letter i got from my church, about "being gothic", hilarious

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This was an actual letter sent out by the St. Mary's Church.

If Your Child is a Gothic, Reform Through the Lord!

Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your child may
have
gone astray from the Lord.

Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that
young teenagers are prone to participating in. The gothic culture
leads
young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil, darkness,
and
violence. Please seek immediate attention through counselling,
prayer,
and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if
five
or more of the following are applicable to your child:

-Frequently wears black clothing.

-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.

-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.

-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include:
reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other
Satanic
worshipping symbols.

-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.

-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn
Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the
Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)

-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.

-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the
Bible,
prayer, church or sports.

-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult,
witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.

-Takes drugs.

-Drinks alcohol.

-Is suicidal and/or depressed.

-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation.
(This
is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God
and
His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local
mental
health center.)

-Complains of boredom.

-Sleeps too excessively or too little.

-Is excessively awake during the night.

-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to
vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)

-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.

-Spends large amounts of time alone.

-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may
speak
to evil sprits through meditation.)

-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an
adult.

-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are
but a few examples of this.

-Misbehaves at school.

-Misbehaves at home.

-Eats excessively or too little.

-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.

-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires
believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and
should be stopped immediately.)

-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask
your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)

-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.

-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the
computer.

-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.

-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.

-Expresses an interest in sex.

-Masturbates

-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.

-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism,
Scientology,
Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.

-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various
phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".

-Claims to be a goth.

If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene
immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within
it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your
local
mental health center.

~St. Mary's Catholic Church


...some of those things have NOTHING to do with being gothic.
If that's true, then 3/4 of people are gothic :lol: :lol: :lol:
 
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.

-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires
believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and
should be stopped immediately.)

-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask
your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)

-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.

-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the
computer.

-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.

-Expresses an interest in sex.

-Masturbates

-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.

-Claims to be a goth.

I especially like those ones.
 
Gotta love the powers of beliefs... :rolleyes:

Just realised that I'm pretty Goth myself, even though I should be a bit above that "acceptable for Goth" age 👍
 
i dont really kno if im goth because its really all a stereotype...i mean i wear more black than some people and listen to "that" kind of music but im still just a regular joe like anyone else....i just have a different taste in some things that other people, i dont worship Satan or anything (though i dont believe in god either....i just got that letter from my freind's local church....)
 
That's got to be fake. Are they saying we can't even express feelings about sex? That's just insane. It's kind of funny how the priests of that particular religion are infamous for violating some of those warning signs.
 
Joecool593
-Drinks alcohol.

-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.

-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources.

No more drink, cereal or TV for anyone? :irked:

Joecool593
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the
computer.

So are all GTP'ers goths?
 
I Googled this and tried to find a snopes article, found none.

It appears overly Puritanical, from my browsing of the supposedly official letter, for modern Catholicism.

It does not specify which St Mary's it's from.

This almost assuredly is a fake written either by a humorist, a goth or empathiser of goths.

The google hits, from what I looked through, brought no church websites when told to include "goth" within the first 4 pages, indicating to me that this is just a joke letter.
 
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts. (guilty)

-Complains of boredom. (I'm bored all the time)


-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to
vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.) (its hot in Texas)

-Spends large amounts of time alone. (when I'm annoyed)

-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may
speak
to evil sprits through meditation.) (sleeping maybe?)


-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this. (it count chocula, I think )(sp?)

-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask
your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.) (cartoons, music videos?)

-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature. (FF, GTA, goths are gamers?)

-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the
computer. (guilty by almost everyone on this site)

- violently shakes head to music. (c'mon thats fun)

WTF? does that mean. I'm not a goth. but I do about 10 of those things. Silverzone's not a goth.
 
Joecool593
This was an actual letter sent out by the St. Mary's Church.

-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.

-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the
Bible,
prayer, church or sports.

-Complains of boredom.

-Sleeps too excessively or too little.

-Is excessively awake during the night.

-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to
vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)

-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.

-Spends large amounts of time alone.

-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may
speak
to evil sprits through meditation.)

-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an
adult.

-Eats excessively or too little.


-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask
your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)

-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.

-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the
computer. .


-Masturbates


If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene
immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within
it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your
local
mental health center.

~St. Mary's Catholic Church



Damn, I must be a leader in a goth community or something.
 
Frequently wears black clothing. Black is a cool colour...

-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.

-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.

-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include:
reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other
Satanic
worshipping symbols.

-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.

-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn
Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the
Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)

-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.

-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the
Bible,
prayer, church or sports. Sports suck... Bible bores me.

-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult,
witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.

-Takes drugs.

-Drinks alcohol.

-Is suicidal and/or depressed.

-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation.
(This
is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God
and
His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local
mental
health center.)

-Complains of boredom.

-Sleeps too excessively or too little.

-Is excessively awake during the night.

-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to
vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.) Haha - I complain about that bright thing in the sky.

-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.

-Spends large amounts of time alone.

-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may
speak
to evil sprits through meditation.)

-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an
adult. ...Damnit....

-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are
but a few examples of this.

-Misbehaves at school. Well... Its fun...

-Misbehaves at home.

-Eats excessively or too little.

-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this. What the hell!? That Count Chocula kicks ass!

-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires
believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and
should be stopped immediately.)

-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask
your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)

-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature. So... Killing in video games is entertaining...

-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the
computer. Bastards... I'm on this computer all the time.

-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.

-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.

-Expresses an interest in sex.

-Masturbates Gee... I thought men are supposed to do that..

-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.

-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism,
Scientology,
Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.

-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various
phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth". I have a pin that says "Poke me and see what I say." Does that count?

-Claims to be a goth.
 
Darin
I refuse to play in sports... I guess I'm gothic.

no your probably just grossly overwieght :p



j/k j/k



that letter is definately fake. but according to it i'm a satan worshiper! YAY for Beelzabub!!!
 
It's just me, but I'm not very fond of people wearing alot of white makeup and black lipstick, black clothes, and black eyes. :scared: Just scares the **** out of me.
 
sUn
It's just me, but I'm not very fond of people wearing alot of white makeup and black lipstick, black clothes, and black eyes. :scared: Just scares the **** out of me.

I need a trench coat....
 
Silverzone
yeah, I'm sure you would hate the sun anymore with all black on and a trench coat. :lol:

I could fight the sun in a battle and I could dodge the sun's UV-A and UV-B rays while doing the Matrix...
 
-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism,
Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.
Interesting to note that all Philosophy, from Aristotle through Plato through Kant through Nietsche through Sartre through Derrida is now considered a "dangerous cult religion".

I'm with Talentless, though; this thing stinks of fakeness.
 
neon_duke
Interesting to note that allI'm with Talentless, though; this thing stinks of fakeness.
Sure it's fake, but it's rather funny. And even if it's true, it's still funny.

If Buddhism is Goth, then why doesn't the Dali Lama wear black?
 
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