My Mom Has Cancer! (Need Advice)!

  • Thread starter Chris30
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Absolutely crazy.
What is? Anyways, thank you guys for the advice but it's really my mom's decision and the doctor's what they decide to do. I'm just supporting and loving her every step of the way. Please keep praying though and sending positive vibes. Thank you for the support, at least you all care more than my unsupportive grandparents. I never thought this would happen, but I got fooled. I need to step up and be the man I'm supposed to be.
 
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Absolutely crazy.

I think it works that way mainly because the most common way to wind up in the ER is through a car accident. If you snap your leg in half, you'll need to be admitted to be put back together in the morning. Health plans will concede admissions like these because it's the auto insurance that will be the primary payor for the incurred medical expenses. But, of course, it leaves an open door for people to game the system. The hospital loses money but that's the trade-off they make in exchange for sovereign immunity.
 
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What is? Anyways, thank you guys for the advice but it's really my mom's decision and the doctor's what they decide to do. I'm just supporting and loving her every step of the way. Please keep praying though and sending positive vibes. Thank you for the support, at least you all care more than my unsupportive grandparents. I never thought this would happen, but I got fooled. I need to step up and be the man I'm supposed to be.
The main thing you will have to do is to be there to support your mom whatever her decision she chooses.
 
Praying for you and your ma, Chris. Stay strong.

Lean on the community some more if you need help, looks like some members here are pretty well versed on the US medical system.
 
What is? Anyways, thank you guys for the advice but it's really my mom's decision and the doctor's what they decide to do. I'm just supporting and loving her every step of the way. Please keep praying though and sending positive vibes. Thank you for the support, at least you all care more than my unsupportive grandparents. I never thought this would happen, but I got fooled. I need to step up and be the man I'm supposed to be.
I've lived in the UK all my life so the thought of having to do that to access care is really sad. Good luck and keep us posted.
 
I've lived in the UK all my life so the thought of having to do that to access care is really sad. Good luck and keep us posted.
Having lived in the UK with the NHS and with for profit health care here in Thailand, I can honestly say I prefer the latter. That said, the medical care here is top tier, like 4th in the world or something.
 
Hey everyone, I have good news, my mom spent three hours at her appointment Thursday with the oncologist, she is nice, the doctor gave her a hug because we have no support plus my mom has been through a lot, she will turn 55 next June. Anyways, they did some more extensive testing, and found out that she has an 18-inch tumor/mass in her stomach/gall bladder, the size of a basketball. The oncologist started a treatment plan for her. Next Saturday she has to have a biopsy done to start the chemotherapy. She has to go to the Cancer center three times every three weeks to do chemotherapy. It's the only way of shrinking the mass so the doctors/nurses can remove it in the ER. I will go stay with her, so I'll be away for a few days. However I'll bring my laptop to the ER so I can update you guys on how she's doing.

I'll have to step up and be the man of the house after her surgery because I'll have to help her get up, get her food/supplies and get any packages in that we order. So my Playstation time will have to be curbed.
 
Hey everyone, I have good news, my mom spent three hours at her appointment Thursday with the oncologist, she is nice, the doctor gave her a hug because we have no support plus my mom has been through a lot, she will turn 55 next June. Anyways, they did some more extensive testing, and found out that she has an 18-inch tumor/mass in her stomach/gall bladder, the size of a basketball. The oncologist started a treatment plan for her. Next Saturday she has to have a biopsy done to start the chemotherapy. She has to go to the Cancer center three times every three weeks to do chemotherapy. It's the only way of shrinking the mass so the doctors/nurses can remove it in the ER. I will go stay with her, so I'll be away for a few days. However I'll bring my laptop to the ER so I can update you guys on how she's doing.

I'll have to step up and be the man of the house after her surgery because I'll have to help her get up, get her food/supplies and get any packages in that we order. So my Playstation time will have to be curbed.
That's....very, very big.
 
