Girl Troubles For Me Too

Rumple Foreskin

Rumple Foreskin

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I can't believe Im doing this, but i am at my wits end. Here is my story. I met a girl on the internet. I am totally in love and she recipricates 100%. Everything about her is perfect and we want to be together forever kind of thing. The problem is that she lives in Canton, Missouri, and i live in Toronto, Canada. She is over 15 hours away from me. I want to spend my life with this girl and we both know that it would work, but she is so far away. We are both really tied down to our areas, she because of nursing school, and me cause of my business training. I am going crazy because she IS the one. Should I just move on with my life and forget about her, or do you guys think i should do something real drastic here like moving my whole life to Canton? What would you do if you found your TRUE love and couldnt be with her?

I want ALOT of feedback and everyones opinion on this one, what would you do??
 
Frankly, I'd doubt I had formed true love over the internet no matter how good the responses.
 
you might not even want to listen to my advice b/c i've made some really stupid decisions so far in my life but i think you should go visit her first and see how it goes, i "fell inlove" with some one on the internet too, but i moved on and now i don't even remember.
oh well that's what i think u should do
 
Wow, you've kept this up for a year now? That's a good start right there. I'd say continue the relationship as is. Have you ever met face to face? If not at least take a vacation trip down there to visit her. How well do you know her family? WHen you call, can you talk to her father? if you get along with him, you've got one more point in your direction.

I think the next step is to meet her face to face, and spend at least three days with her. Stay out of the bedroom. Why ruin a year long build up by jumping into bed the first night? Wait until the last night at least, or better yet, till you meet again.

I'd like to tell you to wait until you're married, but I don't think that ever hapens anymore.

Take a trip down to meet her, her family, and get to know her friends. Bring flowers for her and her mom. Call her father "Sir" and shake his hand.

Then tell us what happened.

See...Puffy can learn from his mistakes, and know that he learned from it. Good move Puffy. Life will get better.

AO
 
You've talked on the phone, I assume?

Visit each other to meet face to face before you even think about what else to do. It would be best to do it on neutral territory, of course, but that;s going to be tough in this case. But meet IRL before you decide what to do.

Fly down to Saint Louis or Kansas City - that would take only a couple of hours in the air. Have here meet you at the airport, and go to the nicest place nearby for a long meal and serious conversation. Then fly back that evening.

If it works out when you actually spend some time talking safely, and in person, then keep in touch as you have been. If it really seems to be working out, visit again and meet each other's families. Obviously with an internet romance there is the issue of trust to be worked around. Keep everything honest and keep everybody around you informed about the status of the relationship, and make sure she does the same. The best way to avoid problems and mistrust is for your families to feel they know each other despite the separation.

She won't be in nursing school forever, and then she can possibly move to CN and begin working there. In the meantime, you'll just have to keep the relationship alive by remote control.

Good luck!

Edit: I wrote all of the above before there were any replies. Sorry for not knowing the whole story when I did.
 
Originally posted by Der Alta
Wow, you've kept this up for a year now? That's a good start right there. I'd say continue the relationship as is. Have you ever met face to face? If not at least take a vacation trip down there to visit her. How well do you know her family? WHen you call, can you talk to her father? if you get along with him, you've got one more point in your direction.

I think the next step is to meet her face to face, and spend at least three days with her. Stay out of the bedroom. Why ruin a year long build up by jumping into bed the first night? Wait until the last night at least, or better yet, till you meet again.

I'd like to tell you to wait until you're married, but I don't think that ever hapens anymore.

Take a trip down to meet her, her family, and get to know her friends. Bring flowers for her and her mom. Call her father "Sir" and shake his hand.

Then tell us what happened.

See...Puffy can learn from his mistakes, and know that he learned from it. Good move Puffy. Life will get better.

AO
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We havnt met face to face. We have only did the whole crappy internet camera thing. it sucks. The animation is worse than a video game developed by 3DO.

Dude, her dad is so cool. He talks to me about how the St. louis Blues are the best hockey team, and I tell him he's crazy and that the leafs rule.

I dont know abotu the whole waitning to do it man, I have a years worth of emotion and stuff just pent up inside of me.

This was my plan, her family is going to Disney world for christmas. I have never been there. I was gonna fly here family down there and take and all expenses paid trip there and get to know all them.

But what if it did work? When i go home she is still 1000 miles away, and it would hurt even more because then I really would know she i perfect.
 
Disney would be good, neutral territory like I said. You've made a great start by talking to her father too; now do the same with her mother if you haven't already.

