Social Support Network @GTP

[W3H5]

Ladies and gentlemen of the 'Planet. It has become apparent that there are many members dealing with events and/or emotions that can be tough to handle alone. Over the course of the site's existence, there have been many aided by the kindness of others who give advice, an ear to listen, or simply relate to a given situation that somebody is going through.

I was recently driven to want to do more for those in need of any kind of assistance through a tough spot. This came with the loss of a member that might have been helped with some more options available. In a place like this where we connect with each other over shared interests, there are lots of strong digital friendships forged. If you or somebody you know here seems to be going through some turmoil, don't hesitate to get in contact. This is an offer of assistance during trying times.

Numerous reasons spring to mind as to why an individual might want to correspond with somebody on here. There's an element of anonymity and yet a sense of trust that has been established between active members. Whether it's grieving, heartbreak, debts, illness, education, careers, or any one of the dozens of other causes that can lead to the thought "I really need a minute to talk this through".

Previously I've been fortunate enough to have been in contact with several members who have benefited from a shoulder to lean on, so to speak. I encourage anyone who feels like they're in trouble to reach out and contact me. Typically the communication has been away from GTP using text, audio, and video chats via messenger apps where the participants and topic can remain confidential.

I don't claim to have any professional counseling skills or knowledge of every subject, but I will extend a friendly and nonjudgemental ear to those who seek it.

If you're reading this and think that you could also pitch in with advice or just a space for a fellow member to vent, post your acknowledgment down below.

If you're the one looking to take a load off and perhaps get some solid advice, drop a post below with a rough outline of your situation so that I or others can contact you and get the ball rolling. Alternatively, if it's a very private matter that you would prefer not to share on a public board, shoot me a personal message. I'm rarely away for long.

Hopefully, it goes without saying that all private discussions should remain respectful, nonjudgemental, and confidential between the parties involved.

Help is right here if you need it.

 

[Pupik]

Bumping this because it should be.

 

[TexRex]

Pin?

 

[W3H5]

Bumping this because it should be.

It’s always here when needed. If it’s not needed right now, that can only be a good thing, right?

Pin?

Unlikely. It would be better to let this thread hover around so that when it is used it’ll be noticed more by floating back to the front page of this forum where it might serve its purpose better, if you know what I mean.
I think that makes sense.

 

[TexRex]

Unlikely. It would be better to let this thread hover around so that when it is used it’ll be noticed more by floating back to the front page of this forum where it might serve its purpose better, if you know what I mean.
I think that makes sense.

Provided people know it exists.

 

[W3H5]

Provided people know it exists.

Indeed. Any ideas on how to let members know it’s here without shoving in their faces?

 

[TexRex]

Indeed. Any ideas on how to let members know it’s here without shoving in their faces?

Blimp?

 

[Blitz24]

I do understand the good intentions of this thread, but one of the issues we might run into is people not feeling comfortable opening up (or even hinting that they need to open up) by posting on this thread. If individuals want to offer a support network by offering their private messages as a location (in the first post where the users would be identified and tagged), it might be more helpful.

 

[W3H5]

Blimp?

I was thinking more subtle, like a Cessna pulling a banner.
But slow chat aside, it would help if I could raise some awareness.

@Blitz24, opening up in a public thread is tough enough for some long time members, which is why the intention is for anyone wanting to discuss private matters are encourage to use personal messages. This thread is just a way to let them know that there is somebody out there who is willing to help.

 

[mellofello9]

Private messages are good, so is public engagement...likely a mix of preferences there so maybe flexibility would be key. I'd bet just knowing someone would take the time to post something like this has already helped more people than you realize. It's (likely) safe to say that a majority of humans have gotten to that "NOBODY F*%&ING CARES!!" moment only to happen upon a post like this (or some other seemingly innocuous event) and realize to the contrary. There is magic in the unassuming.

I am neither scholar or therapist, but DID spend many years bartending. While I doubt "Inebriated Psychology 101" will be showing-up on any curricula, it does have its benefits.

Point being, this is a great idea and thanks for posting it. I'll keep an eye out, here and the inbox.

EDIT

@TexRex Zepplin...the answer is always ZEPPLIN...

 

[W3H5]

Zepplin...the answer is always ZEPPLIN...

They certainly get a Whole Lotta Love from me.

Gentle bump reminder to let you know you’re not alone out there and if you got problems, well, a problem shared is a problem halved.

