Cytranear: Chapter 6: Departure [8 November 2013]
- Thread starter Skython
- 45 comments
- 7,348 views
- 7,184
- beyond down under
Okay, it's been delayed again... I just rewrote the end of the chapter, only for the computer to freeze again, this time resulting in me raging and breaking the stand on the back of my keyboard after smashing it on the desk. This means I'm pissed off and won't be able to write calmly which will make the quality drop, and it's really uncomfortable to type with the back of the keyboard down like this... I've only had it for a few months and I need a new one. Computers and I really don't get along, never have and never will. And now I'm sick of me having to suffer because my computer can't get its act together (it froze again before I saved it). So I don't know when the new chapter will come out, could be later today, could be tomorrow, whenever my anger disappears because I'm sick of this 🤬 computer. Completing this chapter will be the end of me! I'll die from frustration minutes after I release it.
Last edited:
- 2,429
- Heaven's Fence
- Anathema-Kure
- Justin Jectlol
If Newegg works in NZ, I suggest you try that if you need a new one... I paid $400 for my current one, which is a Acer Aspire 5560 with an AMD A6 Quad-Core with a AMD Radeon graphics card, 4 stock GB RAM (Mine is now 6, I upgraded it) and a 500 GB hard drive.
Works like a dream.
Works like a dream.
- 7,184
- beyond down under
I am definitely planning on getting a new one. But I'm not sure if Newegg sends to New Zealand or not, most sites tend to charge ridiculous shipping prices or don't deliver here at all. I'm planning on buying something preloaded with Windows 7, and brand new. What I had was neither of those and it only lasted 7 months (maybe not even that) before it started playing up.
I'm currently looking at PC's on DEE INTERWEBZ!!! $500 (about $400 US probably) for a ThinkCentre Edge72 3493-EBM Desktop. No monitor or keyboard, I've already got those. 5 Ghz CPU, 2 cores, 4 GB memory, 500 GB hard drive. Seems promising compared to my current PC, which is 2.6 Ghz, 2 cores, 2 GB memory, 80 GB hard drive. I'm not sure, I don't know which manufacturers are good and which aren't...
Anyway...
"So you're saying the car has been losing power recently?" Jack said as he watched Jerry pacing around the garage.
"The car is getting terrible, it won't keep up, so we need all the power we can get," Jerry crashed into the chair in the corner.
"We'll make it work, just needs an oil change, and some 'minor' modifications," Jack smiled as he got into the Golf.
"Now, we can still drive it, so let's go down and see if we can get upgrades so that we can match the specs of our rivals. Them being a small Street racing Gang, they will definitely have modifications," Jack started up the Golf and allowed Jerry to get in.
"Do you know what surface the track we're racing is?" Jack said as they drove down the road.
"We're racing on gravel, the track is 100% gravel, and has a couple of jumps along with some fast corners, mixed in with some tight hairpins," Jerry thought for a second as if he forgot to mention something.
"Okay, now I know what we need to do to the car. Is there somewhere which sells Volkswagen parts?" Jack slowed down a little bit.
"Yeah, just follow my directions..." Jerry said as he leaned forward to see where they were...
-------------
"So what have we done to it?" Jerry asked as if he were worried about his car.
"Just added some small power upgrades, we've gotten specialized rally tires, and some minor suspension adjustments. Turns out it was already equipped with some high quality suspension, that was a money saver," Jack said as he passed Jerry the remaining money that wasn't spent.
"So we should be alright now?" Jerry asked.
"Yeah, we're ready for the race, which we have to be at in about an hour, so let's go," Jack floored it and gave Jerry an example of the car's new power.
"So this is a pink slip event, what car are you going to be winning?" Jack asked.
"Well, last time I saw them there was another VW Golf just like mine, quicker but different colour. The leader had a Mazda RX8, but said he isn't going to be risking that away, so he won't be driving it today. That is a good thing for us, because that thing is a powerhouse, and then there was his other goon in a 2007 Mini Cooper S. They said I could have any car participating as they are all one gang, so they count as one driver, but if any of them beat me, I lose mine," Jerry said as they drove over the crest and onto the gravel roads.
They stopped and switched seats to start work on their plan, and headed off again, and soon found the track. They saw the roads they would be racing on, and Jack realized something.
"I've seen these roads before, I don't..." Jack was interrupted.
"Well of course, they were once used for small rally events about 8 years ago, so that wouldn't surprise me," Jerry drove to the start line.
Two of the three cars sat there waiting, the Mini Cooper, and the VW Golf. Though the third was nowhere to be seen, as Jerry parked near them the two men once occupying the cars approached them.
"Who's this goon, and why is he here?" One of them looked straight at Jack who was now wearing a cast.
"Me? I'm here to smack him in the head and beat him in the case that he loses my car that he's been borrowing. I may have a broken arm but I don't have a broken head, and I knew he was up to something," Jack's acting was very promising and Jerry was almost fooled into believing him, and the other two goons stepped back and started whispering.
"Alright, how do we know that your arm is actually broken and that you're not faking it? Planning on switching and winning?" One said as the other walked around to Jack's side of the car.
The man reached in the window and grabbed Jack's arm.
"AAARRRGHHH!!!!" Jack shouted as the man did his testing, the man soon came to a verdict.
"That is most definitely broken, I can feel it, the bone's out of place," the two men looked at each other for a second.
"Okay, we'll let you wait in there, just adds more weight to your car" they said as they walked back. They all waiting for the third to turn up, before what was most likely him, rose over the top of the nearest hill, no one could say anything about it, other than it was red, and quite boxy... Jack realized what it was before everyone else and turned to Jerry,
"When we win, you're taking that. It's a good car, it's a..." Jack said as he turned back to look at the car which had arrived.
"Lancia Delta!?" Jerry shouted.
"Exactly," Jack said as he nodded.
