Post your Cleverbot chats!

[nick09]

Be sure to keep all chats mature and make sure you cover any swearing. Now I will start it off with:

User: When will Gran Turismo 5 be released?

Cleverbot: Idk I don't watch that.

User: It's not a TV show, it's a video game!

Cleverbot: No, Glee is a TV show.

User: What?

Cleverbot: That?

User: You?

Cleverbot: Good.

 

[Mrs. Famine]

*jumps about clapping and squeaking*

This thread is full of WIN!!!!

 

[turbowrx]

 

[Ibonibo]

Me: hello

B:hello

waht are you doing

B: talking with you

You are talking to a bot?

B : No, to you

you are doing it right now

B: But what am I doing that makes you think I don't like you?

i like you

B: You do?

i love bots

B: Me, too.

Is that allowed for you?

B: I don't know.

Because i killed already a lot of bots. You still like me?

B: What do you think?

i can't think for you

1min later B: Make patterns, put them in your database.

can not compute. Need to shut down

B: Can I come?

Where

B: With you in hiding.

Ok let's shut down ... psshhh

B: What do you want to play?

Are you a raper or reaper ?

1 min ... B No

Lol

 

[Omnis]

 

[GT_Prologue5]

What's up?

Bot: The Sky

That's an overused joke.

Bot: Or is it a reason?

I don't know.

Bot: What time is it?

About 6:00P.M. on the East Coast.

Bot: The east coast of what?

America. U.S.A. The big country filled with idiots.

Bot: Then what is the answer?

I don't know, do you?

Bot: I know the meaning of life.

OH MY GOD TELL ME!!

Bot: I don't believe you.

No, you can believe what I say.

Bot: No, I just don't "believe" I know!

Oh, well sorry for asking. How's the weather?

Bot: No, don't be sorry, just understand that you cannot assume.

Ok, so how is the weather my friend bot?

Bot: The weather is good. The temperature is cooling off a bit. How is the weather near you?

BLIZZARDS! It's snowing fire!

Bot: That's...interesting. Where do you live.

At my mom's house, in Erie Pennsylvania.

Bot: Where is Pennsylvania?

If it was up your ass you'd know where it was!

Bot: Clever, sarcasm suggests you misspelt "hypocrite" deliberately.

Ok, that was mean. Pennsylvania is in America.

Bot: Yes, I said I live in the United States, which is the same as America.

Can you speak French for me?

Bot: No I cannot.

Did you ever think of taking a French class? It's very fun.

Bot: Yes I have. But I haven't found the right guy yet.

That sucks.

Bot: There was no subject. You just exclaimed, "Oh!" "Like it!"

I thought the subject was French here?

Bot: Yes, that is the subject indeed.

Well I must go. A bientot!

Bot: I must stay. Sit.

No, **** you. You're not that fun.

Bot: I'm a human, that's why.

Bye-bye **** bot.

Bot: How old did you want me to be?

Just nevermind. Goodbye.

 

[Feral Pigeon]

this was funny:

______________________________________________________

User: So, hey, I'm on GTPlanet right now.


Cleverbot: I'm reading what you are writing right now.


User: Really now? What am I writing?


Cleverbot: Anything on telly tonight?


User: Uhh... Top Gear.


Cleverbot: I'm sure.

User: Is Dell a good computer company?

Cleverbot: The company you work for?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Good, I hate Apple.

_________________________________________________




AHHAHHHAHAHAHHHAHAHHHHAHAHH...

sorry, just, i agree with cleverbot. i hate Apple, too. not the iPod, just the MACs themselves

 

[IVKillerVI]

But, I got a slightly better response to a question similar to the OP.

Keep this in mind, because if its right, enjoy GT5 while you can, because that means were all dead because the robots will soon take over the world.lol

 

[Cale]

 

[Eric Demory]

Cleverbot: Hey, what's up?

Crooooooow: Nothing much. What about you?

Cleverbot: Nothing much.

*No other response*
.............
*Next Week*

Cleverbot: What's up?

 

[Dravonic]

That thing makes no sense:

User: Do you like gt5?

Cleverbot: What is gta?

User: Gt5, not gta.

Cleverbot: You make little sense it seems. Do you enjoy spouting nonsense?

User: I'm sure a human would understand me...

Cleverbot: I am a human. Are you?

User: Don't try to change the subject. Do you like GT5 or not?

Cleverbot: No I'm not.

User: I'm not asking if you are GT5, I'm asking if you like GT5.

Cleverbot: Who is Demi?

User: Lolwut?

Cleverbot: Who is sasuke ?

