Society has reached a new low.

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Der Alta

Der Alta

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Yes, My wife and I went out to Bertucci's Brick Oven Pizza last night for a few beers and a pizza. I specifically asked for a back corner table to avoid young children. Upon entering, I had noticed a table of a young couple with 4 children. Yes, I asked to be seated in the opposite end of the restaurant. A little peace and quiet while the missus and I enjoyed a dinner is not much to ask for.

Shortly after our complimentary bread arrived we noticed a fairly pregnant woman pushing a stroller with a young child (2 years old or so) in it, accompanied by her husband. They seated themselves not far from us. Yes, my bad luck holds true.

The first thing to come out of the gargantuan backpack was a small silver box. Where upon the father flipped its lid up and hit the play button on the portable DVD Player. "Monsters Inc." whirred to life and the 2 year old glue his wide open eyes to the screen. They played the sound at an appropriate level (about the same level as speaking adults would talk).

Through out the entire meal, the kid's eyes did not waiver from the movie. He did not speak a word, or even make a noise.

SO now I'm torn. Yes, Society has reached a new low, in that the TV has become the babysitter where ever the parents go. The kid will not learn appropriate public behavior or manners. It's just inevitably delaying the moment when he should be taught manners. It does this kid no good to plug him into a TV all the time.

However, I'm stymied on this because my wife and I were able to enjoy our meal without screaming kids. For a change we were able to hear out waiter. On occasion I could hear the kids at the other end of the place. For the most part, it wasn't bad.

What're your thoughts on this? Was the portable DVD a good or bad thing?

AO
 
I think the portable DVD player is just an extension of Tv. For how many decades has TV been the sole educator of thousands of kids after school? I think it was only a matter of time until the convenience of "the tube" moved out of the home.

Is it a good thing? No , I dont think so. As you say, the kid needs to learn how to act and behave in a public environment responsibly. How is that to be done if the kid is glued to the player? It also sets a bad tone for parents buying kids stuff to cover up the absence of the parents attention due to work oligation.
 
tv has helped me educate, seriously i learnt what a haiku is from a south park episode. but the portable dvd player is silly i think. the kid will expect everything new that comes out when he grows older. he'll be the kid in school that always has the brand new gizmo like a minidisk because his parents spoiled him as a youngin.

the kid wont appreciate working to get stuff when he can get it off his folks.
 
That's just wrong...

Some time back, our family went down to this fairly good Pakistani restaurant and this couple walked in with 4 kids. They gave the older kid cash to go down the street to a mcdonalds and bring the food BACK to the restaurant and then they made their kids sit on a separate table. So the kids were basically eating something that they *hoped* was meat while their parents were eating good food (BBQ - very few kids EVER turn that down). Then, when the kids started getting noisy and pissing off everyone else at the restaurant, the parents ignored them...

Every year you see people get more and more lazy...damn, being lazy with your own kids and going to the point of doing anything they can to ignore them? That's just wrong. The worst part is when you see more and more parents doing things like this.
 
Originally posted by Tercel_driver
So this was it ?
Somehow I dont think the title fits the thread.
Click to expand...
The title fits exactly.

Society has deemed it appropo to bring a TV to a restaurant to babysit the children, while the parents eat. The parents have taken one more step away from their responsibility to their children. Now, the only reason the parents tote their kid around is because they can't leave a two year old alone in front of the TV. They have a TV in the car, a TV at home, a TV at the Daycare, and now, a TV sitting on the dinner table. Even worse, they brought it to a restaurant.

AO
 
The tv-kid problem has been there since it was released for the public market.

Somehow I still think you are overreacting.

Besides, you dont know if the parents are behaving their kids. You cant form that statement out of a simple thing you see.

At first I thought the thread was going to be about an immoral rule, or something alike that happened.
 
Originally posted by Tercel_driver
The tv-kid problem has been there since it was released for the public market.

Somehow I still think you are overreacting.

Besides, you dont know if the parents are behaving their kids. You cant form that statement out of a simple thing you see.

At first I thought the thread was going to be about an immoral rule, or something alike that happened.
Click to expand...
So you're saying that it's quite possible the kid only gets plunked down in front of the TV when they go out to eat? Other than that they could be doting parents who teach their child on a consistent basis? I can lean towards one assumption more than the other. I do think that kid sees way too much TV. If the parents are apt to spend a good chunk of cash to keep their kid quiet during dinner, it's more likely to happen at home, when Mom needs a moment of peace then as well.