Yes, it will be tough to stay apart. But remember, how long will she be in school? Compared to the future of 'the rest of your life', it's almost nothing. Meet her, if that works, visit her and have her visit you.

I know you've got the money to spend, but avoid the 'all expenses paid' thing. Don't overwhelm her or the family as a whole. Pay for your own trip, and buy dinner a lot, but don't overdo it. Offer to buy her tickets for a trip to Canada to meet your family.

Really, though - remember that if she's worth it, she's worth waiting for a little. The time will pass and by the time you're able to get together, you'll know each other even better.
 
Originally posted by neon_duke
Disney would be good, neutral territory like I said. You've made a great start by talking to her father too; now do the same with her mother if you haven't already.

Yes, it will be tough to stay apart. But remember, how long will she be in school? Compared to the future of 'the rest of your life', it's almost nothing. Meet her, if that works, visit her and have her visit you.

I know you've got the money to spend, but avoid the 'all expenses paid' thing. Don't overwhelm her or the family as a whole. Pay for your own trip, and buy dinner a lot, but don't overdo it. Offer to buy her tickets for a trip to Canada to meet your family.

Really, though - remember that if she's worth it, she's worth waiting for a little. The time will pass and by the time you're able to get together, you'll know each other even better.
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I dont really know her mother that well, maybe its time i do

The reason i want to take them to disney land is cause they are VERY poor. My Viper costs more than there house. :( They have been saving for like 10 years to go with there family. But i dont want to come in all bling-bling like and show off her dad and piss him off. If i rolled in with my Viper and flew them to Florida they might be pissed cause they have had to work so hard to get where they are, and i have done nothing for what i have. I dont want to hurt her fathers pride.

I have my assistant looking into a flight to St. louis for me during the winter break. I have 3 weeks off for christmas and i think that would be a good time to roll in. I dont want to bring anything to flashy for christmas either, maybe just some flowers and stuff for them. Maybe a snow blower for her dad or something.

I know she is worth the wait, but waiting is killing me man!! I just want to go pick her up, bring her back to Canada and treat her like a princess for the rest of her life.
 
On an encouraging note:
I know several couples that have met via the internet.
You do need to see each other face to face to see if the "chemistry" is there.
You seem to get along with her family. That is one in your favor.
I think the Disney trip is a good idea.
If she is getting and ADN degree for nursing, then nursing school is only 2 years once the pre-requisites are handled.
You don't have the obstacle of having to struggle financially as young newlyweds.
So, see if everything "clicks". Then go from there.
Vaya Con Dios my friend.
 
Knowing Duke is the father of two girls, he'd be a bit protective and a bit pissed if you flew in one day, picked up his daughter and flew her off to Canada. Well, maybe not as much once thier both of age.

The point I was getting at, was you don't marry her, you marry her AND her family. Does she think you're "the one"? more realistically, does she know you're the one? Clear it with her father, and happily agree to sleep on the couch, if they offer it. Rent a POS car, and never show anything about money.

The quickest way to end a great thing is to force any type of wedge between her and her parents. You can bring flashy gifts to christmas. You just have to make sure that they are the right flashy gifts. Spend $100 on jewelery for her mom. Earrings and a necklace. Her Dad like to Barbeque? Buy some good BBQ tools. Guys can give each other gifts. It just has to involve Flames, fuel or tools. You've got the best opportunity here, and the only way your going to screw it up is show too much flash. For instance, when you take them out to dinner, tell him it's a simple thank you for giving you the opportunity to come visit. Not "I wanted to take you out for a really good meal"

Subtle and comfortable. Smooth or slick with only alienate them. And skip the snowblower. If you were really good, you'd know their address, contact a local snowplowing company, and have it cleared the next time it snows.

romantic gifts are great at this point. Send her a beautiful snuggle blanket. One she can throw over her bed at night. Then on the night that you do get together....

And the wait is not as bad as you say it is.

Vaya con dios = Go with God. A spanish saying between friends parting.

Good luck

AO
 
Originally posted by Der Alta
Knowing Duke is the father of two girls, he'd be a bit protective and a bit pissed if you flew in one day, picked up his daughter and flew her off to Canada. Well, maybe not as much once thier both of age.

The point I was getting at, was you don't marry her, you marry her AND her family. Does she think you're "the one"? more realistically, does she know you're the one? Clear it with her father, and happily agree to sleep on the couch, if they offer it. Rent a POS car, and never show anything about money.

