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Given my post was deleted and I got a 10 point infraction I will repost my advice:
Ask your neighbors if you can "hijack" their wifi for temporarily doing basic tasks. You could pay them a few pounds, too. If I were your neighbor I'd take 5 bucks a month to let some guy check his email and forums and such. It would take virtually no bandwidth and could be monitored.
Going make to practise some more on the world's tiniest violin, wish me luck! 👍
I doubt posting again is a good idea....
Sorry to hear about the problems, Golfman.