You may be a redneck if.....

Mike Rotch · Oct 1, 2003

1. A Halloween pumpkin has more teeth than your wife does.

2. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4. Jack Daniel's makes your list of "most admired people."

5. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

6. Someone in your family once died right after saying: "Hey, watch this...."

7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

8. A ceiling fan once ruined your wife's hairdo.

9. Directions to your house include, "Turn off the paved road."

10. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded, right off its wheels.

11. The market value of your car goes up and down, depending on how much gas is in it.

12. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

13. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

14. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

15. You think "loaded dishwasher" means your wife is drunk.

16. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

17. Your front porch collapses and kills more than five dogs.

DJ_andercore · Oct 1, 2003

Hahah!
ITS SOOO TRUE!

U.N.A.M · Oct 1, 2003

milefile · Oct 1, 2003

You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids. :lol:

Viper_Maniac · Oct 1, 2003

Seen most of them before but still funny. :lol:

Rumple Foreskin · Oct 1, 2003

Funny stuff.
There are so many funny redneck lists, and most are great.

69Dodge_Charger · Oct 1, 2003

I live in Mississippi and none of that stuff ever happens. I hate people who are stereotypical of people from the south. You've never even been to the south most likely! :mad:

Curveball · Oct 1, 2003

3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

Frustrated Palm · Oct 2, 2003

Originally posted by 69Dodge_Charger
I live in Mississippi and none of that stuff ever happens. I hate people who are stereotypical of people from the south. You've never even been to the south most likely!

Relax man, its making fun of the stereo types, its just for fun and is meant no offense. Im from Illinios myself, and hear jokes about it, but know they are just jokes, and some are funny...

Timmotheus · Oct 2, 2003

Originally posted by 69Dodge_Charger
I live in Mississippi and none of that stuff ever happens. I hate people who are stereotypical of people from the south. You've never even been to the south most likely!

Those jokes are about Rednecks. Not Southerners. Now go feed the hogs.

Zrow · Oct 2, 2003

"You thought "Loaded dishwasher" meant that your wife was drunk" :lol:

Mike Rotch · Oct 2, 2003

Originally posted by 69Dodge_Charger
I live in Mississippi and none of that stuff ever happens. I hate people who are stereotypical of people from the south. You've never even been to the south most likely!

Loosen up dude. As said before it is just a dig at stereo types. I bet you think Africa is a country? or maybe there are lions roaming around my streets?

Geez, sensitive types like you really grate my carrot :grumpy:

EDIT: Timmotheus - :lol:

69Dodge_Charger · Oct 2, 2003

If you guys would hang around me more you would know I don't take alot of jokes seriously anyway. Infact if you really hang out around me you would know that sometimes I myself make jokes about me living in the south. So learn to take a joke. :lol:

EDIT: They need some kind of sarcasm smiley.

Mike Rotch · Oct 3, 2003

Originally posted by 69Dodge_Charger
If you guys would hang around me more you would know I don't take alot of jokes seriously anyway. Infact if you really hang out around me you would know that sometimes I myself make jokes about me living in the south. So learn to take a joke.
EDIT: They need some kind of sarcasm smiley.