Stupidest Criminal...

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Nothing is funnier than a stupid criminal, right?

There was a case where a burglar fell asleep on the bed, in the house, with the couple whose house he was robbing. It sounds crazy, but it's a true story. The folks at The Smoking Gun are having a funny award for this year's "Stupidest Criminal", so I thought to start a thread here to see if there were any good stories out there that we can submit to their editors (long-shot but hey, you never know!!) In case you want to check it out the show (it's called The Smoking Gun Year End Special), it's going to air next Thursday night, I believe at 10pm. These guys can be pretty hilarious so it's worth taping in case you aren't going to be home.
 
That's nothing compared to what happened to me once.

A man broke into my business via the roof. He broke through with a chainsaw and an axe. He climbed down from the hole he made and set off the alarm. In a haste, he left behind two pieces of critical evidence behind. The chainsaw, which was registered to his name and current address, and his wallet that had his drivers license and Social Security card.

So, the cops go to his house and question him. He tells them that he didn't do it, of course. They ask about where his chainsaw was. He said his brother borrowed it. They went to his brother's house, and found a meth lab. Both went to jail that night.
 
Solid Lifters
That's nothing compared to what happened to me once.

A man broke into my business via the roof. He broke through with a chainsaw and an axe. He climbed down from the hole he made and set off the alarm. In a haste, he left behind two pieces of critical evidence behind. The chainsaw, which was registered to his name and current address, and his wallet that had his drivers license and Social Security card.

So, the cops go to his house and question him. He tells them that he didn't do it, of course. They ask about where his chainsaw was. He said his brother borrowed it. They went to his brother's house, and found a meth lab. Both went to jail that night.
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I'm sure him and his brother had a nice chat that night in jail. :lol:
 
Solid Lifters
So, the cops go to his house and question him. He tells them that he didn't do it, of course. They ask about where his chainsaw was. He said his brother borrowed it. They went to his brother's house, and found a meth lab. Both went to jail that night.
Click to expand...

I'm glad they both got locked up. That is pretty funny.

When I was about 13 or 14, some guy tried to break into my mom's van while I was still in it. It was a Chevy conversion van, so he didn't see me in the back of the van, parked at this department store parking lot. I yell at this guy "hey!", he looks around thinking it came from someone outside. He gets back into his car parked right next to us, comes back out couple of minutes later, and start working on the triangle window with his screwdriver again. This time, I got in his face from inside and yelled "hey! what are you doing!". He's eyes got huge, then mumbles "this is my car". When I told him it's not, he just got back in his car, and drove away.

That was kind of funny, but the time my little brother almost got kidnapped in the same store years later, there was nothing funny about that. Sick b*stard. It was really close call, and if the creep was actually succesful in his attempt, I don't know if I've been able to get over losing my brother like that.
 
I like this one on that website - Milwaukee
In Milwaukee a man decided to break into a garage and steal on the of the business's popular pickup trucks. Not able to pick the lock, they blasted it away with a shotgun. Once inside, the man decided that he did not want the truck anymore because it was somehow full of bullet holes.

And this one -
Hey I Am 18Unknown
An 18-year-old man was charged with robbing a 7-11. When he walked in, pulled a gun a demanded money, the employee didn't panic. She calmly said, "I don't think you're old enough to be robbing us. Don't you have to be at least 16?" The thief then proceeded to pull out his wallet and showed the clerk his driver's license. The clerk quickly memorized the information on the license, than gave the thief the money. The cops arrested the robber at his home.



Positive IDNew York
As a woman exited her local convenience store, her pursed was snatched by a fleeting man. The clerk promptly called 911 and the woman gave a detailed description of the suspect. Within minutes, the police apprehended the alleged snatcher. They took him back to the store and told him to stand there for a positive ID. The man did as was told and said: "Yes officer, that's the woman I stole the purse from."
 
Solid Lifters
That's nothing compared to what happened to me once.

A man broke into my business via the roof. He broke through with a chainsaw and an axe. He climbed down from the hole he made and set off the alarm. In a haste, he left behind two pieces of critical evidence behind. The chainsaw, which was registered to his name and current address, and his wallet that had his drivers license and Social Security card.

So, the cops go to his house and question him. He tells them that he didn't do it, of course. They ask about where his chainsaw was. He said his brother borrowed it. They went to his brother's house, and found a meth lab. Both went to jail that night.
Click to expand...
:lol: Thats funny what a bunch of idots.
 
Solid Lifters
That's nothing compared to what happened to me once.

A man broke into my business via the roof. He broke through with a chainsaw and an axe. He climbed down from the hole he made and set off the alarm. In a haste, he left behind two pieces of critical evidence behind. The chainsaw, which was registered to his name and current address, and his wallet that had his drivers license and Social Security card.

So, the cops go to his house and question him. He tells them that he didn't do it, of course. They ask about where his chainsaw was. He said his brother borrowed it. They went to his brother's house, and found a meth lab. Both went to jail that night.
Click to expand...



:lol:!!
 
It proves the fact that those who are smart enough to get away with a crime are smart enough to know not to do it in the first place lol.
 
I've heard some funny stories from Australia. I'll try to re-tell them.

Doofus #1:
A man was in need of liquor for an up-coming party, but had no cash on him, so he decided to steal some. He went to the local Liquor Store with a brick and took no time in hurling it at the window. Little did he know that the window he was throwing it at was made of Plexi-Glass (also known as Flexi-Glass), and the brick bounced right back off the window, hitting him in the head and knocking him unconscious. It was all caught on tape.

Doofus #2:
Some absolute moron needed petrol, so he tried to syphon some petrol from a nearby Mobile Home/Caravan Trailer. But instead of syphoning from the petrol tank, he was syphoning out of the Sewerage Tank! The guy threw up everywhere. The owner of the Caravan Trailer decided not to press charges, as he said it was the best laugh he'd ever had! :lol:
 
Jimmy Enslashay
I've heard some funny stories from Australia. I'll try to re-tell them.

Doofus #1:
A man was in need of liquor for an up-coming party, but had no cash on him, so he decided to steal some. He went to the local Liquor Store with a brick and took no time in hurling it at the window. Little did he know that the window he was throwing it at was made of Plexi-Glass (also known as Flexi-Glass), and the brick bounced right back off the window, hitting him in the head and knocking him unconscious. It was all caught on tape.
Click to expand...

I hope they play this tape on one of those "funniest" video shows some day.

Jimmy Enslashay
Doofus #2:
Some absolute moron needed petrol, so he tried to syphon some petrol from a nearby Mobile Home/Caravan Trailer. But instead of syphoning from the petrol tank, he was syphoning out of the Sewerage Tank! The guy threw up everywhere. The owner of the Caravan Trailer decided not to press charges, as he said it was the best laugh he'd ever had! :lol:
Click to expand...

Please, somebody write this into a movie. It will be one of the funniest scenes, ever. Preferably with Jim Carrey in it.
 

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