20 Ways To Scew With Telemarketers

[Acidman]

20 Ways To Scew With Telemarketers

I have to try some of these sometime.

 

[Jpec07]

Those are very original, and I've actually tried a variation of the "pop the question" one (more like "will you go out with me?")

 

[fiend]

And you are?
I'd love to hear more about why you are calling me, but I'm in the middle of dinner right now. Why don't you give me your home number so I can call and irritate you in the middle of your meal?

ahah, that's a good one

 

[Slick6]

acually what i like to do when one calls, is i say hello and while their talking turn the tv on to a fuzzy channel and then put the phone up to it, it usaully takes about 15 seconds and they hang up, quite fun and effective though

 

[cm108kph]

I miss making fun of them. PA has a Do-Not-Call list. No calls from them for a year or so.

 

[CDailey]

 

[Attila_Da_Hun]

No, say "hi" then say "wait there someone at the door" then go "who the **** are you!?" and knock something over and start screaming and make gurgling noises. then do whatever from there

 

[69Dodge_Charger]

I do alot of things but most recently one called and I let him do his sales pitch (lasted about 3 to 4 minutes) while every now and then I would say "Uh ha" or "Ok". Then I said "Well you know after all that I don't think I want to buy it because you have bored me to death", or something like that; then I hung up.

 

[U.N.A.M]

Nice:tup:

 

[toyomatt84]

Definitely going to throw the sales pitch for my chances of buying to the next telemarketer I get calling me. Maybe I'll throw in the cult thing for fun as well.

 

[2ez2KiLL]

lol i wanna get taken off the do not call list >.<

 

[slk308]

I've seen those before, but they're still funny

 

[DoZeRxXx]

the do not call list kinda suxorz. You know when they call and they say your last name rong. just say you never heard of them and they wont call for about 6 months

 

[audiracing]

I'm just going to stick to my favourite.
I'm want to buy your product then leave the phone sitting there.

 

[Mike Rotch]

I like that fake answering machine one.

 

[Idiot Racers]

Ever hear of women's lib?
My wife is especially perturbed when they ask for the "Man of the House." So she then starts talking in hushed tones and saying, "Oh, no sir. The Master isn't here. He keeps me locked down here in the basement when he goes out, so I can't check for him now."

What's it worth?
"Now before I listen to your pitch, there are a few things we need to cover. My minimum rate for listening is $35 an hour. Of course, I can offer you upgrades that give you additional benefits, as well as a greater chance that I may buy what you are selling. The deluxe package is $55 per hour and offers a 2 percent chance of purchase, and the super-deluxe package is $75 per hour, and offers a 3 percent chance of purchase. Now before we get to that, I will need you to send in an application as well as a minimal application fee of $55. You will also need to include with your payment a $35 payment for a credit report. Once your credit has been approved, I will be able to accept your non-refundable good-faith security deposit, which I require, of $100. After closing, and you have paid my standard closing costs of $250, we will then be able to proceed with your sales pitch. Can I sign you up?"

 

[DrIft ProJeCt R]

 

[Party for GT4]

My dad just speaks them with a Serbian accent (my grandad was really Czech) and makes out he doesn't understand them. I remember when they asked if he wanted double glazing and he said he already had Windows 98 and he asked another if he could get his shed double-glazed!

 

[GilesGuthrie]

I like to let them talk for a while, then tell them I'm not interested.

We're ex-directory, so we don't get many calls. We do get quite a lot of people visiting the house though, which is annoying.