What Should I Do?

[Crispy]

Well GTPlanet, I have a little bit of a problem here. See, I had this friend that is a bit of a creeper. I will just label him as Bob. (Not real name of course) My friend, were calling him Joe, says it's a possibility that he tries to be funny like some of my friends and I. The only problem he has, is he's not always funny. His jokes always come out to serious, which is bad news when he makes perverted jokes. He realized this around the beginning of last year, which would normally make someone stop. This unfortunately made him worse, instead of sounding like he was serious, he became serious, and I didn't realize this until too late. Many frequenters of the past thread "What Grinds Your Gears?" would know I have a girlfriend. Now my normal friends acted normally. Of course they made the occasional joke hear and there, but nothing as bad as "Bob". See, Bob and my girlfriend go to the same church together, she found this out about a week ago. Him being my friend, I didn't think anything of it. Last week he they had to go on a "Church Camping Trip", on the Friday of the trip he kept saying how he would get to "Spend a weekend with my girlfriend", and how they would "Get Crazy". Of course neither "Joe" or I thought anything of it because well, we thought he was just kidding. Still, I told him not to do anything stupid. Well, it turns out that it's just a girls camping trip and that the guys went the previous week. Now the church is holding a fish fry where they give fish out to people who can't pay for food. Unfortunately, that's not a girls or boys only event. Still, friends aren't supposed to do that, so I wasn't worried. Yesterday, (The day of the Fry) "Bob" said how he gets to spend "3 hours, enough to sneak off and do what I gotta do". I glared at him but said nothing. This next thing he said was very surprising. He said "I don't approve of your relationship" and "I have to admit my undying love for your girlfriend!" The thing is, he never knew her until just a few months ago when we started dating, so I never stole her from him. Here's where my problem is.

Here's what happened at the Fish Fry. I had my girlfriend there, my friend Polo (Again, not his real name) and Bob. Apparently Bob was being real nice, and funny, talking about his dogs and all that. When Polo showed up, things got bad. He started acting like a creeper, no, he started acting like a sex offender. What he did was pretty bad. First of all, he kept flirting with my girlfriend all the sudden, then he started hugging her out of nowhere, and touching and feeling her butt when she wasn't paying attention. Then came something that really bothers me, and her. He started laying on the ground while she stood next to him, then he started snaking his hand up her pants, getting to her knee. She jumped before he could go further. This caused her to nearly break down and cry remembering it yesterday while we were on Skype, and she gets really disturbed when looking at her leg. He also was talking about how he would tie her down with duct tape, and even hit her and started laughing. After all that he said don't tell Crispy this.

So GTP, what should I do? I confronted him one on one about this and he just laughed like it was funny he emotionally scarred someone for life. I feel like the next time I see him I'll punch him so hard in knocks a couple teeth loose and breaks a few bones. But what do you think GTP? Should I do something, or should I just let it go?

 

[MarinaDiamandis]

Your girlfriend needs to tell "Le Freak" to quit touching her up or she'll report him to the police. Don't hit him, he may get you done for it.

If your girlfriend can't bring herself to tell him, then you need to tell him, calmly but firmly, to back off. If he doesn't quit it, go to the police.

EDIT - Oh, and more paragraphs, please!

 

[W3H5]

I'm not saying violence is the answer, but if it was me, I'd give him a slap to put him in his place after my girlfriend had told him what's what.

A person action like that is clearly showing a lack of respect for you and your girlfriend and doesn't deserve your friendship.

You could tell him to ease off the perv stuff and then give him a kick in the nuts when hie gets out of line. Alternatively you could distance yourself from him and not be friends.

It's your call at the end of the day.

 

[terminator363]

The guy sounds pretty messed up/needs help.

Honestly talk to your girlfriend about it, (rather seriously) and tell her what he (creepy friend) told you. Don't leave anything out as she is involved. Personally I think that's the best approach. Tell her to defend herself and make up some plan of what to do if it happens again.

 

[lemansfanatic]

Tell him "you betrayed my friendship, and a man law." then ask him "because you are a friend, i will even give you an option to save your reputation, so do you want to see it coming, or close your eyes?" 9 times out of ten thats all it takes, someone will tell you not to do it, and stop it before anything happens
but if they dont, you have to be prepared to throw a punch. its in the man codebook somewhere that if you steal you friends girl or try to and get caught, he gets a free lick on you. tell him if he wants to still be your friend he's got to man up and take your best shot. if he wont, find a friend thats a real man, cuz at least a real man would have your back in a fight and not run.
Plus, women want men to fight for them, this new generation of kids dont fight anymore, they post facebook statuses. choose your girl, or your friend, sounds like you cant have both.
Dont puss out though, women dont like men who wont fight for them, even the ones who like sensitive men, only want sensitivity in the relationship.

 

[W3H5]

man codebook

You what? Why have I never seen a copy of this? I have Drinking Like a Boss, The Ultimate Guide to Trolling and 16 Ways to Outwit Forum Members in my collection but have never heard of this Man Code Book. Perhaps I'm too immature?

 

[Joey D]

High school drama problems.

First don't hang around people like that, chances are the people in his life, like his parents, are probably creepers too. You aren't just instantly a creeper, you get it from somewhere. Also talk to whoever leads the church group, if they are the least bit Christian they will talk to the kid and let him know it's against gods will or whatever they tell people.