 

[W3H5]

I need advice, ladies and gents, please.

I’ve been running a tabletop RPG game as a school club for the past year without trouble.
A new admin member who seems to be fundamentalist Christian (it’s not a faith school but the owner is big on church) and is causing me concern on whether or not he’s going to cancel my club.

My game is family friendly; no adult themes like violence or devil worship, but it has a low fantasy dark ages setting, as most of these games do. Think LotR if that helps set the scene.

There’s nothing in my game worthy of criticism from a rational perspective. The players do heroic stuff to help others. Pretty wholesome.

If this chap insists that my fantasy setting is the issue, should I be that guy to remind him that for a large percentage of the world, his bible is a work of fantasy and his idol (and mine, I like Jesus’ core values) is a story where the main character undergoes necromancy and is a zombie by modern standards, and the miracles of water to wine and curing illness are technically “magic”? Don’t get me started on the immaculate conception.

I don’t want to lose my job over this. The guy is technically my senior. I don’t think I could stand by and let the hypocrisy destroy one of my favourite activities at school that the kids all love and enjoy.

For what it’s worth, the little extra I get paid for this club doesn’t even cover material costs and there’s a lot of prep for each session done on my own time.

So, am I the a-hole?

Really having a bit of a head scratch about this one.

Edit: after some reflection, I’ve decided the best thing I can do is invite the problematic individual to play a short demo game with me and see first hand that it’s more than appropriate for kids. If he refuses then he shouldn’t have any ground to stand on, as he’s already admitted that he hasn’t the first clue about D&D or any other RPG.

 

[Jimlaad43]

You are not the a-hole in any way @W3H5

Has the guy specifically come and said he doesn't like the stories you are running, or do you just "get that vibe" off of him.

You just need to emphasise the educational and relaxing nature of RPG sessions to him. It allows the kids to be creative, use rational thinking and a bit of maths in there to keep them going. It develops skills in language from players who want to act in a different way to their normal personality, and therefore have to deduce ways to come up with conveying information differently.

In the end, you are offering escapism in a wholly fictional world. If he objects because of his religion, tell him to **** off. He isn't playing the game. "I can't do that because of my religion" is a valid excuse, "You can't do that because of my religion" is controlling behaviour and shouldn't be tolerated if it is something which is not causing harm and shows to have benefits. We're not talking about burning copies of the Bible or art classes on how to draw Muhammad, it's just a bit of fantasy escapism that isn't harming him. If he cannot tell the difference between a fantasy world and actual devil worshipping, that's a him problem, not you.

 

[W3H5]

Has the guy specifically come and said he doesn't like the stories you are running, or do you just "get that vibe" off of him.

I received an email featuring a Reddit linked video of the 80’s Satanic Panic news story that involved a death of some sort, might have been a suicide but was totally unrelated to the game. I think I’ll go back to that link and see which r/ it came from. Maybe it’s a group of nut jobs.

Edit: it’s from r/videos so I guess just the first thing that popped up under the search term.

I just about to watch it so hopefully it’s not against AUP.

 

[Jimlaad43]

I have to be careful here because I like to fight fire with fire and treat people how they treat me in cases of rudely butting in like this, even if it makes the situation worse. So take some of my advice with a pinch of salt.

If he is completely convinced by one video found on a quick Google search, reply with another video which highlights all the positive sides of it. It isn't exactly GTA or any other highly violent or offensive game.

What he and you need to realise is that, as both the teacher and the DM, you control what happens and what the storyline follows. You have full control on censorship, themes, plotlines and character behaviours. You are acting as the role model for the students, and therefore can keep the themes away from nastier aspects or themes which you might do with a group of close friends of a similar age range. Basically, if this guy wants you to stay away from devil worshipping, you can very easily plan things that avoid it. However, I have a feeling that nothing you are doing is anywhere near that and therefore this guy needs to stop worrying.

 

[W3H5]

I have to be careful here because I like to fight fire with fire and treat people how they treat me in cases of rudely butting in like this, even if it makes the situation worse. So take some of my advice with a pinch of salt.

If he is completely convinced by one video found on a quick Google search, reply with another video which highlights all the positive sides of it. It isn't exactly GTA or any other highly violent or offensive game.

