I've been playing racing games for almost 25 years now. Everything from arcade racers to hardcore sims. The thing is, over time you realize everything is just variations on a theme. It's just cars going round tracks (or in the case of open world games, cities). Every new game, every new console, brings shinier graphics and new cars, new locales. But at the heart the gameplay is still the same. Sure you get occasional "innovations" (or as I like to call them, gimmicks). But ultimately they are just superficial dressing. If the core of the game is bad it won't save it. On the other hand you can have a barebones driving sim but with good physics and moddability it becomes a sandbox where anyone can make their own "perfect" game (e.g. rFactor, AC). Devs are limited by time and budget. Modders are not.
So moral of the story is no game will ever be perfect and have everything that YOU want. No matter how much you complain on forums or ask for a reset (hello PCARS 3). You just pick one of the offerings on the market and learn to live with the good and bad sides. OR you pick one of the open modding platforms and painstakingly build your own car/track collection, with the caveat that the rest of the game will probably be quite barebones.
At the moment I'm split between GT and AC. I play GT for the graphics, photomode, tuning and online racing (since it won't break the bank like iRacing). I play AC for the modding sandbox aspect, testing out cars, new tracks and cruising big open world maps like Shuto Expressway or LA Canyons. Occasionally I play arcade racers like NFS or GRID for a few months just for variety, but they never hold my attention for long (combination of unsatisfying physics, crappy grind, and been there done that feeling). Driveclub was fun, but the studio is dead (thanks Sony). TDU and Crew has even worse physics and I've been turned off the series entirely. FM is pretty much GT but with slightly different physics and car/track list, and I'm not going to buy an Xbox just for one game. There are lots of other sims on PC like rF2/Raceroom/AMS, but again they all lack identity and apart from the cars and tracks (which I can mod into AC), they have nothing special to offer either. Yearly racers like F1 and WRC are just a waste of money unless you're a diehard follower. Offroad games like DIRT and Dakar are too specific. Kids games like Hot Wheels and Lego are fun, but the MTX is just too egregious. That just leaves oddball racers like Wreckfest and Trackmania. Great games in their own right, but not my main cup of tea for long term play. Back in PS3 days there were more innovative titles like Blur and Split/Second, but with game development costing more these days no one is willing to take a risk (see what happened to Onrush).
Overall, if you want a "perfect" game, you just have to pick 1-2 main game that suits your needs as close as possible. And then just play a wide variety of racers around it to fill in the gaps. Don't stress too much about wanting this or that. One day your favourite game might include the one car or track that you want, or it might never come. Complaining on the forum won't make a difference. Or just like me, you can try and find a mod for it in AC