"I thought Lancia's always broke down," Jerry looked a little confused.
"Not this one, this is what can happen when Lancia gets it right," Jack said as he looked at the car.
The man who popped out looked almost like a businessman, he wore a suit, tie, and even had black shiny shoes. Jerry got out of the Golf and walked towards the three men who were discussing something.
"Well, well, well... I'm surprised you showed up, I thought you'd be too afraid to lose your beloved Golf. We don't understand why you love that car, it's so vulgar, so... Try hard looking, that we'd only let Raleon drive it," the man said as he laughed at his own goon.
"Don't get your hopes up too much, Kai," Jerry looked at the group leader.
Raleon looked annoyed as his boss mocked him, and muttered something no one actually heard.
"So, the race will just be three laps, Raleon will start at the front, I'll start in second, Kez will start third, and you will start last. And also, race cleanly guys, I don't want my new dull Golf to be damaged when I get it, because then my newest member will be disappointed. It's starting to get dark everyone, so let's go," Kai said before everyone walked to their cars and got their positions sorted.
They waited as a woman stood at the start line, looked like she would mark the start of the race. Luckily for Jack and Jerry, they were in last and no one would see them switch, so they made the change quickly, and a few seconds later the woman stood under one of the flood lights and started counting down.
"3! 2! 1! GO!!" She screamed as she swung a flag out in every driver's visibility.
"I can barely see through all of this dust! The darkness ain't helping either."
"I'll show you that I, Raleon can be a better driver than all of you."
"Come on, Jack, pass that Kez guy already!"
"I've got to wait for the right oppurtunity."
"This could be it, I'm closing in."
At that moment the Mini suddenly slammed on its brakes.
"OH 🤬!!! He 🤬 brake tested me, to his own disadvantage."
"He's already passed Kez? How is he doing this, he was nowhere near this good last time I saw him drive."
"You're kidding right, he's almost got me too, I'm not letting him on through."
"This Delta guy is a really bad driver, has he ever heard of an apex?"
"No, he hasn't. But he has definitely heard of power upgrades."
"WOAH!!! Here are the jumps!"
Jack pushed the Golf around the rest of the lap and soon caught up to the Lancia.
"Almost got him, almost."
"I ain't letting him pass me!!! Must keep to the plan and block him."
"The plan is working!"
"How did he get there?"
"Oh 🤬..."
"Now we've got to catch this Golf. Looks like the other guys have held us up for a reason."
"YIIPEEEE!!! I'm remembering why I loved rallying all these years ago!"
"Focus, Jack!"
"Okay, okay. I've almost caught him."
"Raleon will not lose!"
"Here's those juAARRGGHHmps again..."
"Oh I've got you now!"
"Maybe I don't have you now? This guy is quick!"
"But this is where all the passing magic happens at this hairpin!"
"We've been running side by side for half a lap, he's got to stuff up sooner or later..."
"I think I've got him!"
"Got to show my worth to Kai! But is that what I really want?"
"GOT HIM!!!"
"I think I made the right decision."
"It's all fun for the rest of the race..."
"YEEHAW!!"
Jack drove out of sight of where the others would see, and they switched seats again before returning to the start line. By now the other three had arrived already and Kai was obviously angered by the results. He had a large stick and was beating Raleon with it, shouting obscenities and giving out threats.
"How could you lose!? Your car is tuned, his one ISN'T! You must be one really pathe... Oh," Kai turned his attention to Jerry who stood out of his car and approached them.
"It was tuned today, so it was probably to similar specs as your cars, just to be fair. Now, if you don't mind, I think we had a deal?" Jerry looked back at the Delta.
"(sigh) Yes we did, which car do you want?" Kai's look of worry grew a little.
"That Lancia Delta please," Jerry smiled.
Kai was reluctant to give away the keys, but he knew that he was under an agreement and a rule of his life. So he handed over the keys and smacked Raleon again with the stick. Jerry walked halfway back to the Delta before stopping and saying.
"You know what, Kai? Before I leave, I have one thing to say. Of all the people I've ever had to deal with, you are probably the most cruel, sad and pathetic of the lot. You beat your own colleagues for your own wrongs, and treat them like dirt. I'd say if both of these guys were to be honest, they probably hate you," Jerry couldn't wipe the smug smile off of his face as he realized how "badass" he felt.
But then Jerry heard a familiar sound, but one he has only ever heard in movies before. He turned around to see if his ears were correct, and they were... Jerry looked at Kai, and the gun that was pointing his way...
"I treat my men this way for good reason, I'm not a bad example. I show a perfect example of how DIRT. Should be treated," Kai aims at the ground near Jerry's feet and fires. The shot misses Jerry by millimeters.
"And if anyone is sad and pathetic, it's you. You come here, and get your confidence up, before insulting my entire clan... That is pathetic, now guys, if you don't mind... Take care of the young one," Kai stood back.
Around him more guns loaded. Kai smiled and looked around to immerse in the moment of his men standing for him, only for his smile to be wiped off of his face. The guns were faced directly towards Kai, and Kai froze.
"Guys, not me... Him, he insulted us, are we going to deal with that?" he remained frozen and waited to see what happens next...
"You know what Kai, the both of us have sacrificed a lot for you, we've sacrificed our dreams, families, and almost 10 years of our lives... We've almost died for you, and yet you still treat us the same, as if we've never done a good thing for you in our lives... It's time for a change, as we can't deal with it," Raleon said as he remained in the same standing position...
Kai tried to act quickly, he pulled hi gun towards Raleon but in a split second a gun shot from behind send the gun flying from Kai's hand, and sent Kai onto the ground.
"RUN!!" Kez shouted.
