Please critique my resume

[UnoMOTO]

It is time that I ask the GTP family for a little bit of advice. In the 3 months since being laid off, I have sent out nearly 50 resumes to jobs that are actively searching for a person to fill a position. Of those, my resume has resulted in just two interviews. One of those was scheduled because I knew someone and it was set up resume sight unseen. The later was a people factory and a job that looks so bad that nobody actually wants.

I recently added a job board called jobfox to my growing list. As part of there membership they try to sell you on a professional resume writing service to the tune of $300! I don’t think so! They do however entice people by sending a preliminary critique of naturally, all the things that suck about ones resume. I did agree with nearly all the points that were mentioned, mainly the fact that my resume read more like a “doer” and not an “achiever”. My qualifications were listed more task like then results orientated. And frankly they put it as my resume was boring to read. Not really shocking since it was 1993 the last time I had written a resume.

So, here is the plan. I have posted the original resume and my revised effort. I ask those of you with more experience then I to help sell myself to the world. Please feel free to pick it apart as you see fit, even down to grammar. This formatting is not reflective of the final product.




Before

OBJECTIVE
To obtain a position in the construction industry that will allow for growth and diversity within a respected and innovative company.

FUNCTIONAL SUMMARY
Project Coordinator with 16+ years experience with a large precast concrete supplier. Successful completion of hundreds of projects with excellent comprehension of the building process.

SUMMARY OF QUALIFICATIONS
 Collaborate directly with clients, general contractors, architects and structural engineers simultaneously throughout the design and building process.
 Budget proposal and client value engineered estimating.
 Manage material take-offs and purchasing.
 Generate production schedules while maintaining delivery requirements.
 Develop erection drawings utilizing AutoCAD for submittals.
 Create production drawings for fabrication.
 Responsible for quality assurance of co-workers production drawings.
 Hands-on pre- and post-pour inspections in addition to generating daily production reports for quality control.
 Assist production crews to streamline the drawing process for better efficiency.
 Address and execute site requirements and effectively respond to the General Contractor’s requests and concerns.

EMPLOYMENT
Stresscon Corporation Sept 1993 to Nov 2009
Architectural and Structural Precast Concrete
5434 Grandview Blvd.
Dacono, Colorado 80514
EDUCATION
Arizona Automotive Institute Associates Degree
6829 N. 46th Ave. Architectural drafting 1992-1993
Glendale, AZ 85301
PROGAMS
Proficient use in AutoCAD Release 10 through 2008; Microsoft Office 97-08; Vela.

After

PROFILE
• Sixteen years of commercial construction
• Solid record of performance-based bonuses
• Achieved highest level Senior Coordinator with multi-million dollar organization
• Proficient in AutoCAD Release 10 through 2008
• PC literate with working knowledge of MS Office 97-08

PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE

ACHIEVEMENTS
• Estimated and secured projects ranging from 200k to 1 million
• Managed large commercial projects completed on time and under budget
• Developed and implemented drafting procedures that increased efficiency
• Created Excel spreadsheets for organizing and maintaining production procedures
• Oversaw refinements to Quality Assurance program to meet Precast Concrete Institute accreditation

CONSTRUCTION MANAGEMENT SKILLS
• Maintain relationships with Clients, General Contractors, Architects and Structural Engineers
• Budget proposal and client value engineered estimating
• Material take-offs and purchasing
• Develop erection drawings utilizing AutoCAD for submittals
• Create production drawings for production
• Organize Junior Coordinator workloads and assign newly acquired projects
• Quality control of drawings issued for production
• Schedule production in accordance with delivery requirements
• Review jobsite conditions and coordinate precast assembly with general contractors

EDUCATION
Bachelor of Science Degree, Project Management March 2010 – Current
ITT Technical Institute, Thornton, CO

Associates Degree, Architectural Drafting July 1991 – January 1993
Arizona Automotive Institute, Glendale, AZ

EMPLOYMENT HISTORY
Stresscon Corporation September 1993 – November 2009
Architectural and Structural Precast Concrete
5434 Grandview Blvd.
Dacono, Colorado 80514

 

[Diego440]

Now, given that I'm a graphic designer, maybe some of my critiques are from that side, but is the layout of your resume like a simple page with black letters and nothing else?

While I'm sure you're not going to put together a resume like mine (not due to lack of skills, but it's just not the same), maybe a few aesthetic quirks could make it stand out among the rest? maybe group each aspect into a separate block?

Regarding the text, I seem to remember having to put down a Professional Summary, saying who/what I am. I'd stay away from salary expectations and all that; also maybe you should put down how many people you handled? Like employees under you or number of people you were in charge of... just make it more practical?

