What to do about a girl

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Mike Rotch

Mike Rotch

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Advice time:

I work on the 7th floor of my office and i have had my eye on this particular girl for a number of weeks. The other day it happened that i was going up an escalator, she down the one next to it, and we smiled at each other and made 'eye contact'. That got my hopes up, so after a few days of discreet detective work, i found out she operates off the 5th floor. It is difficult to get her name or exact department so I dunno how to approach her.

then today i was sitting having coffee on the 5th floor waiting area when she walked past and got on the escalator with a work mate. She saw me in the course of her conversation, but no smile was forth coming.

a) am i reading something into nothing?

b) what would be the best way to introduce myself?



:banghead:

cheers
 
a) Only she can tell you that.

b) Dont use a planned line or something. Wait and see. If you get no natural meeting with her then why not just grab her (not in the ass) when you bump into each other, introduce yourself and ask where she works in the building.. tell her you've noticed her and so on.. ask her out on a date. I know this is hard to do, but at the same time she'll mabye get flattered from your openness with how you feel.

Good Luck!
 
The easiest way to figure out what chance you have is to have a small bouquet of flowers delivered to her at work. with anot saying simply "a secret admirer from upstairs."

Then wander through her office looking for those flowers. If you find the flowers on her desk, you have a chance. No Flowers means she disposed of them, ie. you have no chance.

If you see the flowers, you're in luck. Then on another "coindental encounter" (escalator, coffe break...) have an index card with "Glad you liked the flowers" written on it. Hold it up so she can see it, but not put her in a position to react to it. This gives her time to decide if she wants to find you or not. She looks for you, that's great, if not, you've not made an uncomfortable intrusion into her life.

As for smiling while crossing on an escalator, that's only a courtesy gesture on her part. Try that same thing in a mall, where you make eye contact and give a smile. Evaluate their reaction against her reaction.

Now the scenario I presented above, has a few problems. One, you have to know where to deliver the flowers, and what her name is. Is this desire for one or two dates? or searching for 6 months worth of moonlights walks on the beach?

Evaluate what you want from her, and figure out a way to put her in a comfortable position to ask for that.

And one last story.... A friend of mine used to carry index cards with things like, "Hey, you're cute" and "Your beauty made my day better" in his car. When he passed a nice looking lady, he showed flash her a card. She'd smile and off he'd go.

This is what you have to do to catch her attention. She's seen you a few times, pay her a compliment. She'll take it, and if she wants more she'll come looking. Light persistance pays off, strong persistance equals stalking.

Just a few ideas.

AO
 
Originally posted by Der Alta
The easiest way to figure out what chance you have is to have a small bouquet of flowers delivered to her at work. with anot saying simply "a secret admirer from upstairs."

Then wander through her office looking for those flowers. If you find the flowers on her desk, you have a chance. No Flowers means she disposed of them, ie. you have no chance.

If you see the flowers, you're in luck. Then on another "coindental encounter" (escalator, coffe break...) have an index card with "Glad you liked the flowers" written on it. Hold it up so she can see it, but not put her in a position to react to it. This gives her time to decide if she wants to find you or not. She looks for you, that's great, if not, you've not made an uncomfortable intrusion into her life.

As for smiling while crossing on an escalator, that's only a courtesy gesture on her part. Try that same thing in a mall, where you make eye contact and give a smile. Evaluate their reaction against her reaction.

Now the scenario I presented above, has a few problems. One, you have to know where to deliver the flowers, and what her name is. Is this desire for one or two dates? or searching for 6 months worth of moonlights walks on the beach?

Evaluate what you want from her, and figure out a way to put her in a comfortable position to ask for that.

And one last story.... A friend of mine used to carry index cards with things like, "Hey, you're cute" and "Your beauty made my day better" in his car. When he passed a nice looking lady, he showed flash her a card. She'd smile and off he'd go.

This is what you have to do to catch her attention. She's seen you a few times, pay her a compliment. She'll take it, and if she wants more she'll come looking. Light persistance pays off, strong persistance equals stalking.

Just a few ideas.

AO
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Thanks thanks both of ya for the advice :)

That flowers think may work - as you say the difficult part is finding out the name and work area. And no, im not after a romp in the grass - thats not my style.

Flash cards may require a bit more confidence then this lad possess tho...:) :O



and GTJ....yea, im counting on a 'chance' meeting....that would be the most ideal way :fingers crossed:
 
This is no diss to anyone here, but I'm concerned about the average age of this board. With that said, the only advice I have is

A) Make sure any advice you get comes from someone that's at least your age or older.

B) Repeat for above.

Biggest thing is to be yourself. Also, do a little more digging. Make sure she's 1) not taken 2) not a boss' daughter, cause both of those could lead you to drama you don't want or need or want at work. Other than that, good luck. I hope everything works out.
 
