Futurama Quotes

[Famine]

The "successor" to The Simpsons, but sadly cancelled before its time, Futurama spawned hundreds of funny lines. In fact, each show was just a collection of brilliant, quotable one-liners.

So, in the style of "The Simpsons Quotes" thread, plop your favourite Futuramities here.

Bender: Oh. Your. God.
Zapp Branigan: If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes will come crashing down like a house of cards. Checkmate.
Fry: When you look this good, you don't have to know anything.
Bender: Bite my shiny metal ass.
Professor Farnsworth: Good news everyone!


I'd post some more, but I am already in my pyjamas.

 

[Mike Rotch]

I loved this show. Its humour was more cynical then the Simps. Unfortunately I havent seen an episode in about a year so I cant remember any quotes

 

[Rue]

Futurama was fantastically funny! I wish I had them all on video. I only have the first series. Did the episodes go downhill? Why did they pull the plug. I loved the Schlurm, Willy Wonka parody, episode! Slurms MacKenzie! Ball bustingly funny! Don't remember any quotes though

EDIT: OK, so it was 'Slurm', but other than not remembering any quotes AND getting the name of the drink that appears in almost every episode incorrect, I am a huge fan. Honestly. No, really I am.

EDIT2: Oh god! Now I'm wondering if Slurm only appeared in the Slurm factory episode. Please, someone put me out of my misery!

 

[Mike Rotch]

Slurm was mentioned in a few episodes. Just like Hypnotoad 👍

 

[Solid Lifters]

Lurr the Omicronian Ruler: "Whoa, that hippie is starting to kick in. Wow, look how huge my hands are. They can touch everything, but themselves. (He puts his hands together) Oh, wait!"

 

[Famine]

Slurm was mentioned in a few episodes. Just like Hypnotoad 👍

Pet Show Judge: And the winner is... THE HYPNOTOAD. ALL HAIL THE HYPNOTOAD.

Slurm is the "insert brown fizzing liquid brand of choice here" of the 31st Century. It's all over the place - in fact it's probably in every episode on billboards. Futurama's attention to detail was staggering.

Preacher-bot: Who will be saved-ah? Who-ah! Who-ah!
Bender crashes through ceiling
Bender: Me...

Morgan Proctor: Dirty boy! Dirty dirty dirty!

chaser fan - It was pulled after poor ratings. The fact it was never shown on the same channel twice at the same time on the same day ever probably had something to do with it. The final episode was very weak though.

 

[Event]

I onw all the DVDs that they have. I know a lot, but I'll only do a couple now...

Fry: Bender, Did you touch the Crushinator?
Bender: Of course not! A lady that fine you have to Romance first.

Zoidberg: Friends, Help! a Guinea Pig tricked me!

Futurama is brought to you by - Thompson's Teeth. The only teeth strong enough to eat other teeth.

Mr. Panucci: Hey hawking, you want the usual?
Stephen hawking: No, this time I would like something good.

Stephen hawking: There he is, get him!
Fry: Who said that?!

Gary Gygax: Greetings. It's a *rolls dice* pleasure to meet you

Nichelle Nichols: Incoming Transmission from MCI long didtance.
Al Gore: Tell them i'm in the tub

 

[Famine]

I loved that Stephen Hawking episode... With the Fry Hole/Hawking Hole

Zapp Branigan: ... Some of you will die for your planet. Some of you will be forced through a fine mesh screen for your planet.

Best quote ever...
Fry: Why would a robot need to drink alcohol?
Bender: I don't need to drink. The chemical energy keeps my batteries charged.
Fry: Then what is the cigar for?
Bender: It makes me look cool.

 

[Event]

bender: Hey, i wonder if I can eat nachos and go to the bathroom at the same time!

Zapp: Stardate... uhhh..
Kiff: April 13th.
Zapp: April 13th......................... point two

Look at me! I'm Dr. Zoidberg! Homeowner!

 

[Mike Rotch]

Zoidberg: Friends, Help! a Guinea Pig tricked me!

Cracks me up 👍

 

[Solid Lifters]

Murr, Lurr's wife - "Would you like a little human to go with your salt?"

 

[Chris Hendriks]

Lurr-"We Will raise the temperature of your planet 1000 degrees per day for five days, unless we recieve (forgot her name)"

 

[Event]

Amy's date: I must admit Amy, you're all made up, just like Fry's date... gte it?
Amy: *shakes head* uh-uh.

Monk: Let us out! We cooked our shoes in the dryer and ate them! now we're bored!

Universe B bender: Bite my glorious golden ass.

Professor Farnsworth: Unless this is a nude-love-in, get the hell off my property!

Leela: You're vegetarians, Who cares what you think!

Fry: I like like your filppers.
Umbriella: Thanks, I like this wiggly do-dads coming out of you.
Fry: Thanks, they're called pants.

 

[Solid Lifters]

Zoidberg: "So long! I'm off to toss this old shell in the dumpster and maybe pick up those potato chips Amy didn't finish yesterday."

Amy: "Those were toe nail clippings"

Zoidberg: "A feast is a feast."

