Empty Feeling....

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McLaren

McLaren

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I don't know how to start this off, but here it goes anyways.

I've been thinking this over in my head for the past few days and finally decided to make a thread on it.

Lately, I've been feeling...rather moody. Not as in, frequent mood swings, but as in questioning life and why things are the way they are. Love is starting to play a big role too, which doesn't help too much. But for some reason, I'm only like this alone. When I'm with friends, I don't think of any of this.

So, here's my start.

Next month, I turn 19, the age past every teens' dream excluding 16. In June, I will have officially been out of high school for 1 year, and that's where the trouble starts.
Everyone says they just want those 12 years over with, but I want my high school days back for an ackward reason.

It's that I can't believe, I've been done with high school for an upcoming year and that I'm almost 19, the age you don't hear about. I feel...as if I have lost my childhood, my teen years and will now never be able to have those days back. But everyone says, "That's what college is for."
I guess if you have the opportunity to go to a nice, fancy one.

In reality, I feel as if something is still missing from my life. This is where love comes in and it's not it. It only feels that way because of the emotions I have for the people I like.

Last night, I thought about what I have done so far and realized, I've probably lived a life most kids would die to have.
I've driven nice cars, I've been to nice places, my family has a rich background, but I feel as if money as confused me. I can't really explain this in typed up words, and I do hope you forgive me if this makes no sense.

I feel as if money has corrupted me and love is not helping. Unfornately, I always say, I think I'll hang out with my buds today and just say "Hi" to that girl. But then, my eyes spot here and I feel as if nature has taken over and I can't resist being with her, talking to her. I question why the hell I get so jealous of another man, and why I can't control my jealous, or mixed feelings.

I tell my friends my dreams as if they are a link.
They only replied "Owning a nice home, with exotic cars and a loving woman is typical."
But at 19?

My talk with Kelly today did not help either.
Her response was the same as Logan's.
"You're living a great life Rick. You've been to wonderful places, you've owned so many nice things, you've got terriffic friends. But why do you think you feel so empty?"

Unfornately, my love for Kelly is indeniable, and my talk did nothing but make me think of her. Logan blames love, and says it's natural. I, for some reason, can not accept that. It can't be love that causes this empty feeling. I feel as if it's only tricked me into thinking it.

Well, I don't...know what else...to say, really. This talk of love makes my heart race and I can't make it stop. Everyone says it's love, but that can only be partially true.

I only came here as to see, maybe, my fellow friends at GTPlanet could possibly help me.
So my question is...
Why I do have this empty feeling, why can't I control it, and why is this suddenly tearing me up inside?

Is it really love? Money? Or the fact that I've been exposed to so many great things?
Why can't I discover what this empty feeling is?

My sinserest appologies if none of this makes sense, my fellow GTPer's.:indiff:
 
*McLaren*
Why I do have this empty feeling, why can't I control it, and why is this suddenly tearing me up inside?
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Because you're only 19 and you haven't figure out what you want to do with your life yet. You don't sound like you have a goal, or at least not one you're actively working toward.

You need purpose, your life needs meaning.

...just a guess.
 
When you say that lately you've been feeling moody, how long do you mean? If it's been like this for a month or more, you might want to consider talking to a doctor. If you have been feeling this for a few days, there probably isn't a problem. I'm sure someone will give you good advice on where to go next. :)
 
Well, I think the key to happiness is defining what you want in life (even if it’s vague or prone to change). Do you want to just find the love of your life? Do you want a huge family? Do you just want friends? Do you want to change somebody’s life? Do you want to change many people’s lives? Do you want to be a builder, a researcher, a fighter for justice, what?

Once you’ve defined what you want in life, life becomes much easier, because then you have something to work for. It sounds to me that your emptiness comes from a lack of focus – you have no definition of success, so you have nothing to aim for, and are just sort of “living life” without any purpose.

Give yourself a purpose. Like I said, it doesn’t have to be a purpose that you’ll be steadfast to – I’ve changed my purpose a couple times, and I’m probably bound to change it again within the next few years. But hell, just give yourself something to work towards, because you’ll either be satisfied with reaching that goal and the process itself, or it’ll open up a new goal for you.

