Fatmouse: Neither problem nor solution.

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Really. Well, anything that has "members", and a certain task that has to be done to get in (an initiation if you would), I would consider a club. Maybe that's just me though.
 
There are no real members and, as such, no tasks required for membership (since there is no membership). There are merely people recognised by Fatmouse for high levels of cynicism.

Though it is convenient to refer to such persons as "members".
 
It vexes me that someone so apparently disinterested in something feels the need to voice said disinterest so frequently. Surely a better course of action for said individual would be to ignore the thread?
 
GilesGuthrie
It vexes me that someone so apparently disinterested in something feels the need to voice said disinterest so frequently. Surely a better course of action for said individual would be to ignore the thread?
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It becomes not a disinterest, but a severe non-disinterest. An intense interest. But it may not be in the topic itself, rather the idea of the topic. Disinterested in the topic but interested in the involvement of the topic.

Or it could just be shear boredom.
 
Vexation 5: Confusion between uninterest (lack of interest) and disinterest (impartiality).

Vexation 6: Shoelaces. Here we are, in the 21st Century and we still rely on knotted ropes to hold our footwear on. Clue: Anything sufficiently primitive that the Amish don't reject it is not a viable item. Why has no-one invented a successful, non-wiener alternative? Oh, sure there's Puma's Disc (not successful) and the brief fling with Velcro (wiener), but yet we're still back in the land of "tied on with string".
 
We all know velcro is over-rated: "We could of developed wheat with the properties of velcro to catch whatever's making those crop circles.. but then the space ship would have to have the corresponding velcro so it's a bit of a long shot."

Following on from 'clique': Router. It's a commonly used term in the computer network industry, and i've probably heard this a million times now, but calling it a 'rowter' always bugs me. It's not wrong, of course not, but it vexes me greatly.
 
People who put their bag on an empty chair next to them. Do bags even have an ass?

People who keep asking to many questions. Use Google.

People who say they are different, but they're obviously following a trend.

People who jump on bandwagons.
 
Cars without cruise control.

People who do something stupid and blame everyone else for the misfortune they brought upon themselves. Specifically "Why'd you have to let the cops in and tell them ****, you know I have illegal crap in here".
 
Vexation Number Zwei und Zwanßig- People who say that an alarm has gone "off" when it is switched on.
 
Vexations Itchy-Nissan:

—

People who have never been told that the word "no" applies to them every so often. Suddenly these types of people get a wierd, unsettling feeling; and that strangeness, as we shall describe it, is that suddenly all people, places, and objects no longer have a strong gravitational pull unto them. This may result in a loss of control of thier faculties, such as the ability to speak calmly, keep their temperature normal, and occasionally results in childlike behavior.

=

People who walk their dogs on a 25-foot leash, and wonder why they have no control over their dog. "It must be the dog's fault...He just goes where he wants to...Just like a little person!"

Ξ

For that matter, why do people raise their voice by 4 octaves to talk to a baby or a small dog?
 
People who say "It's because I'm black isn't it?" or "I'm better because I'm black" Who cares? They're practically destroying what Martin Luther King Jr. and others fought for. Equality.
 
Vexation Drei Und Zwanßig- People in general who's voices go higher at the end of a sentence. It's annoying, and it won't make your point any more heard.

Vexation Vier Und Zwanßig- People who are cheery. If I'm feeling depressed, it's probably my own choice to do so, wallowing in self pity. I do not wish for you to search deep into my soul in order to find out what's wrong. If you really need to search a soul, look into your own, leave mine to fester, thanks.

Vexation Funf Und Zwanßig- People who sell beauty products door to door. Go home and rethink your life. Quickly now, go.
 
GilesGuthrie
It vexes me that someone so apparently disinterested in something feels the need to voice said disinterest so frequently. Surely a better course of action for said individual would be to ignore the thread?
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Good call, done.
 
Duke – Staff Mortician or Official Senior Executive Cynic (take your pick)
How do you deal with so much dead weight at your company (never mind the building materials)? I felt the need to call in to my local AM radio show last week (no power, not much food, therefore, not much else to do) with the unstable balance of pirates and global warming. They thought I was nuts, but not after a good laugh by all.

Omnis
You should know better; although I can understand the recent pent-up frustration of living in 2005 B.C. (Broward County). Come now, you coulda been a contenda last yea.