The quickest way to end a great thing is to force any type of wedge between her and her parents. You can bring flashy gifts to christmas. You just have to make sure that they are the right flashy gifts. Spend $100 on jewelery for her mom. Earrings and a necklace. Her Dad like to Barbeque? Buy some good BBQ tools. Guys can give each other gifts. It just has to involve Flames, fuel or tools. You've got the best opportunity here, and the only way your going to screw it up is show too much flash. For instance, when you take them out to dinner, tell him it's a simple thank you for giving you the opportunity to come visit. Not "I wanted to take you out for a really good meal"

Subtle and comfortable. Smooth or slick with only alienate them. And skip the snowblower. If you were really good, you'd know their address, contact a local snowplowing company, and have it cleared the next time it snows.

romantic gifts are great at this point. Send her a beautiful snuggle blanket. One she can throw over her bed at night. Then on the night that you do get together....

And the wait is not as bad as you say it is.

Vaya con dios = Go with God. A spanish saying between friends parting.

Good luck

AO
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I know i cant just bring her Canada, im just saying that i really want to. I know her family would be too happy if she moved right outta their life. I was thinking of renting a crappy neon to drive around.

Guys can give each other gifts. It just has to involve Flames, fuel or tools.
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Thats a good one, but its true :lol:

I just feel really bad because they are blowing ALL there savings on this trip, then they have 0$ again for 10 years, where i could pay for it and it wouldnt even empty my pockets. it hurts me to see what she i living in, they dont even have a furnace for winter time, they have no heat!!

That snow clearing idea is pretty good, as is the blanket in the mail

Im just wondering if maybe i should pack it up and move there, it would be a lot less stress on everyone.
 
Nope, I wouldn't move down there, unless she asks you too. You've both got lives that are in flux at the moment, and need to make sure that these things get accomplished before anything else.

On the part of them blowing 10 years worth of savings to take their family to Disney for a week is their perogative. They've worked hard for their money, scrimped and saved it. To have their daughters boyfriend/friend come in and pay for it all is just shy of a slap in the face. they've worked hard, and want to see the fruits of their labor. I may be reading more into this than I should, butI'm trying to cipher out what seems to be important. Also I'd hate to see anyone blow a great chance because of info I could have offered.

If it's not too forward, ask if you can book a trip to come down with them. From the sounds of it they're going anyways? with or without you? One thing you can do, if you and your assistant are good...find out what airline, what date, and upgrade their tickets to first class. When you explain to the airline agent, she's your girlfriend, and you want to do something special for her and her parents on the trip, tell the agent, with as much honesty and sincerity in your voice, that you'd like to pay for an upgrade. Likely they'll do it. Never mention a word of it to the family.

Good luck and don't let the stress get to you.

AO
 
Originally posted by Der Alta
Nope, I wouldn't move down there, unless she asks you too. You've both got lives that are in flux at the moment, and need to make sure that these things get accomplished before anything else.

On the part of them blowing 10 years worth of savings to take their family to Disney for a week is their perogative. They've worked hard for their money, scrimped and saved it. To have their daughters boyfriend/friend come in and pay for it all is just shy of a slap in the face. they've worked hard, and want to see the fruits of their labor. I may be reading more into this than I should, butI'm trying to cipher out what seems to be important. Also I'd hate to see anyone blow a great chance because of info I could have offered.

If it's not too forward, ask if you can book a trip to come down with them. From the sounds of it they're going anyways? with or without you? One thing you can do, if you and your assistant are good...find out what airline, what date, and upgrade their tickets to first class. When you explain to the airline agent, she's your girlfriend, and you want to do something special for her and her parents on the trip, tell the agent, with as much honesty and sincerity in your voice, that you'd like to pay for an upgrade. Likely they'll do it. Never mention a word of it to the family.

Good luck and don't let the stress get to you.

AO
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She did metion that she wants me to move down with her. She lives in a shared home, her with 4 girls, they all go to the same college. They all said it was cool if i came down. The problem would be that i would have to find a business school to transfer too.

She also did invite me to Disney Land with her, but I havnt heard whether her parents are okay with this idea.

I REALLY like that upgrading of the tickets thing. I want to do as much as I can to make them comfortable without being too flashy.
 
Do her parents know that she invited you down there? That's the key. if she's got roommates, you can't move in there. It really sours any other friendships fast.

Moving into an apartment can cause other rough patches. Especially at a young age. If I recall you're about 20? Which means that you could be able to live together, but it doesn't give you or her a chance to really live life on your own.

