Ride to the top (Chapter 5|30october"09)

Discussion in 'GT4 Race Reports' started by dennisw, Jul 22, 2009.

  1. dennisw


    since all stories are like dead, i decided to start my own:idea:
    here's the intro:

    "When I was 10, me and my cousin drawn from our bedds, and pushed into a van by my uncle.
    He drove the van like mad to the airport, i asked him a couple of times what's going on, but he just sat there, driving like a :censored: idiot.
    Once at the airport we took the 1st flight to the US...

    Once in the US we had no home my uncle had some cash, i shouted to him: "WHAT THE :censored: IS GOING ON HERE, he responded: "the mafia killed you father and mother, they were searching for you...".
    What.. WHY??
    He said: "your father owned them some money, but he refused to pay".
    so that's how i came here 9 years ago" said Andrew to his mate Doug.

    Doug: but why don't you have a japanese name??
    Andrew: Me, uncle Jerry and my cousin Tom changed our names...
    Doug: okay

    they got into doug's M3 and drove to Andrew's house, uncle Jerry was at home, he was working on a car, a shiney Nissan 200sx s14

    uncle Jerry: what do you think??
    Andrew: who's car is that??
    uncle Jerry: it is Tom his car....

    Andrew: WHAT THE... I didn't gave you the last 5 years halve of my salery to buy a :censored: car for Tom!!!!

    To be continued..... in a few hours
    Last edited: Oct 30, 2009
  2. dennisw


    chapter 1, The car

    Uncle Jerry:just look at him, with a few yars practise and he can win the D1

    Andrew: NO, he aint going to win the :censored: D1, because i want MY money back!!!!
    Uncle Jerry: this car isn't paid with your :censored: money! i still have your money!! the $70.000 what you gave me in total is in the safe! i also wanted to buy a car for you you selfish prick!
    Andrew: I don't believe you.
    Tom: STOP!!!!!!!!!!! If i may not have the car, okay, but you aint getting it either, because your money is in the safe like he said, just take a look the password is 9027099321!!
    Uncle Jerry: Andrew, take the money and buy a car... then tom can keep this one, peace??
    Andrew: allright

    2 weeks later

    Andrew: what do you think

    Uncle Jerry: You can't drift that german piece of :censored:!!! get it away from here NOW!!
    Andrew: why not?? it is FR, it had 360bhp and...
    Uncle Jerry: how much was it??
    Andrew: $35.000 why??
    Uncle Jerry: buy a japanese car!!!
    Andrew: why??
    Uncle Jerry: Don't ask why, buy one, and one that is less than $7000

    Next day
    Andrew: Uncle, what do you think of this one, a toyota ae86.
    Uncle Jerry: ah, that's a nice one, also rare, your father had one, how much is it?? $15.000??
    Andrew: no less, it is a little under $5.400.
    Uncle Jerry: BUY BUY BUY, call those people NOW
    Andrew: relax, ok im going to call
    Andrew calls, he can take look at the car right away, he and Uncle Jerry decide to buy it.

    Hope you like it, there will be MOAR soon!!
  3. DK

    DK Premium

    Your grammar needs a bit of work, but so far so good. :tup:
  4. Parnelli Bone

    Parnelli Bone Premium

    United States
    NO, I love the grammar! :lol: I love all the swearing, too. You've obviously never worked in a garage or automotive situation, driftking!
  5. dennisw


    Chapter 2 the drive

    Uncle Jerry: I replaced the shocks, i made it lighter, i replaced the stock open diff with a LSD, i bought you rims, i couldn't do much to the engine, because you spend you money on some german audi orso, so it has 136HP, because it has low power i reconmend Demon camber(oni-kyan)

    Andrew looks at the car, putts up a smile, turns the music loud and starts to setup the car.

    4 hours later he is done, time for a test drive arround the block...


    Andrew: Smokin, hahahah WOOW

    Andrew drifts with a 2foot wide smile on his face

    Andrew: wow, this car can make big angle!!!

    Andrew: YEEEEHAAAW

    Andrew: soo much fun with only 136hp
    Uncle Jerry: are you satisfied??
    Andrew: hell yea
    Uncle Jerry: good, you are going to Infineon circuit tomorrow
    Andrew: are you :censored:ed in the head??!?!?...
    Uncle Jerry: Yes, Tom is also coming.