Very sorry to hear about your situation. Both of my parents have recent been diagnosed, my father with prostate and my mother with kidney cancer. The doctors will be the ones who will know what is best medically, the best thing you can do, is be there for your mum, be available to look after her when she's having her treatment/after surgery and support whatever decisions she makes.

It's OK to do research, but different people and different forms of cancer affect people differently and there are a lot of variables at play. IMO, the best things are to be prepared for how the treatment and surgery will likely impact your mum and plan ahead what assistance she might need during her recovery period.
 
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My mom went to the doctor Friday morning and they did some CT scans and tests and found two big masses in her stomach/bladder, one was 5-inches and the other was a little smaller than that
they did some more extensive testing, and found out that she has an 18-inch tumor/mass in her stomach/gall bladder, the size of a basketball.
I sincerely hope that your Mom is not in too much discomfort and gets the treatment she needs, but there's clearly something seriously wrong with how her treatment is being handled thus far. The quotes above cannot both be true, and hence someone has either made a monumental error (though it's hard to see how a basketball-sized tumor could possibly be missed in a CT scan) or the information you are getting is inaccurate.

turns out she has Stage 4 prostate cancer which is serious.
I'm also struggling with this comment to be honest. As others have pointed out, your Mom cannot possibly have prostate cancer (unless she was born male), but I also don't understand how someone goes to their doctor Friday and has a Stage 4 cancer diagnosis by Sunday - what was the basis of the cancer diagnosis, and who told you it was prostate cancer - or was this just a mistake on your account? The diagnosis part is baffling though, especially if it turns out that the person/people doing the analysis can somehow miss a tumor the size of a basketball.

Very sorry to hear about your situation. Both of my parents have recent been diagnosed, my father with prostate and my mother with kidney cancer. The doctors will be the ones who will know what is best medically, the best thing you can do, is be there for your mum, be available to look after her when she's having her treatment/after surgery and support whatever decisions she makes.
Sorry to hear that Dave - having aging parents is not easy, and I hope they both get the treatment they need.
 
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Fingers crossed they can treat it and remove it or at least keep her comfortable for a long time yet 🤞

My own mother had cancer twice when I was a kid - too young to remember it really. She had the all-clear for 20 years. It was Parkinsons and dementia that ended her life, and my dad now has it too. Docs gave him 2 weeks, but that was nearly a year ago 😳
 
Chris,

First of all, I'm depply sorry for this.

I've seen this disease happening within my family twice. The path ahead of you it's not an easy one.

However I gotta say to you that discovering cancer doesn't mean the battle ahead is already lost. It means the battle is only at the beginning.

If I could share anything else, I'd say be there with your Mom as much as possible. Be the support she needs during her treatment procedures and keep her spirits up. Not only the medical treatment is important but also the psychological aspect plays a big role. Be there for her in these two fronts.

Wish you all the strenght needed for this moment, and wish you Mother can beat cancer as well.
 
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Thank you everyone for the care and support, we really don't have a large support network where we live.
 
May I suggest taking notes at the next consultation so you have a less confusing picture.
That's what I'm gonna do, I'm bringing my laptop so I can type notes in an e-mail. I'll do everything I can to save my mother's life. You can bet money on it.
 
EDIT: My mom told me to fix my post, her tumor is 18 centimeters, not inches, she read my thread. She has to have a biopsy done on November 1st so they can finally determine what stage it is, and she told me it's ovarian cancer. It causes bloating, swelling of the legs/stomach, diarrhea, insomnia, and she has all of these symptoms. All we can do is wait, but I hope a miracle occurs. Maybe it's not too late for the doctors to stop it. Once it shrinks after the chemotherapy, they will remove the mass/tumor at the hospital but it will be a week stay for her to recover, and I will be with her (by her side).
 
Chris,

I know I'm very late to this discussion as I am just now getting back to GTPlanet after a couple month absence.

It seems you've gotten some great advice from the guys on the thread already. I'm glad you got things cleared up that it's ovarian cancer and not prostate cancer that your Mom is suffering from.

