Go Bananas - The Fruit Review

Discussion in 'The Rumble Strip' started by Matej, Jun 12, 2018.

  1. Matej

    Matej Premium

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    I had a ball weeks ago reviewing my balls. The orange one I own is such a versatile little fellow, it can used for all kinds of games, those involving at last one hand being the most exciting to play.

    I thought I would stop there, but then few individuals had the balls to step forward and bring up some banana topic. I mean, how dare they talk about fruit in a thread discussing balls? What were they thinking?!

    I decided to find the answer to the question by reviewing bananas.

    Banana_peeled.jpeg
    Peel it to eat it.

    Most people eat bananas. Those that do not eat them sometimes make a living by selling them. There are people who do neither of these things, they simply don't give a damn about some yellow, crescent-shaped food. They never think about it, they never talk about it.

    But once the time comes to crack a joke, they are all over bananas as if they were monkeys hanging from trees. You see, banana is commonly used for making practical jokes. Slipping on a banana peel, banana resembling a gun and so on. Some people even find term "banana" funny as hell. Why? Why is banana such a target for comedians? Give it a break, for crying out loud, it is only a fruit!

    Next to apple, banana is the most common fruit in stores. The difference is that it doesn't come in as many colours and types as apple does. That is, unless you count the change of colour from growing period to the point when it starts to "rust". I know most people are used to yellow bananas, but I actually prefer them green, because I know they will last for longer.

    And yeah, bananas tend to rust. Like any fruit, they slowly deteriorate as you keep them exposed to everyday conditions. Soon you have no other choice but to eat them, otherwise they turn into organic waste. Sometimes the rust can cover majority of the banana peel, but the fruit inside will remain intact. These bananas are of good quality and usually taste better as well.

    Banana-peel2.jpeg
    Next time think twice before you decide to make fun of banana peel, people investigating its sliping factor earned Nobel prize in physics.


    Speaking of the peel, banana has a thick peel that has to be removed from either top or bottom of the fruit. This is not a daunting task, but it can be a messy one if inner fragments of the peel do not detach from the fruit properly. In that case you have to manually remove them, which inevitably ruins your fingers, and often the fruit itself if the fingers are not clean. Some people, of course, do not care about that, they just eat the fruit regardless of how many inner peel fragments have left on it. Good lord, why they just don't eat the entire peel?!

    Bananas are very nutritious, which would explain why you get them in hospital or restaurant. When you eat one, you actually feel that you have eaten something specific, something that has its weight, not just water. It also blends well with pears and yoghurt. I recently started consuming smoothie containing these ingredients. It is such a wonderful combination, especially when the beverage is not cold nor warm, but fresh.

    Some people prefer apples over bananas because they are lighter, more compact, and sometimes don't have to be peeled. I have to agree on that last part, but for hygienic reasons it is wise not to disregard peeling. Under these circumstances bananas have the advantage as their peel is far easier to remove.

    Banana_radio.jpeg
    Bananas are naturally radioactive, though the dose you're exposed to is allegedly harmless.

    Unlike apples, bananas come clustered. This is handy when you're holding a bag of groceries and only one of your hands is free for picking. You can grab several at once, you don't need to pick one by one like apples.

    Bananas can easily be split into pieces. Apples can do as well, but not as precisely.

    If you still think apples are better than bananas, remember what happened in the Garden of Eden, what was the forbidden fruit they ate? When a man accidentally appears in public completely naked, people disapprove this, naturally, but they always seem to point their fingers at banana, which is kinda odd, because it was apple once, that made them express such dislike. Seriously, didn't they read the story?

    As we could have seen, there is lot to be said about bananas. It's an interesting object, peculiarly shaped, with a beefy fruit. But that doesn't explain why it had to be mentioned in a thread sharing no relations to it? I mean, what does banana have to do with balls?!
     
  2. kikie

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    No, no, no, nooo bananananas. [​IMG]
     
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  3. TJ13

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    [​IMG]
     
    kolio likes this.
  4. Turbo

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    tfw you have so much time on your hands you write an 11 paragraph essay on bananas.
     
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  5. TB

    TB Moderator

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    Scales.

    Scales everywhere.
     
  6. TexRex

    TexRex

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    pe-scale-remover.jpg
     
  7. kikie

    kikie Premium

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    This is the Cavendish banana. A cultivated banana from the original bananas; Musa acuminata and the Musa balbisiana :

    [​IMG]
     
  8. W3HS

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    I just bought 2 bananas from 7-11. Oddly, Seven wrap their bananas in a plastic sheath with seems pointless since a banana has its own wrapping.

    For those who don’t like stringy bits on their banana, try opening it from the bottom (then end that doesn’t connect to the bunch), the peel should come off nicely and not leave any stringy bits behind.

    I once heard that evengelicals were claiming that bananas were proof of God in that they had been designed to fit the human hand perfectly. I can’t say I agree with the God bit but they certainly are ergonomic (bananas, not evangelicals).

    Recently while on a bike ride (bananas are good fuel for cyclists) a friend and I were discussing the level of ripeness at which a banana is most appealing. I did plan to create a scale of 1-10, 1 being green and firm, 10 being mushy and blackened/ browned, but I forgot. The way somebody likes their banana can say a lot about a person.
     
  9. kikie

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    Lou & the Hollywood Bananas.

     
  10. TexRex

    TexRex

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    I still get "stringy bits," but it's indeed the better method of peeling a banana. Not all banana stems are created equal, and some just won't separate from the big end, resulting in the top of the fruit getting smoshed. The stem also serves as a handle when you've eaten most of the fruit and want to get the last bit.

    Flinging waste is ill-advised, but it's wise to eat a banana as the primates do.
     
  11. kikie

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    If I eat a spider and a radioactive banana, do I become Spiderman?
    Or maybe getting bitten by a radioactive banana spider does the trick?
     
    Last edited: Jun 14, 2018
  12. Famine

    Famine Administrator

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    Why do all the pictures show bananas being opened the wrong way?
     
  13. W3HS

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    Banana openers aren’t selling so well on certain international markets.
     
  14. INEEDNAWZZZ

    INEEDNAWZZZ

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    Don't find this thread very apeeling...





    I'm so alone.
     
  15. Matej

    Matej Premium

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    So true, I hate when it happens. I actually prefer ripened banana, it tastes better and is much easier to peel.

    Monkey business.
     
    Last edited: Jun 22, 2018
  16. TexRex

    TexRex

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    I'm the exact opposite. My wife jokes that I don't actually like bananas, but when we have them it's because she wants to make bread (which I won't touch), and I'll sneak one or two while the ends are still green. A ripe banana has a sickly sweet taste similar to netted melons such as cantaloupe and honeydew (of which I also steer clear), and I favor a little more starchiness.

    I suppose I'm not really a big fruit eater. I do bourbon-pickled peaches and apricots, and I utilize citrus juice, but I don't exactly simply grab a piece of fruit and bite into it.

    I do enjoy my veggies and greens though.
     
  17. kikie

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  18. photonrider

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  19. kikie

    kikie Premium

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  20. kikie

    kikie Premium

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    Really? No-one wants to go bananas in this thread?
     
  21. W3HS

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    Probably naughty language in this one. I don’t know if it’s the clean version or not so I’m assuming not be on the safe side.

    You have been warned.