    Hope you like it!
    next chapter is going to be :eek:
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2009
  6. Lucas


    Wow... this is a complete disaster. Reminds of another story around here. The only difference was that that one had spelling, at least.

    This gets some points in laughs.

    EDIT: I'm tired of AE86s, dangit!
  7. dennisw


    Why is it a disaster??
  8. Lucas


    It seems that you wrote things while you were thinking about them. The pace is way, way too fast. I mean, three chapters already! Look at those images. I reckon that if they weren't there, those three chapters would not even make a SaberFire, =drifting24/7=, or Codename L's chapter. I think you should take your time before posting a new chapter up. The dialogues are stupid, in my opinion. Just the way characters talk makes them look like 10 year old boys. Not that being a 10 year old is a bad thing, but a 19 year old talking and thinking like one is.
  9. dennisw


    i allready had 3 chapters wrote down on my note pad, i don't just type something down, 1st i write it in my notebook, do some editing and type it down here, and let me have smaller chapters that you guy's', every story has different sizes of chapters, and mine is no differ.

    and maybe the characters are stupid...:yuck:
  10. Parnelli Bone

    Parnelli Bone Premium

    United States
    Well I like it...:tup: I mean, it's not the absolute top story ever, but it's got all the elements a good story is made of. Drama, some laughs, surprise, and some action. :dopey: The only thing missing is the cute, bossy girl-racer who challenges the protagonist. :p
  11. dennisw


    there is coming a girl....

    I am tired now, i have party tonight, my fingers are soar, no new chapter today:crazy:.

    I am now just chill writing chapter 5 on my notepad:tup:, but im stuck:mad:
    I am busy on 1 rule for like 30 mins :irked:.

    What car wants every one want in the story, i don't know wich one to pick:indiff:.
  12. dennisw


    Chapter 3, The 1st race(pt1)

    They finally arrived after a long drive to ifineon...

    it was a cold saturday morning,

    Andrew: Let's prepare the cars for action, shall we??
    Uncle Jerry: OK, you start on your levin, and tom and me will start on the nissan.
    Andrew: allright!
    Tom: YO

    After 45minutes, more cars arrived.
    one car, a black S13 stopped in front of Andrew, the window went open...

    S13 driver: how much ya runnin under da hood?
    Andrew: 136HP
    S13 driver: are you :censored:ing kidding me??
    Andrew: NO, i am serious! how much hp do you have then??
    S13 driver: this has 286HP, it is not done yet tho, i heard that there is a car with 500+HP,
    so ya aint gettin nowhere with that 136horsepower, go away, believe me, you don't stand a chance!!
    Andrew: We'll see...

    the S13 driver whistless:'' :censored:ing ricer'' and drives away.

    Andrew: :censored:hole
    Tom walked to Andrew.
    Tom: what's up with that guy??
    Andrew: nothing... where's uncle Jerry??
    Tom: ah, he saw another AE86...
    Andrew: isn't mine good enough??
    Tom: it is a white one, maybe he likes white ones better??
    Andrew: Maybe... when does the qualifying session starts actually???
    Tom: in about 25 minutes, but we need to go to the organizers in 5 minutes, just to run trough the rules an witch part of the track we need to drift etc.
    Andrew: well lets go then, then we have a place in front!!
    Tom: you are joking right??
    Andrew: sure...

    after 10 minutes of explanation they get in their cars, and drive towards the end of the pits...
    a marshall: DRIVE SLOWLY TOWARDS THE START *he is holding a map from the track:

    Andrew is driving 80kph towards the start, time to get ready for his 1st run..
    once at the start,
    A Marshall: go as close as you can to the cones, but don't kick them.
    Andrew: OK...
    that same marshall: 3...2...1...GOOOO!!!

    Andrew: yea!

    Andrew: ah, nowhere near the cones, i need more speed!!!

    back in the pits.
    Andrew: i need more power, in order to get more speed!!
    Uncle Jerry: how do you want to do that??
    Andrew: i don't know!!
    Uncle Jerry: i Don't know either!!
    Andrew: :censored:!!!
    Uncle Jerry: look, Tom must drift now!!

    A Marshall: go as close to the cones, but don't kick them.
    Tom: yo...
    that same marshall: 3...2...1...GOOOO!!!
    Tom: Let's see what 353hp can do...