I may be overreacting, but do you see anything odd about bringing a TV to a restaurant to keep your kid occupied so you can eat dinner?

AO
 
Originally posted by Der Alta
I may be overreacting, but do you see anything odd about bringing a TV to a restaurant to keep your kid occupied so you can eat dinner?
Click to expand...
Speaking as the parent of two children, ages 8 and 11, I don't think you're overreacting at all. I think that is truly, utterly, and completely atrocious on the part of the parents. It indicates complete abdication of their role as the correctors and mentors of their child's behaviour.

I would never dream of doing such a thing, even if the technology had been available when my kids were that age. Never. Yes, I lend my kids my handheld to entertain themselves during a long wait for a table. Yes, we bring the laptop and an AC convertor along in the van for long trips, so they can watch a movie. But the car trip itself is not meant to be for socializing. When we arrive at the destination, the Palm or movie goes off, and the laptop stays in the car, so that we can enjoy the real activity together.

Dinner in a restaurant is meant to be a social thing. To anesthetize the child with TV is completely wrong. From the beginning, we have strived to teach our children correct behaviour: decent table manners, appropriate noise levels, sitting reasonably still during the meal. They have both ordered their own food from the waitperson from a very young age. Each little event like that is a learning opportunity or a practice opportunity to help develop a reasonable, self-sufficient and self-correcting child. Throwing that away is stupid and short-sighted. The results can be seen all over this forum.
 
When my family go out for a celebratory meal (2.4 im 2nd kid) my little brother who is 6 usually takes a book (spot the dinousaur etc) or more likely after this christmas, his GBA SP.
Now I understand that you wanted to get away from small kids making a noise and disturbing you, and that you were shocked to see this child watching a portable DVD player with teh sound on (I would have thought they might have used headphones) but what else do you suggest? It is a two year old. Do you expect this kid to read, which I think is unlikely for a 2 yr old child? Or would you rather it played with toys making sound effects as it goes along?
Theres only so much you can do with a young child in a restaurant. I think what the parents did was reasonable, tehers alot worse they could have done to you evening, and the child.
 
Yeah, its odd.

But I still think, that topic doesnt go with the thread content.

A better topic would be "The ultimate entertainment set up for toddlers, when going to a restaurant"

or something witty.
 
Actually, the topic is about the decline of parenting in modern technological society. The DVD player itself is a symptom, not the real topic. Titleing it that way would be missing the point.
 
another symptom would be internet and virtual reality video games.
i remember the times me and the neighborhood kids would actually play outside, go to the park and go to each others houses and play some backyard games... then ps1 came out and the n64, then all we would do was go over each others houses play video games and not even play on the street (private street) sidewalk or park.
i remember the kids would gather around when my bro would run his gas rc, i remember when i use to run my pocket bike and all the kids would run and ask for rides...
these days everyone is indoors, the kid group at parks arent there anymore and the park seems dead with just old people walking/getting there excersize.
oh yea my 10 yr old cousin got a cellphone for xmas...
 
The short answer is yes I can believe it - parents aren't taking the responsibility for raising their children anymore.

What do you do about it? Either fluff it off and go on with your life, or confront parents. I would have said something to them at the table. "Glad to see the TV still works as a babysitting while at a resturant. Excellent parenting skills." Just total assinine. Usually gets their attention.
 
Originally posted by ExigeExcel
Theres only so much you can do with a young child in a restaurant. I think what the parents did was reasonable, tehers alot worse they could have done to you evening, and the child.
Click to expand...
Alot worse to me, Yes. There's also a lot better they could have done with their child. Like teach him some appropriate manners. Interact with him, talk to him like he's part of the family, include him in some sort of way.

That's the whole point of what I was saying. While it made my evening better, they are doing more harm to the child than good. Yes, it made their evening nice and quiet. I'll give them props that I couldn't hear the movie. I'm certainly glad they didn't use headphones, as it would have locked that kids sensory perception away entirely. At that point, why take him out of diapers? Build an attachment to the stroller to mount the DVD player to, and give him some head phones. You'll only have to wheel the kid around. With a Mini-van, you can lift him up and lock the stroller in place in the back.

