Petty revenge, never felt so good.

[ExigeEvan]

So my lovely housemates have enjoyed playing Canto-pop loudly for much of the year, including the night before I have exams and just midweek in general. I've always wanted some revenge rather than just stopping it by turning off their power.

Now they all sleep very late into the day, and untill now I haven't been able to get revenge because I didn't want to inconvenience my other housemates.

Well today's different. Spotify, The Prodigy and speakers at full volume.

Mission - Success.


So, anyone else a fan of the occasional petty revenge? Or am I just the lesser man?

 

[TheCracker]

So my lovely housemates have enjoyed playing Canto-pop loudly for much of the year, including the night before I have exams and just midweek in general. I've always wanted some revenge rather than just stopping it by turning off their power.

Now they all sleep very late into the day, and untill now I haven't been able to get revenge because I didn't want to inconvenience my other housemates.

Well today's different. Spotify, The Prodigy and speakers at full volume.

Mission - Success.


So, anyone else a fan of the occasional petty revenge? Or am I just the lesser man?

I did something similar to the couple who lived in the flat above my girlfriend/now wife's first flat. They constantly played their music loud at unsociable hours, even after i repeatedly went round and asked them to turn it down (why do people like that always have atrocious taste in music?). In the end we placed one of our own speakers on top of a bookcase, facing upwards, in the living room and the other on top of a wardrobe in the bedroom early one Saturday morning, knowing they'd been up until the early hours the night before and that one of them had work on Sunday. I then put on Higher State of Consciousness by Josh Wink (a rather repetitive acid house track with loads of screeching Roland 202 action 👍 ) turned up the volume and went out for the day, not returning until much latter on that evening. It did the trick.

 

[Famine]

I played the long game for my revenge. It was intensely petty and quite majestically epic.


Essentially, I had a couple of weeks off work. There's now, in the public sector in the UK, a whole bunch of rules regarding this and other things, as part of a piece of legislative nonsense called "The Agenda for Change". One of these is a "Return to Work Interview" whereby, if you've been off and covered by a medical certificate, your "line manager" (boss) has a brief, confidential chat with you to check you're okay to come back.

My boss then told everyone he could find exactly why I was off work. This didn't amuse me.

Now, my job was kind of a pivotal one. If I didn't do something, it affected pretty much everything above and below me. I was also one of about 5 people from 200 employed there who worked full time - it was a school, so almost everyone was term-time only and/or part time (including teachers). And, as luck would have it, there was also something pretty crucial I had lined up to do with regards to a new syllabus for one entire yeargroup.

So, the summer holidays came, and all the teachers escaped to wherever they were going without having to give the school a single thought for the next 5 weeks - until the GCSE results came in at the end of August. I went into work the next day, as a full-timer. And I wrote my resignation, giving FOUR weeks' notice, as stated in my contract, from day 1 of the summer holidays and put it into the head's (principal's) pigeonhole.

Since there was no-one there - literally, no-one came in to even see how I was - I just kicked back for the next 4 weeks doing absolutely nothing. I even took the PS2 into work and played GT4 in my large office (with microwave, hot water urn, toaster, giant TV [for previewing tapes and DVD editing]).


Now, I'm told that when my boss came into "work" on the day the GCSE results appeared (from his holiday in Tenerife) to find that nothing at all had been prepared for the next school year, couldn't find me and then found out that I had resigned completely legally and within the bounds of my contract (the same day the Head found out - because she'd swanned off for 5 weeks too) he wasn't particularly happy.

I received a number of e-mails from former colleagues and friends who congratulated me - even colleagues from the same department, who my inactions and his reactions had directly affected - on pulling an absolute masterstroke on this buffoon (he's a good head of department, but a very tiresome person). One even commented that they wish they had the cojones to do something similar. I'm told they went another 3 months without someone to replace me (and we were already short-handed)

The picture I have in my head of his reaction when he realised that I wasn't there, there was nothing ready and there was nothing he could do about it makes me chuckle to this day. I also managed to get one over on my junior colleague who resented me being there - but I imagine not quite as much as she resented me leaving as she was directly in the firing line and probably overworked to the point of complete exhaustion to take up the slack.


Revenge is a dish best served flaming hot with shrapnel.

 

[Omnis]

The only thing I can think of is when my stupid neighbors dropped all this sticky red crap (juice? I don't know) all over in front of my door on our condo floor. I spent 5 minutes scrubbing it up and cleaning it off. About a minute or two later, they all come out with rollerblades and each one of them busted their butts on the wet, clean floor. I looked outside and had a laugh.

