If there's a hell, and you wind up going there, what are you stuck driving?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Balocco
  • 109 comments
  • 11,003 views
Don't know, I always thought in hell we would just be walking around on this.

firewalker2.jpg


Seems this people are in a hurry to get there.

 
Famine
Come on, just look at it:

beige_ital.jpg

Click to expand...

I'll take one in beige with a tan leather retrimmed interior decked over some Minilites thanks.
I love crap old cars being turned into all show no go cruisers.
 
I prefer them turned into 1,427 Dr. Pepper cans.

Or preserved in original condition, as a warning to future generations.
 
If you're goin' to hell, why not try to fit in with everyone else? :lol:

free_candy_van.jpg


But a car that would be hell for me to drive?

1958zanndapp-janus.gif


Just look at how close the steering wheel is the windshield. Hell would be driving that in stop and go So Cal. traffic and hitting my head on the windshield every few seconds :dunce:

Jerome
 
jacoja06
If I drove to hell, the skin-tearing thing would be a lot less painful then driving this… The lovely Hyandai Excel. Maybe in that Gumby purple colour, with the fancy colour vinyls on the side… and faded bumpers.
If it broke down along the way, then they’ll probably have a Mazda 121 bubble for a replacement vehicle.

1_600.jpg
Click to expand...

Going to have to go with a +1 on the Excel here, closely followed by the Kia Rio. These two are probably the most riced and most rubbish Korean cars in Australia.
 
Chevy Aveo. Seriously the worse car I've ever driven, even worse than the Kia Rio which I didn't think could ever be topped.

To make it worse I think it would have to have chrome spinner hubcabs, painted red with a bunch of Ohio State stickers on it, and have 3 blown speak with one pumping out the most awful county in the entire world (we'll go with Taylor Swift). For good measure too it'd have to have three really fat ugly chicks in the car too and no A/C so they'd be all sweaty and gross. Oh and I think to top it all off I'd have to drive it on a road full of drivers from Ohio, Illinois and Indiana and never be able to go faster then 5mph under the speed limit.

That would be my own personal hell.
 
Danoff
..picture of a school bus a couple posts up..[/img]

Children included
Click to expand...

That's the first suggestion to actually make me shudder and wince. You win, good sir. 👍
 
I see what you did there Joey ;) But I think you mean country and not county :lol:
 
You want to talk about hell the entire highway would be like the chicago loop on a monday morning...
 
98_chrysler_sebring_conv_jxi.jpg


Chrysler Sebring Convertible. The highway has to uneven, choppy, and more than enough to unsettle the car as it is one of the most rubbery cars I've ever driven (not including the interior). The seats are uncomfortable, the steering is always too light, and things are always outrageously unpredictable in there.

All of that, and I'll take a page from Joey's book, having to follow drivers from Ohio and Indiana. Worse yet, they'll all have McCain/Palin and other Conservative mumbo-jumbo on the back. Each of them will be doing ten under the in the left lane, and never signal to change lanes. And behind me? Brand-new Toyotas. Just waiting to "unintendedly accelerate" up my ass.
 
I would have thought everybody in the UK would have followed Amsterdam's example and thrown all the G-Wiz' in the Thames or something. And "electrocuted all the fish".
 
I just thought of an even worse highway to hell car:

A 1 liter 3 cylinder Geo Metro hatchback with a 3 speed automatic transmission. Only first gear is available, the exhaust system is nowhere to be found, all 4 tires are flat, and the radio only plays Hannah Montana and Taylor Swift. :crazy:
 
Last edited:
Probably a Vauxhall Corsa, like the one I learned to drive in.

Once I'd settled into hell though, I'd work on stealin' the keys to an old Z4, apparentley you can beat the devil with one of those things.
 
homeforsummer
There is no car ever built that is worse than public transport, so the only way the Devil could punish me is by not letting me drive at all.
Click to expand...

I must disagree. I'd much rather be on a train with a book than in niky's 3 wheeled Matiz.

Not that I'd be on a train with a book. I'd be on the roof of a train with 300 other people, I imagine.

magicalgin
nissanmicrapink1500.jpg

Enough said.
Click to expand...

My sister bought one of those, not in pink unfortunately - at least that would have been amusing. It's floppier than that Photoshopped Allegro would ever be.
 
B13 sentra
250px-Nissan_Sentra_E_sedan.jpg

The 1.4, not the one with the SR20
 
This. I'm assuming the highway to (in?) hell isn't glassy smooth etc.
kyon1.jpg
 
Joey D
Chevy Aveo. Seriously the worse car I've ever driven, even worse than the Kia Rio which I didn't think could ever be topped.

To make it worse I think it would have to have chrome spinner hubcabs, painted red with a bunch of Ohio State stickers on it, and have 3 blown speak with one pumping out the most awful county in the entire world (we'll go with Taylor Swift). For good measure too it'd have to have three really fat ugly chicks in the car too and no A/C so they'd be all sweaty and gross. Oh and I think to top it all off I'd have to drive it on a road full of drivers from Ohio, Illinois and Indiana and never be able to go faster then 5mph under the speed limit.

That would be my own personal hell.
Click to expand...

That's torture!:scared:

If the radio only played this I would commit suicide by the 4th hour.
 
Tricky one, knowing full well the Allegro and Pacer are crap i do have to admit i actually quite like them for being quirky and sort of charming and at least they don't look like anything else.
Balocco, agree the Arna is without a doubt the worst car ever to sport an Alfa-badge and the Minor/Ital is best left forgotten.

Could have named some more recent offerings from both Porsche and Ferrari for being hideous to look at in my opinion, but they might actually be great to drive and therefor unsuitable for this thread.
Was thinking of putting in some nondescript models out of the ranges Kia, Daewoo or Hyundai have to offer for being boring faceless and uninteresting to drive or look at, but at least they're not offensive and serve a purpose for being the own-brand of the automotive world for those not interested in cars besides mere transport.

So here it is, a Lancia Lybra, it looks awkward from most angles, dull in profile, and is unworthy of wearing the proud Lancia badge.
The most painful thing about it is not just looking wrong and almost nondescript apart from those bug-eyed headlamps, but it seems they've actually tried to make an effort somewhere halfway during the design process.
At least those Korean brands didn't try to make it interesting and the Allegro and Pacer took their wackiness to extremes.
Buying this suggest some brand-conciousness and trying to be "interesting" but not really getting it.:)

Lancia_Lybra.jpg
 
Last edited:
Dragonistic
G-Wiz.
Click to expand...

I take back my previous comment. Any car is better than walking in sandals. But walking in sandals is slightly better than getting there by G-Wiz...
 
Thus, I wait for misnblu...
 
After doing some thinking I think most of us have been doing this wrong. The correct car would be a Bugatti Veyron, but not any Veyron, this one.

bugatti-veyron-lake-crash.jpg


Clearly a crappy car that runs would be better than a dream car that doesn't even turn over.
 
a 1998 Mitsubishi Eclipse ragtop.
 
Daimler Motor Carriage. Up mountains.
 
Back