The Funny Screenshot Thread

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You may have to think long and hard about this one.

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gum
 
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2 and 3.

Aggregates are a valuable commodity, so 2 could be turned into a steady income for life.

3 could also be an immensely valuable skill, esp. if you were the only person on Earth able to do it.
 
2 and 3.

Aggregates are a valuable commodity, so 2 could be turned into a steady income for life.

3 could also be an immensely valuable skill, esp. if you were the only person on Earth able to do it.
Agreed.

2 just sounds like the best way to become a gravel magnate. Need to reclaim some land? Have an infinite supply of costless gravel. Supply might outstrip demand eventually, driving down the price, so you just keep going until it isn't worth your time.

3 doesn't specify some important parts, so can be interpreted however I want. What's the reset time for the teleports? Can I just spam this teleport and move away in 7in intervals? How much energy and effort js required? If it's all infinitesimal, then you could just spam teleport long distances. Do I need a surface to land on, or could I theoretically keep going up? Is momentum conserved during teleportation like Portals? If not, it could be used to save from falls etc. Again, depending on how these can be abused, there's a lot of profit from this. How much can I carry when teleporting? 7in should be able to get you through most locked doors or walls too. Tom Scott has a good video on how teleportation can be used properly.
 
Containing air at a similar pressure and composition to the outside of the container.

Containing only air? I'd imagine most shipping containers for example have at least some air in them, does this mean we can see inside?

You could use this power to see inside someone's lungs for example, or stomach, sinuses, possibly even intestines, or at least portions of intestines. Could be useful for medical diagnosis. It also allows you to identify whether a container is empty or non-empty, which could be useful for security purposes. A house is also potentially an empty container by this definition. Could enable you to see through doors, walls, etc.

I dunno, this one might be more useful than gravel. Teleport is obviously best.
 
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Containing only air? I'd imagine most shipping containers for example have at least some air in them, does this mean we can see inside?

You could use this power to see inside someone's lungs for example, or stomach, sinuses, possibly even intestines, or at least portions of intestines. Could be useful for medical diagnosis. It also allows you to identify whether a container is empty or non-empty, which could be useful for security purposes. A house is also potentially an empty container by this definition. Could enable you to see through doors, walls, etc.

I dunno, this one might be more useful than gravel. Teleport is obviously best.
Where the instruction is vague, feel free to interpret it as you will.
 
You could combine 1 and 2 to recreate the oyster manipulation scheme of the Walrus and the Carpenter from Alice in Wonderland.

8 would be extremely valuable if you were an archaeologist. Combine that with 7.

The usefulness of 5 depends on the design and capabilities of the toaster. You could engineer weaponized toasters to use this with. If 3 enables you to endlessly spam 7 inch teleportations, you could become a super soldier of sorts, instantly frying soliders with your toasters. The power issue could be solved by having battery powered toasters. You can also distract soldiers that have conventional toasters.

Or troll people by making their toasters refuse to work. You could even become the God Emperor of Toasters; if someone needs to use a toaster, they require you to operate it. Alternatively, you could prevent all of the world's toasters from working to sell alternative methods of cooking to them. I think 5 is pretty powerful honestly.
 
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They made a whole TV show which was similar to number three. The guy could only move other stuff though which is far more useful.
 
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I wonder if #6 enables you to effectively heal any injury. If you can perform it once every 10 hours, it prevents aging.
 
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I wonder if #6 enables you to effectively heal any injury. If you can perform it once every 10 hours, it prevents aging.
Sounds like you'd need a crapload of pills.
 
Sounds like you'd need a crapload of pills.

Does the pill grant you the power, or does it trigger that effect one time? If it's one time, I think I'm picking 2 teleport pills (hmmm, or maybe 2 healing to 10 hours ago pills).
 
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Does the pill grant you the power, or does it trigger that effect one time? If it's one time, I think I'm picking 2 teleport pills (hmmm, or maybe 2 healing to 10 hours ago pills).
It doesn't say "look ten hours younger any time you wanna".

Exact words can be a real bitch with genies. The wizard in Charles Soule's Curse Words comic was asked for a wish by someone who wanted to be 30. So he turned him into thirty old people.
 
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