Physical contact

  • Thread starter Thread starter milefile
  • 29 comments
  • 732 views
milefile

milefile

Messages
10,832
Do you know people who have to get all huggy and touchy with everyone? Have you ever met people who have to give everyone in a room a hug before they leave, whether they know them well or not?

I'm a minimalist when it comes to physical contact. I don't do the hug thing unless it is thrust upon me, and I hate when it is. It's presumptuous and "invasive", to use danoff's terminology.

I guess I just feel physical contact of any kind should be reserved for those one is closest to and not just whoever happens to be around when the prescribed moment comes.
 
theres a girl that I know and quite a few of the lads go huggy and such with her. They all fancy her, but now she has said she fancies one of them, now they aren't officially dating but he is getting abit annoyed with the behavior of the other boys. But she doesn't seem to care.
I'm not touchy feely with anyone probably because I'm not popular with teh girls, and I woudl probably get a slap if I did. Oh well :(
 
Besides my family and my lifelong friend, I don't get all huggy feely with. . . Besides those that are real close I don't get anywhere near huggy feely. . . We need not discuss the horizontal momba either. . .
 
Originally posted by milefile
I guess I just feel physical contact of any kind should be reserved for those one is closest to and not just whoever happens to be around when the prescribed moment comes.
Click to expand...
Agreed. I think it shows an assumed intimacy, to a fairly offensive extent. I'll give the occasional pat on the shoulder, etc. to someone else, but rarely.

Often, it excessive physicality like that seems to be an attempt to cover up insecurity, either from others or from the hugger him/herself.
 
Well I'm minimal on the physical contact also... but I brought it up because hugs get on my nerves. Cross-gender hugs are a little too personal... I don't think I have to explain the physical reasons why this is true.

So it irritates me when some guy tries to force the issue to hug my wife. She doesn't like to see me hug other women either. It's just a little personal. That being said, it's also totally cool with family because there aren't any sexual connotations. Unfortunately non-family hugs are somewhat unavoidable.

Boy I had a different take on this issue when I was single though.
 
It goes hand in hand with someone thinking the two of you are better friends than you do. I have a lot of that in my life right now. People I honestly couldn't care less about thinking we're best buds. I need to stop being so nice to my friends' friends.
 
A hug if I have known the person for a long time. I generally shake hands with people but not hug them. I also hate it when strangers touch me. It makes me want to hit them.
 
My gropu of freidns are generally an intimate lot. My male mates n me shakes each others hands and pat each other on teh bacvk and the females, we hug each other. Never thought anything wrong with it. I don't agree with the whole I've just met you, but still it's kool, to hug. That happended to me a couple of weeks ago with this lass I just meet, and it completly threw me. My best/better female freinds I tend to share long hugs with, just we do. Not as good female freinds, we just quickly hug.
Me and my mate joe, occassionally hug, but that's just all as a joke and we muck around and pretend to be gay n the lot, just to piss off his g/f.
I guess it's the way I've been bought up :confused: .
 
You look a little drunknard there Wee. . . :lol:

What about drunken contact, what are peoples views on that?
 
i hate physicly contact, i saty away from it as much as possible no matter how well i know someone
 
I'm not that keen on physical contact with many people, my only exception would have to be a significant other. I don't consider hugs and whatever crucial. A handshake with guys and a peck on the cheek with girls is as much as I need.
 
One half of my family is Italian; they're known to be really touchy-feely. I don't love it when they get too huggy, but it happens. I deal with it. I only seem them like once a year anyway.

But i don't think it's so bad that people like to hug. I mean, it's not like every single person does it.

Shrug and walk.
 
it really depends on the culture of how touchy feely they are some hispanics are intimate (i cant spell sometimes specially when at work) to the point where a hug and a kiss on the cheak is acceptable. depends on the culutre and the area you are raised to see as as acceptable or not. and of course very close friends of the oppisite sex is acceptable.
 
Yeah there's some chicks in my class that are at times and it damn confusing some times. I don't feel comfortable and I don't think it's right to be "touchy feely" if they are "strangers" or I don't know them well enough.
 
I'm also a hands-off kind of person. I don't mind giving high-fives or handshakes or whatever, but I generally can't stand hugging.

There's this one girl on my Cross Country team who's a "clutcher"... she has to clutch on to someone at all times, girl or guy, and it bugs the hell out of me. She's sweet and all, but the insecurity aspect is her Achilles' heel.
 