[edit]: Hrm, Dan treed me. :grumpy:
 
Sage
Once you’ve defined what you want in life, life becomes much easier, because then you have something to work for. It sounds to me that your emptiness comes from a lack of focus – you have no definition of success, so you have nothing to aim for, and are just sort of “living life” without any purpose.
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I agree. Living life as it comes, with no goals or ambitions is not satisfying. Once you have something to do, and a reason to do it, life just seems better.

Or at least, it does to me.
 
I do have some goals, but they seem to easy. I, like many here, would like a job in the Automotive field.

I would love to work as a salesman, and even own my own dealer 1 day. But the goal doesn't seem tempting enough, even since I've actually experienced the job, and while I would never mind doing it professional, it seems like "Meh, tried it, liked it, but want more out of it."

I know my life needs a meaning, and I know it's probably natural to want a career that gets my blood pumping.

But is it because I could actually use money to achieve that goal and not care how good I get?

I feel as if working in an office will be boring (no offense, I have great respect for those who can do it). I don't want to say, "I want a goal with cars b/c they are what make my heart race, what makes me happy" but it sounds dumb, of course. I also feel I have been spoiled to much by friends in the automotive industry as well.

But if a meaning is what I need, why can't I accept it won't be easy, and why the hell is love making such an impact?
 
You have to look at what you want and the personal satisfaction you’ll get out of it. You say you want to work as a salesman or own a dealership – but why? Do you want to earn the most profits? Do you want to help people enjoy the car-buying experience? Do you feel strongly about any particular manufacturer and want to help it out as much as you can? Do you want to do this because it’s the best use of your personality and skills?

Or do you say you want this just because it involves cars and because it’s something you’re used to?

One way I could see owning a dealership being a really rewarding experience is if you have a picture of the ultimate dealership in your mind, the ultimate setup with a perfect ambiance and haggle-free shopping and a setup that allows customers to easily peruse your selection of cars. That would be my definition of success – creating a dealer that just knocks everybody’s socks off, and makes people want to go there just for the sake of going there, and to see people actually enjoy buying their cars.

Is that what you want? You have to want something that’ll bring a smile to your face, something that makes you feel like you’re doing more than can be put in money.

For example, I hate to use myself as an example, but it’s really convenient in this case: I (for the time being ;)) want to work in the biotech industry, because few things could make me happier than discovering something that will save thousands or millions of lives – that’s priceless, that’s worth more than the pay. I don’t define my primary goal of being a biotech as “working with genes”, but rather what my ultimate goal is, i.e., what will make me happy and feel that my job is worth it.

Don’t just go for a goal because it’s easy or hard (but do make it somewhat practical, of course) – go for a goal because it brings deep satisfaction.
 
I'm going to respond only to the feminine part.

The period you are in is a semi difficult one. You are transferring from high school where most relations are bs to adulthood where the goal is not centered around social standing but around finding the right one. This is much more of an emotional investment. You see this person and think that they could be the one. Of course you will get jealous when you see another man doing anything with her, let alone sending her flowers. You've begun to invest emotions or at least hopes into this person but feel that they have been torn down by this other male. Does this sound right?

Firstly it is hard tell if she is the one quickly. Some never do it, some think they've found it but later decide otherwise. There are as many chances as you create. Maybe, years from now you will look upon this and realize if you had been with her you may have never met your unique one.

Secondly just because some other dude is making attempts doesn't mean your chances are gone.

There is no reason to not take a shot at getting this girl. Worst comes to worst she turns you down and your exactly where you started from, which is not a bad place at all. As I said before You have as many chances at love as you are willing to create.

If the road was easy the destination would have no meaning whatsoever.
 
xcsti
If the road was easy the destination would have no meaning whatsoever.
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Too true, i have no idea what i want to do, but i know that whatever i want to do with my life it will be what my heart wanted me to do.
 
*McLaren*
I don't know how to start this off, but here it goes anyways.

I've been thinking this over in my head for the past few days and finally decided to make a thread on it.

Lately, I've been feeling...rather moody. Not as in, frequent mood swings, but as in questioning life and why things are the way they are. Love is starting to play a big role too, which doesn't help too much. But for some reason, I'm only like this alone. When I'm with friends, I don't think of any of this.
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You know, this is exactly how I feel like atm. Im turned 18 last year and Im doing an apprenticeship.

