The ten commandments of cell phone ettiquette

[Pupik]

I've violated #4, but only at work. I have to carry 2 work phones (one VoIP, one Nextel walkie-talkie), so the personal phone gets clipped on the belt next to those two.

If there were a rule that needed to be added, it's this:

People who have a loud and/or annoying ringtone in public, and they allow the phone continue to ring without any attempt to silence it. These people are evil attention-whores.

 

[Duke]

How many have you violated?

1. Thou shalt not subject defenseless others to cell phone conversations. People around you should have the option of not listening. If they don't, you shouldn't be babbling.

This drives me berserk. My wife and I go grocery shopping together, and we use that hour to talk about all manner of things as we shop. Every other person there is wandering around with a phone pasted to his or her head, having exactly that same conversation, though of course, since they are on a phone and not together, they are totally incapable of concentrating on either task. So they neither get the little 'together time', nor efficiently get their grocery shopping done - and they get in our way too. Thanks to #7, we get to share in all the minutae of their lives, from what their kid's Ritalin dosage is to what brand of tampons their wife uses.

2. Thou shalt not set thy ringer to play La Cucaracha every time thy phone rings.

3. Thou shalt turn thy cell phone off during public performances.

Two words: manner mode. My phone is permanently set to vibrate only. And you want to know the honest truth? I miss far fewer calls than I ever did when it was on ring only.

4. Thou shalt not wear more than two wireless devices on thy belt.

I feel like a big enough dork with one phone on my belt, but with a handheld, my pocket knife, a wallet, and a large set of car keys/remnotes, I'm out of pockets.

5. Thou shalt not dial while driving. In all seriousness, this madness has to stop. There are enough people in the world who have problems mastering vehicles and phones individually.

Guilty, on occasion. If I must dial out, I do it at a red light. I don't even like to talk while driving, even if I'm only taking an incoming call. It's like having 2 beers - you know you're impaired a little, so you try to be extra vigilant when driving... but it doesn't always work, does it?

6. Thou shalt not wear thy earpiece when thou art not on thy phone. This is not unlike being on the phone and carrying on another conversation with someone who is physically in your presence. No one knows if you are here or there. Very disturbing.

In addition to making you look like Lando Calrissian's sidekick from Cloud City, this is really annoying to others. Nothing I ahte worse than approaching someone (often in the supermarket) and having them initiate some bizarre conversation, seemingly with me, out of thin air.

7. Thou shalt not speak louder on thy cell phone than thou would on any other phone.

Guilty, though I don't really know why. It's just an unconcious thing - I do it on land lines, too, unless I am careful not to.

8. Thou shalt not grow too attached to thy cell phone. For obvious reasons, a dependency on constant communication is not healthy. At work, go nuts. At home, give it a rest.

Some people just spend a perverse amount of time on the telephone. The four of us share about 500 minutes a month, and we rarely use even 100 of those, yet I know people who use 1000 minutes all by themselves, on personal stuff! I can't imagine needing to talk to anybody that I'm not sleeping with every night that much. And we even use our cells for long distance because it's free.

Oh, I nearly forgot – today I walked into the restroom at the store I work at, and some guy was sitting on the crapper and talking on his cell phone (loudly, I might add). I wonder what the guy on the other side thought when he heard me flushing?

I make a point of doing that when I see some idiot on the phone in the bathroom. I also take an inordinately long time washing my hands. One time, there was some power suit yackov standing at the urinal chatting when I walked in, so I went into the stall and pretended to be loudly and violently sick into the toilet. He left in a hurry.

 

[TwinTurboJay]

I dial while driving, but I don't look at the phone, ( just know where the buttons are without looking )

What ticks me off MOST is people in stores, ESP grocerey stores, in line, there is no where to go, also, paying for their stuff, wilst talking, obviously taking longer and fumbling with purse / wallet due the constant re-arranging of the phone.

 

[Danoff]

How many have you violated?

1. Thou shalt not subject defenseless others to cell phone conversations. When people cannot escape the banality of your conversation, such as on the bus, in a cab, on a grounded airplane, or at the dinner table, you should spare them. People around you should have the option of not listening. If they don't, you shouldn't be babbling.

I don't do this. My conversations are for me alone. But it doesn't usually bother me that much when other people do it.

2. Thou shalt not set thy ringer to play La Cucaracha every time thy phone rings. Or Beethoven's Fifth, or the Bee Gees, or any other annoying melody. Is it not enough that phones go off every other second? Now we have to listen to synthesized nonsense?

I think the ring tone is something that needs to be selected carefully. People generally don't put enough thought into it.

3. Thou shalt turn thy cell phone off during public performances. I'm not even sure this one needs to be said, but given the repeated violations of this heretofore unwritten law, I felt compelled to include it.

Duh.

4. Thou shalt not wear more than two wireless devices on thy belt. This hasn't become a big problem yet. But with plenty of techno-jockeys sporting pagers and phones, Batman-esque utility belts are sure to follow. Let's nip this one in the bud.

