Nothing like a well-narrated race...

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Evil_Stig
These shots are from an otherwise unremarkable online race between my brother and I.

I had the questionable idea to write captions, ask Babel Fish to translate the captions to Japanese, and then copy the result and ask it to re-translate back to English. The results were, um, interesting:


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:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
 
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Just quickly ran one of my old reports through bablefish. Probably just as funny in regular english considering how poorly written it is... (my old username was MINICOOPER120)

Mini Short Report: Club "Z" to - the Good Ol'240ZG


Minicooper Welcome Friends, "a short report!"
All the time, but I do Gran Turismo 4 is done with a simple report in a race. It is always the arcade mode, sometimes it's one of the modes are not the GT.

Today, I have it, the Nissan in an attempt to beat the new limits for the more advanced 240ZG press. As I was writing to drive it, please enjoy reading it as possible!

Race:
It, 123 à - specification point was an incredible race. They are old and slow, after all - - but I'm new cars, especially 350Zs, I knew to be the real challenge will be easy to beat if you know some car Ma****a. Location: グランドバレースピードウェイリバース. This track seems simple enough strait my opponent is a big advantage we have. So who, let us get this show on the road?

I read the first 10 seconds of the first two cars, the '68 red and white '78. Before I have to use the brakes, I made top 104 miles per hour. I would start to accelerate again, I know where the exchange of gold and purple. As I approached I please see that they are braking very early. I was in the car brake late, I know I must be careful. I have a lot of time over this left-hander has upset the balance of the car spin.

This does not occur and I happily take line Z Fri to pass out, it puts me in the inside line through the next corner. I have a purple in. 300ZX past, we replace the paint a little, please.

Z exchange where the blue is nice - I want to pass the last car - luckily in the excesses before and is not. I have to take a careful cleaning, I have become a little faster. Falls below 70, I maintained a steady grip on the wheel, please try to avoid any signs of understeer. Cross the bridge, he has less than a second, more than half are very close.

I bit through the corners of the tunnel, so I went wide to keep my hopes. Blue Z, through the next section, the above, I have a plan ...

Right next to the brake and I was almost late, but hit a wall, Z, make sure that you are not getting much farther. In the second half, brake, I decided to close contacts. I'm whole again, like going to know to pass him. Kurosakurosakurosa.

Do their work through the left side of the bumper is attached to us. I get a better exit, start thinking about the next hairpin. Right after, he was 0.463 seconds ahead. I am now getting closer to the very slow and I can put my plan into action.

Late braking for the hairpin, giving me a great outlet Z is still ahead. I'm not that far behind, at least he is, please keep slipstream. 105 ... 106 ... 107 ... I know he will tap the brakes, hold me down to my feet. I would start inching ahead of him, hairpin left-hander is coming ...

You guessed it ... brakes again later! I'm just not in the top floor the gas, but most go in the grass, I will hold my ground, will start moving a little faster than the car behind. I am the less I have seen in the blue mirror, from my experience, he is fast, knows this. It seems to me you need me to hang on to win the lead, which would be close.

I line up to more than .091 seconds ahead, it is still one lap. Mild fine-tuning can be a convenient opportunity of my rear bumper. Braking point we will close our Ito Kon, Z will take the lead away again, I can still do it ...

Quick tap of the brakes, but I passed him again, but it will not last very long. Pedal to the metal, and I try to block, I was 100 kg, almost lost my concentration to get a different pressure. Over the next two corners I powerslide as surprised as I was rear-view mirror and notice something - gold and purple Zs is not far behind. In fact, they are to me the blue one is closer to blue. I hold my lead to them all.

Since I have trouble looking at tunnel, I carefully cleaned up, take the following. The next sector that I 0.637 seconds ahead. As they were on my knees in front of your rivals as approx.

If I have a chance, but I'm still ahead, but I also must extend the lead still me. I'm slow Strait, from this point I'm sure that this is close - I try not to mess a long time ...

In the next section of fermentation, all I can think of is that he get to me. I have to concentrate, do not have time to check. I cross the brakes right next to concrete. Hairpin that is coming, he is still right behind me. But I never made him both had a chance to get any farther ahead. The distance between us has changed almost half lap. Let's the way I hope it is available.

At the time I reach three colors you can see behind me I'm clean. "You are way, in going to catch me there. Stay behind me. The back of my stay. Please, stay behind me! I which I knew at the last turn of the race The brakes were applied to evaluate the position before I thought too busy ... so I brake late.

Very slow.

"AhhhHHHHhhhhhh! Wow!" This is also, I track, let alone still alive and could not believe it, go very wide, it was scary. However, I was standing position. Exit poor, yes, I was still ahead ... yet.

Z fast behind me, but I knew it. He knew if he wins it too, he was in my face, it's going to rub it. Heck, it'll rub my face in his only win. But if I win ... well, just think, I beat him he is still fast. Is not that great.

Ruh Roh said. He is closer than the second front. He has become almost. If he beat me again, my bumper will fall. I hope for the best, trying to overcome it. Now I can not see him again in the mirror is not his. He is right next to, I can feel it. He is a forward or right? Now he must. Why I can see him yet? Maybe he is as fast as I thought not. Maybe he is a fool of me. Well, I'm not not make me ... It can not happen, just how are all his ...

The buh - da the da, buh Dadada of the buh - daaaaa ...
 
:odd:

This makes me wonder what this would be like through Google Translate instead... :lol:
The original was "Closer CLOSER CLOSER!" and that was through google translate. Form what I've seen babelfish can be much worse.
 
Good god this is absolutely hilarious and one of the few times i have LOL'd loudly, seriously this is excellent. full of potential meme material, especially the final pic! :lol:
 
Any chance we can get the original commentary? Would be just as funny to find out what it's supposed to be saying. :D
 
Any chance we can get the original commentary? Would be just as funny to find out what it's supposed to be saying. :D

Unfortunately I didn't keep the exact wording, but I think I can give you the gist of it. (In most cases I tried different variations until I got something genuinely funny, rather than something merely awkward or nonsensical.)

Anyway, very approximately, they are:

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Jeff takes an early lead. Ricky's car looks like it wants something to eat.


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Ricky makes a dicey pass at the first corner, trying to move into first.


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Jeff curses out loud, but gets behind.


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Ricky gets so far ahead, the competition looks tiny.


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Now the gap is a bit smaller; Jeff is closing in.


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Jeff drives dirty, punting Ricky into the guard rail.


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Ricky's car is looking a bit shabby, like it was beaten with the ugly stick.


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Ricky rounds the corner.


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Jeff is still driving too aggressively, and plants it right in Ricky's fender.


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Yep, that's where he planted it.


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Honestly, I haven't a clue. Explosion stripe??? WTF :lol:


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Ricky really wants to get back in first.


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Jeff notices a big ugly smear on his car.


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On the final turn, Ricky makes his move.


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Coming up on the finish line, these drivers are neck and neck!


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Ricky has a nice burst of speed.


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LOL. Just LOL. Wish I could remember what I wrote. Obviously Ricky won by a pretty wide margin and did a fancy e-brake spin over the finish line. What Babel Fish thinks happened, I have no idea :lol:


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Sadly Ricky won, but at least he is on fire.



That should give you a rough idea. Hopefully some of you guys will try making your own when you have a chance, this was really fun! Quick tip: if Babel Fish generates a funny phrase but it's buried in a pile of nonsense words, don't be afraid to prune it down a bit. The point is to make it fun, not accurate. Heh.
 
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