My insanely* funny/weird online race piccies!

Cheers. ;)

Hokey Pokey, it's that time of week again - goody goody gum drops!
To add a taste of french vanilla to the mix, here are the photos from last weeks race. No idea who is who for the most part, so i'll probably make it up. And i've also covered all three official races in a mint flavoured topping an.. uh, i mean covered all three races, while only taking pics from the first lap each time.

Early in the morning of Thursday the 28th of August 2014, at about 8:30pm, we all gathered around the start line at Laguna Seca. Since we all reside in New Zealand, it was a bit of a trek, and some of us took the long way and got rather wet (it was later we found out that we could have used a plane or a boat).


It was only the front runners who had colour cars, as the rest of us couldn't afford it. Funnily enough, the black and white cars were the ones that drove from New Zealand to California.


These two cars are orange and red. Well, ones orange and one is red. The front one being red and not orange, and the back one being orange and not red. Which means that the oran.... oh for crying out loud, just look at the picture!


The camerapersonmanwomanthing was bored while waiting for us to arrive up the hill, so started taking photos of anything. This is a miniature forest. Or a full sized forest if you're a spider. Are you a spider? How many words per minute can you do?


Finally a couple of cars turned up, so he/she/it took a photo of them.


Then he started running after them to grab this photo.


But then she tripped on her undone shoelace and snapped this photo as she landed.
 
Later in the day, about 10-15 seconds after the last photo was taken, it grabbed a photo of this car. Well, it took the photo first, then it somehow grabbed it with its hand despite it being in a virtual digital camera in a virtual game. Bah, it doesn't matter. No not that it, it it. No, it. The other it. It isn't a laughing matter. IT, isn't not IT. IT! GGGGRRRRR!!!! The other freaking IT! I.T.! Not IT!! BLLLLLAAAARRRRRGGGGG!!!!!!!! *APLODES*


After a few more hours, the last two cars (probably) finally conquered the corkscrew. Because they were the same colour as the surroundings though, they kept bumping into things. THIS IS WHY COLOUR WAS INVENTED.


Meanwhile elsewhere in the world, two of the other cars (a colour one and a poor uncolour one) got lost and somehow ended up in a cities botanical gardens.


The winner of the race (well, the first lap anyway) was a racer from Renaults Team Lotus in the Gran Turismo Red Bull Junior car. Due to a confusing naming system, and manufacturer double ups, the car was never produced in a road legal version. The situation is still with the justice system in the courts, 17 months later. Although the confusion has played a part in that too. They're using tennis courts...


Volkswagen also laid a claim to the car - which obviously didn't help the situation, and resulted in another law suit. Yeah you got it, they got confused again. The 'lawsuit' is still at the tailors waiting to be adjusted...


After eight weeks, or maybe eight minutes (quite similar, so hard to tell which was longer) all of the racers, and the non racers (?), turned up on the other side of the world again, this time at Silverstone in the United Kingdom of silver stones (just a guess?). But they'd got the wrong track, so ended up driving ALL the way to *censored* where Grand Valley Speedway is located.
This is what happened at the first corner. Shocking, i know.


Not everybody bothered to clean their car, and the front runners were running quite rich, leaving disgusting smoke in their trail.
 
After everyone stopped at the temporary pit stop on the first corner (which included a free car wash by the local kids who were fundraising for their school - it wasn't thought through very well by the organiser...) the cars were running much better, looking much better and sounding much better. If you can't hear them, please keep increasing the volume on your speakers until you can.


The leader of the race was incredibly focussed, more so than anyone else. Yes, i know i've used that joke before, but YOU try come up with something sharper. HA! Got you again! :P


The main motivation for the drivers to continuously drive is the fear that the bull will give them a new head ornament, or hornament if you want to be more accurate.


While one car tried to disguise itself as a mountain on the side of the track, another car carried on into the impending storm


Sadly, the driver of this car had failed to put oil in it and that has resulted in the engine blowing. Instead, he'd put oil all over it. Probably in frustration after failing to find the engine bay.


This car was storming away from the field. But had somehow picked up a light pole which was now attached to the car behind the drivers head.


When cars of the same colour race together, they get an extra 10% boost in speed, and 42 per cent of the race winnings from the winner. If they win instead, they get nothing. It isn't an ideal system, but what can you do!
 
A massive chunk of the sales of these prototype cars actually got sold to farmers and the like, to be used to cut their wheat fields, grassy paddocks and such.


These cars were going the right way.


Even after the bored officials quickly fuzzed out the arrows.


All the bulls were attached to cars today, leaving the paddocks empty and bear. I mean beer. Bair? *sigh*


The Red Bull driver gives a friendly nod and a wave to the idiotic cameraman standing on the track.


After yet another trip to the United Kingdom of united kings, the racers once again needed a clean. That shortcut through the siberian tar pit wasn't such a good idea after all.


The grass cutters were still quite bunched up during the first lap.
 
Back to normality!!! SkylineObsession is sideways! While someone is racing dirty in the background.


The black McLaren and the red Ferrari cars continued the confusing array of manufacturers claiming to 'own' the Gran Turismo Red Bull Junior cars.


The red cars decided to join forces thinking that the combined power would help them take the win. But they didn't know that red cars are only faster when it is a red car, not a red twocarsjoinedtogethertomakeoneredcar.


This car was painted with the same colours as the Silverstone pit complex. Which you'd see if you actually looked at the picture instead of reading this. Aaaannnd yet you're still reading. Still reading. Still... Do you even care about the photo? Well it's not obvious, as you're plainly not looking at the image. I know for a fact you're still reading this.

Can't help yourself can you, you're still reading this text! In doing so you completely missed the picture, it is right above this sentance...

The creepy car stalker was hiding in the shadows in order to snap a photo of the top secret race cars which had already travelled pretty much around the world despite being top secret. But then he got discovered...


By this guy. Who promptly stopped the race, leaving the New Zealanders stranded in the UK. Can they make it back to NZ before next Thursday? Are they going to drive back or fly/ship back? What should i have for lunch today, and how much should i spend? How many eggs can fit into an egg basket? Why are there so many questions and not enough photos?
 

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