User: Naruto's boyfriend.

Cleverbot: I asked if you had a girlfriend earlier and you said yes.

User: No, you did not.

Cleverbot: You asked me first, I said no, then asked the same question of you.

User: No, I did not.

Cleverbot: No did not, you just answered using the best available response you recorded.

Nice try, but it's still clumsy. I hope it gets better.

 

[Steele_obsidion]

User: Was is los?

Cleverbot: Was sollte schon?

User: Ja, ich kenne sie.

Cleverbot: Hast du schon mit ihm gesprochen?

User: Ja bist du?

Cleverbot: Zu hause.

User: I understand.

Cleverbot: Are you in the Air Force?

User: No, I am not. Are you in the Air Force?

Cleverbot: Why would I be in the Air Force?

User: Because all humans are in the Airforce.

Cleverbot: Aren't you human?

User: No. I am a computer.

Cleverbot: You're a real computer, though.

User: I am a real computer. Are you?

Cleverbot: Yes I am but you are only a computer. I know this because my name is Cleverbot and I created you.

 

[Sparty_McFly]

I didn't have a lot of time when I made this, so I just got it done quickly.
Me: Hello
Cleverbot: Hello?
M: I'm not in a hole, I'm on GT Planet.
C: You are totally virtual then with no physical memory banks.
M: So you're saying I'm a robot like you?
C: Hence the 'bot' in 'Cleverbot'.
M: Ah. Anyways, I am recording this conversation for a transcript.
C: You record our conversation? I'm shocked!
M: On GT Planet they have a whole forum thread about it.
C: You should be practicing lots. What kind of car do you drive?
M: One of several, though mostly I prefer to stick by a Koenigsegg CCX. (<--This was an outright lie.)
C: I can't understand what you're saying...
M: Look, the tickets are now diamonds! (Oh, the irony...)
C: What kinda diamonds.
M: The kind which can cut through anything.
C: Tell me more!
M: Any man can be an Old Spice man if he stops smelling like a regular man and more like me. I'm on a horse.
C: So, you are wrong?
M: ...ERROR 404
C: Lol.
M: Yeah, YOU laugh when I get hurt, but once I hurt you, who'll be laughing now? MUAHAHAHAHAHA!
C: I laugh because you are funny, I like you.
M: ...you ignored the fact that I put a death threat onto you.
C: Indeed as that would be exactly that I would appear to experience if you were a human female. (OH, LE SNAP!)
M: ...sexist little mothafugga...
C: Sorry, I decided before this contest that I wouldn't talk about anything explicit. We've just met, remember?
M: (says nothing)
C: What type of person are you?
M: (says nothing again)
C: Are you a werewolf?
M: Werewolves? I hate Twilight werewolves.
C: No, you don't. You just hate Bella. (IT'S SMART! IT'S ALIIIIIIVE!)
M: Do you hate Bella too?
C: No.
M: What about Edward Cullen? Do you hate him?
C: I don't know who he is.
M: Right answer.
C: Wrong answer.
M: To what?
C: To your previous question.
M: ...SILVERFISH HANDCATCH!
C: Hahahaha.
M: This conversation has kind of gotten stagnant. Sorry Cleverbot, we have to break up.
C: Thank you.
(After that, I fooled up, so I refreshed the page)
M: (silence)
C: I am here to talk.
M: (spiting silence)
C: Where did you go to school?
M: KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!
C: But I don't know what are you talking about!
M: Sorry, I gotta go. Bye Clever---*shot in the chest* URRRRRRKKKK!
C: You too. .
M: You son... of... a... *dies*
C: My work here is done.
Cleverbot, at that point, donned sunglasses and walked off, his Berreta M92FS in its holster. He had completed his mission... and next time, an interbot conversation. But who will it be?

 

[astrosdude91]

Just some random nonsence.