Everyone ran to their cars, Jack switching into the Golf's driver's seat, Jerry into the Delta, they all evacuated. All except for Kez, as he sat in his Mini Cooper, he reversed 30 meters and made a dash towards Kai, who had now stood up. He was making a run for it, in hope to escape Kez, but his attempts were a failure, Kai jumped in an attempt for not go under the Mini, but was still hit, and the collision sent Kai flying over the top of the Mini and onto the ground. Kez stopped next to Kai's struggling body.
"Is THIS what you wanted, HUH!?" Kez shouted as he pointed his gun at the defenseless Kai.
He fired two shots at Kai, and watched him. He watched as Kai's body stopped trembling, his eyes glazed over, and the blood mixed with the dirt he laid in... Kez looked around.
"And never shall he burden us again," Kez said as he drove away.
Meanwhile Jack and Jerry both sped in an attempt to get back to the apartment without being seen. Neither of the two were sure what they had witnessed, and didn't know if they had witnessed murder or not. Neither of them wanted to know, both knowing that the more they did know, the more it could hurt them in the future, in the case of being called in as witnesses, or suspects. Jack looked in his rear view mirror to see they were being followed by Raleon, so when they arrived at the apartment, they weren't sure what his intentions were. They ran into the building and locked the doors, and hid... In silence they waited.
"My driving work here is done, but I don't think my work is entirely done here," Jack said as he watched Jerry shaking as he sat under the table.
"Well, I think I may need your help, but really, you saved me back there. You worked hard to help me keep my car, but I had to be a smartass and cause all of that, it's my fault!" Jerry started to panic.
"Shut up, you didn't kill him, he killed himself by treating others like dirt... Calm down!" Jack threw the TV remote at Jerry, and the hit seemed to snap him back to reality.
"Well, you can have that Lancia Delta, you won it, not me," Jerry threw the keys over to Jack.
"Why the Delta?" Jack asked.
"Because I love Volkswagens, hence why I have a Golf," Jerry replied.
Jack looked over to the door, wondering if Raleon will find them or not. Suddenly Jack heard knocking on the door...
"Hello? It's Raleon, I want to apologize for the scare there... I'm not here to hurt you, Kez doesn't want to hurt you either. We actually want to thank you for helping us, Kai has been torturing us for almost 10 years, and we just needed the opportunity to end it, and you happened to be our saviour. Kai was just a power corrupted maniac, he must have learned it off his brother, Max Edge..." Raleon was interrupted.
The door swung open and Jack pulled Raleon in...
"What do you know about Max Edge?" Jack asked as he held Raleon to the wall...
"Let me go so I can tell you..." Raleon struggled...
Jack let him go but didn't keep his focus off of his movements...
"Well, I know that he lives in Europe now, he comes back to America on his usual murderous scheming business. He is currently here in America doing that now. I know some of the murders he has commited too for money. He was the cause for Jack Cytranear's downfall. Made loads off of his..." Raleon was interrupted again...
"I think Jack here would be aware of that already..." Jerry pointed at Jack and mouthed "he IS Jack Cytranear."
"Oh, Jack, now I have a name to add to that face. Nice to meet you," Raleon shaked Jack's hand and continued.
"He killed a man in Japan called Katsuo Takahashi, who was a rich businessman with a taste for speed, made millions off of him, and left him dead in a bush. No one found him for 3 weeks. And he killed a man around here recently named Brian Wilsborough, another businessman. He invited him to a high speed illegal street race at night. He put on motorbike safety gear along with all this extra padding before he got in, a sweating heap he must have been. He faked a spin, and then drove backwards around the track layout before jumping out the door and watching the two cars collide head on, killed the man instantly, again Edge made millions off of him... That's all I know," Raleon leaned on the wall.
"Well that's news to me. Some valuable information too," Jack in his head was desperate to get back try and get forgiveness from Diane now, but tried to hide it from Jerry and Raleon.
"Jack, here's my number. If you ever need a driver, or help with some business I'm at your service," Raleon handed Jack a card, and then Jack handed both Raleon and Jerry cards which had his number...
"Just if either of you get into trouble..." Jack smiled.
"However, I really must apologize, but I must get moving now," Jack walked towards the door.
"Really? Right now?" Jerry looked confused.
"Yes, right now... Bye guys," he close the door behind him and then literally jumped into the Delta before taking off, heading back from where he came when he was with Diane... Only worrying for what may have already happened...
-----------------------------
That was rather action packed compared to what I usually do... I don't think there are any errors in there now, and keep in mind that the last section of the race and the rest of the chapter got rewritten three times, so I want to know if there's any change in quality, whether it be good or bad.
For this chapter I tried mixing my Gallery and my fan fic, hence why the camera angles are a little more ambitious and are edited, it would be cool to be getting some feedback on those too. Hint, hint. 
I'm currently looking at PC's on DEE INTERWEBZ!!! $500 (about $400 US probably) for a ThinkCentre Edge72 3493-EBM Desktop. No monitor or keyboard, I've already got those. 5 Ghz CPU, 2 cores, 4 GB memory, 500 GB hard drive. Seems promising compared to my current PC, which is 2.6 Ghz, 2 cores, 2 GB memory, 80 GB hard drive. I'm not sure, I don't know which manufacturers are good and which aren't...
Anyway...
Chapter 4: 100% possible?
"So you're saying the car has been losing power recently?" Jack said as he watched Jerry pacing around the garage.
"The car is getting terrible, it won't keep up, so we need all the power we can get," Jerry crashed into the chair in the corner.
"We'll make it work, just needs an oil change, and some 'minor' modifications," Jack smiled as he got into the Golf.
"Now, we can still drive it, so let's go down and see if we can get upgrades so that we can match the specs of our rivals. Them being a small Street racing Gang, they will definitely have modifications," Jack started up the Golf and allowed Jerry to get in.
"Do you know what surface the track we're racing is?" Jack said as they drove down the road.
"We're racing on gravel, the track is 100% gravel, and has a couple of jumps along with some fast corners, mixed in with some tight hairpins," Jerry thought for a second as if he forgot to mention something.
