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Signs That You Drink Too Much, Part II
1. You spent Sunday night in jail for cow-tipping - your Oldsmobile.
2. Armed with fire extinguishers, your friends stood at a safe distance when you blew out your birthday candles.
3. Thanks to you, Jack Daniels stock is up 15 1/4 since Friday.
4. Boris Yeltsin called personally to ask you to slow down on the Stoli.
5. For some strange reason, there's salt on the rim of your basketball goal.
6. Your name is Otis and Sheriff Andy has brought you some of Aunt Bea's pancakes.
7. For the money you spent on Thunderbird, you could've bought the automobile.
8. You're now the proud inventor of the "Slim Jim" - Ultra Slim-Fast shakes made with Jim Beam.
9. Absolut wants to run an ad featuring a picture of your liver in the shape of a bottle.
10. The doorman asks for your I.D. just to see how long it'll take you to find your pants.
11. Worried friends call Monday morning to make sure you returned the goat.
12. You're now sober enough to realize "Drink Canada Dry" is a slogan and not a personal challenge!
Prt 2
1. You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
2. You have to hold on to the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
3. Your job starts to interfere with your drinking.
4. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
5. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
6. You sincerely believe alcohol is the elusive 5th food group.
7. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Convenience, or Coincidence?
8. Two hands and just one mouth now THAT'S a drinking problem.
9. Every woman you see has an exact twin.
10. You fall off the floor.
11. Hey, 5 beers have just as many calories as a burger, so forget dinner!
12. Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
13. I'm not drunk - you're just sober!!
14. You don't recognize your wife unless seen from the bottom of a glass.
15. You have a reserved parking space at the liquor store.
16. You've fallen and can't get up!
1. You spent Sunday night in jail for cow-tipping - your Oldsmobile.
2. Armed with fire extinguishers, your friends stood at a safe distance when you blew out your birthday candles.
3. Thanks to you, Jack Daniels stock is up 15 1/4 since Friday.
4. Boris Yeltsin called personally to ask you to slow down on the Stoli.
5. For some strange reason, there's salt on the rim of your basketball goal.
6. Your name is Otis and Sheriff Andy has brought you some of Aunt Bea's pancakes.
7. For the money you spent on Thunderbird, you could've bought the automobile.
8. You're now the proud inventor of the "Slim Jim" - Ultra Slim-Fast shakes made with Jim Beam.
9. Absolut wants to run an ad featuring a picture of your liver in the shape of a bottle.
10. The doorman asks for your I.D. just to see how long it'll take you to find your pants.
11. Worried friends call Monday morning to make sure you returned the goat.
12. You're now sober enough to realize "Drink Canada Dry" is a slogan and not a personal challenge!
Prt 2
1. You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
2. You have to hold on to the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
3. Your job starts to interfere with your drinking.
4. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
5. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
6. You sincerely believe alcohol is the elusive 5th food group.
7. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Convenience, or Coincidence?
8. Two hands and just one mouth now THAT'S a drinking problem.
9. Every woman you see has an exact twin.
10. You fall off the floor.
11. Hey, 5 beers have just as many calories as a burger, so forget dinner!
12. Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
13. I'm not drunk - you're just sober!!
14. You don't recognize your wife unless seen from the bottom of a glass.
15. You have a reserved parking space at the liquor store.
16. You've fallen and can't get up!