I think we've already gone overboard just wearing the cell phones on the belt. I keep mine in my pocket, it's easier to feel it vibrate that way.

5. Thou shalt not dial while driving. In all seriousness, this madness has to stop. There are enough people in the world who have problems mastering vehicles and phones individually. Put them together and we have a serious health hazard on our hands.

I talk/dial while driving and can manage. But mostly I've been using my bluetooth headset recently (helps out when you have a stick shift), and that works great. I only have to look down for a split second to use the 1-button dial.

6. Thou shalt not wear thy earpiece when thou art not on thy phone. This is not unlike being on the phone and carrying on another conversation with someone who is physically in your presence. No one knows if you are here or there. Very disturbing.

Guilty. I use my earpiece all the time in the car, and keep it handy at home. I like being able to wash dishes, do laundry, open the mail, etc while on the phone. I don't typically walk around in public with my earpiece on, but then again, I don't typically talk on the phone much when I'm walking around in public. If I did, I'd bring the earpiece.

7. Thou shalt not speak louder on thy cell phone than thou would on any other phone. These things have incredibly sensitive microphones, and it's gotten to the point where I can tell if someone is calling me from a cell because of the way they are talking, not how it sounds. If your signal cuts out, speaking louder won't help, unless the person is actually within earshot.

Big pet peeve of mine. Cell phones have great reception these days, but people are still stuck in the old habbit.

8. Thou shalt not grow too attached to thy cell phone. For obvious reasons, a dependency on constant communication is not healthy. At work, go nuts. At home, give it a rest.

Guilty. I love my phone.

9. Thou shalt not attempt to impress with thy cell phone. Not only is using a cell phone no longer impressive in any way (unless it's one of those really cool new phones with the space age design), when it is used for that reason, said user can be immediately identified as a neophyte and a poseur.

Guilty. I have used my phone to impress/demo it to other people. I'm sorry, I just love my phone.

10. Thou shalt not slam thy cell phone down on a restaurant table just in case it rings. This is not the Old West, and you are not a gunslinger sitting down to a game of poker in the saloon. Could you please be a little less conspicuous? If it rings, you'll hear it just as well if it's in your coat pocket or clipped on your belt.

Never done it or seen it.


4 violations.

 

[Race Idiot]

I'm probably guilty of showing off with my phone, I remember when I figured out how to get it to play DivX videos on it I think I ended up showing my friends which was pretty lame.

Although my Ringtone is At The Gates - Cold, so I always get wierd looks when my phone rings

I can think of another one or two:

a) Thou shalt not let thy phone ring solely for the purpose of listening to your ringtone, even in the (misguided) hope that someone else in the room/bus/train may be enjoying it as much as you are. Thou must answer thy phone swiftly otherwise thy phone may find a new home in thy rectum.

And related to the above...

b) Thou shalt not keep thy mobile phone in a bag so full of other junk you cannot access your phone easily or even find the thing!. This has the double-whammy effect of annoying everyone with your ringtone AND your inability to locate a object that is not only making a loud noise, but is also lit up and vibrating.

Listening to your ringtone in public is what all the cool kids do, you've got to walk allong the street with your mobile in hand tinnily blaring out G-Units latest awesome song that surely everyone wants to hear!

Also every time I go to see my mum she is guilty of leaving her mobile phone in a bag full of crap. The offshoot of this is that it takes about 5 minutes to realise that her phone is ringing and then another 5 to actually answer it.

Also I had the opportunity to ride passenger with someone who was actually texting and driving at the same time. Granted it was an automatic, but still god it was dangerous as hell, I was pretty much ready to grab the steeringwheel for most of the journey.

 

[Kylehnat]

3. Thou shalt turn thy cell phone off during public performances.

In addition, thou shalt not pretend that the offending phone is not theirs. Students are the #1 offender of this. A phone goes off in class, the person flinches, and then looks around nervously, but makes no action, despite the fact that everyone can tell that the annoying sound is coming from underneath their chair. This can be gotten away with once, as the phone will stop ringing after 4 or 5 rings. However, given the nature of high school/college students, after being punted to voicemail, the caller will hang up and dial again. If the owner of the phone decides to ignore the second salvo of rings, it's time for five-fingered justice to be administered.

If it's your phone going off, be a man (or woman) and own up to it. Nobody likes a weasely coward.

 

[GilesGuthrie]

How many have you violated?

1. Thou shalt not subject defenseless others to cell phone conversations.

I try to be as discreet as possible, so I will claim no foul here.

2. Thou shalt not set thy ringer to play La Cucaracha every time thy phone rings. Or Beethoven's Fifth, or the Bee Gees, or any other annoying melody. Is it not enough that phones go off every other second? Now we have to listen to synthesized nonsense?

I have a great ring tone. It starts quiet, and then gets (after about three rings) much louder. Usually I'll get the call before the loud bit. Therefore I claim no foul.

