Hmmm... not really. My life has been boring.
Slipped and fell into an open canal in pre-school. Smelled like garbage, all the way home.
Stuck a fork in a power socket in Grade School. 220V, bra... none of that weak 110 stuff, yo. It was awesome.
Got caught (in Grade School, still) vandalizing the bathroom wall. With an eraser. Wrote my name by cleaning off layer upon layer of graffiti to leave it in glaring whiteness against the background of crud.... that was actually rather cool, though... something to try in public. Let's see the police try to invent a charge for that. "Vandalism by use of a cleaning implement..." which would be followed by "Assault with a deadly sponge."
Tried to do a front flip off the vault without a spotter (in High School). Missed my mark by a few inches, so my hands slipped off (powder on your hands from doing the bars does not a good vault make...). Hit my head on the vault (two and a half feet) then on the floor (another five, but who's counting?). Came to half a minute later being carried like a sack of potatoes by four guys who obviously didn't know how to move a traction patient. Was fine, but my ears rang for a week.
Jumped my mountain bike off a six foot embankment on a dare (High School). Still have the scars on my leg to prove I wasn't chicken.
A few months before that, rode onto a golf course green. "Escorted" off by several guards carrying shotguns.
Never walk past a student protest rally (College). Tear gas canisters look fascinatingly like little rockets as they arc into the air, trailing plumes of smoke. I knew I should have stayed home that day.
It wasn't as bad as the day I tried to go to class at the peak of a Hurricane. It's eerie when you're the only person on the whole street and rooftops are flying off all around you. They didn't even have the decency to post "Exams cancelled" on the shuttered gates.
And never take the bus home after midnight. I've been puked on, slept on (if it's a woman... no biggie... if it's the drunk old man who's puked on you... biggie), hit on by strange men wearing make-up, seen stabbings... though there are unexpected bonuses. Got four pounds of string beans for free when our eagle-eyed driver spotted a gigantic sack of produce that had fallen off a truck.
Fraternities are so awesome when you're a freshie. And they're so full of 🤬 after they've whacked you on the back a few hundred times with a paddle and have gotten you involved in a gang war you didn't sign on for.
Never get into a debate with a leftist. Or a right-wing fundamentalist. The endless recursive arguments will make you late for your next class.
The fork in the socket would later come back to haunt me. I count no fewer than three times in the past two years that a plug has blown up in my hands. It really hurts. Wasn't my fault, (I'm not in the maintenance department, so...) so I don't count it as stupid, but it really hurts.
Spin a car? Flip a car? Blow an engine? Blown a suspension? Roasted brakes? Drive it underwater? Been there, done that. Sometimes clicking off multiple items at the same time.
Worst of all... got my ear pierced, because my wife thought it would be cool. We went to the nearest place that could do it, and I swear, the woman with the gun used a quarter inch nail... it hurt hijjus.
(yeah, I gave up my individuality and my intense fear of sharp objects for my woman. That's love.
)
Like I said, pretty boring life.
My heart was racing for a few moments after that.
