I don't find the team order they did itself bad by the way, but more how they did it, like they thought everyone who watches F1 is dumb.
They thought everyone who watches is dumb? How exactly...? They dealt with it the best way they could. What are they going to do -- command Felipe to pull over and admit it was a team order against the rules?
In the moment it was all up in the air of controversy and many people had different views about it, I'm sure, but IMO there was really nothing wrong with it happening. It was in the best interest of the team and it was the right call. It makes no difference whether this happens now or in the last race of the season to ensure a teammate wins the championship. See Raikkonen and Massa in 2007 and 2008 helping each other out. Nobody thought anything was wrong there. Why not?
The only problem with the way it was executed was that Smedley, Massa's engineer, said sorry after it happened. But that is simply one employee. You can't take that and apply it to all of Ferrari. Smedley is on Massa's side and wants the best for him, not Alonso, so he felt he needed to tell him sorry coming from him, not the team.
Maybe asking him to confirm he understood the message is seen as a strange thing to do, but it helped get the point across to Felipe as to what was going on. If he was just told Fernando was quicker, what does that really mean? Okay, that's great, thanks. This way he knows he needs to let him through.
Smedley couldn't have told him straight up to let Alonso past since that is a clear infringement of the team orders rule. While essentially it can be argued that what happened was a team order anyway, there was no order for it to happen. He's faster than you, can you confirm? That's not at order. Whether or not that's a secret code established by Ferrari beforehand, there is no clear order in the moment from that message.
And quite honestly, if there is anyone to really blame for the way it happened it's Massa. I was disgusted by the way he acted after the race about it and how he told the interviewer "you know what happened," absolutely suggesting it was a team order and everything else he said about it. I understand after something like that you feel robbed. Yes, Massa was robbed of the victory but again you have to look back to the team. It was best for Alonso to win for him to get back into the hunt and Massa really didn't have much of a chance given his point totals based completely on his own performance earlier in the year.
Not displaying joy is fine. I wouldn't expect him to look like a happy guy, but to act so unprofessionally like the way he did was unacceptable. Afterwards he said there was no order as well, contradicting what he first said essentially. You need to think for the team, Felipe. If you're going to defend the team afterwards (not much of a choice really), then don't lose yourself beforehand. Stay in check and just accept it since that's the only thing you can do.
If you're really upset by it, don't let it happen and defend your position within the team. If you're willing to do it, then don't say anything about it publicly, especially considering you agreed to let it happen. If you want to lose your seat at Ferrari and punish them for making the right decision for the team, go ahead and do that, but it won't lead to anything good for you, Ferrari, or F1.
It's a difficult position to be in but there is a right way and a wrong way to deal with it.