If the kid is seeking attention so don't give it to him, he'll eventually get bored and go away. However, I would tell your girlfriend (is that what they are when you're 14?) to put him in his place the next time he tries that, she needs to learn that it's not OK for guys to be like that. Just have her kick him in junk or slap him as hard as she can, if she's in a larger group of people ridicule of the kid works pretty well too. Have he yell out something pertaining to his acts, the kid will be labelled a creeper by everyone in that group. Your girlfriend will get a confidence boost too knowing she doesn't have to just take crap like that. It's mean yes, but trust me he'll think twice before trying that on anyone again.

If all else fails do the manly think and introduce your first to his face. Be prepared to face the consequences though.

You what? Why have I never seen a copy of this? I have Drinking Like a Boss, The Ultimate Guide to Trolling and 16 Ways to Outwit Forum Members in my collection but have never heard of this Man Code Book. Perhaps I'm too immature?

I think the Chinese government censors that book.

 

[W3H5]

I think the Chinese government censors that book.

Ah, that could be it.

 

[Matthew77258]

Wow, "bob" has some problems. If I were you I would tell him to back off and dont speak to you or your Girlfriend. You should also talk to your and your Girlfriend's parents ( in case anything else happens)
If after that he still continues than tell the police or something like that
You don't really want to resort to violence

 

[dhandeh]

Sexual assault, get the Police involved. If you get involved (punch his ****ing lights out), you will end up in trouble and this 'Bob' and will get away with it.

 

[yusername]

WWJJS - What would Judge Judy say? Probably something along the lines of this:

Using violence would only be to your disservice. That man law crap is written by quasi-misogynist meatheads. Warn this person in no uncertain terms that if he doesn't give it a rest, he'll be out of friends and on the sharp end of the law's ire. And to seek professional help.

 

[Crispy]

I'm most likely going to end up talking to him man to man, if he acts like it was funny, well then things might get out of control. Also me and my girlfriend have talked about it a bit, and she doesn't want me to fight in case I get hurt.

EDIT: If we did get into a fight, I don't know who would come out un-hurt. We got into a fight in Kindergarten that involved half the grade in the end (I know right, I'm such a cool kid! ) and right now were about the same height. I have about 30 Pounds on him and were both quite fit, yet I just got over the Flu. Then there's the fact I have much higher reflexes than him, as well as the ability (I guess?) to take a good deal of pain, so I don't know.

 

[Omnis]

Sexual assault, get the Police involved. If you get involved (punch his ****ing lights out), you will end up in trouble and this 'Bob' and will get away with it.

This. Your friend just sexually harassed your girlfriend at the very least. He sounds like he has a problem. This is not OK.

 

[Lizard]

Shotgun works every time.

I would of punched the guy in the face at the time he did it and told him I no longer want to know him.

 

[CMvan46]

I do wish these were the days when two guys could go outside, beat the living day lights out of each other and get on with it... But it's not and I wouldn't resort to fighting him, that is only bad for both you and him.

I'd have a word with him on my own and tell him what he is doing is sexual harassment and he needs to stop and you will go to the police if it continues any longer.

I agree with the suggestion to tell her parents. They should know about this especially if the church is taking one guy along with a group of girls... That shouldn't be happening.

 

[Guardian]

1. Get the police involved
2. Dis-own 'Bob' and don't associate yourself with his perverse brain again
3. THEN, you punch him for touching your girlfriend.
(Seriously, if someone touches up your girlfriend, you don't just let it pass )

 

[lemansfanatic]

Delete

 

[Joel]

Call the police. He sexually assaulted her, this isn't a fight on the playground type thing. The authorities need to get involved. If he gets away with this, there's no telling what he'll try in the future. Not necessarily to your girlfriend but to someone else down the line.

 

[HOODFIELD]

This story is really disturbing. I think it's now your responsibility to turn your friend into the authorities whether that be the police, a guidence counsler, or the pastor of the church that doesn't even matter, just get adults involved you should not try and handle this on your own. Clearly your friend needs some professional help as those actions would not even register in a normal persons brain.

 

[Korza]

1. Get the police involved
2. Dis-own 'Bob' and don't associate yourself with his perverse brain again
3. THEN, you punch him for touching your girlfriend.
(Seriously, if someone touches up your girlfriend, you don't just let it pass )

+1 👍

 

[terminator363]

+1 👍

 

[GasolineJunkie]

Your best bet would be to tell the authorities like mostly eveyone else is saying. Something similar happened to me. He wasn't my friend, but some creep kept feeling up my wife (girlfriend at the time) at a concert. I can barely remember even reacting. I beat his ass so bad, that I was the one in handcuffs. Then about 50 people that I didn't even know came to my defense and told the police what he had been doing. They let me go and charges were dropped for me, but he got jail time.

I feel that I was lucky. I still could have been charged with assault. If you can actually think rationally after this happened, then do just that. Planning to beat someone up is never good.

 

[NikoBellic]

I think she should report him to the police on a account of being possibly melested?

 

[Pupik]

I'm not saying violence is the answer, but if it was me, I'd give him a slap to put him in his place after my girlfriend had told him what's what.

A person action like that is clearly showing a lack of respect for you and your girlfriend and doesn't deserve your friendship.

You could tell him to ease off the perv stuff and then give him a kick in the nuts when hie gets out of line. Alternatively you could distance yourself from him and not be friends.

This. You don't disrespect your buddies' girlfriends...totally not cool unless she's a total bitch, even then, you just play cool.

I'd recommend reporting it, and if it comes to naught, warn him that next time he even winks out if line, you're going to kick his monkey ass like it ain't no fun. Just make sure you can make good on that promise.