Why is it that when someone you knew way back...

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Gil

Gil

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old-guy64
Why is when someone you knew many years ago dies, it still bothers you, and hits you like a brick?

I found out today that one of the guys from my ship died.
It's been over 20 years, since I heard his name, and I could picture him INSTANTLY in my "mind's eye".
There were some pics included in the e-mails that I got.
I could hardly believe that we looked so damn young.

I still remember him teaching me about sonar, and tracking targets when I was a lowly E-3 Seaman. He was the first guy to "tack on my Crow" when I made E-4. He was the first guy I went and found for the same treatment when I made E-5.

He used to reach into my dungaree shirt pocket, lift my smokes, take one, then ask to borrow my lighter.:lol:

I guess it makes life a little dearer, when you realize that for some unfortunate happening, it could be you your shipmates are mourning.

RIP STGCS Glenn Jurena.
 
Maybe its because the memories of him you have are all or mostly good and/or interesting. You probably spent a lot of time with Glenn on the ship also which is probably why it hit you hard I think. Im thinking back of some old school friends now that I haven't spoken to in a while. If they passed away, I think it would hit me hard too for the same reasons.
 
Gil
Why is when someone you knew many years ago dies, it still bothers you, and hits you like a brick?
Click to expand...
The only answer I have is that I suppose we realize that we're getting older, and that we lose a little bit of our generation each time someone we once knew died, even if we didn't know them well. Last year, I heard a classmate of mine I hadn't seen in 15 years died in a traffic accident...it sort of bothered me all day long.
 
I'm sorry to hear it, Gil. Though I am glad you specified it was your shirt pocket he used to reach into...

On a serious note, I think that Slick Rick and Pupik have it right. We bond to people in our formative years and share good (or trying) times with them. Even though life goes on, you remember that bond. And then news of the death reminds you just how far life has gone on in the interim. It prompts some nostalgia, which is made more emotional by the knowledge that it can never be shared again with that person.

My condolences.
 
Gil
Why is when someone you knew many years ago dies, it still bothers you, and hits you like a brick?
Click to expand...

Because that's how it is with true friends. With true friends, you don't need to call them every week to keep in touch. True friends understand how lives move on, move apart. But then true friends are there when they can be, and when you see them again it's like there was no separation.

It hits you so hard because you think immediately of how much they meant to you, how the time you shared was so valuable, and you realise that that is the end.
 
Thanks for all the kind words guys. It means a lot.

It wasn't so much that the guy was my "true" friend.
He was one of the few people that wasn't openly hostile.
AS some of you might guess, the first time my pretty young wife came to retrieve me from the ship, it caused a bit of a stir among my more redneck shipmates.:lol:
Two or three did a lot to make my life pretty hard when they could.

Glenn was gruff, and sorta cantankerous. But he was fair, a hell of a teacher, and a pretty good guy all-around.
He taught me the proper way to prosecute (persecute) an underwater target.
He also taught me how to be a pretty decent petty officer, after a fashion.

He didn't spend a bunch of time trying to "figure" me out. He just let me be me. He didn't go out of his way to be an ass, even when he could easily have done.

I only truly respected a few guys on that little ship. Glenn was near the top of the list.
 
last tmonth I found out that a lad a year below me in school died of cancer last year. I was frieds with his older brother who was in my year, but only friends in school. I met a girl I wen't to school with last month and we were chatting, talking about people from school and thats how I found out. It hit me like a brick after we stopped talking and I wen't my way. I was 23 when he died of cancer. I hadn't seen him since leaving school 9 years ago, but it still hammers your brain.
 
I have a Happy update:
A few days ago I got a call out of the blue from one of my oldest living friends.
He tracked me down and called me.:D
We've been blood brothers since we were 14. We went to boot camp together when we were 18.
He spent more time at my house than at his own.
I've not heard from him in MANY years.
We've talked quite a lot over that last few days.
It's kinda hard to find stuff to talk about. But we're managing.
 
To answer the original question, the reason why it still hits so hard is that, regardless of how long it's been since you've seen each other, this person was important to you at one time and had an impact on your life. That lasting impact is what makes you mourn them years or decades after you've last seen each other.

That said, I'm sorry for the loss. I know the "war buddy bond" quite well from the time I spent in the Corps.
 
Well, we've been working it out.
Our lives took widely divergent paths after we went our separate ways in the Navy.
So, now we're kinda getting to know each other again.
Cool on one level, but weird on another.
 
Well I guess I'm pretty fortunate because no one I've known has died. As far as I can tell they're in good health. But I'm sorry to hear about your loss, pretty similar to the "In Memory of Beau" thread but at least Glenn died peacefully.:(

:-)
 
Live a while longer.
I just thought I'd be a lot older before the number of people that I knew well that had died started closing on the number of living people I know.

But in the grand scheme, it really isn't that many people that I know that have died.
But once it's more than a handful, it seems like a lot. And in my chosen profession, you see a large number of people to "the other side".
Of course you expect that. It's when your friends/peers die it gets odd.
 

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