 

[Boffin]

One Friday, I was brushing my teeth late at night when I heard some drunks coming up the road. I went to get a view of what they were doing - running on cars in the street. My car was in the garage, so it was safe - but I was still angry at what they were doing.

Next Friday afternoon, I catch my neighbour (who's car got run on) spraying vasilene on his car to grease it up. We exchanched chuckles.

I was brushing my teeth that night when I hear the drunken shouts again...only this time it was music to my ears. I got ready with the best view of the house and I saw the blokes running on the cars untill they got to my neighbour's where they completely stacked it. Thankfully they fell on the nature strip (no one wanted them to get hurt - just to learn a lesson) and we found them asleep in the gutter next day where my neighbour gave a strong talking to them.

They haven't appeared since.

 

[beer-2k]

I did something similar to the couple who lived in the flat above my girlfriend/now wife's first flat. They constantly played their music loud at unsociable hours, even after i repeatedly went round and asked them to turn it down (why do people like that always have atrocious taste in music?). In the end we placed one of our own speakers on top of a bookcase, facing upwards, in the living room and the other on top of a wardrobe in the bedroom early one Saturday morning, knowing they'd been up until the early hours the night before and that one of them had work on Sunday. I then put on Higher State of Consciousness by Josh Wink (a rather repetitive acid house track with loads of screeching Roland 202 action 👍 ) turned up the volume and went out for the day, not returning until much latter on that evening. It did the trick.

thumbs up...👍👍
"...CaaaaAAAaaan't uuuUUUUUUuuu taaaaaaaaake meee on a HIIIGHEER staaate of Consciousness."

 

[wfooshee]

Before we bought our house we had a downstairs apartment. The girls upstairs, or at least one of them, either had several boyfriends or was "working nights." 1AM, 2AM, 3AM, bedpost banging the wall, springs squeaking, grunting, moaning, screaming. Every night. Complained to the neighbor, complained to the office, nothing.

Come home one evening, found her car parked diagonally across two spaces, and the parking lot is otherwise completely filled. I have to park across the street. I left a note in the car about how she's the grand prize winner for inconsiderate neighbors, what with the noise every night, now the selfish parking.

Turns out the car wasn't hers, it was her roommate's, who was actually underage. The roomie's parents found the note, packed her up and brought her home. The "working girl" couldn't afford the apartment by herself (apparently her rates were too low) and had to move out as well. She came to the door yelling at me about how I'd ruined her life forever, a gentleman doesn't leave stuff like that in a lady's car. My only answer was that a "lady" doesn't bang her headboard against the wall all night.

The block was much quieter after that.

I don't know about the service conditions of a dish of revenge, cold, scorching, whatever. I just know that properly served, it's quite satisfying.

 

[prisonermonkeys]

Lately I've been getting prank phone calls in the middle of the night from someone in my college. It's not really a big deal because you can take the phone off the hook or disconnect it and they can't call. But I hate doing that because if - heaven forbid - something bad happens back at home and my parents need to contact me, I'm incommunicado because there's no mobile reception in the area. So the prank calls from "Ian from Telstra" at all hours are both annoying and inconvenient, and I'm not the only one who gets them. Normally, the college can do a backtrace on the call to find out where it originates from, but the problem is that you need an accurate time to be able to do it, and no two clocks on campus show the same time.

And so, I concocted my grand plan to find out who they are. I posted a mssage on Facebook saying that I was sick and tired of it, didn't think it was funny and was getting kind of pissy over the whole affair. The idiots at the other end of the line thought they were being very clever, and within two minutes of my posting it, they'd taken the bait and my phone rang. But I didn't answer, and instead let it go to voicemail where it simply recorded the sound of someone hanging up. The system works in such a way that it records the time of the missed call, so now I not only had an accurate fix on the time, but because they had to be on Facebook to see the message, I had a name to go with it. Eliminating people who weren't in college, were inactive or were female, I narrowed it down to four names and passed them on to the Powers That Be the next morning.

"Ian from Telstra" hasn't called back since.