Here's a copy of my resume (which needs an update, starting with a pic of me without a beard, for instance):

 

[UnoMOTO]

Now, given that I'm a graphic designer, maybe some of my critiques are from that side, but is the layout of your resume like a simple page with black letters and nothing else?

Yes, the current format is just text. I haven't found any examples in my field that would suggest that I add graphics. I have mixed some font sizes to call attention to the required areas. It is pretty cool that you can do a resume like yours. 👍

Regarding the text, I seem to remember having to put down a Professional Summary, saying who/what I am. I'd stay away from salary expectations and all that; also maybe you should put down how many people you handled? Like employees under you or number of people you were in charge of... just make it more practical?

My company didn't have a vertical structure to say that I was "in charge". I was the Lead Coordinator in the office of only five. I just made sure that the other four had the right work load and I would review most all their work. Our home office had about a dozen other coordinators but I had nothing to do with their tasks.

 

[Syntax error]

My company didn't have a vertical structure to say that I was "in charge". I was the Lead Coordinator in the office of only five. I just made sure that the other four had the right work load and I would review most all their work. Our home office had about a dozen other coordinators but I had nothing to do with their tasks.

This to me sounds like you were in charge. A manager’s task is to delegate and the highlighted bit suggests that is exactly what you did. I’d definitely put it in to the resume but I would be careful with the wording. Chances are, your former employer and co-workers will never see your resume however if they do, you don’t want to offend them with anything that might come across a little more grandeur than what the reality of it was.

Also, you definitely need a tad bit of colour in your resume. Maybe a cool header might suffice.

And frankly they put it as my resume was boring to read. Not really shocking since it was 1993 the last time I had written a resume.

Not sure about the boring to read part however. It’s not a novel to a publishing house but a list of your attributes and qualifications that are required for a position. That second resume (the one titled After) is considerably better than the “Before” one.

 

[Omnis]

Lol, you draw erections.

No, but seriously, I agree that the latter is better for all the reasons they mentioned.

 

[Blitz187]

Looks OK to me... I bet if you stick that pic you have as your Avatar on there it will draw some attention...

 

[Diego440]

I bet if you stick that pic you have as your Avatar on there it will draw some attention...

That calls for a serious letdown once they call him for an interview. Even worse, when they decide to call him and see the picture plus the name Brian... FUUUUUUUUUU

 

[Blitz187]

That calls for a serious letdown once they call him for an interview. Even worse, when they decide to call him and see the picture plus the name Brian... FUUUUUUUUUU

He will have A LOT to explain But hey you got called in then didnt ya ... 👍

- On a serious note though... Last resume I made was quite boring, but well structured and to the point... nothing unnecessary... and I guess it worked because when I did place my resume online I got called off the hook... I also had different short-term odd jobs here and there. What I did with those was think of nice vivid ways to explain the tasks I did and used big words to make it seem interesting... but not to much... just short and too the point leaving further elaboration for when they asked about it... When I get home i'll search for the copy I have and give it to you if you like... just as an extra example

 

[Vince_Fiero]

After seems like a good CV to me. But who am I?

However, hope the next gives some inspiration to go get that job that is waiting for you:

Agree with using some graphics to show. (not clear if a picture is acceptable, might be used by companies to have sexist or racial based decisions and for that sometimes not accepted, but generally people remove that internally. European habits, include picture and full data, even on marriage status etc...)

Unlike what I saw in other resumes, yours are well balanced and show correctly where you are. The MS Excell is a bit too present for me, always makes me wonder why people mention basic programs like that.

I miss a bit of ambition, after my studies I worked to reach this... and now it is time to take a different step, to grow towards more ...

Be aware when I send a resume, I first check out the company, look at what they are looking for, what are their current issues, how can I help them solve this with my past experience, ... and adapt, highlight and include different aspects in my resume for each company.

Your resume and mindset might block you at the moment in one direction: You might be the ideal Autocad teacher, the perfect senior project manager to coordinate other activities then construction ones, the ideal person in bid team on offers, ...

In Europe we have the habit of including a personal spare time activity section.
The idea is to show you are dynamic (you are not a couch potato), take initiative (personal development courses on your own time, e.g. the course in March 2010), are considered trustworthy by peers (president or coordinator of clubs, organize trips for friends), etc...

Be aware that the market is changing seriously:
* people might look on the internet later to see if you are active in the domain you state to be an expert. Get on those forums, like autocad.
* people might find this thread, the infield was probably more appropriate.
* people find candidates through new media, I got headhunters coming after me through Linked in before. These jobs were never published (too politically sensitive). I hear of people publishing jobs on Twitter and nowhere else, ...

