appearance (rant)

[psonefreak]

I just got home from work, I'm not happy, and I'm gonna speak my mind.

About Appearance

I had noticed this before, but I do now even more so because of work. I work at Food World (a grocery store if you didn't know) stocking shelves three nights a week from 12 Midnight til 8 AM. The job isn't bad, but that's not what I'm talking about. In this job, we not only have to put out tons of new stock, but we have to "front up" and "block" the old stuff so it looks good. I mean its a friggin food store, nobody gives a damn if it isn't perfectly organized in lil columns or if they have to reach two more inches for somthing. But its always gotta "look good".

Also, I see this a lot with cars. Not only do people buy cars that are pleasing to look at (usually..) but the dealers try to sell cars as "sleek" and "sporting" and other appearance-related stuff. Yeah some people actually buy the car because of what its got under its hood, but of the people I know, 95% of them bought the car they have because they thought it looked good.

And the last part of the appearance thing. The opposite sex. Somtimes you'll be walkin in the mall and see a hot girl and be like . But, the person could be a total b!tch inside. One of my friends dated (still does...) this girl that treats him like crap. He just stays with her because she looks good. And like me, I'm overweight (i.e. fat) and back in HS none of the girls at my school would even talk to me because of it. And, as the few people who know me as who I am, I'm a good person and sweet to girls and I don't treat them like a peice of meat. Out of all the girls I asked out that went to my school, 100% said no. Two of them even told me to my face I was too fat to even be friends with them. Used to it hurt, but now it just pisses me off. And no I'm not looking for sympathy or anything, I got a gf that I like a lot and she likes me despite my outside.

IMO people shouldn't judge everything by their appearance. Some things you would (i.e. photgraphs) but its a small % of things that you should.

 

[milefile]

When I was in high school I had a serious case of acne the whole damned time. It was as bad as it gets. I had no confidence because of it and the few times I had the nerve to ask a girl out, they said no. One even laughed in my face (ouch). Then one day this girl liked me... but guess what. She didn't look good enough for me.

Pretty ironic.

Eventually the zits went away and high school is now fifteen years passed.

Glad you found someone PS. I did too. People who see deeper than the skin are less abundant than those who can't or won't, but they find eachother even if it takes a while longer.

Imagine what those shallow girls marriages will be like, a lifetime of never really being known; husbands who value breasts more than a conversation or a loving gesture will follow the breasts no matter whose they are.

I gotta see Shallow Hal.

 

[LoudMusic]

Well, milefile started a thread over here about appearance. It's a marketing thing. You don't base your existance on it, but you do generate first impressions from appearance. That's what it's there for. You look at someone and think to yourself, "does this look like a person that will be a good friend", or look at a product and decide if it's worth investigating.

But society is dumb. That's one thing you'll have to come to realize. People base more than they should by appearance alone. It's stereotyping on appearance.

We have two conflicting sayings ...

"Don't judge a book by it's cover"
"A picture is worth a thousand words"

You can't live your life by both ... and it's easier for most people to just look at someone and say to themselves, "eh, they're not worth the attempt at friendship." Same goes for items on a shelf.

But the appearance that you're refering to about products on a shelf is important. No one wants to shop in a cluttered store. If everything is neat and orderly, it gives a better initinal impression. It says "Hey, we've got our stuff together here! We care about our customers!". So it's a good thing, man, and you're getting paid for it so don't complain too much (:

 

[Gil]

It all goes back to my favorite saying about appearance.
"Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone"
On first glance that seems to mean if you look bad it's like that to the core.
But as you think about it: "Pretty people" are often only pretty on the outside. But the core is not much to be around.
We all eventually grow up and see that inner beauty is what is important.
Julia Roberts was not impressed by Lyle Lovett's looks. Lyle is a "homely man" that is incredibly funny, talented, and a pretty deep dude if you listen to him between songs and to his music.
Yes, unfortunately the world has quite a few shallow people in it.
But it helps the rest of us to remember that they never really find true happiness. You see the veneer, not what's underneath.
The "Pretty people" that think/thought they are better than everyone else in High School only have a few more years to be Appearance based. Those of us that look at the essence of the indvidual rather than only the appearance will be happier with life in the long run. So take heart.

 

[Rossell]

I am getting called gay so much a couple of weeks ago I started to believe it.

I have a serious case of acne, and I am starting to gain an attitude problem I am not proud of.

It's horrible. How did you guys get past it?

And don't be afraid to tell me you've been suicidal. I have.