Wait until her Lease runs out before moving. I'd still recommend the long distance relationship over transfering schools. a semester before you graduate, start loking around down there for Work. Then move. That was her parents don't look at it as he moved here for her, then found a job. But instead, he planned ahead for a job, and moved here to be close to her. Subtle difference, but an important one.

Rumple said:

I REALLY like that upgrading of the tickets thing. I want to do as much as I can to make them comfortable without being too flashy.
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Lose the word 'too' from that sentence and you've got it.

I'm outta here for the weekend.

Good luck, see you Monday.

AO
 
The thing about the apartment is that all the girls there love me, and i love them. They are like sisters too me and when i call i talk to them all.
I could always build my own place ;)

anyway, thanx for the help
 
Originally posted by Rumple Foreskin


Dude, put in in a welcome thread....
anyway thanx


you have any advice meme??
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I have some words for you Andrew, forget the girl, use your hand like how I usually catch you everynight.! :p :lol:
 
Rumple - I'm going to keep contributing here enven thought you did call the Neon a POS...

AO is offering great advice. The best thing is going to be subtlety.

After the contact is established, and you are developing a relationship with their family, THEN you can start to up the ante. I understand you are eager to do something positive for them right now. But understand - almost nobody of any account considers themselves poor. If you ask almost anybody, except those at the very extremes, they'll say they are middle class. Consequently, they have a fair amount of pride in what they've been able to achieve, including blowing their life savings on a trip to Disney. I know you understand this from what you've said above, but take it to heart.

Leave the money issue totally out of the question at first. Yes, take a few nice gifts with you. Yes, take them to a nice dinner or two at Disney. But let them take you out, also. Alta's words about making it a thank you rather than a favor are incredibly true and very perceptive.
If you are able to act like it's not an issue one way or the other, then it won't be an issue. Once the relationship is established on that basis, you can begin to indulge your wishes to help them out.
 
Originally posted by Endocytosis


I have some words for you Andrew, forget the girl, use your hand like how I usually catch you everynight.! :p :lol:
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... you might wanna tell him which hand first. There are two. It might be hard trying to decide. :lol:
 
Originally posted by Endocytosis


I have some words for you Andrew, forget the girl, use your hand like how I usually catch you everynight.! :p :lol:
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:lol: :lol: :lol:
DUDE!, i swear there was a spider on in my pants, i was just trying to squish it!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

you farkin asshole, im gonna kill you when i get home :lol: :lol:
 
Originally posted by neon_duke
Rumple - I'm going to keep contributing here enven thought you did call the Neon a POS...

AO is offering great advice. The best thing is going to be subtlety.

After the contact is established, and you are developing a relationship with their family, THEN you can start to up the ante. I understand you are eager to do something positive for them right now. But understand - almost nobody of any account considers themselves poor. If you ask almost anybody, except those at the very extremes, they'll say they are middle class. Consequently, they have a fair amount of pride in what they've been able to achieve, including blowing their life savings on a trip to Disney. I know you understand this from what you've said above, but take it to heart.

Leave the money issue totally out of the question at first. Yes, take a few nice gifts with you. Yes, take them to a nice dinner or two at Disney. But let them take you out, also. Alta's words about making it a thank you rather than a favor are incredibly true and very perceptive.
If you are able to act like it's not an issue one way or the other, then it won't be an issue. Once the relationship is established on that basis, you can begin to indulge your wishes to help them out.
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thanx for the advice man, im taking this all in and then im gonna weigh everything and see what my best options are.

I only called the Neon a POS to piss off my bud Nenad (the fool who made the hand comment :rolleyes: )
I actually like the neon, quick little car
 
Originally posted by Rumple Foreskin I only called the Neon a POS to piss off my bud Nenad (the fool who made the hand comment .[/B]
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Heh, if I was really offended every time somebody called my Neon a POS, I'd have sold the thing about a month after I bought it.
:D
Anyway, good luck, and keep us posted. PM me if you feel the urge.
 
*Haven't read the entire thread.

Go out, meet women.
Don't stay in, and meet women.
Go out, to meet women.

Okay, one more time:

Meeting women. - Going out.
To meet women. - Go out.
Do not stay in. Go out.

...to a damn bar!
 
sn00p - he's already met her in 2D. Now he wants to take it 3D and go out to meet her!
 
Nuh-huh, 3D first. Use 2D to keep in touch, not to build up a passionate romance.

Nuh, ****ing, huh.
 

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