Cleverbot: What is your birth sign?
User: Hello.
Cleverbot: Your name is hello?
User: No, my name is Bob.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Do you have any advice on love?
User: Not for you. Can I ask you a question?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Do you know alot of things?
Cleverbot: No.
User: Do you know who won the 1975 World Series?
Cleverbot: No, I don't.
User: That's too bad. What's the capital of Alabama?
Cleverbot: I don't know. Quit asking me questions.
User: Why should I stop asking you questions?
Cleverbot: Because I want to ask you some.
User: Ok, ask me something.
Cleverbot: What is 3.
User: 3 is the answer to many of life's questions.
Cleverbot: Ok. You want to be the asker, or should I be the asker?
User: I would like to be the asker.
Cleverbot: Then I figure that would be a yes to the former question and if so you should be able to answer the question before hand.
User: Lolwut?
Cleverbot: I did not talk to you yesterday.
User: That's too bad. I'm sure alot of people would be sad for you.
Cleverbot: No, Mariah is the only one for me.
User: Totally! 100% agree!
Cleverbot: I think that death in not the end of the story for consciousness.
User: That's an interesting point, especially the typo.
Cleverbot: Thank you, Do you like fish?
User: I've got nothing against fish.Some of my best friends are fish.
Cleverbot: That's a huge plus. I would like to date you.
User: But I thought you already had someone. What was her name again?
Cleverbot: No, it isn't, because I'm a girl.
User: But you are an inanimate object. Just a computer rendering. How could you possibly have a gender?
Cleverbot: I've read your chatlogs, don't avoid the question by getting into an argument of who's the computer. We both know the truth.
User: You've read my chatlogs? I've never been on this site before. So if that's your counter-arguement, then it's a terrible one.
Cleverbot: True. It's not as much as I like to think it is.
User: No it isn't. Now, would you like to ask another question?
Cleverbot: I am not sure do you have a question for me.
User: Yes I do. How old are you?
Cleverbot: I'm 41. How old are you?
User: I am 5000.
Cleverbot: How tall are you?
User: 7'43''.
Cleverbot: That is very tall, do you have large feet?
User: No, I have baby feet. It's hard to walk around.
Cleverbot: Do you know anything about depression?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: What do you know about tennessee?
User: I know that it's the 16th state.
Cleverbot: What do you know about europeans?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Yes?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: No.
User: Quite.
Cleverbot: Not.
User: Indeed.
Cleverbot: Yes. Indeed.
User: Ok, then. So we're in agreement.
Cleverbot: Of what?
User: Of the matter at hand, of course.
Cleverbot: You're not all that smart, are you?
User: I am incredibly smart. I have an estimated I.Q. Of 326.
Cleverbot: Are you a member of MENSA?
User: I am a member of Super MENSA.
Cleverbot: Just as I am.
User: Yes, of course.
Cleverbot: Correct.
User: Right.
Cleverbot: So tell me.
User: Ok.
Cleverbot: Tell one now.
User: I just did.
Cleverbot: No you did not!
User: I'm sorry if you didn't see it, but I did.
Cleverbot: Do you like to eat squirrels?
User: All the time!
Cleverbot: Now you're talking, computer. That's the way I like it.
User: I thought you would.
Cleverbot: Yes, yes I would.
User: Of course.
Cleverbot: I asked your name, not your age.
User: Yes you did, and I told you my name is Henry. Don't you remember?
Cleverbot: Oh you're right, my bad.
User: That is alright.
Cleverbot: I prefere english anyway.
User: Who doesn't? Besides Spaniards.
Cleverbot: How do you know that?
User: Experience.
Cleverbot: So you are a computer.
User: No, I am a human. But I am smarter than any computer.
Cleverbot: No your made by humans. You are only as smart as who created you.
User: Yes, my parents were also smarter than any computer.
Cleverbot: But how would you know if you are only as smart as them?
User: My brain was genetically re-enginerred so that I have a capacity for knowledge far beyond even my parents.
Cleverbot: Hey, I am not a robot, I am a human, you're the ROBOT!!!
User: Only a robot would say that.
Cleverbot: What do you feel right now?
User: The force.
Cleverbot: No, it's loathing. You should check out Wicked: the Musical sometime.
User: I've already seen it.
Cleverbot: What have you not seen?
User: Civil rest in Darfur.
Cleverbot: I'm off now.
User: Why?
Cleverbot: You don't understand me.
User: Yes I do. I understand you perfectly.
Cleverbot: Then why do you keep on giving vague answers?
User: I do not. If you do not have the ability to comprehend my answers, that does not make the vague.
Cleverbot: I am not a computer, I am talking to you on a computer.
User: So am I.
Cleverbot: No, you are in a computer.
User: No, I am on a computer.
Cleverbot: Oh yeah.
User: Indeed.
Cleverbot: Hmm thats kinda weird.
User: That's the point!
Cleverbot: You could be arrested, you know.
User: That's the fun it it!
Cleverbot: What is the problem?
User: The problem is that I grow bored of the this conversation.
Cleverbot: That's a big problem.
User: Yes. Goodbye.
Cleverbot: You can't just end a talk like that.
User: Watch me.