Just walk up to her and say "Hi, my names Mike, would you like to go out sometime?"

Don't be flash, don't be shy, keep it simple and make the next move hers. Make sure you have a pen and a bit of paper in your pocket in case she wants your number or wants to give you hers.

Be ready with a response if she says "yes, to do what?" Supper is always a good idea and if you suggest a pub don't go to the one all your pissed up mates are in.
 
Slip, are you taking that last paragraph from your own experience?

AO
 
*Deep sigh*

I'll say exactly the same thing that everyone else has said, in the 50,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 or so similar threads that currently lurk around here somewhere:

1. Who cares? I mean, you don't know her, so it doesn't matter what sort of fool you look in front of her. That said, you don't want to go out and TRY to make a fool of yourself in front of her. So if she looks at you like you're a slug, hey, don't feel too bad. ;)

2. Just corner her when she's by herself. Get into conversation, introduce yourself, and if it looks like you're getting nowhere, or she makes it clear that she's not interested, then leave it. It's no biggie.

So there ya have it - the SandStorm School for the Useless has just ended session.
 
kaze: I hear ya re advice, but advice is just that. Its there, its up to me whether to take it or not :) kinda hard to find out if she is taken :( [read: impossible] Unlikely she is the bosses daughter. I work in a listed co. :D

slip: in a perfect world that may work. But she may not know me from a piece of chalk, so just up and asking her out may be a bit forward/creepy and make her uncomfy :(

Appreciate the advice, keep it coming ;)
 
:lol:

Ummm, well not really. But if she doesn't know them and they are demanding his attention she's gunna get ignored most the evening.


Ummm... oh ok look...

Ok here's the truth, actually, it kind of happened in reverse with Bird, I felt a bit like i was on display, prize beef in the parade ring. Ok they wern't drunk but about a dozen of her mates turned up to check me out. Being the bloke i am i didn't have a problem with it but some people might have.
 
Originally posted by SandStorm
*Deep sigh*

I'll say exactly the same thing that everyone else has said, in the 50,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 or so similar threads that currently lurk around here somewhere:

1. Who cares? I mean, you don't know her, so it doesn't matter what sort of fool you look in front of her. That said, you don't want to go out and TRY to make a fool of yourself in front of her. So if she looks at you like you're a slug, hey, don't feel too bad. ;)

2. Just corner her when she's by herself. Get into conversation, introduce yourself, and if it looks like you're getting nowhere, or she makes it clear that she's not interested, then leave it. It's no biggie.

So there ya have it - the SandStorm School for the Useless has just ended session.
Click to expand...



The "who cares about being a fool" bit is true i guess. Altho murphys law. I will run into her every other day post "fool-moment".....
 
Well, you probably have a Christmas party coming if you can wait that long. They give you carte blanche to go up to anyone and talk to them. "Hi, my name's Mike. You've caught my eye a few times before, but tonight you're looking stunning" It's probably not a great idea to go firing in with "Want to go out for dinner" straight away, but it should be a conversation-starter.

Regarding her attached status, have you checked for rings?
 
Originally posted by GilesGuthrie
Well, you probably have a Christmas party coming if you can wait that long. They give you carte blanche to go up to anyone and talk to them. "Hi, my name's Mike. You've caught my eye a few times before, but tonight you're looking stunning" It's probably not a great idea to go firing in with "Want to go out for dinner" straight away, but it should be a conversation-starter.

Regarding her attached status, have you checked for rings?
Click to expand...


First thing i checked for was rings, and there were none. :D

The problem is mainly this. We work on diff floors and in diff departments. cos this is such a big co (no im not blowing smoke up me arse.....) each floor is basically an entity in its own right. Separate xmas parties etc. It was only coincidence i ran into her that time - otherwise i dunno when she takes lunch, where she sits or when she takes a coffee break.

Staking out the escalator on her level may be a bit "Friday the 13th ish". That is the biggest stumbling block at the moment :(

PS Thanks All for the tips - it has certainly got the seeds planted for some possibilities :)

EDIT: that dont mean stop em coming ;)
 
Would've responded sooner, but I've been gone for a few days.

If you're company is that big, there is no guarantee that you're even going to see her again. So making a fool of yourself might not be such a bad idea! :lol:

Okay, seriously. Simply say "hi" to her the next time you see her.

Example:

You: Hi. How you doing? (Not like Joey on Friends!!!)

Her: Fine. How about you?

You: I'm alright. So, what's your name? I keep seeing you around here. Figured I'd ask your name.

Her: -Name-

You: I'm Mike. Mike Rotch. :lol: (Not much I can do for you on the name though. Sorry.)