***

Another time, back in first year, I was associated with someone who turned out to have quite a mean streak. She was the kind of control freak who needed to have everything just the way she wanted it, and she often tried to force her will onto other people to get them to behave in a way she saw fit. I dug my heels in because I do not hold to that sort of thing, which turned out to unleash the horrors within. I had a friend at another college who I hadn't seen for years and we were planning to meet up. But a week later down at the pub, a friend of hers told me to stop contacting her; she had received no less than six letters from 'me'. Meanwhile, I got spooked by a mean drunk and had a terrible night trying to stay away from him, which this person interpreted as me being forward with her. Naturally, she moved to destory my reputation.

To understand why she did it, you have to understand that because she was so self-absorbed, everything around her was a reflection on herself. And if something didn't fit the definition of perfection, it meant that she was not perfect, and so she had to make it mean nothing. Which she did by trying to destory my name. I waited a long time to get even with her, and get even I did.

Our college has a psition available called a Resident Fellow. They're kind of a surrogate guardian, overseeing the day-to-day operations of the college. Basically, the eight people who get the positions are the most responsible in college. My spat with this girl killed my chances of ever fulfilling my ambitions as an RF, because you need a squeaky-clean record, and conflict resolution has never been my strongest point. But I knew this girl wanted the position more than anything, and I knew there was very little she wouldn't do to get it. She sucked up to everyone from the college principal to members of the Senior Common Room to try and become their favourites, but she made one hell of a mistake.

Because of her personality, she tended to treat those 'beneath' her very poorly. She tended to view the cleaning staff, the maintenance guys, the kicthen staff, etc. as hired help, and not worth her time. Unfortunately for her, I get along very well with the kind of people you tend not to notice, and gained some pretty valuable allies in the shape of two of the cleaners. My other talent comes from being able to listen to every version of rumour and hearsay available and construct something resembling the truth out of it. With the cleaners being the prime source of the college grapevine and my getting on so well with them, I tend to know things before they've even happened. And unbeknownst to most people, they carry a hell of a lot of weight. It wasn't very difficult to convince them of this girl's soulless nature, and so they passed the word on to the Powers That Be that she was not to be trusted.

On the day that the shortlist for interviews was released, I positioned myself in the dining hall adjacent to the mailroom - the college sent out letters to all applicants tlling them whether they were successful or not - under the guise of doing work and waitd for this girl to collect hers. Assuming the college would give her the position without her even having to have an interview, it was very satisfying to hear her shreiks when she found she had been dismissed without having her application read at all.

 

[ExigeEvan]

Some great stories, all a good laugh 👍

 

[TB]

I it abundantly obvious to me that I live a very sheltered existence.

 

[prisonermonkeys]

I it abundantly obvious to me that I live a very sheltered existence.

I'll gladly swap with you, if you like. Revenge might bring about a certain kind of closure, but it's not a happy feeling. There is still one person whom I would dearly love to see their comeuppance for what they did, but I doubt it will ever come to pass. I'd prefer not to say why, it really is that horrible.

 

[mafia_boy]

I'll gladly swap with you, if you like. Revenge might bring about a certain kind of closure, but it's not a happy feeling. There is still one person whom I would dearly love to see their comeuppance for what they did, but I doubt it will ever come to pass. I'd prefer not to say why, it really is that horrible.

You speak what I think DYR. Hence my relocation because I'm over some of the stuff that I've had to deal with here. If I finished the unfinished business I have with some certain people, it would make a horror film look like Dora The Explorer!

But for something lighthearted, this is something from my old days.

One time when I was 14 I had a rental house next door, and at this particular time there were these next door neighbours who couldn't control their brats. One was older than me, the other younger but they used to torment my dogs constantly. When my dogs were barking to alert me about people arriving at my door (and I had a few people come over at that time), these kids were starting to throw rocks at them. This continued for a couple of weeks because I couldn't prove they were throwing them until I witnessed it for myself and heard one of my dogs yelp because a big rock got her.

I planned some revenge with some mates for next time these guys did it. I had a huge lemon tree out in the backyard with the dogs which grew very nice sized pieces of fruit. My boys and I proceeded to pick the whole tree bare and picked up the rotten ones from the ground, filling a couple of bags full of lemons. These neighbours lived on the corner block and I was 2nd from corner. About 5 of us ran around the front of their house around to the side fence near their back door and told one of the boys to knock on my front door which would start the dogs barking again.

These kids had a small stash of stones inside that they walked out the back door and proceed to walk to my fence to throw rocks at my dogs!! Right as they made the fence to climb, we all sprung up and wailed on them with lemons. Rotten ones first. They sprinted back inside after getting pelted with about 30 lemons of various sizes and stenches and then we unloaded the rest of the arsenal at the house.