 

[milefile]

Originally posted by Rossell
I am getting called gay so much a couple of weeks ago I started to believe it.

I have a serious case of acne, and I am starting to gain an attitude problem I am not proud of.

It's horrible. How did you guys get past it?

And don't be afraid to tell me you've been suicidal. I have.

My school tried to send me home because they thought I had chicken pox. That's how bad my acne was. Believe it or not, there are girls and women out there who can see past acne.

I hate to say it but there are two ways to get past acne. Age or a dermatologist. Mine just miraculously went away when I was about 17 or 18, and it happened really fast. I saw people I hadn't seen in only a month or so and they were like "your face! It's clear!" At the end of the day you will be more seasoned than others for your suffering.

Don't kill yourself. I spent my teen years miserable. I don't think I was smart enough then to kill myself. Later, in my twenties I had a serious depression and wanted to die. I fell asleep in a pitch black hotel room in the middle of the day, 2000 miles from home. I had a crazy sick dream and when I woke up I just wanted to die. It only lasted for a short time but I can say that to have been there and been back is an experience I am more indebted to than almost anything else.

 

[Giancarlo]

It's the way society works, and it'll probably never change. Which really sucks.

 

[Sage]

Originally posted by psonefreak
I work at Food World (a grocery store if you didn't know) stocking shelves three nights a week from 12 Midnight til 8 AM. The job isn't bad, but that's not what I'm talking about. In this job, we not only have to put out tons of new stock, but we have to "front up" and "block" the old stuff so it looks good. I mean its a friggin food store, nobody gives a damn if it isn't perfectly organized in lil columns or if they have to reach two more inches for somthing. But its always gotta "look good".

Well, like what's been said, people will be more likely to shop at a store that makes things nice to look at and easy to get. It's the same thing with a lot of stores/products these days... for example, which software (that does the exact same thing) would you prefer: The one where the toolbar is organized nicely and has all of the most-used functions within easy reach, or the one that has butt-ugly icons that are distributed in random places?

Also, I see this a lot with cars. Not only do people buy cars that are pleasing to look at (usually..) but the dealers try to sell cars as "sleek" and "sporting" and other appearance-related stuff. Yeah some people actually buy the car because of what its got under its hood, but of the people I know, 95% of them bought the car they have because they thought it looked good.

Fact is, the great majority of people use cars at transportation... they truly don't care about what's inside, and I, quite frankly, don't blame them... why the heck do they need to care about what's inside? So, since that's not a concern for them, them style is, and rightfully so... a woman would rather have the prettier purse rather than the one with an extra small pocket inside, right?

And the last part of the appearance thing. The opposite sex. Somtimes you'll be walkin in the mall and see a hot girl and be like . But, the person could be a total b!tch inside. One of my friends dated (still does...) this girl that treats him like crap. He just stays with her because she looks good. And like me, I'm overweight (i.e. fat) and back in HS none of the girls at my school would even talk to me because of it. And, as the few people who know me as who I am, I'm a good person and sweet to girls and I don't treat them like a peice of meat. Out of all the girls I asked out that went to my school, 100% said no. Two of them even told me to my face I was too fat to even be friends with them. Used to it hurt, but now it just pisses me off. And no I'm not looking for sympathy or anything, I got a gf that I like a lot and she likes me despite my outside.

IMO people shouldn't judge everything by their appearance. Some things you would (i.e. photgraphs) but its a small % of things that you should.

Yes, you are certainly right in this area... I've had fat friends, skinny friends, Asian friends, black friends, short friends, tall friends, zit-faced friends, clear-faced friends, strange-looking friends, etc... I think one of the greatest things in life is getting to know someone personally.

I think that that's why message boards such as this have such a great appeal... we don't have a clue how the person behind the screename looks, so we can't judge them by that. :thumbsup:

 

[Ryan2]

I'm one of the rare few who couldn't give 2 s**ts about appearance. I have to admit, my girlfriend at the moment is well, a little overweight. Not fat, just overweight. She's like that on the outside, but inside she is the sweetest girl I've ever met. I've never judged a book by its cover, that's the way the world should work. Beauty is only skin-deap.

 

[Pupik]

Originally posted by psonefreak
I work at...(a grocery store if you didn't know)...In this job, we not only have to put out tons of new stock, but we have to "front up" and "block" the old stuff so it looks good...I mean its a friggin food store, nobody gives a damn if it isn't perfectly organized in lil columns or if they have to reach two more inches for somthing. But its always gotta "look good".