What he and you need to realise is that, as both the teacher and the DM, you control what happens and what the storyline follows. You have full control on censorship, themes, plotlines and character behaviours. You are acting as the role model for the students, and therefore can keep the themes away from nastier aspects or themes which you might do with a group of close friends of a similar age range. Basically, if this guy wants you to stay away from devil worshipping, you can very easily plan things that avoid it. However, I have a feeling that nothing you are doing is anywhere near that and therefore this guy needs to stop worrying.

I think you’ve presented me with a suitable answer - I control what happens.
Still not entirely sure what the problem is so I’m going to have to ask for clarity and discuss these things in person.

Thanks for the support Jimlaad. A problem shared is indeed a problem halved. Much appreciate your input. 👍

 

[Jimlaad43]

I think you’ve presented me with a suitable answer - I control what happens.
Still not entirely sure what the problem is so I’m going to have to ask for clarity and discuss these things in person.

Thanks for the support Jimlaad. A problem shared is indeed a problem halved. Much appreciate your input. 👍

I run D&D sessions with some friends myself, they are Christian and I respect their religion by avoiding sending the party anywhere that could get into issues with that.
In the end, as you wrote "you control it" and can adjust if something doesn't work. I made my friends stumble across a known NPC potentially being caught making the walk of shame from an affair, but they reacted in a way that was more "we are staying out of that" and I haven't sent the party anywhere near plotlines like that since.

If anyone has any problems with your storyline, sit them down and ask them to explain what specific aspects they are worried about and you can talk through what you are doing to avoid those issues. The guy needs to be told under no circumstances is he going to get the club cancelled because that is overreacting, but if he wants to know how it benefits the kids, there is a lot it does and you can basically clear his conscience on what he is worried about "teaching the kids".

Are the students involved religious? If it's a multi-faith or even mainly atheist group of kids, I don't see how one guy complaining about offending just one religion would be much of an issue.


As I said, in the end, you are offering escapism, storytelling and something which allows kids to be creative and make new friends. You have control over keeping the content PG and it is your responsibility as their teacher to judge what is appropriate and non-offensive.

 

[W3H5]

Are the students involved religious? If it's a multi-faith or even mainly atheist group of kids, I don't see how one guy complaining about offending just one religion would be much of an issue.

Everything you’ve said is spot on.

It’s a mixed group of nationalities and backgrounds. The principle’s kids attend and they’re quite Cristian but there’s never been an issue until now. It is a Christian/Western school, but it’s not a faith school, so to speak.

With any luck I’m making a big deal over nothing and everything continues as it was.

 

[W3H5]

A self-serving thread. How convenient!

My mistress, beer, has become useless. As has my new fling with cannabis. I’ve become completely tolerant to both unless in large quantities, which is never good.

My sleep patterns are really out of shape, mainly from malnutrition which is caused by lack of appetite and overworking my liver.

I can’t imagine a world without beer. The cannabis I can take or leave, currently.

The main impact is on my mental health. Dread and doom are prominent in my mind after reaching a point beyond normal consumption. Yet I’m more afraid of the withdrawal that lands me in an even darker place mentally, and ravishes my body physically, to the point where Valium might be the only thing that keeps me alive.

It’s a sorry state of affairs that I’ve come to view as normal. This is not my first rodeo with alcoholism, but this the first time I’ve been almost completely tolerant to the effects of narcotics. At least when I was getting drunk or high, or both, I felt like I was gaining some semblance of distortion from reality. Now I face reality alone without chemical influences, and it’s a bit too much for me to process.

I’ll be lucky if I wake up for school on time tomorrow. I’ll be lucky if I don’t collapse in on myself in the next few weeks.

Had to share that, as if things go sour, I may not ever establish a thought process to get me out of the aforementioned dilemma.

The slope is slippery, and I’m just literally held together by parental duties and Prozac.

 

[mellofello9]

A self-serving thread. How convenient!

My mistress, beer, has become useless. As has my new fling with cannabis. I’ve become completely tolerant to both unless in large quantities, which is never good.

My sleep patterns are really out of shape, mainly from malnutrition which is caused by lack of appetite and overworking my liver.

I can’t imagine a world without beer. The cannabis I can take or leave, currently.

The main impact is on my mental health. Dread and doom are prominent in my mind after reaching a point beyond normal consumption. Yet I’m more afraid of the withdrawal that lands me in an even darker place mentally, and ravishes my body physically, to the point where Valium might be the only thing that keeps me alive.