    Tom: That's what 353hp can do, hahaha...

    hope you like it:)
    pt.2 comes tomorrow, or this eve, if i have time to type it down and make pic's :crazy:
  13. LolCats


    This is Really nice. But you could work on grammar a little bit. I.E. "This car can make big angle!!!!!" But besides that it's very funny. Although the chracters seem a little dim.
  14. dennisw


    Ye, my grammar sucks:tdown:, thanks for reply:tup:.

    i broke my ps2 yesterday:mad:, but i fixed it!!!:odd::cool:, now im going to make pictures:sly:

    Tom came back to the pits.

    Andrew: Amazing run!!
    Uncle Jerry: You were great!
    Tom: thanks guys!

    A few minutes later a truck with a white car on the bed drove past them.

    Tom: WOW, that's a nice S13
    Andrew: that's no S13, that's a 180SX, with a S13 front end!
    Uncle Jerry: that's called a SIL80
    Tom and Andrew at the same time: A WHAT??
    Uncle jerry: a SIL80 front end of a SIL-via, and the reat from a 1-80-sx, and that's a SIL-80.
    Andrew: i would kill somebody for a car like that!

    Andrew walked to the place where the truck was parked.

    Andrew: who's the lucky driver??
    Truck driver: nobody, some guy ordered it, and never payed for it, we want to sell it here...
    Andrew: how much is it??
    Truck driver: $100K
    Andrew: WOW, what makes it so expensive??
    Truck driver: it's made with the best parts you can buy, and tuned for drift.
    Andrew: what if you can't sell it here??
    Truck driver: then we have to lower the price, but i'm pretty sure we can sell it here...
    Andrew: okay, it is a great car!, but i got to go, cya
    Truck driver: bye

    Andrew walks back to Uncle Jerry and Tom.
    Tom: I made it to the next round!
    Andrew: Cool, did i also made it to the next round??
    Tom: no, you were last, you were nowhere near the cones, i was 5th.
    Andrew: ah :censored:

    10 minutes later, Tom gets in his car for round 2, trackmap:

    Tom: Wish me luck...
    Andrew: good luck!

    A marshall: GO!!

    Tom: YEA

    Tom: aah, need more speed!!!!!

    Tom: OK, next and last try, i need to do the last corner!!
    Tom drives back to the start..

    A marshall: GO!!!

    Tom: YEA, i did it!

    once back in the pits.

    Andrew: good 2nd run!
    Tom: thanks!

    the black S13 drove by again, the driver got out the car.

    S13 driver: I told ya... you aint gettin nowhere with 130hp, :censored:ing loser, haha.
    Andrew: :censored: off :censored:
    S13 driver: HOW DID YA CALL ME!?!
    Andrew: a :censored:, now get the :censored: out of here!!
    S13 driver: you know what happened to the last one that called me a :censored:..
    Andrew: no, and i don't need to know! now :censored: off.
    S13 driver: you're just asking for a punch in the face.
    Andrew: allright, hit me, right here(points at face)
    S13 driver: if you want it that badly...
    the S13 driver hits andrew in the face, Andrew, now even more angry, hits him multiple times in the face and chest,
    the S13 driver falls on the ground, he's bleeding from his nose, he gets up after 5 minutes, gets in his car and drives away..

    Tom: are you OK???
    Andrew: Ye
    Tom: are you sure??
    Andrew: YES!!!!!!
    Tom: ok, ok, chill
    hop you like it... :p
    Last edited: Jul 26, 2009
  15. DK

    DK Premium

    How did you fix it?
  16. dennisw


    Solderd a loose wire...
    now im soooooooooooooooooooo happy:tup:
  17. LolCats


    Wow. Lots of Censored. Very Witty though.
  18. dennisw


    Just 8... :lol:.
  19. LolCats


    When is Chapter 4 coming?
  20. dennisw


    after vacation, i got my notepad with me so expect some big(or alot) chapters:dopey:
  21. dennisw


    new chapter is coming today, i only need to type it down in word and copy/paste, which will take some time because my typing is very slow(i type with 2 fingers :dunce:)...

    small little chapter with no pics:
    Andrew: hey, uncle, im going home
    jerry: don't you want to see tom drift??
    Andrew: yes but, i am not feeling OK, so im going home...
    Jerry: OK, Tom wil sms you the results when he's done.
    Andrew: OK, bye
    Jerry: bye

    What uncle Jerry didn't know was that Andrew wasn't going home, he decided to go back to japan...