"Okay, now I know what we need to do to the car. Is there somewhere which sells Volkswagen parts?" Jack slowed down a little bit.
"Yeah, just follow my directions..." Jerry said as he leaned forward to see where they were...
-------------
"So what have we done to it?" Jerry asked as if he were worried about his car.
"Just added some small power upgrades, we've gotten specialized rally tires, and some minor suspension adjustments. Turns out it was already equipped with some high quality suspension, that was a money saver," Jack said as he passed Jerry the remaining money that wasn't spent.
"So we should be alright now?" Jerry asked.
"Yeah, we're ready for the race, which we have to be at in about an hour, so let's go," Jack floored it and gave Jerry an example of the car's new power.
"So this is a pink slip event, what car are you going to be winning?" Jack asked.
"Well, last time I saw them there was another VW Golf just like mine, quicker but different colour. The leader had a Mazda RX8, but said he isn't going to be risking that away, so he won't be driving it today. That is a good thing for us, because that thing is a powerhouse, and then there was his other goon in a 2007 Mini Cooper S. They said I could have any car participating as they are all one gang, so they count as one driver, but if any of them beat me, I lose mine," Jerry said as they drove over the crest and onto the gravel roads.
They stopped and switched seats to start work on their plan, and headed off again, and soon found the track. They saw the roads they would be racing on, and Jack realized something.
"I've seen these roads before, I don't..." Jack was interrupted.
"Well of course, they were once used for small rally events about 8 years ago, so that wouldn't surprise me," Jerry drove to the start line.
Two of the three cars sat there waiting, the Mini Cooper, and the VW Golf. Though the third was nowhere to be seen, as Jerry parked near them the two men once occupying the cars approached them.
"Who's this goon, and why is he here?" One of them looked straight at Jack who was now wearing a cast.
"Me? I'm here to smack him in the head and beat him in the case that he loses my car that he's been borrowing. I may have a broken arm but I don't have a broken head, and I knew he was up to something," Jack's acting was very promising and Jerry was almost fooled into believing him, and the other two goons stepped back and started whispering.
"Alright, how do we know that your arm is actually broken and that you're not faking it? Planning on switching and winning?" One said as the other walked around to Jack's side of the car.
The man reached in the window and grabbed Jack's arm.
"AAARRRGHHH!!!!" Jack shouted as the man did his testing, the man soon came to a verdict.
"That is most definitely broken, I can feel it, the bone's out of place," the two men looked at each other for a second.
"Okay, we'll let you wait in there, just adds more weight to your car" they said as they walked back. They all waiting for the third to turn up, before what was most likely him, rose over the top of the nearest hill, no one could say anything about it, other than it was red, and quite boxy... Jack realized what it was before everyone else and turned to Jerry,
"When we win, you're taking that. It's a good car, it's a..." Jack said as he turned back to look at the car which had arrived.
"Lancia Delta!?" Jerry shouted.
"Exactly," Jack said as he nodded.
"I thought Lancia's always broke down," Jerry looked a little confused.
"Not this one, this is what can happen when Lancia gets it right," Jack said as he looked at the car.
The man who popped out looked almost like a businessman, he wore a suit, tie, and even had black shiny shoes. Jerry got out of the Golf and walked towards the three men who were discussing something.
"Well, well, well... I'm surprised you showed up, I thought you'd be too afraid to lose your beloved Golf. We don't understand why you love that car, it's so vulgar, so... Try hard looking, that we'd only let Raleon drive it," the man said as he laughed at his own goon.
"Don't get your hopes up too much, Kai," Jerry looked at the group leader.
Raleon looked annoyed as his boss mocked him, and muttered something no one actually heard.
"So, the race will just be three laps, Raleon will start at the front, I'll start in second, Kez will start third, and you will start last. And also, race cleanly guys, I don't want my new dull Golf to be damaged when I get it, because then my newest member will be disappointed. It's starting to get dark everyone, so let's go," Kai said before everyone walked to their cars and got their positions sorted.
They waited as a woman stood at the start line, looked like she would mark the start of the race. Luckily for Jack and Jerry, they were in last and no one would see them switch, so they made the change quickly, and a few seconds later the woman stood under one of the flood lights and started counting down.
"3! 2! 1! GO!!" She screamed as she swung a flag out in every driver's visibility.
"I can barely see through all of this dust! The darkness ain't helping either."
"I'll show you that I, Raleon can be a better driver than all of you."
"Come on, Jack, pass that Kez guy already!"
"I've got to wait for the right oppurtunity."
"This could be it, I'm closing in."
At that moment the Mini suddenly slammed on its brakes.
"OH 🤬!!! He 🤬 brake tested me, to his own disadvantage."
"He's already passed Kez? How is he doing this, he was nowhere near this good last time I saw him drive."
"You're kidding right, he's almost got me too, I'm not letting him on through."
"This Delta guy is a really bad driver, has he ever heard of an apex?"
"No, he hasn't. But he has definitely heard of power upgrades."
"WOAH!!! Here are the jumps!"
Jack pushed the Golf around the rest of the lap and soon caught up to the Lancia.
"Almost got him, almost."
"I ain't letting him pass me!!! Must keep to the plan and block him."
"The plan is working!"
"How did he get there?"
"Oh 🤬..."
"Now we've got to catch this Golf. Looks like the other guys have held us up for a reason."
"YIIPEEEE!!! I'm remembering why I loved rallying all these years ago!"
"Focus, Jack!"
"Okay, okay. I've almost caught him."
"Raleon will not lose!"
"Here's those juAARRGGHHmps again..."
"Oh I've got you now!"
"Maybe I don't have you now? This guy is quick!"
"But this is where all the passing magic happens at this hairpin!"
"We've been running side by side for half a lap, he's got to stuff up sooner or later..."