It’s a sorry state of affairs that I’ve come to view as normal. This is not my first rodeo with alcoholism, but this the first time I’ve been almost completely tolerant to the effects of narcotics. At least when I was getting drunk or high, or both, I felt like I was gaining some semblance of distortion from reality. Now I face reality alone without chemical influences, and it’s a bit too much for me to process.

I’ll be lucky if I wake up for school on time tomorrow. I’ll be lucky if I don’t collapse in on myself in the next few weeks.

Had to share that, as if things go sour, I may not ever establish a thought process to get me out of the aforementioned dilemma.

The slope is slippery, and I’m just literally held together by parental duties and Prozac.

You'll make it, true story.

I was downing a half gallon of cheap ass vodka every two days. Almost lost family, lost jobs, Dad died, FiL died, Mom died, almost lost house, etc. I only outline to relate as I was in a similar situation. Family to look after (I wasn't) and bills to pay (also wasn't) and there I was laying off the rails and hoping nobody would put me back on. Really, to just die would have been easier. But, and in reality, it's not.

Then I found myself sitting in the parking lot of my brand new employer post orientation and mildly hammered. Since it was mid-COVID, nobody was getting close enough to smell a damn thing. As I sat there, one of the first things that popped to mind was how cool it was going to be to have to drive to work. I could get loaded in the parking lot and nobody would know (never a true story). That's when the ridiculousness of it all landed on me. Just landed and made official a new chance at life and that's where my brain went. Time to realign. I was completely over feeling like a junkie and walked-away. I joined AA and attended three meetings. Surrounding myself with folks who couldn't quit was simply arming myself with excuses...if they can't quit, why should I? That's not to say anything negative about AA. Like they teach, everybody's journey is unique and they've some simply amazing success stories to share...I'm just not wired to be one of them, and for whatever reason.

Did it suck just quitting? Sure did, and a whole bunch. Shaking hands, lack of appetite and general malaise are hallmarks of that journey, but it's a journey worth taking. It also brings your psychological addiction into the physical world, which is never comfortable as it's exposed for all to see. That said, people need to see/know. It is important to note, quitting cold-turkey can be dangerous. Your body is pretty out of balance and depending on health, having some oversight to your progress is critical. I was overweight by almost 100 lbs, blood pressure was through the roof, turning grey and, essentially, dying. Just cutting-off the liquor supply would likely not have been a doctors recommended approach.

Alcohol has been a problem for me since the first time I drank it. I learned early that, if the brain needed soothing, that was not the way to go. Weed and alcohol were playing a duet in my life for years but, truth be told, only one can lead the band. Once I carved alcohol out of the diet, everything stabilized for me.

Here's the key...do it for yourself. When you do it for yourself, you're helping everyone around you anyway. There is no shame in making yourself the most important thing in the room for a minute. If you are like me, you put everyone else first, and all the time. That's not going to help you right now. No matter how bad you think things are, when you look around you realize it can always be worse. Find a ray of sunshine and hold on to it with everything you have because that's what will carry you through the end of this tunnel you are traveling, my friend.

Never lose your light. 👍

 

[W3H5]

You'll make it, true story.

I was downing a half gallon of cheap ass vodka every two days. Almost lost family, lost jobs, Dad died, FiL died, Mom died, almost lost house, etc. I only outline to relate as I was in a similar situation. Family to look after (I wasn't) and bills to pay (also wasn't) and there I was laying off the rails and hoping nobody would put me back on. Really, to just die would have been easier. But, and in reality, it's not.

Then I found myself sitting in the parking lot of my brand new employer post orientation and mildly hammered. Since it was mid-COVID, nobody was getting close enough to smell a damn thing. As I sat there, one of the first things that popped to mind was how cool it was going to be to have to drive to work. I could get loaded in the parking lot and nobody would know (never a true story). That's when the ridiculousness of it all landed on me. Just landed and made official a new chance at life and that's where my brain went. Time to realign. I was completely over feeling like a junkie and walked-away. I joined AA and attended three meetings. Surrounding myself with folks who couldn't quit was simply arming myself with excuses...if they can't quit, why should I? That's not to say anything negative about AA. Like they teach, everybody's journey is unique and they've some simply amazing success stories to share...I'm just not wired to be one of them, and for whatever reason.