 

[Darin]

The only part I laughed at, is when Zoidberg does that "whoop-whoop-whoop" thing and crawls/runs like a crab. I find it utterly hilarious.

 

[IDAFC21]

my favorite quote of all time comes from the human horn episode and they were gonna cut frys "horn" off and they have the cooler w/ ice all ready for it and bender puts a 6 pack of beer in it and says "Who knew a cooler could also double as a handy wang coffin!"

 

[Zrow]

Fry (to the "smart monkey") - "Hey, you like bananas? I got her number! How do you like them bananas?"

 

[Event]

Fry (to the "smart monkey") - "Hey, you like bananas? I got her number! How do you like them bananas?"

Actually, Geunter (the smart monkey) said that to Fry.

Professor: That damn time machine alone set me back 15 years!
Zoidberg: If only it would've worked, you could go back and not waste your time on it.

 

[Rue]

FRY: Ow! My sperm!

 

[Famine]

FRY: Ow! My sperm!

"Fry and the Slurm Factory", just after Bender zaps Fry with the Z-ray

"When you see the Robot Devil, tell him I'm coming."
(takes a few steps)
Bender: "That guy says..."
The Robot Devil: "I heard him."

Gigantic Bender: Bite My Colossal Metal Ass!

Professor Farnsworth: That was a less stupid question, although you asked it in a profoundly stupid manner.


One of my favourites... Zoidberg's house (large conch shell) has just burned down. Underwater...

Z: How did this happen? *sobs*
Hermes: That's a very good question!
Bender: Oh, so that's where I left my cigar.
Hermes: That just raises further questions!


Zoidberg: I'll need to examine you with this.
*holds out endoscope*
*Fry opens mouth*
Guess again.

 

[Darin]

"Fry and the Slurm Factory", just after Bender zaps Fry with the Z-ray

"When you see the Robot Devil, tell him I'm coming."
(takes a few steps)
Bender: "That guy says..."
The Robot Devil: "I heard him."

Gigantic Bender: Bite My Colossal Metal Ass!

Professor Farnsworth: That was a less stupid question, although you asked it in a profoundly stupid manner.


One of my favourites... Zoidberg's house (large conch shell) has just burned down. Underwater...

Z: How did this happen? *sobs*
Hermes: That's a very good question!
Bender: Oh, so that's where I left my cigar.
Hermes: That just raises further questions!


Zoidberg: I'll need to examine you with this.
*holds out endoscope*
*Fry opens mouth*
Guess again.

👍

Maybe Zoidberg and Bender are the show...

 

[Rue]

Slurm factory episode: The whole conversation between Bender and the transvestite robo-hooker (and his mannerisms) is so damned funny! Will get the conversation later.

 

[ExigeEvan]

*We want Foo Foo*

 

[Rue]

Inside the bowels of the Slurm factory...

Fry: Oh my God! What if the secret ingredient... is people!
Leela: No, they already have a drink like that: Soylent Cola.
Fry: Oh. How is it?
Leela: It varies from person to person.

 

[Zrow]

Actually, Geunter (the smart monkey) said that to Fry.

Professor: That damn time machine alone set me back 15 years!
Zoidberg: If only it would've worked, you could go back and not waste your time on it.

Damn! You're right.

 

[Solid Lifters]

Brannigan: "She's built like a steak-house, but she handles like a bistro!" *alert sounds* "She's out of control! You win again gravity!"

 

[OneOffPoster]

Murr, Lurr's wife - "Would you like a little human to go with your salt?"

Actually they're Lrrr and Ndnd. Many of these quotes were butchered.

Zapp: "If we can hit that bull's-eye, the rest of the dominos will fall
like a house of cards. Checkmate!"



[Scene: Planet Express: Meeting Room. Farnsworth and Hermes address the crew.]

Farnsworth: Folks, the situation is grim but we shall prevail, thanks to you, our crack team of loyal dregs!

[Scruffy sits with his feet on the table, Amy puts make up on and Zoidberg sits, listening. Hermes looks at Scruffy.]

Hermes: I don't even know who this guy is!

Scruffy: I'm Scruffy, the janitor.

Farnsworth: Yes, of course you are. Now we've got to buckle down and save Planet Express.

Scruffy: I'm on break.

[He picks up a bag of Potato Chips and slowly munches them.]

 

[Famine]

Many of these quotes were butchered.

[...]

Scruffy: I'm Scruffy, the janitor.

Irony.

 

[Solid Lifters]

Actually they're Lrrr and Ndnd. Many of these quotes were butchered.

Blame the fine folks at Closed Captioning.

 

[CrackHoor]

Bender, setting a good example: "You're watching Futurama, the show that doesn't condone the cool crime of robbery."

Fry motivating Leela to keep searching for Bender when he's floating through space: "You can't lose hope just because it's hopeless. You've gotta hope even harder, and cover your ears, and go Blah-blah blah blah blah, blah-blah-blah."

I had that last one on my answering machine for a while.

Fry again: "I've never seen a supernova blow up, but if it's anything like my old Chevy Nova, it'll light up the night sky."