- 4,822
- Concord, CA
- kylehnat
I live in a driving-enthusiast's Hell. It's taken me three years to fully realize this, but it's happened, and it makes me depressed. I think I was just in denial, but yesterday it hit me: Olympia is a black hole for car enthusiasts. In fact, it may be the least driving-friendly place in the United States. Why? Here we go...
1)Wusses. I'd like to use a stronger word there, but this is a family site. Olympia drivers make Seattle drivers look like Los Angeles drivers. If you've never been to any of these cities, just know this: what I just said is a massive insult to the folks of Los Angeles. Defensive driving was meant to keep timid drivers out of trouble, but Olympians take this to a very dangerous and annoying limit. The speed limit is viewed as a forbidden land where only the brave dare to tread. Some of this is due to reason #2...
2)Cops. The State Patrol is headquartered here, and they make their presence known. Using the 5-over rule is dangerous, because everyone else is driving 5-under, and 63 in a 60-zone is a ticketable offense. Crime here is minor and infrequent, so the city cops of Olympia, Tumwater, and Lacey join in the speeding-ticket fun. Ever seen a 3-lane, one-way thoroughfare with a 25 mph speed limit? It's in Olympia, and it's enforced.
3)Priuses. Lots of Priuses...and lots of people who think that a Prius is the only car that anyone should ever buy. The Prius will save the earth, you know. The commercial told me so, and why would Toyota's marketing department lie?
4)Beaters. Lots of beaters. Olympia is home to the kinds of people who will spend $4000 to replace the transmission in their 1983 Dodge Aries...twice.
5)No Good Cars. People here consider a brand-spankin'-new Hyundai Accent a luxury car. I'm not kidding. It's rare to see anything more grand than a BMW 3-Series or Mercedes C-Class, and even those are an infrequent spot. I saw a new Aston Martin DB9 recently, but it immediately turned onto the freeway and headed back towards Seattle. Clearly not a resident.
6)No Car Scene. There aren't enough people here who enjoy cars to form clubs. I tag along with a Mazda club based in the Seattle area, an hour away.
7)Car Un-Enthusiasts. While sitting in the Nissan service department, a fellow patron saw my car outside, and commented that it was ugly and impractical. Thank you, sir. Your wife is a fat, ugly, bucktoothed slut. Another person called it a hatchback. I rest my case.
The only saving grace to this quagmire of automotive disdain is that there are several twisty, deserted, unpatrolled roads that serve as playgrounds to the very few car and bike enthusiasts here who actually like to have fun behind the wheel. Other than that, this place is a car 🤬-hole.
Think your city is worse? Prove it !
Let me know that I am not alone in my misery!
1)Wusses. I'd like to use a stronger word there, but this is a family site. Olympia drivers make Seattle drivers look like Los Angeles drivers. If you've never been to any of these cities, just know this: what I just said is a massive insult to the folks of Los Angeles. Defensive driving was meant to keep timid drivers out of trouble, but Olympians take this to a very dangerous and annoying limit. The speed limit is viewed as a forbidden land where only the brave dare to tread. Some of this is due to reason #2...
2)Cops. The State Patrol is headquartered here, and they make their presence known. Using the 5-over rule is dangerous, because everyone else is driving 5-under, and 63 in a 60-zone is a ticketable offense. Crime here is minor and infrequent, so the city cops of Olympia, Tumwater, and Lacey join in the speeding-ticket fun. Ever seen a 3-lane, one-way thoroughfare with a 25 mph speed limit? It's in Olympia, and it's enforced.
3)Priuses. Lots of Priuses...and lots of people who think that a Prius is the only car that anyone should ever buy. The Prius will save the earth, you know. The commercial told me so, and why would Toyota's marketing department lie?
4)Beaters. Lots of beaters. Olympia is home to the kinds of people who will spend $4000 to replace the transmission in their 1983 Dodge Aries...twice.
5)No Good Cars. People here consider a brand-spankin'-new Hyundai Accent a luxury car. I'm not kidding. It's rare to see anything more grand than a BMW 3-Series or Mercedes C-Class, and even those are an infrequent spot. I saw a new Aston Martin DB9 recently, but it immediately turned onto the freeway and headed back towards Seattle. Clearly not a resident.
6)No Car Scene. There aren't enough people here who enjoy cars to form clubs. I tag along with a Mazda club based in the Seattle area, an hour away.
7)Car Un-Enthusiasts. While sitting in the Nissan service department, a fellow patron saw my car outside, and commented that it was ugly and impractical. Thank you, sir. Your wife is a fat, ugly, bucktoothed slut. Another person called it a hatchback. I rest my case.
The only saving grace to this quagmire of automotive disdain is that there are several twisty, deserted, unpatrolled roads that serve as playgrounds to the very few car and bike enthusiasts here who actually like to have fun behind the wheel. Other than that, this place is a car 🤬-hole.
Think your city is worse? Prove it !