Did it suck just quitting? Sure did, and a whole bunch. Shaking hands, lack of appetite and general malaise are hallmarks of that journey, but it's a journey worth taking. It also brings your psychological addiction into the physical world, which is never comfortable as it's exposed for all to see. That said, people need to see/know. It is important to note, quitting cold-turkey can be dangerous. Your body is pretty out of balance and depending on health, having some oversight to your progress is critical. I was overweight by almost 100 lbs, blood pressure was through the roof, turning grey and, essentially, dying. Just cutting-off the liquor supply would likely not have been a doctors recommended approach.

Alcohol has been a problem for me since the first time I drank it. I learned early that, if the brain needed soothing, that was not the way to go. Weed and alcohol were playing a duet in my life for years but, truth be told, only one can lead the band. Once I carved alcohol out of the diet, everything stabilized for me.

Here's the key...do it for yourself. When you do it for yourself, you're helping everyone around you anyway. There is no shame in making yourself the most important thing in the room for a minute. If you are like me, you put everyone else first, and all the time. That's not going to help you right now. No matter how bad you think things are, when you look around you realize it can always be worse. Find a ray of sunshine and hold on to it with everything you have because that's what will carry you through the end of this tunnel you are traveling, my friend.

Never lose your light. 👍

Thank you. Truly. It helps to hear stories of recovery.

I’ve been through it before, bout of sobriety litter my past like sparks in the dark. However, I can’t convince myself this time.

I’ve always been very selfless, except for when alcohol is involved.

Thankfully I’m not a breaking point like I have been in the past (regular viewers will know about my struggles).

AA has never been a prospect for me. As much as I will openly admit to alcoholism, I’m a lot more clandestine about seeking help. It’s only a problem when I’m in dire straights, and for the last while I’ve been a functioning alcoholic.

I have a lot to loose, selfishly speaking. I’ve carved out a good life despite the alcoholism, but I’m surrounded by enablers who are unaware of the collateral damaged done by constant consumption. The culture I live in is one of acceptable alcoholism and is far from taboo.

I thought that being a parent and the unrelenting love and drive to raise my daughter would steer me away from such things, but, alas, I make excuses to myself and continue to drink.

There are numerous reasons; my wife is a workaholic and spends little time at home, when she’s not abroad. Broken family, abused as a child, mental chemical imbalance, a life of substance abuse. You get the picture. I’m not leaning on that as an excuse for my current circumstance, but it certainly lit the way.

I appreciate that doing it for myself would be the correct way to go about it, but I’m as much full of self loathing as I am a conscience effort to survive for my family.

The worst part for me is that’s it’s almost involuntary, habitual, and almost terrifying to think of sobriety.

I thought that cannabis would solve the issue, and it did, for a while. Then that became ineffective but I continued to micro dose in the hope that it’d displace the alcohol.

For the last few years I haven’t got into trouble, haven’t put my life at risk, haven’t even drank outside much. I just sit at home and drink beer like it’s the stuff of life (it is mostly 95% water). I interact with my daughter, get work done and don’t even notice the hangover. (I will tonight as I’m well past my bed time and will be starting summer school tomorrow.)

With regards to physical health (I won’t even get stated on wheee my mind goes during withdrawal), I’m pretty sure my liver is ****ed. Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve had a fatty live. My weight is stable but I’m still underweight and malnourished. I’m rotting from the inside out and don’t seem to mind.

There is literally nothing that can stop my compulsion to beer right now. The only saving grace might be that I consider spirits to inconvenient. Otherwise I’d probably drown in rum.

Thanks for your reply. It helps to know that I’m not the only one and that it can be overcome. I still doubt that I will overcome it though.

 

[MatskiMonk]

It helps to know that I’m not the only one

If it helps, you can pretty much just always assume I'm sat here wrestling similar demons. Don't have any suggestions though.

... well, take up painting, or drawing, or coding, something that engages the mind. It sounds like you (as am I) are drinking to avoid reality, an engaging past-time might help as a distraction. If you're doing something that requires you to use your hands, you're less likely to swig as much, and silly though it sounds, filling an empty with tap water and having that to swig on instead of beer might reduce the intake a little.

In terms of nurishment, I drink 'Huel'. Not sure if it's available in your part of the world, but it ensures a certain level of lazy nutrition, if nothing else.

And as I recently mentioned in the other thread, St. John's Wort is the only tablet of all the commonly prescribed ones, that has a positive effect on my mood.