"I think I've got him!"
"Got to show my worth to Kai! But is that what I really want?"
"GOT HIM!!!"
"I think I made the right decision."
"It's all fun for the rest of the race..."
"YEEHAW!!"
Jack drove out of sight of where the others would see, and they switched seats again before returning to the start line. By now the other three had arrived already and Kai was obviously angered by the results. He had a large stick and was beating Raleon with it, shouting obscenities and giving out threats.
"How could you lose!? Your car is tuned, his one ISN'T! You must be one really pathe... Oh," Kai turned his attention to Jerry who stood out of his car and approached them.
"It was tuned today, so it was probably to similar specs as your cars, just to be fair. Now, if you don't mind, I think we had a deal?" Jerry looked back at the Delta.
"(sigh) Yes we did, which car do you want?" Kai's look of worry grew a little.
"That Lancia Delta please," Jerry smiled.
Kai was reluctant to give away the keys, but he knew that he was under an agreement and a rule of his life. So he handed over the keys and smacked Raleon again with the stick. Jerry walked halfway back to the Delta before stopping and saying.
"You know what, Kai? Before I leave, I have one thing to say. Of all the people I've ever had to deal with, you are probably the most cruel, sad and pathetic of the lot. You beat your own colleagues for your own wrongs, and treat them like dirt. I'd say if both of these guys were to be honest, they probably hate you," Jerry couldn't wipe the smug smile off of his face as he realized how "badass" he felt.
But then Jerry heard a familiar sound, but one he has only ever heard in movies before. He turned around to see if his ears were correct, and they were... Jerry looked at Kai, and the gun that was pointing his way...
"I treat my men this way for good reason, I'm not a bad example. I show a perfect example of how DIRT. Should be treated," Kai aims at the ground near Jerry's feet and fires. The shot misses Jerry by millimeters.
"And if anyone is sad and pathetic, it's you. You come here, and get your confidence up, before insulting my entire clan... That is pathetic, now guys, if you don't mind... Take care of the young one," Kai stood back.
Around him more guns loaded. Kai smiled and looked around to immerse in the moment of his men standing for him, only for his smile to be wiped off of his face. The guns were faced directly towards Kai, and Kai froze.
"Guys, not me... Him, he insulted us, are we going to deal with that?" he remained frozen and waited to see what happens next...
"You know what Kai, the both of us have sacrificed a lot for you, we've sacrificed our dreams, families, and almost 10 years of our lives... We've almost died for you, and yet you still treat us the same, as if we've never done a good thing for you in our lives... It's time for a change, as we can't deal with it," Raleon said as he remained in the same standing position...
Kai tried to act quickly, he pulled hi gun towards Raleon but in a split second a gun shot from behind send the gun flying from Kai's hand, and sent Kai onto the ground.
"RUN!!" Kez shouted.
Everyone ran to their cars, Jack switching into the Golf's driver's seat, Jerry into the Delta, they all evacuated. All except for Kez, as he sat in his Mini Cooper, he reversed 30 meters and made a dash towards Kai, who had now stood up. He was making a run for it, in hope to escape Kez, but his attempts were a failure, Kai jumped in an attempt for not go under the Mini, but was still hit, and the collision sent Kai flying over the top of the Mini and onto the ground. Kez stopped next to Kai's struggling body.
"Is THIS what you wanted, HUH!?" Kez shouted as he pointed his gun at the defenseless Kai.
He fired two shots at Kai, and watched him. He watched as Kai's body stopped trembling, his eyes glazed over, and the blood mixed with the dirt he laid in... Kez looked around.
"And never shall he burden us again," Kez said as he drove away.
Meanwhile Jack and Jerry both sped in an attempt to get back to the apartment without being seen. Neither of the two were sure what they had witnessed, and didn't know if they had witnessed murder or not. Neither of them wanted to know, both knowing that the more they did know, the more it could hurt them in the future, in the case of being called in as witnesses, or suspects. Jack looked in his rear view mirror to see they were being followed by Raleon, so when they arrived at the apartment, they weren't sure what his intentions were. They ran into the building and locked the doors, and hid... In silence they waited.
"My driving work here is done, but I don't think my work is entirely done here," Jack said as he watched Jerry shaking as he sat under the table.
"Well, I think I may need your help, but really, you saved me back there. You worked hard to help me keep my car, but I had to be a smartass and cause all of that, it's my fault!" Jerry started to panic.
"Shut up, you didn't kill him, he killed himself by treating others like dirt... Calm down!" Jack threw the TV remote at Jerry, and the hit seemed to snap him back to reality.
"Well, you can have that Lancia Delta, you won it, not me," Jerry threw the keys over to Jack.
"Why the Delta?" Jack asked.
"Because I love Volkswagens, hence why I have a Golf," Jerry replied.
Jack looked over to the door, wondering if Raleon will find them or not. Suddenly Jack heard knocking on the door...
"Hello? It's Raleon, I want to apologize for the scare there... I'm not here to hurt you, Kez doesn't want to hurt you either. We actually want to thank you for helping us, Kai has been torturing us for almost 10 years, and we just needed the opportunity to end it, and you happened to be our saviour. Kai was just a power corrupted maniac, he must have learned it off his brother, Max Edge..." Raleon was interrupted.
The door swung open and Jack pulled Raleon in...
"What do you know about Max Edge?" Jack asked as he held Raleon to the wall...
"Let me go so I can tell you..." Raleon struggled...
Jack let him go but didn't keep his focus off of his movements...
"Well, I know that he lives in Europe now, he comes back to America on his usual murderous scheming business. He is currently here in America doing that now. I know some of the murders he has commited too for money. He was the cause for Jack Cytranear's downfall. Made loads off of his..." Raleon was interrupted again...
"I think Jack here would be aware of that already..." Jerry pointed at Jack and mouthed "he IS Jack Cytranear."
