How do you make friends with an insular Chinese community.

[ExigeEvan]

Long story short, just moved into Uni accomodation and there's quite an abundant Chinese population. Of my house of 8 people, 2 (maybe 4) are Chinese. So far only 2 have moved in but we belive more are on the way. The thing is they don't speak great English (1 barely) and there's so many Chinese people are around they don't feel alone I imagine.

The difficulty is that we have communal Kitchen, washing and toilet facilities so it'd be nice to have some level of communication with them but it's proving difficult.

Now maybe they aren't bought in by all teh Freshers week activities but there doesn't seem much common ground at all.

Any experience, tips?

 

[Joey D]

What sort of Chinese are they? Han, Hmong, Yugur, etc.? You are going to have to deal with different groups in a different way as they all have different customs and beliefs. There are 56 different recognised ethnic groups in China but there are literally 100's. For some basic information on them check the wiki article:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_ethnic_groups_in_China

 

[Touring Mars]

I've been in a similar situation, after having lived with a Taiwanese couple for three years, in Uni halls of residence too... They had quite alot of Asian friends who hung out together and also they didn't drink much, and truth be told, we never became great "social" buddies - but they were very friendly and great housemates... one key aspect was food - they were forever having friends round to eat, and would frequently ask me and my other flatmates if we wanted to join them, which I often did (come on, it's free food! ) - we also had a few 'dinner parties' when folks had to prepare something from their native country (I brought beer ). BTW, this was a general thing across campus - Europeans are particularly hot on this idea, and it is a great way to meet/get to know people...

I also found myself helping them out with their written work, proof-reading, correcting English etc., and got to know what they were doing - as a result, we got to know each other pretty well, and got plenty of favours in return i.e. free software, fixing my computer when it died, beer etc., not to mention a whole new set of friends...

BTW, I also found my Taiwanese flatmates quite reticent to talk about politics or religion, esp. the China/Taiwan situation. It wasn't off-limits, but they would not stay on the topic for very long at all...

 

[ExigeEvan]

@ Joey Did you get the impression from my post that we'd had a real sit down and talk about it?

@ Mars That gives me hope. I haven't even seen them cooking yet, but then again one of my housemates I see more often of has only been cooking Microwave meals so its hardly long loitering time in the kitchen. I might have to run the dinner party thing past my house mates sometime soon, we have mostly Brits that I know of so far but I gave a random French girl a ride down to campus. Thanks 👍

 

[Robin]

I wouldnt call them "an insular chinese community" because the definition of insular means that they are some how being single minded and set in thier ways which they are not (For that matter every race is insular).

It seems that they are not being rude to you in any way its just the two cultures many not gel and they have different interests and ways of going about things. Plus the language thing but this really isnt a barrier when it comes to friendship because you can build common ground without ever understanding each other!

Firstly as Joey said, what type of Chinese are they?, are they from Hong Kong, China, Taiwan etc... because they are all very culturally different.

I would just start by introducing yourself, maybe like when all of you guys are cooking or something (eating is a great common ground!), everyone understands hello or maybe a handshake, you could ask what there making for dinner... you know just get some dialogue... if they really totally dont understand english (which I find hard to believe if they are going to be on a course) just be freindly, think of how you would act on hoilday in a place where you dont speak the language... do what you would do there!

No ones asking you to be best mates, just build stuff up slowly... if its only been like a few weeks its way too early to say that its hard building a house relationship because its will probably take like the first term or something.

Yes freshers does really help you fall into things really easy, after like the first week of being totally pissed 24-7 you suddenly feel like youve known your block mates for the whole of your life! But the foreign students dont seem to be into that, they prefer doing there own stuff which is fair enough but even asking them if they are doing something tonight, maybe telling them about stuff will help break the ice.

Basically I would advise taking a interest in what they get up to, you dont have to do anything, just ask once in a while whats going on... its a bit like people talking about the weather all the time. Actaully a good thing to do would be to have like a house party / gathering, or maybe all go out for a meal... thats what we did.

Robin

 

[ExigeEvan]

I wouldnt call them "an insular chinese community" because the definition of insular means that they are some how being single minded and set in thier ways which they are not (For that matter every race is insular).

It was only meant in that they are Chinese people socialising with only Chinese people. I'm not saying they do this in a spiteful way or anything it's just how it is.

It seems that they are not being rude to you in any way its just the two cultures many not gel and they have different interests and ways of going about things. Plus the language thing but this really isnt a barrier when it comes to friendship because you can build common ground without ever understanding each other!

Again, I know they are not being purposely rude, but by sticking well within their comfort zones and inviting many, many other people into the house who we don't know either (House is locked, Bedrooms are locked, kitchen isn't.) it is coming across as slightly rude.

Firstly as Joey said, what type of Chinese are they?, are they from Hong Kong, China, Taiwan etc... because they are all very culturally different.

I realise that, especially as I have half a dozen different English people who have so many language and cultural differences!

I would just start by introducing yourself, maybe like when all of you guys are cooking or something (eating is a great common ground!), everyone understands hello or maybe a handshake, you could ask what there making for dinner... you know just get some dialogue...

Tried, they giggled, spoke Chinese, said their names and made a mumbled excuse and left...

if they really totally dont understand english (which I find hard to believe if they are going to be on a course) just be freindly, think of how you would act on hoilday in a place where you dont speak the language... do what you would do there!

There are I believe courses spoken in Chinese, but no doubt their English will improve through the year.

No ones asking you to be best mates, just build stuff up slowly... if its only been like a few weeks its way too early to say that its hard building a house relationship because its will probably take like the first term or something.

It's only be a few days! I was just looking for tips and advice just to try and smooth things over, especially as we seem to be expecting 2 more to come.

 

[Robin]

Well things dont seem too bad Yeah the loads of randomers coming in does sounds slightly annoying I do agree and maybe you should have a word about that when you build up a better rappour with them. You have locks on doors so that should be ok. Maybe you could bring a shed load of your mates round and see how they react to it.

Well at least they said their names! its a start , you do have to remember they are in a foreign country and are probably as worried about how to interact with you as much you are with them! Gosh I sound like some wildlife presenter...

Just give it a few weeks, short of them actually doing something well out of order you just have to be civil, if the worst comes to the worst and you guys never end up interacting theres not much you can do... but im sure it wouldnt exactly be like living in hell

Robin

 

[ExigeEvan]

Mission 1: Success.

I was in the kitchen making some food, Coco walks in, I ask how she is, pleasentries are exchanged and she asks what I'm studying. I ask what she is doing, she replies, then leaves.

Baby steps people, baby steps!

 

[niky]

Food is the number one communicator with Asian cultures... and the Chinese are the best at it.

Don't become too friendly, though... two weeks in Taiwan and I came back 20 pounds more familiar with Chinese culture...

 

[YSSMAN]

As an American, living in a community that is full of immigrants be it at school, at work, or maybe just vacationers, I find it best to just be nice. Take the time to do your best to listen, even if you can't understand them easily, and try to make things seem as "normal" as possible despite the language and culture gap.

My biggest suggestion would probably be to learn a little bit of Mandarin, or whatever dialect that they speak. Perhaps if it shows that you're making an effort to adapt, that will create even more common ground on languages alone.

Side Note: I'm getting desperate to learn Mandarin, and after seeing the commercial for the program on the iPhone that translates, I'm really considering investing in books/tapes.