Anyway... cheers.

 

[W3H5]

…And I’m off from work with the DTs.

Thankfully it’s only physical and I’m not too confused or hallucinating like I have been in previous times.

All I can think about is how a beer would make it all go away. The irony.

 

[mellofello9]

…And I’m off from work with the DTs.

Thankfully it’s only physical and I’m not too confused or hallucinating like I have been in previous times.

All I can think about is how a beer would make it all go away. The irony.

Sucks...I remember waking at 3 - 4 in the morning just to run and throw a couple shots back so I could go back to sleep. The circular nature of it all is confounding. Alcohol is like gravity in that it's tough to escape, but the weightlessness once you do is ****ing awesome. 😁

To be honest, I'm not sure alcoholism (fun note, they've started calling it 'Alcohol Use Disorder'🤣) is something you recover from and, for me, was a bad perspective. Sure, there are the physical hang-ups (DT's, etc.) but it really boils down to acknowledging that you shouldn't/can't do that. Simple. The minute we start adding steps, thresholds and progress markers we're creating a pass/fail culture. This does nothing to foster success in my world.

Again, this is just me blathering through a keyboard on the other side of the internet, but, it seems that approach could be creating as many failures as it does successes. In the end, we've turned something that is literally a bad choice into a psychological prison that cannot be escaped without an international support network. Why? I would present that it's because a whole bunch of people many years ago found it easier to say "I can't help myself..." than to say "I don't want to help myself..."

Three years ago I decided to quit. Just quit. No weaning, just a desire to not be tied to a clear jug filled with suicide fuel. I wanted to die, which was why I was drinking the way I was. Figure out why you want to be dead and figure out a path through it. That path does not require that the issue be fixed, only that it be acknowledged as being tended to as best it can, and when it can.👍

 

[MatskiMonk]

Again, this is just me blathering through a keyboard on the other side of the internet, but, it seems that approach could be creating as many failures as it does successes. In the end, we've turned something that is literally a bad choice into a psychological prison that cannot be escaped without an international support network. Why? I would present that it's because a whole bunch of people many years ago found it easier to say "I can't help myself..." than to say "I don't want to help myself..."

I think when you are actually quitting the correct approach may vary a lot from person to person, from both a physical and psychological point of view. It can be literally, dangerous, rather than simply difficult to go cold turkey for some people, and for some the void that's left behind mentally might be a shove towards something worse... in both respects I'd suggest how quickly you can or should just stop, is related to your underlying physical and mental health.

... to your last point specifically though, quitting alcohol is hard for most people, I don't think there's anything wrong with saying "I can't help myself..." or "I don't want to help myself", or both. I wouldn't advocate anyone develops an alcohol dependency, but let's be real, we get something positive out of drinking or else we wouldn't do it - giving up and loosing that positive thing could be very difficult, and coping with that as well as facing whatever else you couldn't face sober is going to be tough, and being honest enough with yourself to admit that you might need help with it, because you might not actually want to quit, is no bad thing.

I mean, I'm not disagreeing with your approach either, I'd be what I'd have to do - but likewise a friend 20 years my senior (and I'm 44), has been told he has to stop by his doctor, and has very specifically been told to ease into it or else it could kill him. What's right for some, may not be right for others.

 

[mellofello9]

I think when you are actually quitting the correct approach may vary a lot from person to person, from both a physical and psychological point of view. It can be literally, dangerous, rather than simply difficult to go cold turkey for some people, and for some the void that's left behind mentally might be a shove towards something worse... in both respects I'd suggest how quickly you can or should just stop, is related to your underlying physical and mental health.

... to your last point specifically though, quitting alcohol is hard for most people, I don't think there's anything wrong with saying "I can't help myself..." or "I don't want to help myself", or both. I wouldn't advocate anyone develops an alcohol dependency, but let's be real, we get something positive out of drinking or else we wouldn't do it - giving up and loosing that positive thing could be very difficult, and coping with that as well as facing whatever else you couldn't face sober is going to be tough, and being honest enough with yourself to admit that you might need help with it, because you might not actually want to quit, is no bad thing.

I mean, I'm not disagreeing with your approach either, I'd be what I'd have to do - but likewise a friend 20 years my senior (and I'm 44), has been told he has to stop by his doctor, and has very specifically been told to ease into it or else it could kill him. What's right for some, may not be right for others.

