Joey D
Premium
- 47,830
- Lakes of the North, MI
- GTP_Joey
- GTP Joey
> "France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these
drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by
prostitutes."
> ---Mark Twain
>
> "I just love the French. They taste like chicken!"
> ---- Hannibal Lecter
>
>
> While speaking to the Hoover Institution today, Secretary Donald Rumsfeld
was asked this question:
> "Could you tell us why to date at least the Administration doesn't favor
> direct talks with the North Korean government? After all, we're talking
with the French."
> The Secretary smiled and replied: "I'm not going there!"
>
> "I would rather have a German division in front of me
than a French one behind me."
> --- General George S. Patton
>
> "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your
> accordion."
> --Norman Schwartzkopf
>
>
>
>
> "We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it."
> ---- Marge Simpson
>
> "As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure"
> ---Jacques Chirac, President of France
"As far as France is concerned, you're right."
> ---Rush Limbaugh,
>
> "The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German
Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee."
> --- Regis Philbin
>
> There was a Frenchman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together
> in a carriage in a train going through Provence. Suddenly the train went
> through a tunnel and as it was an old style train, there were no lights in
> the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was a kissing noise
> and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the
tunnel,
> Claudia Schiffer and the Englishman were sitting as if nothing had
happened
> and the Frenchman had his hand against his face as if he had been slapped
> there. The Frenchman was thinking: 'The English fella must have kissed
> Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.' Claudia
> Schiffer was thinking: 'The French fella must have tried to kiss me and
> actually kissed the Englishman and got slapped for it.' And the Englishman
> was thinking: 'This is great. The next time the train goes through a
tunnel
> I'll make another kissing noise and slap that French bastard again.'
>
>
"The French are a smallish,
> monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the
citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little
> cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than sitting inside and
> drinking large glasses of whiskey I don't know."
> --- P.J O'Rourke (1989)
>
> Next time there's a war in Europe, the loser has to keep France.
>
> An old saying:
> Raise your right hand if you like the French....
> Raise both hands if you are French.
>
"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the
> 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the
face for it."
> ---John McCain, U.S. Senator from Arizona
>
> "You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein?
Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is
French."
> --Conan O'Brien
>
>
> "I don't know why people are surprised that France won't
> help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the
> Germans out of France!"
> ---Jay Leno
>
>
> > "The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came
marching into Paris under a German flag."
> --David Letterman
drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by
prostitutes."
> ---Mark Twain
>
> "I just love the French. They taste like chicken!"
> ---- Hannibal Lecter
>
>
> While speaking to the Hoover Institution today, Secretary Donald Rumsfeld
was asked this question:
> "Could you tell us why to date at least the Administration doesn't favor
> direct talks with the North Korean government? After all, we're talking
with the French."
> The Secretary smiled and replied: "I'm not going there!"
>
> "I would rather have a German division in front of me
than a French one behind me."
> --- General George S. Patton
>
> "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your
> accordion."
> --Norman Schwartzkopf
>
>
>
>
> "We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it."
> ---- Marge Simpson
>
> "As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure"
> ---Jacques Chirac, President of France
"As far as France is concerned, you're right."
> ---Rush Limbaugh,
>
> "The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German
Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee."
> --- Regis Philbin
>
> There was a Frenchman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together
> in a carriage in a train going through Provence. Suddenly the train went
> through a tunnel and as it was an old style train, there were no lights in
> the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was a kissing noise
> and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the
tunnel,
> Claudia Schiffer and the Englishman were sitting as if nothing had
happened
> and the Frenchman had his hand against his face as if he had been slapped
> there. The Frenchman was thinking: 'The English fella must have kissed
> Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.' Claudia
> Schiffer was thinking: 'The French fella must have tried to kiss me and
> actually kissed the Englishman and got slapped for it.' And the Englishman
> was thinking: 'This is great. The next time the train goes through a
tunnel
> I'll make another kissing noise and slap that French bastard again.'
>
>
"The French are a smallish,
> monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the
citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little
> cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than sitting inside and
> drinking large glasses of whiskey I don't know."
> --- P.J O'Rourke (1989)
>
> Next time there's a war in Europe, the loser has to keep France.
>
> An old saying:
> Raise your right hand if you like the French....
> Raise both hands if you are French.
>
"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the
> 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the
face for it."
> ---John McCain, U.S. Senator from Arizona
>
> "You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein?
Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is
French."
> --Conan O'Brien
>
>
> "I don't know why people are surprised that France won't
> help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the
> Germans out of France!"
> ---Jay Leno
>
>
> > "The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came
marching into Paris under a German flag."
> --David Letterman