The only thing I can say about cancers is that different cancers have much different prognoses and treatment options. It's very good that you have gotten with an oncologist now, because as the others have said, these are the cancer specialists, and going through the ER isn't always the best option. It sounds like your Mom's treatment is in good hands now.

I would also echo the advice of the other guys here to take good and detailed notes about what the doctors tell you, but it sounds like you are already doing that.

Finally, I will tell you that cancer does indeed suck! My father passed away from prostate cancer several years ago, so I have an idea what you're going through.

On the personal side, I will tell you this. When I learned of my father's diagnosis, my initial reaction was both shock and sadness. In my father's case the disease had already progressed to the point that it was just about treating it the best they could with radiation and chemotherapy and then managing his quality of life. Unlike pancreatic cancer which moves and kills very quickly, prostate cancer moves more slowly, so in my case it was 2 years from my father's diagnosis until his death. That first year when he was still mostly healthy and not super weak yet, we took full advantage of it and had some of our best times together. I took him to New York to see the US Open Tennis tournament, and it was one the best memories I have with my Dad.

I don't want to sound macabre, I don't know your mother's prognosis, and even the oncologists will tell you estimating survival rates and duration is a fairly inexact science.

But the point I'm making is this. Don't worry about the pieces of this you can't control. Just be there for your Mom and pray for her well being. In the best case, maybe she can kick it, but if it really is stage 4 as you say, the prognosis may be similar to my father's. Ask your oncolgoist about this. The other thing to ask about is whether the cancer has mestastisized to other parts of her body. This has an impact on the treatability and prognosis.

Regardless, in the worst case if she has limited time left, savor every moment of it, and do your best to keep her comfortable. It sounds like you're already doing that.

Prayers are with you and your family.
 
Chris,

I know I'm very late to this discussion as I am just now getting back to GTPlanet after a couple month absence.

It seems you've gotten some great advice from the guys on the thread already. I'm glad you got things cleared up that it's ovarian cancer and not prostate cancer that your Mom is suffering from.

The only thing I can say about cancers is that different cancers have much different prognoses and treatment options. It's very good that you have gotten with an oncologist now, because as the others have said, these are the cancer specialists, and going through the ER isn't always the best option. It sounds like your Mom's treatment is in good hands now.

I would also echo the advice of the other guys here to take good and detailed notes about what the doctors tell you, but it sounds like you are already doing that.

Finally, I will tell you that cancer does indeed suck! My father passed away from prostate cancer several years ago, so I have an idea what you're going through.

On the personal side, I will tell you this. When I learned of my father's diagnosis, my initial reaction was both shock and sadness. In my father's case the disease had already progressed to the point that it was just about treating it the best they could with radiation and chemotherapy and then managing his quality of life. Unlike pancreatic cancer which moves and kills very quickly, prostate cancer moves more slowly, so in my case it was 2 years from my father's diagnosis until his death. That first year when he was still mostly healthy and not super weak yet, we took full advantage of it and had some of our best times together. I took him to New York to see the US Open Tennis tournament, and it was one the best memories I have with my Dad.

I don't want to sound macabre, I don't know your mother's prognosis, and even the oncologists will tell you estimating survival rates and duration is a fairly inexact science.

But the point I'm making is this. Don't worry about the pieces of this you can't control. Just be there for your Mom and pray for her well being. In the best case, maybe she can kick it, but if it really is stage 4 as you say, the prognosis may be similar to my father's. Ask your oncolgoist about this. The other thing to ask about is whether the cancer has mestastisized to other parts of her body. This has an impact on the treatability and prognosis.

Regardless, in the worst case if she has limited time left, savor every moment of it, and do your best to keep her comfortable. It sounds like you're already doing that.

Prayers are with you and your family.
Thank you, I just read all of what you typed. And I wish the same prayers for you and your family. I'll keep you all updated as soon as she gets her results from the biopsy. I will savor every moment of me/her. That's why I'm staying by her side at all times.
 