15 minutes later their mother came around to the house demanding what the hell was going on. After telling her of their animal abuse, she walked off and the next thing I could hear was her screaming at the brats. I felt justified and happy that I basically got my revenge AND got them in trouble at the same time.

The rock throwing never occurred again after that day.

 

[Moglet]

b3ta.com ran a Question of the Week on this, some of them are amazing;

My brother's a fella who drives an insanely fast mini-van (1071cc over-square A-series for those in the know)... great for corners, but a bit pants in a straight line.
Around our area, there's a notorius stretch of dual carriageway, with roundabouts every mile. This dual C-W ends and turns into single lane... and the police seem congregate there to catch the poor unwitting sods who appear at 70mph in a 60 area.
My brother was getting tailgated by a pillock in a BMW, so he takes the next roundabout at top whack just so the Beamer isn't sat sniffing carbon monoxide.... only to be overtaken by the BMW on the straight... the guy gives my brother the finger to prove his point: sweet.

Finally getting bored with the BMW, Brother sets Mr BMW up for a good fall (hoping that Mr Plod'll be fishing in his ususal spot).... He throws the mini through every roundabout at 70, and upsets BMW by catching him up on each and every roundabout... at the last roundabout, brother passes BMW by outbraking him.... Exits roundabout at 60 (knowing what'll be waiting on the other side), only to be overtaken by Irate Mr BMW doing 120+mph waving finger out of open window at brother... Apparently in his window winding preparation, Mr BMW had failed to notice the 2 police motorbikes waiting in thier usual spot, one of which was armed with speed camera...

... which was nice.

As brother passed the freshly halted BMW, he cheerfully peeped his ikkle mini's horn.

Never seen the lad so chuffed with himself.

Mate of mine
Had just broken up with an office fling after he found out she was also sleeping with their boss.

A couple of days later, he was on a course of antibiotics for a stomach bug, and was taking one in the lunchroom when she walked in and said "are you sick?"

He turned around and said "I need these for my Hep C, don't you remember?"

I filled a wheelie-bin 3/4 full of water, and emptied a few packets of watercress seeds into it. I waited till he went into his room (this was in a uni halls of residence) and then I partially tipped the bin up against his door, so that it was leaning on the door. When he opened the door (it opened inwards of course) the bin fell into his room and flooded it with water. Being winter, his carpet didn't dry out for a week. After a few damp days, it mysteriously began to sprout green shoots...

And this is my favourite;

Back when I hated my Dad (toooo long a story) and he was moving out he asked me to get all his stuff together. Which I did, after:
1) Taking out any stuff that I wanted
2) Throwing his stereo down the stairs
3) Drawing Groucho marks faces on all the people in his 'artwork'
4 (my fav.)) he had an origami fish inside a picture frame; I opened the frame carefully, unfolded the fish, wrote 'fish' on it, put it back inside the frame.

Number 4

 

[Prosthetic]

Wow!!! This thread is golden.

 

[Philly]

Anybody know the old trick of filling a trash can or mailbox with concrete to prevent people from hitting them with their cars/baseball bats?

Yeah... That has to be one of the best ones.

 

[Syntax error]

Well today's different. Spotify, The Prodigy and speakers at full volume.

Mission - Success.

Great music choice 👍

Petty revenge is awesome. I'm a regular practitioner. Not becuase I'm a terrible person or anything, I'm just petty

 

[mafia_boy]

Petty revenge is awesome. I'm a regular practitioner. Not becuase I'm a terrible person or anything, I'm just petty

From your location I can tell why. C-Town people are funny people GTP'ers, they're Sydney's versions of Cletus and Brandine.

All I need is 1 word for proof. Airds.

 

[Syntax error]

All I need is 1 word for proof. Airds.

Touché

 

[Duke]

Anybody know the old trick of filling a trash can or mailbox with concrete to prevent people from hitting them with their cars/baseball bats?

Yeah... That has to be one of the best ones.

I knew a guy who did that. After about 4 or 5 regular mailboxes got baseball-batted, he got a really big mailbox and bolted it to a steel plate welded to a 4" steel post, set about 3 feet into the ground with a thick concrete footing around it. Then he set a smaller mailbox inside the big mailbox with about 3 inches of concrete all around it between the inner and outer walls.