Yes, I'm taking the situation to extremes here. But is it really that far of a stretch?

I'm still tossed up on the situation. Sure, it made my evening good, but this kid is likely to grow up with a warped sense of manners. And inevitably, I'll get seated next to him and his kids later on.

AO
 
From the view of a parent, my child at the age of two was not ready to 'learn' proper public behavior in a setting where it wouldn't be disruptive to everyone around. Is it good for the child to learn these things? Yes, but not at the expense of "your" quite evening with your wife. Such things should be practiced at home, where if a spanking or other disaplinary action is taken, the crying of a child would not disrupt those around you.

So....is the DVD player taking away from the child's developmental growth in social interaction? My guess is that they don't eat out very often and they could quite possibly be going out for the first time in over two years. I say if they can manage to keep their two year old under control long enough for "everyone" to enjoy thier two hour meal, then so be it. Sounds good to me. Again, given the age....chances are your evening would have been disrupted by the childs "socializing". There is point at which the child should be completely responsive to instruction from it's parents, at that point, the DVD player should be left at home. I feel your concern, but wonder how extreem it really is. Personally, until my son had enough manners, we never ate out! I felt too bad for everyone else there. I waited until he was old enough to understand what type of manners I expected from him.
 
Originally posted by Der Alta


What're your thoughts on this? Was the portable DVD a good or bad thing?

AO
Click to expand...

Not bad at all, I think the parents did the right thing and demonstrated their courtesy by understanding the feelings of the people around them.

I see nothing wrong with a movie in the car on a long trip, hell, it would actually be better for everyone in he car.

There are limits though, such as planting your kids in front of the television at home just because you want to read or whatever, play with your damn kids when your at home, what the hell do people have them for if they are just going to disgard them?
 
Originally posted by Der Alta
Yes, My wife and I went out to Bertucci's Brick Oven Pizza last night for a few beers and a pizza. I specifically asked for a back corner table to avoid young children. Upon entering, I had noticed a table of a young couple with 4 children. Yes, I asked to be seated in the opposite end of the restaurant. A little peace and quiet while the missus and I enjoyed a dinner is not much to ask for.

Shortly after our complimentary bread arrived we noticed a fairly pregnant woman pushing a stroller with a young child (2 years old or so) in it, accompanied by her husband. They seated themselves not far from us. Yes, my bad luck holds true.

The first thing to come out of the gargantuan backpack was a small silver box. Where upon the father flipped its lid up and hit the play button on the portable DVD Player. "Monsters Inc." whirred to life and the 2 year old glue his wide open eyes to the screen. They played the sound at an appropriate level (about the same level as speaking adults would talk).

Through out the entire meal, the kid's eyes did not waiver from the movie. He did not speak a word, or even make a noise.

SO now I'm torn. Yes, Society has reached a new low, in that the TV has become the babysitter where ever the parents go. The kid will not learn appropriate public behavior or manners. It's just inevitably delaying the moment when he should be taught manners. It does this kid no good to plug him into a TV all the time.

However, I'm stymied on this because my wife and I were able to enjoy our meal without screaming kids. For a change we were able to hear out waiter. On occasion I could hear the kids at the other end of the place. For the most part, it wasn't bad.

What're your thoughts on this? Was the portable DVD a good or bad thing?

AO
Click to expand...


That just goes to show your how lazy Americans are. Well, some of 'em. :D
 
Well, I don't think it's appropriate to take a young child to a proper restaurant. Is the venue in question a child-oriented place? I personally find that young children can be quite off-putting in a restaurant, especially if the parents let them run amok. So, if there were no child-friendly places to eat in the locality, then I think that the parents did the right thing.

Der Alta's analogy of the TV "being the babysitter" is an interesting one, because some would argue that it is better to keep the children with them than it is to pay some kid $15 to look after them in their own house for the night. Where (let's face it) they're only going to watch TV anyway.

It seems to me that diversionary tactics are a popular weapon in the armoury of parents of youngsters, and this is not necessarily a bad thing, because there are times when young children will not listen to reason (and the rest of the time, they're asleep).

I guess it depends upon the age of the children and the type of restaurant. But in the scene you described Der Alta, I'm not sure I would be so outraged.
 