Trust me, this is something that people do notice. If customers can't find Item X because it's in the back, they won't bother to look for it. They'll go to another store to get it. And as long as they are there to buy Item X, why not buy Product Y and Impulse Buy Z as long as I'm here? I think you see where this is going.

I worked for Publix Supermarkets for several years, and we beat the snot out of the reigning Winn Dixie in the past 20 years because we had a cleaner, neater store, and nicer personnel who actually own part of the company. I don't think it's biased to enjoy shopping at a neater, better organized supermarket...just a word of warning to you Food World guys!

Also, I see this a lot with cars. Not only do people buy cars that are pleasing to look at (usually..)...people I know, 95% of them bought the car they have because they thought it looked good.

Remember that many people buy cars that are status symbols, or what really seems to the reason now: buying an image. I don't see all that many Nissan Xterras or Jeep Cherokees with mud or dirt on the sides, despite the image of a hard-working and hard-playing driver potrayed in their advertisements. Hey, I even feel a little less "plastic" when my CR-V has a couple of dirt marks!

Looks are important to new car sales, believe it or not. People do judge the outside of a car from a distance; despite performance numbers, you all still have to go 55 whan a cop is behind you. Nothing wrong with having a giant-killer car that isn't exactly the latest in car design theory.

...Two of them even told me to my face I was too fat to even be friends with them. Used to it hurt, but now it just pisses me off. And no I'm not looking for sympathy or anything, I got a gf that I like a lot and she likes me despite my outside....

The best of people don't judge character by their appearances. The most pathetic thing I see around here in S. FL is the number of men and women who can't seem to grow old gracefully. What a sad, sad sight it is to see a 45-year old man dress and look like he's 18 or 21. Just as woeful to see a 40-year-old woman spend thousands on plastic surgery and dress like a high-school girl.

These are likely people who looked "picture perfect" when they were younger, their marraiges failed (or never occurred), and are willing to look ridiculous to re-claim their glory days. Sad, indeed.

 

[Vasco]

Most people do buy their cars for the looks unfortunately, but my dad only bought the car because it has LPG and 2.0 litre economy, which is really good because he travels about 100km a day.

 

[GilesGuthrie]

Originally posted by milefile
Don't kill yourself. I spent my teen years miserable. I don't think I was smart enough then to kill myself. Later, in my twenties I had a serious depression and wanted to die. I fell asleep in a pitch black hotel room in the middle of the day, 2000 miles from home. I had a crazy sick dream and when I woke up I just wanted to die. It only lasted for a short time but I can say that to have been there and been back is an experience I am more indebted to than almost anything else.

I've been here too. Not in such an extreme way as milefile described, but close. I used to see everyone happy, and I was just miserable, I thought there was something inherently wrong with me as a person, and that I wouldn't be able to fix it. This pitched me into a depression that was just the pits.

Eventually, I decided to simply not care about anyone else. It was a high-risk strategy, and I was pretty objectionable at the time, but it seemed to work. The thing was that in spite of trying not to care about anyone or anything, I actually did, so I was depressed about how nasty I was being to people. I gradually modified my behaviour, cutting out all the bad things I could see me doing, and then I got happier and happier. As this happened, I seemed to attract people (not just sexually, but as a fun person to be with). I started to be able to make people laugh, but not through being cruel to/about anyone. I started to help people, just because I wanted to.

I'm pretty content at the moment, but in the words of U2, for me ambition is biting the nails of success - I'm always looking forward, always trying to do bigger and better things, which is affecting my wife as she's looking for some consolidation, while I'm at my most driven. I actually like the fact that my brain just never, ever stops thinking.

So between 19 & 23 I went through a pretty black, bleak time. It was tough, and I was really wondering what on earth the point was. But it seems the point was that if you don't see how bad it can get, you can never have any appreciation of how good it currently is. I was truly a bad person, and I've done a lot of growing up since then. I wouldn't want to go back, but I wouldn't have missed it for the world.

 

[1X83Z]

Originally posted by youth_cycler

Yes, you are certainly right in this area... I've had fat friends, skinny friends, Asian friends, black friends, short friends, tall friends, zit-faced friends, clear-faced friends, strange-looking friends, etc... I think one of the greatest things in life is getting to know someone personally.