100% agree on all points, especially the dangers of quitting cold turkey. As I alluded to in a previous post, alcoholism is to be treated with great care medically. There is simply NO WAY I should have quit the way I did. I also recognize that I got very, very lucky. For that I am appreciative each and every day.

I also firmly believe that every journey through the seas of liquor is unique, just like we are. Whenever I speak on this topic I strive to indicate that this is how it all went down for me and is by no means the correct answer for anyone else. Maybe someone, but certainly not everyone.

Quitting alcohol is hard for everybody I've met that has willingly chosen to do so, and I certainly wasn't an exception. If I made it sound easy, I apologize. It isn't. For those with addictive personalities, this is a LOT harder to conquer because, yes, we all love it in the moment. We love it for its reality bending qualities and we stay for the same. For me, acknowledging the issue was the big step and I was firmly in the "don't want to" camp. Regardless, what either answer cannot be is justification for continued use through perceived helplessness, and it certainly was for me.

I only challenge that said sense of 'helplessness' is further calcified when we frame things as impossible to escape. To me it would seem that such bleak forecasts run the risk of warning folks into the wrong decision. "If it's impossible to overcome, why bother trying?"

Personally, I looked for any excuse to justify a refill and excuses run a plenty when you're standing in front of the store. Why add one more, is my position.

 

[mellofello9]

Hey @W3H5, how you doin'?

 

[W3H5]

Hey @W3H5, how you doin'?

Alright, thanks.

Missing a day of work thanks to withdrawal on Wednesday really got me to reflect on how absolutely toxic alcohol is to me and I’ve had a shift in perspective somewhat.

I got myself back on track Thursdays evening with a low dose of Thai stick. It helped me get my focus back, get my gears back in motion so to speak.

My main focus now is on improving my physical health, cutting back consumption of everything unnecessary, including the matrix that is the modern internet, and spending more time focused on where I’m going instead of where I’ve been.

I’m so sick of punishing my future self.

I don’t know how long I can stay level headed. I always seem to find my way back to a bottle, but for now it’s out of mind while I keep busy living how I should be.

Thanks for checking in. I appreciate it.

 

[mellofello9]

Alright, thanks.

Missing a day of work thanks to withdrawal on Wednesday really got me to reflect on how absolutely toxic alcohol is to me and I’ve had a shift in perspective somewhat.

I got myself back on track Thursdays evening with a low dose of Thai stick. It helped me get my focus back, get my gears back in motion so to speak.

My main focus now is on improving my physical health, cutting back consumption of everything unnecessary, including the matrix that is the modern internet, and spending more time focused on where I’m going instead of where I’ve been.

I’m so sick of punishing my future self.

I don’t know how long I can stay level headed. I always seem to find my way back to a bottle, but for now it’s out of mind while I keep busy living how I should be.

Thanks for checking in. I appreciate it.

Great to hear on all counts. If you've lost the bottle in the past, don't fret over finding it again. History will repeat itself. Sooner or later the desire/need to go looking again diminishes. Even then, if it doesn't, wash/rinse/repeat. If you've taken any steps that you qualify as progress, it's never a failure, and no matter how many times you re-trace those same steps.

I think you summed up how almost every alcoholic feels exceptionally well, btw:

• "I'm so sick of punishing my future self."

5-star review and will read repeatedly as that, kind sir, struck very near and dear to me. Thank you for that.

I'm glad you're here. Humanity is a brotherhood whether you like the humans around you or not. We're not designed to do this alone so we might as well enjoy each-others company. 😁

 

[MatskiMonk]

I think you summed up how almost every alcoholic feels exceptionally well, btw:

• "I'm so sick of punishing my future self."

5-star review and will read repeatedly as that, kind sir, struck very near and dear to me. Thank you for th

I'm going to have to start posting my thoughts in a different thread... totes a Debbie Downer.

I don't really give a **** about my future self, I know at some point in the past my life peaked and everything between then and death is a slow depressing slide towards oblivion. Mouth cancer, throat cancer, stomach cancer, arse cancer - it's all on the cards, why the **** would I want to live through that? Just to live out my last decades in poverty and irrelevance?

If I thought there was genuine hope for a better existence why would I be drinking in the first place? I've outlived my Mum, I feel obliged to out live my Dad, after that... **** it... strap dynamite to me and trebuchet me at Parliament.