Mr Deap
(Banned)
- 1,960
Read the thread, you will understand.
http://forums.xbox.com/6344761/ShowPost.aspx
In big, it can be very gross. There's every kind of people on XBOX Live... >_>
http://forums.xbox.com/6344761/ShowPost.aspx
In big, it can be very gross. There's every kind of people on XBOX Live... >_>
GC06: Major Nelson Alludes To Exciting Masturbatory Functions of Vision Cam!
Major Nelson pictured above or maybe to the right limboing and insanely waving while screaming into a Mr. Microphone dropped an exciting, electrifying, arousing, possibly titillating feature of the Xbox Live Vision Camera whilst demonstrating it at Microsoft's GC06 Tiki Tent: remote-controlled genital stimulation.
"When you press the trigger button, it makes the controller of the person you're talking to vibrate," said Nelson. "So two people... well, I'll let you fill in the blanks!"
I did. I became intrigued. I raised my hand to ask him if he'd ever tried this vibrating feature with anyone, and if so, with whom? Major Nelson pretended not to see my raised hand. Then I remembered that this was "journalism", and I wasn't asking Major Nelson for permission to evacuate my bladder. Sheepishly, I put my hand down.
He then handed over the Live headset to the crowd so they could try out the camera and talk to some random but dollsome Microsoft employee, code-named E. I immediately saw my opportunity.
Before I continue, I would really like to stress the fact that it is not that I am, in fact, a pervert. Rather, I'm a journalist. My job is to leap at the slimmest opportunities for a hot, sexy "scoop". This is what my journalistic ethics, my journalistic morals, my entire journalistic code of journalism demands!
So stealing the headset from some fan boys, I spent a requisite thirty seconds exchanging mundane pleasantries with E before demanding that she help me demonstrate this new feature.
"Hey, yeah, nice dog. No, I don't care about that Xbox magnet. What's the weather like there? Okay... uh huh. Yeah, look, I don't care. Let's just get down to the vibrating, shall we?"
This, gentlemen, is called seduction. But E was having none of it. And, needless to say, I am no longer welcome at any Microsoft parties. But Eliza and I will be testing this feature soon... and when we do, expect a full review! Florian Eckhardt
EDIT: Apparently, E's a dude. So I guess I wasn't talking to E, but one of his house guests. So who was she? Is she also a Microsoft employee? And will my entire body ever stop going sick with passion when I think of her adorable giggle and puritan moral values, demanding to be corrupted via 360 proxy?