I feel moody too, have mood swings and Im looking for that love, exactly how you said it! Been thinking of making a topic out of it too.
And as you said, when Im with my friends, I feel totally alright. I feel good then.

When the weekend is over, i just feel depressed. But I DONT KNOW WHY!

This is where love comes and its not. Like you said it.

A gf would fill that up.

How funny that u wrote this topic, Ive been planning to, and it would have sounded just like the one u made.

I most probably think that im depressed for 2 reasons. Its not like Im always depressed sometimes im just happy when I get home from work. Mood Swings..

1- Ive been trying to reach something that I still havnt, I dont even know if I ever will
2- a gf

If I get one point, it will kill the point thats left.

We are just not 100% happy with our life atm, schooltime was just foolin around all day, doing nothing but having some fun.

Hey, what the hell, well be happy one day and think of this time and laugh at ourselves,

im goin after that goal

peace
 
True xcsti, but I've been out of high school for a long time now.

But I guess you're right. The feeling went away when I talked to her last night and went to bed a happy man.

I don't really feel threatened by other guys though, just a lil' jealous. But 1 reason I don't want to ask is b/c I don't want a friendship of 2 years to die right in my face cause of a simple question.
 
Not knowing much about you or her, Rick, if the friendship ends because of "one simple question" you have to ask youself if it was - pardon the overused term - "meant to be."

I brought up the dating question to a friend, she very kindly said no, and 4 years later I married my wife. Do I wonder what would have happened if she would have said yes? Of course. All in all, I believe it worked out much better this way. That said, you should get your feelings out in the open. If she says no, then so be it (see not meant to be comment above). But guess what? She might say yes.

As far as being out of school and not having a goal, what do you like to do, what do you see yourself doing in 10 years? Forget about the house and cars for now. Those will come.
 
*McLaren*
But is it because I could actually use money to achieve that goal and not care how good I get?
Click to expand...

You need to find something productive that you enjoy doing. Optimally you need to find somthing productive that you would do even if it didn't pay.

But if a meaning is what I need, why can't I accept it won't be easy, and why the hell is love making such an impact?
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You don't want to accept that it won't be easy because nobody wants to work hard - but you have to learn to accept it. As has already been said here, it won't matter to you if it's easy. Your love life is making an impact because it plays something of a role in providing your life with meaning. Many people get carried away with that and forsake their careers for family - only to feel empty again after their kids are gone and they realize that family (while an important part of the equation) is simply not enough to hang your entire life on.

You need both.
 
Im only 12, so don't mind my advice much, but this bit:

I question why the hell I get so jealous of another man, and why I can't control my jealous, or mixed feelings.
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I can help with.

I knew this girl, and really liked her a while ago. Every time I'd see her talking to another guy I'd just get so pissed off. Then after I got over this whole thing (and actually started dating her 👍 ) I realized it's just nature. IF you really like someone, you get competitive over them. If that's what you're trying to say, it's just a guys nature (or most). It's not like your a psycho :).

Anyways, just want you to know Rick that everyone here at GTP is willing to listen to your problems (and if not I'll make them). :D.

Hope I helped at least somewhat.

Edit: I just saw your most recent post. Let me just say that if asking her to go out on a date with you ruins your friendship with her completely, then she wasn't a great friend to begin with. If she can't understand you have feelings for her and just wanted to know if she felt the same if you ask her, then don't bother with her. Im not saying she is a horrible person (I don't even know her), I'm just saying she shouldn't blow off your friendship if you ask her on a date.
 
MachOne
I realized it's just nature. IF you really like someone, you get competitive over them.
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This is typically true - though you can't use jealousy as an indication that you "really like someone". Just be careful about trying to invert this.
 
danoff
This is typically true - though you can't use jealousy as an indication that you "really like someone". Just be careful about trying to invert this.
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Yeah thats almost the opposite of what I was trying to say. If you use jealousy to show you like someone alot, they may get the impression your perverse. Most girls don't like guys that get jealous easy, either. Not saying it's not normal to be jealous, but being defensive 99% of the time isn't anything girls typically look for.
 
I have felt so empty these last 4 days. I don't have emotions for anything or anybody. Maybe because I have the flu....
 

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