Ask him the steps of changing a car's oil, out loud, then say "I guess I'll see you driving around in an oil dripping (name car here, preferably '80s Cavalier or Taurus, something stupid like that) in 2(if you guys are 14) years."
Then, as he starts his revenge, before he can get a few words out, throw acid in his face.
Acid is great.
Better yet, tell him(when he gets a car) to take the airbox off because his car will be faster, then go out and find a dusty dirty road and go for a drive, see how long it'll go inhailing dust.
Or, alternatively(or at the same time), tell him that if he shifts his auto(which he's bound to have) manuely and into nuetral inbetween gears, that he'll get 150% more power and speed. Then go with him, and instruct him to start in nuetral, and rev it up, then, while revved, shift it to 1, get to the redline, shift it to nuetral, then to 2, then nuetral, then drive or whatever. Also, remind him that when he stops he should shift to park even if it's at a stop light, and not to shift out of park unless he's going to take off from a stop.
heh.