You: What department do you work for?

Her: -department-

You: I work in -your department-



There! Now you know her name & where she works. Also, since you know her name, it'll be easier to talk to her next time.

I understand that even this may take some guts. But if you can't even do this, how do you expect to ever ask for her number or a first date?

P.S. Don't let this slip from you. You will regret it, even if she isn't as great as you're thinking. Even if she's a disappointment, at least then you won't be wondering about this one in the future.

Take it from me. I've had this situation with a gorgeous woman on my college campus & I never said anything to her. I wondered about her for a long time even after I moved away. When I came back, I had another chance & was able to make up for it. She was a disappointment too. I was beating myself up over a woman that wasn't even worth worrying about. If I had just taken the chance then, I could've saved myself a lot of grief.


Good Luck! 👍
 
just give it a shot. the worst she can do is say no. ur an adult not a high school kid. (im assuming since u work in an office.)
 
Originally posted by Mike Rotch
Advice time:

I work on the 7th floor of my office and i have had my eye on this particular girl for a number of weeks. The other day it happened that i was going up an escalator, she down the one next to it, and we smiled at each other and made 'eye contact'. That got my hopes up, so after a few days of discreet detective work, i found out she operates off the 5th floor. It is difficult to get her name or exact department so I dunno how to approach her.

then today i was sitting having coffee on the 5th floor waiting area when she walked past and got on the escalator with a work mate. She saw me in the course of her conversation, but no smile was forth coming.

a) am i reading something into nothing?

b) what would be the best way to introduce myself?



:banghead:

cheers
Click to expand...

Well dude, you have two choices.

You can either have a dance with choice and ask her out on a date, or you can create your own chances. Like for example; she gets out of work at this time, or passes near a place always at the same time, so you go and make yourself present at that time/location.

In my experience, the hardest part is the first word.
 
Originally posted by Tazio
Would've responded sooner, but I've been gone for a few days.

If you're company is that big, there is no guarantee that you're even going to see her again. So making a fool of yourself might not be such a bad idea! :lol:

Okay, seriously. Simply say "hi" to her the next time you see her.

Example:

You: Hi. How you doing? (Not like Joey on Friends!!!)

Her: Fine. How about you?

You: I'm alright. So, what's your name? I keep seeing you around here. Figured I'd ask your name.

Her: -Name-

You: I'm Mike. Mike Rotch. :lol: (Not much I can do for you on the name though. Sorry.)

You: What department do you work for?

Her: -department-

You: I work in -your department-



There! Now you know her name & where she works. Also, since you know her name, it'll be easier to talk to her next time.

I understand that even this may take some guts. But if you can't even do this, how do you expect to ever ask for her number or a first date?

P.S. Don't let this slip from you. You will regret it, even if she isn't as great as you're thinking. Even if she's a disappointment, at least then you won't be wondering about this one in the future.

Take it from me. I've had this situation with a gorgeous woman on my college campus & I never said anything to her. I wondered about her for a long time even after I moved away. When I came back, I had another chance & was able to make up for it. She was a disappointment too. I was beating myself up over a woman that wasn't even worth worrying about. If I had just taken the chance then, I could've saved myself a lot of grief.


Good Luck! 👍
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You couldnt be more right about the whole regrets thing. I live by that principle with girls - rather ask out then regret. I have caught more lead then a pencil doing it, but it has been worth it (if that makes sense).

I like your suggested approach tho..... :)
 
Originally posted by Mike Rotch
The "who cares about being a fool" bit is true i guess. Altho murphys law. I will run into her every other day post "fool-moment".....
Click to expand...
Oooh yes, fair call... You could change floors, and never venture to hers? :p
 
Originally posted by xAkirax2004
Would you rather sound like a retard? and keep rambling about nothing and just cant get to the point.
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I hear trees are sometimes dark brown, and sometimes they are not. However! Grass is always green.

That's... except when it's yellow.

Duh?
 
sn00pie's post is a perfect example of what NOT to do!

I don't care if you begin fumbling for words. Do NOT start talking about the color of grass.
 
Originally posted by Tazio
sn00pie's post is a perfect example of what NOT to do!

I don't care if you begin fumbling for words. Do NOT start talking about the color of grass.
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Look, Tazio, it doesn't matter what the hell you talk about. If a girl isn't going to like you -- she's not going to like you no matter what the **** you say to her.

And vice versa.
 
I agree with that. But, talking about yellow grass, or even worse, yellow snow, would be a great way to creep out a girl who did like you.

And by the way, IT WAS A JOKE DUDE!
 
Originally posted by Tazio
I agree with that. But, talking about yellow grass, or even worse, yellow snow, would be a great way to creep out a girl who did like you.
Click to expand...

Not really.
 

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