Work jokes

[ledhed]

* Page yourself over the intercom. Dont disguise your voice.

* Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after you boss does. (Note: This is especially effective if your boss is of a different gender than you.)

* Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. "That's a good point, Sparky. No, Im sorry, but I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Cha-Cha"

* Send e-mail to the rest of the company telling them exactly what youre doing. For example: If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom.

* Hi-Lite your shoes. Tell people you havent lost them as much since you did this. While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive liquid. Call everyone Marge.

* Hang mosquito netting around your cubicle.

* When you emerge to get coffee or a printout or whatever, slap yourself randomly the whole way.

* Put a chair facing a printer. Sit there all day and tell people you're waiting for your document.

* Every time someone asks you to do something, anything, ask them if they want fries with that.

* Send e-mails back and forth to yourself engaging yourself in an intellectual debate.

* Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the disagreement.

* Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair-dancing.

* Put your trash can on your desk. Label it IN.

* Feign an unnatural and hysterical fear of staplers.

* Send e-mail messages saying theres free pizza or donuts or cake in the lunchroom. When people drift back to work complaining that they found none, lean back, pat your stomach and say, "Oh you've got to be faster than that!"

* Put decaf in the coffeemaker for three weeks. Once everyone has withdrawn from caffeine addiction, switch to espresso!

 

[ledhed]

A man and his wife were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. The wife says to her husband, "For our anniversary this year, you can ask me one question, any question you want to, and I will answer it truthfully."

The husband replies, "Okay, this has been bothering me for a long time, but I haven't had the courage to ask before... I have noticed that all of our eight children look similar to one another except one. I can't figure out how he got to look so different. Did he have a different father than the rest?"

The wife stops. She is unable to look her husband in the eyes. Slowly she replies, "Yes, he did have a different father."

Her husband was taken aback. "Oh! Okay...I must know. Please tell me. Who was that child's father?"

Again she cannot look her husband in the eyes. She is very distressed, and after a long silence she slowly said, "YOU".

 

[Vasco]

Very funny!

 

[Matrixhasu77]

Haha, I like the one about the printer and the chair.

 

[TsLeng]

These are pranks I have actually pulled on coworkers. They are all great and very simple to pull off! I'll list more when I think of them (or when you guys send em in.) -ebaum

Go into MS Word or similar program on co-worker's computer, and add an entry to the AutoCorrect feature. This is a very simple prank that will send the novice user into a frenzy. Configure the AutoCorrect option to replace the word "the" with the phrase "you suck!". They will usually panick and start scanning for viruses.
Take clear tape and tape the underside of the mouse. Make sure you take the sticky end of the tape and apply it to the bottom of the mouse so it locks the ball in place. The victim will most likely check the connections in the back, reinstall drivers, reboot, etc., before they realize what has happened.
Another gem is to do a "Print Screen" of the user's desktop, and then paste the image from the clipboard to a photo program, and save the image as a bitmap. Then, set the 'snapshot' of their desktop as the actual desktop wallpaper. (You'll have to hide the Windows status bar, and move all their desktop icons into a folder, which you can hide conspicuously in the corner or something.) The user will see their desktop as always, but everything on it will appear to be frozen when they try to click on it...sending them into a rebooting and virus scanning fit!
This will mostly only work with people with very little PC knowledge. Stick in a floppy in there floppy drive. They will be unable to boot up windows until the disk is out. This is fun to watch.
Try to find a very obnoxious CD laying around. Preferably a reggae or rap CD. Pop it in their CD ROM. Put up the sound full blast by double clicking on the volume control on the bottom right. On normal configurations the audio CD will autoplay when windows first starts up. The person starting up there PC in the morning will definitely be embarrassed.
This is for that special person you just cant stand in the office, the one who talks on the phone all day with their boyfriend/girlfriend and gets personal e-mail all day. Go into their e-mail and change their defaults to autmatically "blind carbon copy" their boss or supervisor. Heads will roll!
Change the coffee in the office coffe maker to decafe. Wait about three weeks(or untill you think everybody has gotten over their caffine addiction)and switch to expresso!
Try "password securing" someone's screen saver. First I suggest changing the screen saver to "scrolling marque" and inserting your own word or phrase, "Mr. Jones (president or supervisor) eats SHlT" or something to that effect.
My absolutely most favorite prank I have saved for last. It is so simple to do and yields such nice results. Simply pop out the 'm' and 'n' key on someone's keyboard and reverse the two. Any flat tool will work. Just pry it with little pressure and they will easily come right off. Then just sit back and watch the confusion.
With someone who is on the phone a lot during work - This works if you have phones that the handset comes apart. Take the handset apart and put scotch tape over the mouthpeice inside. They can still be heard, but they have to talk loud to be heard. The next day take it off, and put it in the earpeice. Usually they will be yelling to the other person on the line the next day, and won't be able to hear them. When they complain about the phone, and get a replacement, do it on the next phone. After about a week you will notice the calls to be down considerably.
Depending where you are at you may have a cafeteria in you place of work. Every week most of them put out a menu so you know what they are serving. Usually it is done on Word or Excel, and not extremely fancy. With a little work, matching fonts, and images you can make your own menus, and post them by your desk. We had one co-worker avoid the cafeteria for 2 weeks because of the selection "fish head stew" etc... before he caught on. Works great with picky eaters.

 

[ledhed]

I like to keep it simple ..like taking all the tools out of a tool box and then screwing the box to the floor before replacing them..or when I see someone sleeping stapling them by their shirt to the chair they are in. Somebody on the phone too much ? Snip the phone line..easy stuff..

 

[Lazy]

muahhhah!