And do not forget, use friends, make friends, the theory on selection based on a neutral resume works, but relationships also still work and might give an edge.

 

[UnoMOTO]

This to me sounds like you were in charge. A manager’s task is to delegate and the highlighted bit suggests that is exactly what you did.

It was at least covered by this line. With it being only four people I didn't think it would make an impact. I will keep thinking about how I could include the fact in a meaningful manner.

• Organize Junior Coordinator workloads and assign newly acquired projects

That second resume (the one titled After) is considerably better than the “Before” one.

Thanks, I really feel I didn't sell myself very well in the first example. I don't even want to think what jobs it might have cost me to this point.

Lol, you draw erections.

You should see how big our cranes were.

That calls for a serious letdown once they call him for an interview. Even worse, when they decide to call him and see the picture plus the name Brian... FUUUUUUUUUU

What....don't you think I am sexy anymore?

Unlike what I saw in other resumes, yours are well balanced and show correctly where you are. The MS Excell is a bit too present for me, always makes me wonder why people mention basic programs like that.

I created a 12 tab spreadsheet with many linked formulas that proved to be a huge asset for more then ten years. It seemed note worthy

In Europe we have the habit of including a personal spare time activity section.
The idea is to show you are dynamic (you are not a couch potato), take initiative (personal development courses on your own time, e.g. the course in March 2010), are considered trustworthy by peers (president or coordinator of clubs, organize trips for friends), etc...

I would like to include these items without taking away the professional feel.

Thanks for the imput so far guys! It looks like there is still more room refinements.

 

[wfooshee]

A "Professional Experience" section under "Professional Experience" doesn't seem to flow well.

No apostrophe on years' - instead say "years of"

I'd put education before employment history, put your employment right after that, then list the other factors, making it chronological, so to speak.

 

[Public'sTwin]

A "Professional Experience" section under "Professional Experience" doesn't seem to flow well.

No apostrophe on years' - instead say "years of"

I'd put education before employment history, put your employment right after that, then list the other factors, making it chronological, so to speak.

As in, most recent and relevant experience first? That's usually how it's done here.

 

[wfooshee]

That's fine, but he only has one experience listed, everything else is part of that employment. Education should come before employment. What he lists as Achievement is part of that employment. Maybe the Management Skills chould go at the top, right after profile, so folks know what they're looking at, and can continue down from there.

I'm thinking Profile, Skills, Education, Employment History, Achievements.

 

[ROAD_DOGG33J]

It was at least covered by this line. With it being only four people I didn't think it would make an impact. I will keep thinking about how I could include the fact in a meaningful manner.

You might want to add the number you managed, since that would probably be useful for the reader.


For the education section it might be good to put in an expected graduation date.

 

[UnoMOTO]

A "Professional Experience" section under "Professional Experience" doesn't seem to flow well.

No apostrophe on years' - instead say "years of"

See...thats why one should always have another set of eyes look at something. The second Professional Experience was meant to say "Employment History" Noted and revised.

I'm thinking Profile, Skills, Education, Employment History, Achievements.

I feel like the Achievements needs to be the "hook". With the expectations that my future employer will be looking at hundreds of resumes, I really need to catch their eye right off the bat. It's possible that they may not make it to the end "mentally" if I leave Achievements to the last. I hate having to overthink this but I need every single edge I can get.

For the education section it might be good to put in an expected graduation date.

When it comes near I will do that very thing.

 

[lpb-nissan-gt-r]

This may be appropriate but make a small portpholeo( serious spelling issues) of what you have done and maybe include a record of achievement.

 

[Vince_Fiero]

Just to give elaborate on the outside view:

I created a 12 tab spreadsheet with many linked formulas that proved to be a huge asset for more then ten years. It seemed note worthy

You see that I do not read in the resume, there I see

Created Excel spreadsheets for organizing and maintaining production procedures

So go more for something like:
Created Excel spreadsheets for organizing and maintaining production procedures, that automated through formulas the management of 500 cost items and 850 tasks to target.

I missed the complexity in your statement, so had to assume it was not there.
If you do not get called, people never get to now how well you do this at the moment.
That you take the initiative to invest in tools not to waste time day to day, ...

 

[turboash78]

I would like to give you advise and / or constructive criticisms... but I'm too busy staring at the best avatar in the history of the intertubes (yours)!

 

[UnoMOTO]

So go more for something like:
Created Excel spreadsheets for organizing and maintaining production procedures, that automated through formulas the management of 500 cost items and 850 tasks to target.

I missed the complexity in your statement, so had to assume it was not there.
If you do not get called, people never get to now how well you do this at the moment.
That you take the initiative to invest in tools not to waste time day to day, ...

Good advice I will rework that statement. 👍