Sage – Gravy Train
The Florida Turnpike has an exit about every 5 miles (in the populated areas, 10 times that in the farmland), and large $50,000 signs warning people there is an exit coming up every mile or so. And yet, people dally about in the right lane at precisely the moment your merging car is trying to enter the highway. How effing difficult is it to move over for about 300 feet to allow merging traffic? Mind you, the Turnpike has about as many challenging bends as your local drag strip.

No U-turns where you might actually need them in place, and thus, people wonder why stupid drivers decide to make their own turn lanes and ignore any concept of right-of-way.

gt_masta
The first one’s an open door to get a girls attention (see Gil). Of course, it takes some of us a lifetime to commit that to memory. Two and Four are worthy, one more unique vexation to get On The Dole.

xcsti – On the Dole
You made it on aggravate…I mean, aggregate. (I like that word since nobody in the U.S. uses it for some reason.) Some of my drug-addled friends are in that category, although I don’t invite DEA agents to their homes for a cup of sugar. Old people and small people in big cars drive like that, though. The DEA agents should seize their cars as they’re on too many meds to allow proper automatic transmission shifting technique.

GTRacer4
One more vexation for Dole status…Bags without asses – classic!

GilesGuthrie – Official Senior Executive Cynic
Kicking ass way beyond the call of duty.

TheWizard - One the Dole
Although not all vexations count, see your local dealer for details. It's rare I waste electrons as such, but: Great avatar.

Mike Rotch
You have no status, as you have transcended such things. Or, just go ahead and modify if my post and give yourself one.
 
People who say "anyways"

The name that the media gives celebrity couples by combining their names (Brangelina, Bennifer, etc)

People who think that just because they call themselves an "asshole", it makes it okay to be one.

People who use "impact" as a verb.

People who say "supposibly".
 
Zrow - Office Worker
No longer on the Dole (Bobelizabeth or otherwise). I don't play guessing games with people that say 51% "this" / 49% "that"; they need to realize their excuses for lightswitch behavior changes don't burden my personal Richter Scales an iota.
 
Zrow
People who say "anyways"

The name that the media gives celebrity couples by combining their names (Brangelina, Bennifer, etc)

People who think that just because they call themselves an "asshole", it makes it okay to be one.

People who use "impact" as a verb.

People who say "supposibly".
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Jewels. Gems. Solid gold.
 
Zardoz
Jewels. Gems. Solid gold.
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Surely you've got a few of your own, since your Ferrari-badged Lancia is a vexation unto itself. After all, you seem to have a penchant for the nostalgic days of Grand Prix racing, even though the racing wasn't any closer than what we have today.
 
People with a fascination with titles. Namely the ones vying for Fatmouse position

People who say "It's a brown thing" to explain something someone raised here wouldn't understand. What in the blue hell is a 'brown thing'?

People who take a random spot in the benches at the bus terminal, making it impossible for others to sit with an empty seat to their left and right (Think urinal etiquette).

Professors who tell photographers that they need to edit more of their photos. There's a reason they call it photography and not photomanipulation.
 
Touring Mars
My rant is about the English football league... It used to be Divisions 1,2,3 and 4 ... simple. Then Division 1 became 'The Premiership' :bowdown:, and Div 2 became Div 1, Div 3 became Div 2 etc... but then, Division 1, (formerly Division 2) became 'The Championship', and now Div 2 (formerly Division 3) is now Division 1, and the old Division 4 is now Division 2 :irked: ... to complicate matters, the division below Division 4 (sorry, Division 2) is called 'The Conference'... so it now goes, 'The Premiership', 'The Championship', Division 1, Division 2, 'The Conference'...
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I thought there has always been a division called the conference? I've never heard anyone call it the fourth division.

I managed to mildly confuse my old grandad with the League 1/2/3 thing though.

Me: So I see that Southend have been promoted to league one
Grandad: The first division? They were in the 3rd division last season.
Me: Well the 2nd division is called league one and the third division is now called league two.
Grandad: That doesn't make much sense.

I have one vexation at the moment.

It occurs during the Roma Derby, when the two top teams in Rome play each other. One is called Roma and the other is called Lazio.

It always bothers me when a forward player that is nearing the end of his carrer scores for Lazio. Well that's not the part that bothers me. But when he celebrates his goals with the fans he decides to give the (fans) a fascist salute. I'm assuming this is because Benito Mussolini used to support Lazio and maybe some of the fans are neo fascists. When said forward was questioned he brushed the fascist remark off and said 'I was waving to the fans' which seems a pretty lame excuse.