"Oh, Jack, now I have a name to add to that face. Nice to meet you," Raleon shaked Jack's hand and continued.
"He killed a man in Japan called Katsuo Takahashi, who was a rich businessman with a taste for speed, made millions off of him, and left him dead in a bush. No one found him for 3 weeks. And he killed a man around here recently named Brian Wilsborough, another businessman. He invited him to a high speed illegal street race at night. He put on motorbike safety gear along with all this extra padding before he got in, a sweating heap he must have been. He faked a spin, and then drove backwards around the track layout before jumping out the door and watching the two cars collide head on, killed the man instantly, again Edge made millions off of him... That's all I know," Raleon leaned on the wall.
"Well that's news to me. Some valuable information too," Jack in his head was desperate to get back try and get forgiveness from Diane now, but tried to hide it from Jerry and Raleon.
"Jack, here's my number. If you ever need a driver, or help with some business I'm at your service," Raleon handed Jack a card, and then Jack handed both Raleon and Jerry cards which had his number...
"Just if either of you get into trouble..." Jack smiled.
"However, I really must apologize, but I must get moving now," Jack walked towards the door.
"Really? Right now?" Jerry looked confused.
-----------------------------
That was rather action packed compared to what I usually do... I don't think there are any errors in there now, and keep in mind that the last section of the race and the rest of the chapter got rewritten three times, so I want to know if there's any change in quality, whether it be good or bad.
For this chapter I tried mixing my Gallery and my fan fic, hence why the camera angles are a little more ambitious and are edited, it would be cool to be getting some feedback on those too. Hint, hint.
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- 2,227
- Portland, Oregon
Good chapter mate. Sorry to hear about your computer, mine is four years old and needs a replacement soon. More frustratingly is that my PS3 is acting strange. Freezing during loading times or just random points in every game I've played.
I've tried safe mode but the options there don't help. Maybe I need to replace the Blu-Ray laser thingamobob for the second time.
I've tried safe mode but the options there don't help. Maybe I need to replace the Blu-Ray laser thingamobob for the second time.
~Turtle
- 7,184
- beyond down under
Thanks everyone. 
Jack kept his foot to the pedal, with only revenge on his mind. Though what he was rushing for he wasn't completely sure, maybe it was the fear of Edge finding out about his deed in off road racing again, or his chance at forgiveness. Though at the very back of his mind sat a thought that would almost freeze Jack's mind and make him turn back, but this thought continued to be overpowered by his other thoughts. Edge quickly rose into Jack's mind without even being seen, and Jack is afraid of what will happen if he comes into contact with him again. Having contact with the workers of Edge's brother was too close of contact for Jack, so he continues to drive, and very quickly finds himself back where he started a few days ago, with Diane, and her friends... She also needed to know the truth of her father, and Jack wouldn't rest until she knew.
Jack approached the house slowly and then the thought in the back of his mind pulled right to the front when he saw a familiar American V8 powered muscle car sitting at the house. He stopped behind it and was frozen for a moment, before his hope as forgiveness faded, he regained the mental strength to force himself from the Delta, and approach the house. Suddenly all he heard was the screaming, and he knew what was happening. He searched for anything he could use to hit Edge with, only finding a brick, and so he set into the house quietly and quickly through the back door, and upon entering the lounge saw the man. The man who took it all away, and the man who ruined his life... Only anger and revenge was in Jack's mind now... He looked as Diane and Andy were both cornered by the weapon wielding money thief, and then set on his act.
"EDGE!!!"
Jack threw the brick as hard as he could at Edge, and it hit him directly in the arm, Edge shouted and turned to Jack, and Jack saw Edge's smile, and Edge almost seemed happy to see Jack.
"Oh, do you want me to finish you off too, hmm?"
Edge's image as being a calm man was not evident at all as his facial expressions only shouted insane. Edge approached Jack, who now had nothing to protect himself with, so quickly ran back to the kitchen, grabbed a knife and returned in no time at all, by this time, Edge was just making his move of murder, so Jack shouted again and ran towards him. Edge turned and knew he wouldn't be able to stop Jack, so he ran. Straight for the nearest exit, and Jack followed him, running faster than he believe he ever could before seeing the Corvette speed away from the house... Jack threw the knife into the ground and dropped to the ground in frustration... He knew he wouldn't catch Edge now, there's no way a Delta could keep up with a Corvette. Jack stood up again and walked back inside, looking at Diane and Andy who were both frozen in fear. Jack approached them, and Diane suddenly stood up and just hugged Jack in a form of torture-like hold.
"I'm sorry," she simply cried.
Andy stood up too and walked over onto the couch, and Jack still couldn't move due to the death grab.
"Who was that man?" Diane asked as she released Jack.
"Your father's killer," Jack said as he watched Diane walk over to the couch.
"What!?" Diane suddenly shouted and flicked around to face Jack.
"Let me tell you a story, you remember what I told you the other day, about how Max Edge ruined me?" Jack explained.
"Um, yeah?" Diane seemed extremely suspiciouis again.
"Well our stories are connected, while I was on "business" I did a race, and possibly experienced murder. The man I think did the murder I didn't see again, but his long time workmate, I did. He explained to me that the man who was murdered was Max Edge's brother, and went on telling me information about Max Edge. He kills for money, he studies someone, finds their faults and exploits them in such a way that he can take all they have ever owned, and then kill their family. No one knows why he kills the family, but still. He did the same to your father because he was wealthy, and Edge wanted to build his wealth. He dragged him into a street race against your father's will, and took him out, taking all the money, and all the possessions. The same as he did to me to an extent. I heard he was in America on business, and feared he may come for you... Luckily I was right, and got here just in time." Jack sat down on the floor by the wall.
"So he killed my father?" Diane still hadn't stopped her tears. Who could upon hearing news like that?
