I'm strictly for the ladies, though through experience (not what your thinking!), I have learned to respect homosexuals. To be honest, I hate the word homosexual, it seems to me to be kind of derogatory in the same was spastic used to be for disabled persons. As far as I am concerned its different strokes for different folks. Besides, didn't a Greek philosopher once say that true love could only be found with another man?
If your interested, I'll tell you a couple of stories about some experiences I have had around gay people.
My ex, ex, ex girlfriend used to have two male gay friends. They were really great guys besides their sexual orientation. One was proper camp, the lady if you like, and the other was butch, a very big guy! Trust me, you wouldn't want to take the mick out of him!
Anyway, I remember vividly, waking up one morning and finding the camp one sitting at the bottom of my girlfriends bed. He had brought my girlfriend a cup of tea to get out of bed with, and they were both sitting there happily chatting away.
You can imagine my shock and surprise at seeing him sitting there, as I wasn't wearing a stitch under the sheets! Not missing a beat, he looked me up and down, and said in his camp voice "Don't worry love, your not my type!" My jaw swang open like a rust tailgate, and my girlfriend fell back onto the bed P***ing herself laughing!
Another time, my girlfriends two gay friends had asked me to accompany them on a night out to a gay club. They assured me plenty of times that I would be safe, so after careful deliberation, I decided to take them up on their offer.
On the night in question, we travelled to the next city, to the aptly named 'Love Street' night club. As I was approaching the door, I recognised one of the bouncers as a guy I knew from work - I started to sweat, and hoped I could sneak in past him without him realising who I was. I had got through the door, and halfway up the stairs to the dance floor, when he came running after me. He grabbed my arm, and said "You do realise this is a gay night?" Flustered, I said "yes", and quickly scurried off. I was expecting some right proper stick when I got back to work the next day, but to his credit, nothing was said at all.
After getting my bearings in the club, that mean't finding a spot where there were no guys necking, I decided to unwind a little. It wasn't long before a gay guy started to dance next to me. "Your a very good dancer" he said. "No" I replied, "I've got two left feet". Nodding towards my crotch, the guy then said "how about your middle leg?". My blood ran cold. I made my apologies, and dashed off to the toilet - straight out of the frying pan, and into the fire!
I had been so preoccupied with what the last guy had said to me, I kind of sleep walked into the toilets without even realising what was going on. Once I did realise, I crapped myself! There was all sorts of freaky stuff going off in there, but I needed a pee, so I waited for a cubicle with my ass tight against the wall looking up at the ceiling.
After what seemed like an eternity, a cubicle became free. I rushed towards it, and slammed the door shut tight. I could hear s******ing outside the cubicle, but at least I was safe in here. Luckily for me the cubicle was a closed room, so there would be no prying eyes as I took a leek. I don't have to tell you how hard it is to pee in the pan from four feet away with your back to the door, when you can hardly hold your winky for shaking!
After about ten minutes, it seemed quieter outside the cubicle, so I ventured out to wash my hands. There were no men copulating over the sinks this time, so I chose the one furthest away, and washed my hands quickly. Upon turning around to use the hand drier, I noticed that the guy who asked me about my 'middle leg' was necking some other guy. I took a step back, and they both became aware of my presence. The other guy looked me up and down and said "Oohhh... sexy!". then the guy I had met earlier said "Don't bother, he's straight". That was all I could take! I ran out of the restroom, and spent the rest of the night in close proximity to the club bouncers!
On the way home in the taxi, one of my girlfriends gay mates asked me if I got lucky, I looked at him straight faced and said "no". He then went on to tell me that gay guys class it as an honour if they manage to pull a straight guy, much like straight guys brags about having a virgin. That was enough for me, I said my goodbyes when we got back into town, and went home to bed, relieved I had survived the night!