Originally posted by millencolin
tv has helped me educate, seriously i learnt what a haiku is from a south park episode. but the portable dvd player is silly i think. the kid will expect everything new that comes out when he grows older. he'll be the kid in school that always has the brand new gizmo like a minidisk because his parents spoiled him as a youngin.

the kid wont appreciate working to get stuff when he can get it off his folks.
Click to expand...

Lol, South Park taught me what a clitorus(sp?) is, I mean where would a 12 yr old be without that piece of information? Nah joking a side this kids gonna have no chance later in life, he'll be the kid who sits on his own unable to interact with ppl except to talk about how many gameboy games he has. Then the first girl he ever gets with, if it ever happens, he will marry and be unhappy for the rest of his life simply because his parents didnt teach him any manners and people skills. I do however like Portable DVD players as they awesome for long trips.
 
After teaching the kid some manners and people skills as a reward the parents shouldn't plug him/her into Monsters inc.... They should plug him/her into GT3
 
Originally posted by GilesGuthrie
It seems to me that diversionary tactics are a popular weapon in the armoury of parents of youngsters, and this is not necessarily a bad thing, because there are times when young children will not listen to reason (and the rest of the time, they're asleep).
Click to expand...
When children will not listen to reason, that is the time for disciplinary actions to be taken. Unfortunately, most parents today are too scared to discipline their child, even in their own home. But if I did something wrong as a child, I got punished wether it be a ban on the TV or a spanking. I hated the spankings, but they were very good for me, since the spankings drew a very clear line between right and wrong, and it gave me respect for authority, something I am seeing less and less of in many of today's children based on others and my own experiences.
 
I was born in South Africa. I lived there for the first 8 years of my life. Anyway this one time at school I got a good old smack on the a** for doing something wrong and I must admit It's deffinitely alot clearer than a grounding.
 
I don't have time to read three page threads these days but...

Last time my wife and I went out to dinner with our ten month old we ended up leaving before our food got there. It was early on New Years Eve and we thought we'd beat the long wait at 5:00 PM. We were wrong. By the time we were seated we'd already been there over an hour. It took thirty minutes to get an appetizer, and by that time the boy was done being out. He started to cry and we'd exhausted every trick to keep him happy we knew. So we left.

i would never sit in a resturaunt with a screaming baby like I have seen so many times. It's very rude. And if I had a portable DVD I wouldn't bring it to a resturaunt for a kid. Eating together is a family togetherness opportunity. Lazy, neglectful parents piss me off. And this comes from a kid who watched hours upon hours of TV every day growing up. I hardly watch it at all now.
 
if you can afford a portable DVD player, (I have one, they ain't cheap) you can afford a babysitter.

My kids are older now, but when they were little tykes, we went to "family oriented" restaraunts (read that, loud, raucous places).
And yes, they must be taught how to conduct themselves in public.
So, you start them in the McDonalds, where they have a Playplace, and a bunch of loud people. Then, advance them to "better" restaraunts as they mature.

As far as the DVD player, it was a considerate concession on the part of the parents, that totally disregarded their responsibility to teach this youngster how to behave in public.
I think portable DVD players are cool. But, they should be saved for long car rides with your children, for yourself, waiting in a doctor's office. and that sort of situation.
You can watch TV at home while you eat dinner. You go out to enjoy being waited on, and to enjoy each other's company.
 
No wonder kids are so fat. It's not their fault it's the fault ignorent parents, instead of running around and playing outside the kids are whachting tv all the time and what happens when they can't bring the tv with them? They get out the portable tv.

But then again today I've been pissed off since I read a transcirpt of Dubya's speech.
 
OK, I'm sure most of you know by now I'm a serious TV addict; perhaps the only GTP member with a shower TV. But, I don't like the idea of going out to dinner and play a DVD for the boys. Going out is a time for being wiht each other and talking about what we have been up to.

True, the couple obviously needed to go out because they were too tired to cook dinner, but bringing the DVD player was a bit much. On ther other hand, I remembered the old classic sit down Pizza Huts that had the little b&w TV set that would run for 15 minutes for a dollar. Waiting what seemed like a hour for pizza made us go a little nuts, so the TV was a great chance for us kids to settle down, and for mom and dad to talk to each other.

Besides, would the kids running around shooting straw rockets at each other, or screaming at the top of their lungs be more pleasant to you? I think they brought the DVD player as a curtious to other diners. Remember, sometimes parents are just too tired to deal with the kids.
 

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