"Yes, he did. And we need to take him down," Jack looked to both Diane and Andy.
Andy looked completely lost in the entire matter, and just continued to listen, and Diane thought for a moment.
"We're going to take him down, and do whatever we can to do it," Diane stood up with the same sense of revenge Jack had been hit with earlier before sitting back down again.
"We're going to have to do some street racing if we're to do this..." Jack added.
"🤬 I don't care, if it's for my father I will do it..." Diane rose her voice.
"First, we need to get out of here. We can't stay here any longer because Edge knows we're here. Where can we go, and where on earth is Dillan?" Jack asked as he looked at the other two.
They just looked cluelessly and remained silent.
"Dillan is off with his buff buddies on some sort of trip," Andy answered.
Jack looked amazed at Andy speaking, not only saying a few words, but directing them at him... He went back on topic.
"Okay, well we have to figure out something, we can't risk Edge coming back. We need to contact Dillan and organize to meet somewhere. We're going to have to stay on the move, or Edge will locate us. He will recognize your 330i, chances are he knows all the details on your particular car, and soon on mine. He will have his contacts on the lookout, so we can't ever rest until we've completed our task, is that clear?" Jack's look was dead serious, any more serious and all children in the world would burst into tears.
The two of them just nodded to Jack, and Jack's shoulders dropped back down.
"Good, now let's go. He have to pack up and get ready to leave," Jack said as he stood up.
"But it's 4 AM, can't we sleep first?" Diane asked.
"No, he'll be back before then and we'll all be dead, we have to move as soon as possible, now pack up only things you need. Let's go," Jack walked back into the house to get packing, and the others followed.
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Not quite an axe wielding maniac, but a psycho nonetheless. It's a short chapter but some more action occuring again.
Edit: Wow, I'm loving this reaction, it makes me feel like... Uuuh, I'm not actually all that sure if I'm honest.
Chapter 5: Living Bad Dreams
Jack kept his foot to the pedal, with only revenge on his mind. Though what he was rushing for he wasn't completely sure, maybe it was the fear of Edge finding out about his deed in off road racing again, or his chance at forgiveness. Though at the very back of his mind sat a thought that would almost freeze Jack's mind and make him turn back, but this thought continued to be overpowered by his other thoughts. Edge quickly rose into Jack's mind without even being seen, and Jack is afraid of what will happen if he comes into contact with him again. Having contact with the workers of Edge's brother was too close of contact for Jack, so he continues to drive, and very quickly finds himself back where he started a few days ago, with Diane, and her friends... She also needed to know the truth of her father, and Jack wouldn't rest until she knew.
Jack approached the house slowly and then the thought in the back of his mind pulled right to the front when he saw a familiar American V8 powered muscle car sitting at the house. He stopped behind it and was frozen for a moment, before his hope as forgiveness faded, he regained the mental strength to force himself from the Delta, and approach the house. Suddenly all he heard was the screaming, and he knew what was happening. He searched for anything he could use to hit Edge with, only finding a brick, and so he set into the house quietly and quickly through the back door, and upon entering the lounge saw the man. The man who took it all away, and the man who ruined his life... Only anger and revenge was in Jack's mind now... He looked as Diane and Andy were both cornered by the weapon wielding money thief, and then set on his act.
"EDGE!!!"
Jack threw the brick as hard as he could at Edge, and it hit him directly in the arm, Edge shouted and turned to Jack, and Jack saw Edge's smile, and Edge almost seemed happy to see Jack.
"Oh, do you want me to finish you off too, hmm?"
Edge's image as being a calm man was not evident at all as his facial expressions only shouted insane. Edge approached Jack, who now had nothing to protect himself with, so quickly ran back to the kitchen, grabbed a knife and returned in no time at all, by this time, Edge was just making his move of murder, so Jack shouted again and ran towards him. Edge turned and knew he wouldn't be able to stop Jack, so he ran. Straight for the nearest exit, and Jack followed him, running faster than he believe he ever could before seeing the Corvette speed away from the house... Jack threw the knife into the ground and dropped to the ground in frustration... He knew he wouldn't catch Edge now, there's no way a Delta could keep up with a Corvette. Jack stood up again and walked back inside, looking at Diane and Andy who were both frozen in fear. Jack approached them, and Diane suddenly stood up and just hugged Jack in a form of torture-like hold.
"I'm sorry," she simply cried.
Andy stood up too and walked over onto the couch, and Jack still couldn't move due to the death grab.
"Who was that man?" Diane asked as she released Jack.
"Your father's killer," Jack said as he watched Diane walk over to the couch.
"What!?" Diane suddenly shouted and flicked around to face Jack.
"Let me tell you a story, you remember what I told you the other day, about how Max Edge ruined me?" Jack explained.
"Um, yeah?" Diane seemed extremely suspiciouis again.
"Well our stories are connected, while I was on "business" I did a race, and possibly experienced murder. The man I think did the murder I didn't see again, but his long time workmate, I did. He explained to me that the man who was murdered was Max Edge's brother, and went on telling me information about Max Edge. He kills for money, he studies someone, finds their faults and exploits them in such a way that he can take all they have ever owned, and then kill their family. No one knows why he kills the family, but still. He did the same to your father because he was wealthy, and Edge wanted to build his wealth. He dragged him into a street race against your father's will, and took him out, taking all the money, and all the possessions. The same as he did to me to an extent. I heard he was in America on business, and feared he may come for you... Luckily I was right, and got here just in time." Jack sat down on the floor by the wall.
"So he killed my father?" Diane still hadn't stopped her tears. Who could upon hearing news like that?
"Yes, he did. And we need to take him down," Jack looked to both Diane and Andy.
Andy looked completely lost in the entire matter, and just continued to listen, and Diane thought for a moment.