3. Thou shalt turn thy cell phone off during public performances.

Since becoming a father, and thus leaving my child at home with the babysitter, I've taken to keeping the phone on silent all the time. If it rings, I can discretely look at the incoming caller ID, and decide whether it requires attention. If so, I can discreetly excuse myself to a private space and call back. No foul.

4. Thou shalt not wear more than two wireless devices on thy belt.

I find the wearing of wireless devices on the belt to be exceptionally tragic (sorry, no offence meant). Therefore my current score is 0 devices. No foul.

5. Thou shalt not dial while driving. In all seriousness, this madness has to stop. There are enough people in the world who have problems mastering vehicles and phones individually. Put them together and we have a serious health hazard on our hands.

I do this extremely rarely. However, I have done it, therefore will claim foul.

6. Thou shalt not wear thy earpiece when thou art not on thy phone. This is not unlike being on the phone and carrying on another conversation with someone who is physically in your presence. No one knows if you are here or there. Very disturbing.

I used to wear a Bluetooth headset whilst driving, whether on the phone or not. Does this count as a foul? I feel no. I've certainly never done it whilst not in the car. I have often used my headset indoors. I'm often working in server rooms which typically have very poor signal. You can therefore place the phone in the best signal area in the room, and roam around, but I always take it off between calls. I therefore claim no foul.

7. Thou shalt not speak louder on thy cell phone than thou would on any other phone. These things have incredibly sensitive microphones, and it's gotten to the point where I can tell if someone is calling me from a cell because of the way they are talking, not how it sounds. If your signal cuts out, speaking louder won't help, unless the person is actually within earshot.

This is an extension of #1, isn't it? I usually speak quite loudly anyway, so no increment required on the phone. No foul.

8. Thou shalt not grow too attached to thy cell phone. For obvious reasons, a dependency on constant communication is not healthy. At work, go nuts. At home, give it a rest.

No foul. I've gone entire weekends with my phone on silent, and not cared. My father cannot be without his phone ever. I mean it. EvAr! No foul for me.

9. Thou shalt not attempt to impress with thy cell phone.

I used to do this, as I used to have the best phone that was available. Then when phones started suffering from feature bloat I stopped caring about what I had as long as it was a good telephone. I'll claim a foul for my past misdemeanours.

10. Thou shalt not slam thy cell phone down on a restaurant table just in case it rings. This is not the Old West, and you are not a gunslinger sitting down to a game of poker in the saloon. Could you please be a little less conspicuous? If it rings, you'll hear it just as well if it's in your coat pocket or clipped on your belt.

I disagree with this. Several times I've taken my phone out of my pocket only to see the "No Signal" be replaced with 20 - 30% signal strength. So I tend to leave it on the table where it can pick up signal. Only in pubs though. In restaurants, I tend to observe #3. More often I leave it in my breast pocket though, and I'm certainly not ostentatious about putting the phone down. I claim no foul.

I'm on 2.

 

[Silverzone]

About 4 for me. I Use the cell when i drive some times, Every time my phone rings, it has Blink 182's Dammit going off. Cool to me, Annoying to others. I put my cell on the table at resturaunts, and I have talked louder when i break up mainly cause i get irritated at the "What? can you repeat that?" etc. but most of my freinds do the whole "impress with the cell phone" thing. Always getting fancy Real tones, backgrounds, and they got cameras, videos, mp3 players, blah, i use my cell for 3 things: Talking, Text messaging, and Address book. and its a pretty ghetto phone too so im no where near impressing anyone lol.

I can think of another one or two:

a) Thou shalt not let thy phone ring solely for the purpose of listening to your ringtone, even in the (misguided) hope that someone else in the room/bus/train may be enjoying it as much as you are. Thou must answer thy phone swiftly otherwise thy phone may find a new home in thy rectum.

Good one, My freinds do this all the time. I hate it. They always have some sort of annoying rap song, or stupid voice quotes. I think that also counts as trying to impress.

 

[boombexus]

How many have you violated?

I avoid #1 like the plague. If I recieve a call when around others I will usually ignore the call. If the call is important enough, I will excuse myself to a more private area to take the call.

#2: A phone should sound exactly like that. A phone.


#3: I always make sure that my phone is off or on silent when I'm attending a public performance such as at the movies or restauraunt. As well as durning business meetings.

#5: I'm guilty of this.

#7: I don't talk louder when on the phone, but for some odd reason I can't sit still and talk. I pace about relentlesly when on the phone.

I guess I'm guilty of only one violation. That's nice.

 

[GT4_Rule]

None, I have no cellphone

 

[Sage]

One time, there was some power suit yackov standing at the urinal chatting when I walked in, so I went into the stall and pretended to be loudly and violently sick into the toilet. He left in a hurry.

I was considering doing something rude, but his shoes and pants were of the kind we’re required to wear, so I didn’t want to do anything in case it turned out to be a manager.

I hate it when people listen to their ringtones for the sake of it. There was this girl in my art class who’d do that almost everyday (the class was too loud for the teacher to notice), and I so wanted to snatch it and show her how to disassemble a phone by vigorously stomping on it.