This vexates me a bit, I think it's the whole sport/politics thing. Or maybe it's just I don't like fascist salutes in my Roma derby.
 
pupik
xcsti – On the Dole
You made it on aggravate…I mean, aggregate. (I like that word since nobody in the U.S. uses it for some reason.) Some of my drug-addled friends are in that category, although I don’t invite DEA agents to their homes for a cup of sugar. Old people and small people in big cars drive like that, though. The DEA agents should seize their cars as they’re on too many meds to allow proper automatic transmission shifting technique.
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To elaborate slightly, I have thankfully been removed the whole time past being the one that gets cried at when it hits the fan.

No invitation was necessary for the DEA agents, but are they supposed to do when they come knocking? Protect someone who makes their life hell.

Vexation umpteeen

People that laugh at immediate uncontrollable missfortune. Falling in a puddle, slipping on ice, getting hit by a random object related to some sport etc. If I make an ass of myself do please laugh. When fate has its way with my poor behind please be kind enough to realize that you're next on its list.
 
I have to admit to not liking "It's a black thing, you wouldn't understand".
It may be a "ghetto thing", or a "redneck thing", or an "asshat thing".
"things" really have no racial boundaries.
Whatever your thing is that I won't understand. Perhaps I don't want to understand.
Don't try to explain it. You'll just **** it up.
Get me your leader, have him/her put in thier teef, shave their pits, and then see me about explanations.
By the time they do that I may even be interested in hearing it.
 
Vexation : I didn't get to pass my driver license because I have been honest and said I was operated to the eyes when I was young. Result, I need to wait one month before I can attemp to pass my theorical exam, and I need to bring a note from an optometrist saying I'm okay to drive. What frustrates me is that drunk driver can still drive even if they gotarrested by the police and I can't even pass my exam? I had this operation when I was 2 years old and everything is okay, but they don't care.

Vexation : When you take the bus and the driver tries to overtake an echo but forgets he's driving a bus and destroys the echo's front bumper (no one is injured) and the passenger in the bus need to wait 1 hour because the girl needs to call the police.

Vexation : The fact that the hall in which my locker is is about 6 feet wide with locker from both side and is hevealy popullated at the end of the day. If you fall, you're going to be walked over to death by football players who are going to their pratice.
 
Gil
I have to admit to not liking "It's a black thing, you wouldn't understand".
It may be a "ghetto thing", or a "redneck thing", or an "asshat thing".
"things" really have no racial boundaries.
Whatever your thing is that I won't understand. Perhaps I don't want to understand.
Don't try to explain it. You'll just **** it up.
Get me your leader, have him/her put in thier teef, shave their pits, and then see me about explanations.
By the time they do that I may even be interested in hearing it.
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Ah, thank you for putting it more eloquently than I could :)
 
As a newly appointed office worker, I just want to emphasize that the point of this is cynicism, not things that have happened to you once and was a pain.
 
Zrow
As a newly appointed office worker, I just want to emphasize that the point of this is cynicism, not things that have happened to you once and was a pain.
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Sorry, but I didn't really know the meaning of cynicism and just guessed it.
 
The phrase "I'm not gonna lie."

Whenever a guy wears a pink polo shirt with the collar popped to stand out, that and the phrase "real men wear pink." It doesn't make you look manly, it makes you look like a complete tool.

Whenever people clip their nails and leave the clippings in inappropriate places (i.e. my brother leaving them next to the bathroom sink, so I have to stare at them while I'm brushing my teeth)

People who put their chewed up gum on their plates while they're eating, like I want to stare at it while I'm enjoying my meal.

Overweight girls who wear slutty clothes that are way too small for them.
 
Max Powers
People who put their chewed up gum on their plates while they're eating, like I want to stare at it while I'm enjoying my meal.
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Oh God, I know. That really is disgusting.

I'm gonna add another: The phrase "no offense" that always seems to precede something blatently offensive.
 
Given my employment with an 8,000-person publicly traded corporation, I think that Official Senior Executive Cynic fits the bill. That my friend Giles shares the same title is a bonus larger than I'll be getting from the management this year.
 
pupik
TheWizard - One the Dole
Although not all vexations count, see your local dealer for details. It's rare I waste electrons as such, but: Great avatar.
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Fair enough.
I guess I put too many?
Which local dealer should I see? I don't do hard drugs... :D

Thanks for wasting some electrons of yours 👍

The Wizard.
 
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