The uber-mailbox.

It must have broken somebody's favorite Louisville Slugger (and maybe their arm), because it lasted less than a week. In the middle of the night somebody came by with a backhoe and lifted the whole assembly out of the ground, then left it lying across the end of his driveway.

 

[Solid Lifters]

I knew a guy who did that. After about 4 or 5 regular mailboxes got baseball-batted, he got a really big mailbox and bolted it to a steel plate welded to a 4" steel post, set about 3 feet into the ground with a thick concrete footing around it. Then he set a smaller mailbox inside the big mailbox with about 3 inches of concrete all around it between the inner and outer walls.

The uber-mailbox.

It must have broken somebody's favorite Louisville Slugger (and maybe their arm), because it lasted less than a week. In the middle of the night somebody came by with a backhoe and lifted the whole assembly out of the ground, then left it lying across the end of his driveway.

A lot of people are doing this, well enough for the government to say something about it. I remember reading about it in the news paper a few years ago. The governments take is you could be arrested for doing it. You are potentially, with malice or intentional infliction of gross bodily harm or death, attempting to seriously hurt somebody.

There was even an episode of CSI Las Vegas that had a character do exactly that and it caused a high school football star his life. They found the concrete mailbox and arrested him for murder.

 

[a6m5]

Awesome story, Duke.

I got a small, sad one.... or is it two? I know I have a better one, but it escapes me at the moment.

I'm selling parts, one Saturday. This shop calls to order a part, says that he has to pay with a company credit card, asks what time we close, says he'll call me right back with the card info.

Hours later, one minute to close, we are just about to close the gate, phone rings. I'm pretty sure I roll my eyes every time the phone rings with one minute to close.

It's that guy from earlier on the phone, of course. He doesn't ask, he orders me to go put their order in the sales department(separate building on a big lot, they are open 'til later). Then as we get around to their credit card information, he puts me on hold to call his boss for the info. I was............... upset.

I go through this customer's account records, they do not buy from us. Only when they need something really badly, literally couple times a year, they buy from us. This made me even madder.

I've dealt with this customer twice, since the incident. I remember the account name, I remember the guy's voice, though these calls are months apart. And both times, he called super late. Both times, I could hear the urgency in his voice, how badly he needs the parts(only reason why he's calling me). Both times, though our inventory locate system show his parts "in stock" at my location, I just could not find them. Finally, both times, I could hear how heartbroken he really was, not being able to finish the job until early next week(long story short, if we don't have it, it takes them day(s) to get the parts).

After the second time I screwed this dude, I've decided we are even. Supposedly, my "even" means "one-up". Oh, well.

 

[Syntax error]

C-Town people are funny people GTP'ers, they're Sydney's versions of Cletus and Brandine.

Just for you, new avatar!

 

[Duke]

The governments take is you could be arrested for doing it. You are potentially, with malice or intentional infliction of gross bodily harm or death, attempting to seriously hurt somebody.

I would happily, with malice and intent, cause serious hurt to somebody who batted my mailbox 4 or 5 times in a row.

 

[Boffin]

point

 

[Mrs. Famine]

I don't take revenge, I'm a firm believer in karma. So, the 'powers that be' serve my revenge for me. I do have a story if anyone wishes to hear it, although it's a karma one and not revenge I sought myself...

 

[Solid Lifters]

I would happily, with malice and intent, cause serious hurt to somebody who batted my mailbox 4 or 5 times in a row.

As I would. But, I don't want to go to jail over it. It's just not worth it.

I would get a brick mailbox with stucco covering it with a regular mailbox inside. That wont get you into legal trouble.

 

[bergauk]

I would happily, with malice and intent, cause serious hurt to somebody who batted my mailbox 4 or 5 times in a row.

Thing is. Its not YOUR mailbox.

http://www.mackinac.org/article.aspx?ID=5394

The Postal Service owns it.

 

[ExigeEvan]

I don't take revenge, I'm a firm believer in karma. So, the 'powers that be' serve my revenge for me. I do have a story if anyone wishes to hear it, although it's a karma one and not revenge I sought myself...

Only if you smiled after it and laughed at others persons misfortune.

 

[Mrs. Famine]

I so did

I'll tell the story later when I have more time...

 

[DntMssWthTx]

I so did

I'll tell the story later when I have more time...

I want to hear it too! I'm still undecided about going through life with a "Karma's a bleep" or "sweet revenge" mentality.