"We're going to take him down, and do whatever we can to do it," Diane stood up with the same sense of revenge Jack had been hit with earlier before sitting back down again.
"We're going to have to do some street racing if we're to do this..." Jack added.
"🤬 I don't care, if it's for my father I will do it..." Diane rose her voice.
"First, we need to get out of here. We can't stay here any longer because Edge knows we're here. Where can we go, and where on earth is Dillan?" Jack asked as he looked at the other two.
They just looked cluelessly and remained silent.
"Dillan is off with his buff buddies on some sort of trip," Andy answered.
Jack looked amazed at Andy speaking, not only saying a few words, but directing them at him... He went back on topic.
"Okay, well we have to figure out something, we can't risk Edge coming back. We need to contact Dillan and organize to meet somewhere. We're going to have to stay on the move, or Edge will locate us. He will recognize your 330i, chances are he knows all the details on your particular car, and soon on mine. He will have his contacts on the lookout, so we can't ever rest until we've completed our task, is that clear?" Jack's look was dead serious, any more serious and all children in the world would burst into tears.
The two of them just nodded to Jack, and Jack's shoulders dropped back down.
"Good, now let's go. He have to pack up and get ready to leave," Jack said as he stood up.
"But it's 4 AM, can't we sleep first?" Diane asked.
"No, he'll be back before then and we'll all be dead, we have to move as soon as possible, now pack up only things you need. Let's go," Jack walked back into the house to get packing, and the others followed.
------------------------
Not quite an axe wielding maniac, but a psycho nonetheless. It's a short chapter but some more action occuring again.
Edit: Wow, I'm loving this reaction, it makes me feel like... Uuuh, I'm not actually all that sure if I'm honest.
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- 7,184
- beyond down under
Edit: Fic rewritten in GT6 race reports
Chapter 6 - Departure
Chapter 6 - Departure
The Lancia Delta of Jack's and the BMW 330i of Diane's thundered down the highway in a rush, Jack kept his eye on the horizon, and the roads were barren in the dark hours of the morning. The group had radio's to contact between cars in the case of a problem, and they made the decision to keep the cars close.
"Jack, what about Dillan?" Diane asked through the radio.
"You guys need to contact him!" Jack answered.
"Andy tried ringing his cell phone, he isn't answering... And he isn't responding to texts." Diane said worryingly.
"That's because it's 5 AM," Jack's voice sounded slightly irritated.
"Oh right..." Diane kept quiet.
The group drove on as the sun rose behind them, the highway slowly gained more traffic as morning arose. The group decided to turn off the highway and head down the back roads. They stopped in a small town 150 miles away from home, and in a small fast food shop they ate breakfast.
"So what are we actually doing?" Diane asked Jack.
"Well... We're uh..." Jack struggled to find an answer.
Andy whispered something to Diane.
"What's he saying?" Jack asked.
"He says that you don't actually know." Diane smiled and laughed a little.
"But I do! ... It's just... Uh... We're..." Jack sat there and thought for a moment. "Well you see, we're... Going to stop Edge," Jack answered.
"That's not really a plan, it's a to do list," Diane laughed.
"Shut up," Jack replied defeatedly.
"Why don't we look for people who might know where he is?" Diane asked.
"If there is any way that we could do that, we would. But contacts with a serial killer who aren't going to kill us are uncommon!" Andy replied.
Jack sat there baffled at what Andy had just said.
"What?" Andy asked when he looked at the blank expression on Jack's face.
"Sorry, you talking is strange to me," Jack replied.
"I suggest that we get the police. They can track the licence plate, and then he can be found," Andy suggested.
"Why do that, when we have someone who could probably find Edge for us?" Jack asked.
"But we don't know..." Diane was interrupted.
"Yes we do... Well I do," Jack said confidentially.
"I thought you had given up the whole dodgy race driving thing?" Diane said as she started to frown.
"Well, to be honest. You're not going to like it, I was doing some street racing..." Jack answered.
"Are you 🤬 kiddi..." Diane was interrupted again.
"Aaaah bububububutt! Let me explain, alright? ... This kid accidentally got into a dodgy pink slip deal, and he didn't have the money to lose his car in a silly race. So I did the race for him because he couldn't win on his skill alone. That's how I got the Delta." Jack said as he pointed out the window at his Lancia.
Diane still had difficulty not being annoyed.
"How does that help us?" She asked angrily.
Andy gave Jack a facial screwed his face to tell Jack to be careful or Diane will get really angry.
"Well, in that race we met someone who has connections with Edge. He's a good guy who just succeeded to get out of the dodgy business. He was sort of pressured into it. His name is Raleon." Jack said as he got out his cell phone.
"I'll ring him." Jack dialed some numbers into the phone.
"Hey... Hey, Raleon. It's Jack. My friends and I are in need of your help... Yeah? Sorry, I had to rush, I had to save a few lives... Yeah... Edge was... Yep, that's right. Well, we're in a small town, 150 miles away from where we were before... Yeah, that's the town... Anyway, would you be able to contact Edge at all? If so, could you try and get information on what and where he is going over the course of the next month or two? You could? Thanks a million, Raleon. See ya another time, bye." Jack ended the call and looked back to Diane and Andy.
Andy looked amused, and Diane still looked annoyed.
"Heh... What?" Jack said uncomfortably.
"You could have just doomed us..." Andy stated.
"How?" Jack asked.
"By asking a favour from someone who works for a serial killer..." Diane added.
"We'll be fine. He's a good sort." Jack tried to assure the others.
"We still haven't heard from Dillan!" Diane cried out.
"He's probably still asleep. It's 7 AM..." Andy answered.
The three finished their breakfast and continued their drive away from home awaited a response from Raleon or Dillan... It was midday and still nothing from either, and it was making Diane and Andy worried. They had to swallow their fear as they raced on, and simply hope for the best.
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Edit: Fic rewritten in GT6 race reports
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