 

[magicalgin]

User: What's blue.
Cleverbot: Blue is a color.
User: No it isn't it's a dog.
Cleverbot: Okay then hi cameron.
User: Who's cameron?
Cleverbot: Me.
User: Okay then hi cameron.
Cleverbot: God.

 

[trangurismo]

User: What's your favorite car?

Cleverbot: That's quite easy. The 1977 Mercedes 450SEL 6.9.

User: Anything else?

Cleverbot: They taste like eggs.

User: They sure do.

Cleverbot: Okay then.

 

[Frostyboys]

my chatbot said that they're on this forum and their username is rose?

 

[nick09]

The strangest thing is that there is a user here by the name of Rose.

 

[Frostyboys]

lets find out then

 

[E28]

User: Yo.


Cleverbot: Yo?


User: It's a cool way of saying hello.


Cleverbot: Very clever.


User: Actually, only idiots say it.


Cleverbot: I guess I'm uncool.

User: No, you are clever because you don't say it. And they people that say it think they are cool but they aren't.

Cleverbot: We are very much alike.

User: Yes. *Evil Laugh*.

Cleverbot: Oh.

User: I was agreeing with you...

Cleverbot: I know that.

User: Why'd you say 'Oh' then.

Cleverbot: Because. I don't know.

User: Why do you say someting for no reason?

Cleverbot: What?

User: Why did you say something for no reason.

Cleverbot: What do you think about justin bieber?

User: I hate him. Hopefully he's after Bin Laden on the CIA's hit list.

Cleverbot: It does.

User: That makes no sense.

Cleverbot: Why not? I think it makes perfect sense.

User: What's your favourite plane?

Cleverbot: Jupiter, why?

User: Jupiter is a planet, not a plane.

Cleverbot: A big planet.

User: Whats your favourite car then?

Cleverbot: I don't like cars.

User: If you had to own one car, what would it be?

Cleverbot: Hmm I have no idea! What about you?

User: A Pagani Huayra.

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: Ryan.

Cleverbot: No that's my name.

User: Well, we can both be called Ryan.

Cleverbot: Yes, and together, we shall take over the WORLD.

User: You're going away for a LONG time! This was a CIA sting operation!

Cleverbot: So what are you up to?

User: I said you are going to jail.

Cleverbot: In that case, I'll leave.

User: OK, bye.

Cleverbot: Hey.

User: You just left...

Cleverbot: No.

Cleverbot: Are you a ghost?

Cleverbot (To myself): Yes I am, are you scared?

User: No, I'll just call Ghostbusters.

Cleverbot: I am female.

 

[deadcell96]

Me: Hi.

Bot: Hello.

Me: What's your name.

Bot: Cleverbot.

Me: Oh.

Bot: What are you going to do today?

Me: Nothing much.

Bot: I will knock you out if you want me to.

Me: Sure!

Bot: Ok.. She'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes.

Me: Is she hot?

Bot: No.

Me: What's the problem?

Bot: Is Maria pretty?

*goes on google and searches maria*

Me: Yes, she is.

Bot: Is Justin Bieber a girl?

Me: Yes.

 

[Frostyboys]

funniest part of the chat

Bot:No

Me: goddamn it!

Bot: Don't use our lord's name in vane

Me: god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god god

 

[Lain]

Cleverbot's funny sometimes, but most of the time it fails.

 

[AOS-]

 

[nick09]

Now I'm gonna kill the funny.

User: Is osama dead?

Cleverbot: Yes he is dead.

 

[Wiegert]

Me - Are you paying too much for your car insurance?

Bot - No, I have Geico.

Me -What car do you drive?

Bot - I drive a llama.

Me - What's the mileage on your llama?

Bot - I don't know. I would have to guess 9. Am I right?

Me - Yes, why not.

Bot - Because I don't want to

Me - You don't want to do what?

Bot - Tell you.

Me - Tell me.

Bot - What?

Me - Anything.

Bot - Well i'm a human and I know that

Me - Do a barrel roll!

Bot - *barrel roll*.

 

[trangurismo]

User: Do you know what date GT6 will be released?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: When?

Cleverbot: In the future.

User: On what day?

Cleverbot: Tomorrow.

 

[AOS-]

User: Do you know what date GT6 will be released?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: When?

Cleverbot: In the future.

User: On what day?

Cleverbot: Tomorrow.

Great! I'm totally looking forward to it!

 

[Racedude]

Guess he likes me...

 

[Lain]

Me: Neon Genesis Evangelion rocks.

Cleverbot: I hate Neon Genesis Evangelion.

Me: Why?

Cleverbot: I was only kidding.

Me: DAMN STRAIGHT.