Zen Haiku for Computer Users

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Zen Haiku for Computer Users

In Japan, they have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful computer error messages with Haiku poetry messages. Haiku poetry has strict construction rules: Each poem has only 17 syllables; 5 syllables in the first line, 7 in the second line, 5 in the third line. They are used to communicate a timeless message, often achieving a wistful, yearning and powerful insight through extreme brevity. Here are 16 actual error messages from Japan. Below, the essence of Zen.


Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.


The Web site you seek
Cannot be located, but
Countless more exist.


Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.



Program aborting:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.


Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.



Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.


First snow, then silence.
This thousand-dollar screen dies
So beautifully.


With searching comes loss
And the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.



The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao until
You bring fresh toner.


Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.



A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.


Three things are certain:
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.


You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.



Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.


Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.


Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank....

==============================

~LoudMusic
 
Very nihilistic for a Monday morning.

Is work really an appropriate place to have one's eyes opened to the entropy and corruption of the universe?

Or am I just pre-coffee?
 
Originally posted by vat_man
Very nihilistic for a Monday morning.

Is work really an appropriate place to have one's eyes opened to the entropy and corruption of the universe?

Or am I just pre-coffee?

"Looks like somebody's got a case of the moandays" -- co-worker woman in "Office Space"

Man, it's still Sunday afternoon here. Thanks for reminding me about Monday. Jerk. j/k

Has anyone used BeOS? Their browser is called NetPossitive, and all the error messages are haikus. Very entertaining. The general popup messages in the OS are pretty good too, but they're not themed in haiku style.

~LoudMusic
 
I like this one

First snow, then silence.
This thousand-dollar screen dies
So beautifully.

This could be a Radiohead lyric, from a song they might call 'Anemic Boxes' or something.
 
That one is good too. I highlighted my favorites in blue (in case you couldn't tell ... ) This is my absolute favorite though:

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.

At work ....

<co-worker> Hey my compu-

<me> Did you reboot?

<co-worker> ... well I wa-

<me> Reboot.

<co-worker> Ok


~LoudMusic
 
At One Thousand Posts
Your Mind Becomes Blank To Thoughts
Of Potential Names
 
I forgot all about these. THEY'RE AWESOME! Just thought I'd bring them back (:

~LoudMusic
 
A resurection
Your new trend seems to be now
Threads of old, holy cow!
 
You are on to me
How can this be happening?
How embarrasing!

~LoudMusic
 
Let's just see for once
If we can keep this way of
Speaking like a Dove!
 
You are scaring me
I'm going on my lunch break
Back in an hour - peace

~LoudMusic
 
It is good to see
This thread of haikus again
Let's have some cheap laughs
 
Paul, or LoudMusic
this thread brings great waves of joy
and sharp stabs of pain

----

Computer, vile one
crashing, burning, confounding
just play the damned game



:D

Aren't you glad I don't do this more often?
 
Simple poetry
Will Soon Become Weaponry
In Our Unskilled Hands

Words Will Cut Like Swords
Phrases Crush Us Like Lead Weights
Through Incompetence

Poor Phrasing Will Stun
Badly Chosen Words Will Blind
But This Too Will Pass

Until Some Newbie
Or Bored Senior Member Drags
This Thread Out Again
 
Mangled malicious
phrases heartlessly bludgeon
our good intellects

:)
 
This Stream of Abuse
Rains Like Blows from a Boxer
I am Dazed and Stunned

I Feel My IQ
Running Away Like Water
I Sit Here, Vacant
 
Beck's Amber Fluid
Has Done Its Damage Again
And So I Retire....
 
Hey! Look What I Found
Lurking in the Recesses
Of Old, Quiet Threads!
 
Ah vat you nimrod, this thread is old.

That is not a haiku I'm sorry.
 
I know - I was trawling through the Comedy Corner looking for a website I posted here a long time ago and stumbled across it.
 
A lot of people ***** and moan about people bringin back old threads, but seeing as you're a mod you can just ban their arse.
 
Actually, I was hoping to provoke LoudMusic into posting.
 
This was before my time. Thanks to whomever brought it back up. So very poignant. :lol:
 
Originally posted by risingson77
Yeah, where is he, anyway?!

Dunno - I was digging around last night and it seems he hasn't posted in over two weeks. Might be on summer vacation, maybe his sordid love life has caught up with him. Who know?

Oh wait - sorry...

It Seems Loudmusic
Has Not Put Up a Post Here
In Over Two Weeks

He Might Be Away
Or Perhaps He's Indisposed
By Things Romantic
 
Ah, dear, dear, LoudMusic
Has a female stolen you?
GT good, sex great

:D
 
Actually, in Japanese, Haiku is written with 5 -7 - 5 letters, not syllables. Somebody changed to syllables because it doent work in English.
 
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