I'm so worried about my mom, I'm gonna keep sending her positive strong vibes to survive this cancer!
 
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Hey, my mom had her biopsy yesterday, we had to hire a nurse to take me/her to the hospital because my greedy family would not help pay for the fees, so we had to pay out of pocket which was expensive. But it was worth it to save her life. It's annoying wearing those face masks for hours because of the pandemic.
 
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We were there 8 hours, and those masks are a pain to wear, I hate this pandemic.
The masks aren't expressly because of the pandemic. It's because you're in the cancer ward where the patients are undoubtedly immunocompromised.

As for selling the PS4 for $100 and wanting to buy a blu ray player for somewhere in the $60 range (unless you get a used one on FB or something), that seems pretty counterproductive.

Bottom line - you need to get your spending sorted out. Eating out, which includes ordering in from Doordash, should be stopped completely. Economics 101 - if you don't have it, don't spend it.
 
Chris, to play games how about an emulator? They are usually free but wont match up to PS4 quality.
 
If I can't find another ps4, I'll have to switch to the ps5. What are some cheap models of it?
There aren't any. New PS5s sell for four times what you got for your PS4, and for a good long while there was a thing about used ones being more expensive due to how hard they were to get new - though this isn't the case now.

And should that be the priority? You just sold a games console for... odd financial reasons and you're immediately looking for advice on an upgrade?
 
@Famine Well she said that she would get me a ps5 once we get our savings bond cashed in, for now we got a DVD player. She once she has this surgery, she will have to sleep on the couch/recliner like I am. I feel bad for her, I know that will be painful when they remove that tumor, it spread up to her lungs some so it blocks some of her airways/breathing.

@W3H5 I don't usually deal with emulators, do you? Maybe this was for my own good too to get a break from gt7 for a good while.
 
@W3H5 I don't usually deal with emulators, do you? Maybe this was for my own good too to get a break from gt7 for a good while
I use them to play Pokémon GBA games on my phone and laptop. They can play PSP games too so there is probably a GT game available.
 
I have good news, they scheduled my mom's first chemotherapy appointment. It's November 21st at 10:30am. It will be a long process so I'll have to go with her. First they will do labs, then the doctor/pharmacist will come in and discuss what medicines she will need to take to help fight the cancer cells. And then the procedure will start at 1pm, it will last 5 hours. And then we'll have to drive back home. One of my cousins will help us drive back because she won't be able to. So, I hope all goes well. We'll have to bring a thermos bottle and snacks, they allow people to do that in the cancer center.
 
Hello, I watched your last replays and I thought you stormed the track, impressive once again. I do admire and enjoy watching y'all's hot laps everytime and I get entertained by it. I made my final decision. I'm gonna buy a new digital version (ps5), the one where you don't use the disc. I'm getting my Christmas gift early. I'm really excited about it, we won $1,000 off a lottery ticket the other day at a local gas station, so I'm gonna use $500 of it for my gift. So, once I'm ready I'll rejoin with you guys for the fun and competition. Being with friends and racing/having fun is what's important for this Gran Turismo world.
Sorry to be off topic, but I cannot walk past this as I usually walk past your posts. A few weeks ago you had to sell you PS4 to buy food (not for the first time). Your mother appears to be seriously ill and although it sounds as if insurance will pay medical costs, those tend to be just part of the expenses. I echo Famine's comment below - sort out your life priorities.
There aren't any. New PS5s sell for four times what you got for your PS4, and for a good long while there was a thing about used ones being more expensive due to how hard they were to get new - though this isn't the case now.

And should that be the priority? You just sold a games console for... odd financial reasons and you're immediately looking for advice on an upgrade?
 
@half_sourly I've moved your post into this thread so as not to derail the other thread, however I share your concerns.

@Chris30 In the interests of not derailing the TT thread (or any other thread other than this one), please keep discussion of this sub-topic (your PS5 purchase) to this thread only.
 
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