I mean my girfriend and I are extremely touchy feely all the time. I am very "physical" in everything I do though, learning, and sports I am always one to touch or help someone up or something. Even if it is just a friend I give hugz and kisses and stuff, of course I know they are ok with me being who I am but comming from a "touchy-feely" kinda guy, I see nothign wrong with it unless it is pushed onto you.:cool:
 
I only really hug family that i wont see for a while or somethin. Or my Girlfriend of course but not to much COOTIES :yuck:
 
i've only ever really hugged my dad and that's on the very very few occasions we get to go see him (holed up in some penetentiary somewhere in the US). The most touching i've ever done around friends is a good punch or shoulder check after they insulted me really well - but we toss those back and forth all the time. As far as girls go, I'd prefer to give them their personal space - it really depends on who it is. I'm generally very distanced from everyone as far as my emotions go so I'm generally not too comfortable being close to people physically.
 
I have no problem with my friends that will lean on me and what not. I do get more intimate with my girlfriend but I don't kiss or cuddle anyone else :odd:
 
I hate having to hug a bunch of relatives at family gatherings, I don't know why, but its such a chore.

I brought back the handshake to my friends and I, none of that slap 'n knock knuckles bullchit. Just a simple handshake.
 
you get NO contact from me unless its a handshake or i KNOW YOU REALLY REALLY WELL. no exceptions:grumpy:
 
I'm also a contact minimalist. I dont see the need for "hugs on the house" before leaving an informal get together. A simple handshake or wink and smile is more then enough for me.

That didnt go down with one group of friends I used to have in University. They had to hug everyone before leaving (or even when saying hello). I didnt. I guess they thought I was being aloof, cos I dont speak to them anymore. Not that I give a hoot, they were slackers anyway.
 
Originally posted by powripper
I love to rub and stroke random people, mainly of the female type....:lol:
Click to expand...

Mainly female.. You go for a 60/40 female/male balance or?

Seriously, as many others here I don't like to be physical with ppl I don't know well. I got a few close friends though, and we almost always hug when we meet. It feels good to do so. But intentional bodycontact from a person I am only a little familiar with is as mile said "invasive" I got a guy in my class that sometimes lays his hand on my shoulder when he talks to me and I brush it off immediately, I simply hate being touched that way.

And the kissing.. I got a few gay friends and when I go out with them it's all cheek kissing all night. Not with them but more with all their friends we bump into all night. It doesn't bother me much though. Mildly drunk and the exotic feeling of another social culture mabye?
 
I got only one hug from one of my parents as a kid, and that has been it. I received it from my mother, after not seeing her for a few years after moving out of the house. It felt weird. It was like, "Why the hell did she just do that for?" We never hugged, told each other we loved them or any of that type of stuff in my family.

Now, as a father, I hug my boys, and tell them I love them, all the time.
 
All the girls I hang around with are hug fanatics, I dont really mind as long as they dont expect me to do anything. I just sort of ignore it. I personally however. only hug people when Im close to them or in a football match, (soccer for you wierdos) but thats an adrenaline thing. Or when people die and stuff but thats different (wouldnt you agree).
 
I don't mind it. My wife and I are very social people and she is always hugging her girlfriends and their husbands at parties and other gatherings. It's not really a big deal and I don't even notice. I typically do the pseudo-hug with wives which is mostly shoulder-to-shoulder and totally non-intrusive; I shake the guys' hand, and that's that.

I grew up in a reserved, conservative family with pretty much zero display of affection. My folks didn't even hug each other, let alone me or my sister. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised to find myself attracted to outgoing, warm and expressive women like my wife.

I wonder if this is a regional preference. I find this sort of 'social hugging' more typical of the south. Any of you 'minimal contact' folks live in the southern states?


M
 
There was a real cuddle culture at my university, and we still hug whenever we meet up now. However, I almost never do it with people I've met since, and I hate it when people to it to me.

A lot of people are over-familiar, and I hate it. I especially hate it when shrill middle-aged women from work come over and hug me like they're my mother. I have to be really close to someone before I engage in physical contact with them.
 
Originally posted by Mopar Muscle
I hate having to hug a bunch of relatives at family gatherings, I don't know why, but its such a chore.

I brought back the handshake to my friends and I, none of that slap 'n knock knuckles bullchit. Just a simple handshake.
Click to expand...




the evil family reunions where the distant relatives pinch your cheeks and go oh youv grone up so much come here and give your aunty/grandma/whatever a kiss.... RUN LIKE HELL RUN FOR YOUR LITTlE INSIGNFICANT LIVES!!!!
 

Latest Posts

Back