It's a good thing nowadays. I was a normal, white, 14-17-year-old when I went to high school, and got quite a bit of discrimination from the other students, mainly because there was a fairly tight community where I grew up, and if you weren't a native islander, you weren't accepted - the problem was the size of our class: everyone had to get to know everyone else. And when we did, we all put aside stupid petty appearance differences and took the time to get to know each other. The people who didn't - and were considered popular in freshman year - became outcasts by senior year.

 

[1X83Z]

Originally posted by milefile


Don't kill yourself. I spent my teen years miserable. I don't think I was smart enough then to kill myself. Later, in my twenties I had a serious depression and wanted to die. I fell asleep in a pitch black hotel room in the middle of the day, 2000 miles from home. I had a crazy sick dream and when I woke up I just wanted to die. It only lasted for a short time but I can say that to have been there and been back is an experience I am more indebted to than almost anything else.

When I went to college, I had to move some 10,000 miles (more, probably - I can't remember the exact number) away from my family, leave all my friends, and actually move in with someone before I could even legally drink. The proposition scared the absolute crap out of me - even though I'd wanted to go to college far away for years.

I became depressed not having family around, especially with my strong reservations about family (even at 18). My schoolwork lagged, but I decided for winter break one year to go be totally alone - I drove somewhere with a lot of meaning to me and did a lot of thinking and decided, in the end, that I was in the true prime of my life and I should make the most of it. I've been doing it since.

 

[1X83Z]

Originally posted by pupik
personnel who actually own part of the company.

This principle is throwing my city and state into a major depression. Remember, Chicago is the principal hub for the infamous United Airlines; more people work for United here than anywhere else. I'm proud to not own a cent of my over-valued lackey company!

 

[Pupik]

Yeah, but getting two of the airliners hijacked and crashed certainly doesn't help morale or help consumers make travel decisions.

Of which none of it was even remotely UAL's fault, I'd hazzard. However, it sure can't be helping the company as a whole. Shareholders see the writing on the wall...

 

[1X83Z]

Originally posted by pupik


Of which none of it was even remotely UAL's fault, I'd hazzard.

Well, UAL is too incompetent to hire half-decent security screeners. September 11 was most definitely airport security's fault.

 

[milefile]

Originally posted by M5Power


Well, UAL is too incompetent to hire half-decent security screeners. September 11 was most definitely airport security's fault.

This thread has gone way off topic but I wanted to respond to this.

Yeah, on Seprember 11th, 2001 airport security sceeners were a joke. But I think they have improved since then since they now make a living wage.

But I don't think 9/11 was "definitely airport security's fault." There were a lot of factors in play, not the least of which being the government's failure to keep up on intelligence and cooperate between agencies.

 

[Rossell]

9/11 was a combination of many different factors, not least in that security screeners probably thought the AK47 concealed in a bag was a kids toy.

But it had many different factors like Bush's misunderestimation.

Lets leave it at that eh? It was an event that shouldn't have happened and this thread has gone way off topic.

 

[1X83Z]

Originally posted by milefile



But I don't think 9/11 was "definitely airport security's fault." There were a lot of factors in play, not the least of which being the government's failure to keep up on intelligence and cooperate between agencies.

But there's only one constant. Even if the U.S. government had been able to keep up on intelligence, they can't track every wannabe-situation and expect something to happen. The government simply doesn't have the manpower or technology.

The airport screeners, on the other hand, do. They were our first and last line of total defence, and because of one minor mistake - their brains not being large enough - they killed like 3000 people.

 

[Rossell]

M5Power - its 1 year and 4 odd months since that day. I think its best we just leave the subject of 9/11 now. It was a terrible act which muct be forgotten for the world to move on no matter what other people say.

My advice is to let go.

 

[1X83Z]

First off, I like you telling me how to feel - it's a necessary step on an Internet message board. Of course, you make the judgement that I haven't "let go."

Also, I suggest that you only make statements like the one preceding this post when I am talking directly to you.

 

[KosmikFool]

Damn. Some of you people have some really bad issues (I mean that in a concerned way, not in a funny way). I mean, I'm 13 and am very popular in school and I'm not overweight nor do I have acne but I do have problems. Not quite the same as yours but problems. You guys should just deal with them in an adult manner; suicide is definetly NOT the way to go...I mean, popularity and looks aren't everything.

I mean, I'm the best looking guy in the school. But I get a lot of dates. I've been turned down and sometimes, I thought it WAS because of looks. But it was probably just because that person didn't know me well enough. Some, erm.."bigger" guys at our school get plenty of dates. And they aren't evewn the most popular people in school.

So just focus on whats good in your life. Thats my two cents.

Peace,
-Kosmik