I used to have many addictions, but recently have been forced to reorganize my thoughts and it has been a very difficult transition.
Before college, I was genius material and had no problem finishing a project minutes before any class and easily pull off a perfect score. I was always someone that everyone hated, and was not proud of myself in the social category. I easily walked into college with 16 credits without having to go to highschool most of my senior year. I had all the time in the world then, because nobody wanted to talk to me, besides to make a rude remark.
I used to have all types of hobbies and addictions, and here they are: scaled plastic models, R/C cars, Video games for 6 different systems, PC programming, Soccer, Snowboarding, Skateboarding, Basketball, Tennis, Pole Vaulting, Cars, Trucks, Racing, Mudding, Drifting, Driving, Grafitti, Hacking, Movie Making, Art, Digital Art, and much more....
I hit a point between junior and senior year of highschool where I didn't know if things were the best they could ever be. I tried smoking, began on cigars, but that didn't last more then a few months before I was sick of it. I never drank, because I want to hold out on that. I still seemed to be hitting a brick wall when I was to think of my future.
I started to think of the many ways to end my own life. I had lists upon lists of ways I could go out. It got to the point where I actually attempted a few of them and came close to that one last steo before the end. I had therapy for a while, maybe due to the 16 attempts. I don't really know what is out there for me, but I am working on that day by day.
I moved on from my suicide addiction with a more positive outlook on life. I decided that once I went to college, step one would be to make as many friends as humanly possible. If you were to ask any person in the dorm that I live in, they would probably say that they know me. Many of the people in the building like me, and the friendship continues throughout campus. Just the other day, I talked with my guidance counselor, and they said that there wasn't a way, in their mind, that I could have had no friends in highschool. Well, I guess that speaks for itself.
Now, that I have my friends, I can focus on things that really matter. I now am trying to make up for the loss in GPA, due to the lack of effort in the school department. I am also not able to work on my car or do most of the hobby stuff, so I am ok in that department.
I know just focus on a few addictions: video games, artwork, music, forum talking, and, oh yah, my fraternity, which just rocks! I am a Sigma Phi Epsilon and dam glad.
Well, I apologize if you hear my tale of woe and wonder my well-being, or maybe, your safety. I also apologize for the length of this post.
I learned many things since my debut in GTP. I learned that most of the people on this forum have a deep respect for others here. Though many choose to disregard the feelings they should show, by choosing faces of anger and dispute, they still know what it is they come here for: Information, Help, and maybe, just a little Friendship with people that have similar interests. At least that's why I came here.
I wish you all the best with your dreams and the best of luck with your addictions, whether it be to resolve them or be more involved with them.
Toyo
, Chips.
need to do work...