    Andrew packed his stuff, he packed his stuff into his corolla and went to japan...
    Last edited: Aug 23, 2009
  22. dennisw


    Chapter 4
    (no pics yet)

    It has been 3 years since Andrew went back home to Japan, he has a job at a garage that's specialised in Nissan cars.
    he had to sell his corolla due money problems...

    Andrew wakes up early, 6:30, he can't sleep anymore so he decides to go out of bed.
    once down, he makes some coffee, and a sandwich, he walks to the living room with his breakfast, he turns on the telly... BOOM!!
    that was the television.

    Andrew: goddamnit!

    he quickly eats his breakfast and heads outside, getts in his car, a honda today.
    he turns the key, and it starts right away! it never does that.

    once on the freeway, there's no traffic jam, he is the only one on the road
    he thinks: there is something different today, im feeling happy.

    once at the garage, he finds out that for the 1st time in 3 years the car parts are allready delivered before he had started his lunch!

    he walks up to the 1st car, a s13 with a ripped oilpan, he jackes it up, replaces the oilpan, oilfilter and putts some new oil in it, then he starts it, fires up right away, and roars like a kitten.
    just as he wanted to work on the 2nd car his boss walks in:

    Boss: hey Andrew!
    Andrew: im here, im under the micra!
    Boss: comin'

    Andrew's boss walks to the nissan micra.

    Andrew: you got news?
    Boss: yes, you remember that lottery ticket you bought me for my birthday??
    Andrew: ye, why??
    Boss: i won the lottery!
    Andrew: WOW, congrats!
    Boss: thanks, but, i'm not only here because of that. you have been a good employee for 3 years, you actually runned this whole garage,
    so i want to give this garage to you.
    Andrew: i don't know what to say...
    Boss: take it or leave it...
    Andrew: i'll take it!
    Boss: but there's another thing, now that you own this NISSAN! garage, you have to ditch the honda.
    Andrew: as soon as i get more money!
    Boss: i got a better idea, you see this skyline on the trailer?? it doesn't run, the engine is blown up, the owner tried to get 1300hp out of it.
    i bet you can fix it!
    Andrew: I 1st need to take a look under the bonnet.

    they walk to the yellow nissan, and open the bonnet.

    Andrew: what a disaster!
    Boss: it is only the engine...
    Andrew: i can't fix this, an engineswap is the best possibility to get this car driving again, but i will fix it!
    Boss: that's what i wanted to hear, it's all yours.
    Andrew: thanks!

    The next day he goes to the nearest scrapheap to find a RB26DETT(nissan skyline engine).
  23. dennisw


    Next chapter is coming soon, ;).
  24. dennisw


    Sorry, not so soon, my ps2 is burnt :(, i need to get a new one first :grumpy:.
  25. dennisw


    chapter 5


    It is now 1 year after he got the skyline from his old boss, it is been restaurated, 500+ hp, insanely fast car, built for street racing, Andrew has quit drifting, he has been trying to make a name for himself on the streets of tokyo...

    Nismo skyline driver: hey guys look... this guy thinks he can beat me in a yellow skyline, hahah

    Andrew: im not going to beat you... I AM going to rip your ass on the tarmaqe

    Nismo skyline driver: well, then show us.

    Andrew: okay, lets race for pink slips, winner get's the car of the loser

    Nismo skyline driver: ah, i'd like to have a part's car, bring it on!






    Nismo Skyline Driver: :censored: No!

    Andrew: YEAH

    Andrew wins the race, he walks towards the nismo skyline driver.

    Andrew: i have beaten you, now give me the keys!

    Nismo Skyline Driver: Never!

    Andrew: that's the :censored: rules!!

    Nismo Skyline Driver: DON'T tell me waht the :censored: rules are, the rules are that you get the :censored: out here right NOW!

    Andrew: give me my :censored: car!! then i leave!

    The Nismo Skyline Driver grabs his gun...

    Nismo Skyline Driver: no way, you ain't getting my car.

    Andrew: give it, NOW!!!!!!

    The Nismo Skyline Driver shoots Andrew......


    to be continued
  26. DK

    DK Premium

    Dude...you aren't just double posting, you're (checks thread) quintuple posting.

    EDIT: Actually, that was sextuple posting. Yeah, I'm such a nerd for knowing these words.
  27. dennisw


    check time bitween posts XD
  28. DK

    DK Premium

    Youre still double posting beyond the point where it's laughable.
  29. dennisw


    it are only 6 posts in a row...
  30. Pitracer100


    Nice chapter.:tup: Andrew got shot.:eek: