Where Are All The Parents?

  • Thread starter Thread starter SRinc.
  • 78 comments
  • 3,455 views
GilesGuthrie
I know what you mean, and sympathise. But man, if we can't complain about our kids, we're going to be awful quite..
Click to expand...

LoL, right. Mine just grabbed my half eaten sandwich and dropped it, so much for snack time.
 
My wife and I have a 16 month old daughter called Noortje. She just loves carrying around the ps3 controller. Oh well I am working on GTpsp anyway now.
 
I have a son that will be 11 one week from today.

Who knew you could love something so much! 👍
 
GilesGuthrie
I know what you mean, and sympathise. But man, if we can't complain about our kids, we're going to be awful quiet! Mine were very nice this evening.
Click to expand...

Not saying you shouldn't complain about them at all. I'm sure kids can be quite trying. Just suggesting to be careful about it - because you just might be ruining someone's day and not have any idea.
 
me and my wife have a 5 month old little girl that is so damn adorable. her favorite thing to do is suck on anything that is put in her hands like my ps3 controller or the cell phone. or when were changing her diaper she wants to grab the dirty diaper and chew on that(disgusting) but we love her. it just feels like yesterday we brought her home from the hospital
 
I remember when my lil one was small enough I could hold her in one hand. She was a whooping 6 lbs 6 ozs upon arrival. Now she's one handful with enough baby sass talk you'd be shocked as well as impressed LoL.
 
I guess it’s time I invested in a pair of bifocals and joined this tread… wife and I are expecting our first in late December.
 
Was I the only one who's child due date jumped around like astronauts on Ritalin in space? It went from December 07, to March and February 2008, and then late January. Long story short January 17 2008, a star was born.
 
Syntax error
I guess it’s time I invested in a pair of bifocals and joined this tread… wife and I are expecting our first in late December.
Click to expand...
Congrats, Syntax! :cheers:

No bifocals required. Maybe some bright, cheery paint, but no bifocals.
 
Just out of curiosity for those of you with kids, especially multiple kids, how did it effect your financial situation, what do kids really cost?

My girlfriend and I were discussing it the other day, together we make a good income, close to 6-figures before tax, which we thought was pretty reasonable, but once we thought about it, we didn't think that we could have a kid and maintain close to the lifestyle that we have now, or even afford a child at all. I'd be interested to hear from people how they changed, or if they had to cut back when kids rolled on in?
 
According to a study done here in the states it costs on average $200,000 to raise a kid from 0-18, not sure if it is different else where. Although I'm not sure if that's fact or not as I don't have any kids.
 
Casio
Just out of curiosity for those of you with kids, especially multiple kids, how did it effect your financial situation, what do kids really cost?

My girlfriend and I were discussing it the other day, together we make a good income, close to 6-figures before tax, which we thought was pretty reasonable, but once we thought about it, we didn't think that we could have a kid and maintain close to the lifestyle that we have now, or even afford a child at all. I'd be interested to hear from people how they changed, or if they had to cut back when kids rolled on in?
Click to expand...

I can't put a direct price or ballpark figure to it as far as the 'cost of a child' goes. What I can say from my experience, a lot of things get cut back. You don't come first anymore and yes even your girlfriend gets put on the back burner. Everything turns into the baby and baby first. Your lifestyle will change drastically. But believe it or not the cutting back part isn't or for me wasn't that hard. What i would blow on rims for the car buys my daughter this that and the third. My money for H.I.D.'s, let's just say she won't or shouldn't need clothes till next spring. It's not so much cutting back as mush as i feel it is spending and using money more wisely. I'll be the one to admit it to you I am a VERY reckless spender. But I think the biggest thing people without kids need to realize, is a child is only a burden if you can't stand up or handle the task and responsibility. Once you can maintain your life with new baby and control the new finances things will be just fine. the first year I think is the most tedious and is when the most changes occur in your lifestyle and or habits. All the older parents can you agree or disagree with this part, as I am going onto my 2nd year as a parent. But I feel that 1st year is the most testing from what I saw and went through myself.
 
I have 2 boys
Vijay 4 and 8 months
Jarvis 2 and 6 months

My partner has 2 daughters 17 and 15 from previous marriage.
The 15 year old Isabel, lives with us and the elder girl, Amelia lives with her dad.
They both go to the same school, but Amelia is in year 12 so they will see less of each other soon, as she has only about 6 weeks of school left.


Congrats to Cohiba and to Syntax.

Casio don't let the financial side of life control your desires to have children, if we all did that you yourself may not even be here to ask this question.
It is, however a change of priorities that makes the difference in your life, not the fact that the child is soaking up all your spare cash.
Sure they cost a bit and it does make some decisions easy if you just can't afford to do it right there and then and some planning of things is required as opposed to spontaneity, but they really make you take a look at yourself and you find out, who you are and what your about.
 
zed300
Casio don't let the financial side of life control your desires to have children, if we all did that you yourself may not even be here to ask this question.
It is, however a change of priorities that makes the difference in your life, not the fact that the child is soaking up all your spare cash.
Sure they cost a bit and it does make some decisions easy if you just can't afford to do it right there and then and some planning of things is required as opposed to spontaneity, but they really make you take a look at yourself and you find out, who you are and what your about.
Click to expand...

Better way to word what I was getting at 👍!
 
Casio
Just out of curiosity for those of you with kids, especially multiple kids, how did it effect your financial situation, what do kids really cost?
Click to expand...
I'll echo what others have already said, but then I'll add in that while everyone hopes for perfectly healthy kids, that isn't always the case. Granted we have insurance, which I'm hoping you do as well, but let's just say for a second we didn't. In my circumstances with my sons CF, his vest was $18,000USD which is a drop in the bucket compared to the price of his meds (one of the meds he was on for a year and a half was $5,000 every other month :scared:) and doctor visits (4 trips to the CF center per year, 3 of which are strictly down and back in one day, runs between $1,000-2,000 per year and that's with insurance. I dread to think what that would run without, that and you likely aren't interested, anyway).

Note that the above is not intended as discouragement, only awareness. Hope for the best, plan for the worst. :)

It's almost midnight so I'm too tired to run "normal" child costs. I'll worry about that in the morning.
 
Casio
Just out of curiosity for those of you with kids, especially multiple kids, how did it effect your financial situation, what do kids really cost?

My girlfriend and I were discussing it the other day, together we make a good income, close to 6-figures before tax, which we thought was pretty reasonable, but once we thought about it, we didn't think that we could have a kid and maintain close to the lifestyle that we have now, or even afford a child at all. I'd be interested to hear from people how they changed, or if they had to cut back when kids rolled on in?
Click to expand...

Justin
According to a study done here in the states it costs on average $200,000 to raise a kid from 0-18, not sure if it is different else where. Although I'm not sure if that's fact or not as I don't have any kids.
Click to expand...


I read somewhere it was AU 250K in the first 8 years.
 
Casio's question is one that I also had before we had our daughter. We automatically cut back costs in lots of things. Grosseries, clothing, make-up (my wife), computer games and stuff (me :) .

Do I miss out on anything? Hell no, the smile of your child is worth more than anything.

We hope will be blessed with another child some day. It really is worth it.
 
Syntax error
I guess it’s time I invested in a pair of bifocals and joined this tread… wife and I are expecting our first in late December.
Click to expand...

Congratulations: Your kid will love having Christmas Break off for their birthday, as well. (At least for their first 18-21 years of their life).

I'm the proud father of a two-and-a-half year old daughter.

My only gripe with other parents is that no parent is willing to admit that thier kids might actually be normal or average: Everyone remarks about how flippin' smart and what a bright little genius their toddler is. For every one thing their child/toddler/baby can do that's slightly-ahead-of-the-curve of a milestone in a parenting magazine, there's probably another thing they haven't even grasped the concept of yet. If your kid still wears a diaper, has a pacifier in its mouth, or screams in public, I do not want to hear about how "smart" or "gifted" you kid is. Never did, never will.

Expenses are a factor, but if you know of friends and family who save baby stuff, the initial financial impact of a child is a greatly reduced burden. Most baby items are made of nearly-indestructible plastics that last and last, as long as they are kept clean. The expectant mother gets a few items for the baby shower, people give gifts to a newborn occasionally. If you have medical insurance, the hospital costs were not as bad (for us) as we thought they would be.

The baby is not as expensive as it sounds, although when she did require special formula mix to help out with her colic, it was tough on the wallet. There's also unexpected emergencies. Kids/Toddlers get a little more expensive; but again, we have grandparents that buy them more toys than we can even fit in our home, and occasionally we'll splurge because she's young. My sister has three kids, and went nuts on buying clothes; many of what we received still had the sales tags on them.

The biggest change is your free time. You can made smarter decisions to cut back on expenses, but its really hard to get spare time and time together as a couple, and that's the hardest part of being a parent.

In short, this is one area where family and friends are a tremendous help. I can't imagine people who are living on a shoestring suddenly having a kid, to be honest. Just a little bit of planning helps. But it does happen...parents rarely turn their backs on their own kids, especially if they too have kids.
 
Last edited:
*smirk* does dealing with the two worst kid eras (terrible twos and teenage), even for three months, count as a credit?
 
Yes, to echo what others have said, there really isn't a "right time" financially to have children, but their biggest cost is in time and energy. Do not ever have a child "to bring you closer together". Children test you, incessantly, and if you're weak as a couple, they'll have you at each other's throats.

In a lot of ways, the costs of children are offset by the costs of things you can't do any more because you have children. All the late night drinking sessions, the exotic holidays, the fast cars, tend to go by the wayside as you need your sleep, can't be bothered with the organisation and require a family wagon. Why buy a big new TV when it's just going to get hand prints on it? There's no point in the powerful (i.e. baby-waking) stereo/home cinema.

Mindful of Danoff's point, I will phrase this carefully. Children are more work than you could ever imagine. When they're not actively annoying you by talking through the race or spilling something (OMG, the constant spilling of drinks get on your nerves), or not doing the simplest of things, the universe conspires to punish you for making the effort by raining on your Sunday walk or closing all the swimming pools in town.

Everything you do will be branded as bad parenting by someone. (Seriously, our dentist said that feeding fruit to the children was wrong; a friend - prior to the Madeleine McCann story, criticised us for taking our child to a Greek bar rather than leaving her in the villa). All behavioural issues your children have are your fault, and even if they're not, some damn busybody will tell you that they are.

All such issues must be fixed by you making more effort. Even though it's as much as you can do to drag yourself out of bed, they need your constant supervision, support and encouragement.

The cost is not fiscal.

Is it worth it? Um. I suppose so. I think that with a newly-at-school, a discovering-his-independence, and a learning-about-her-cot-hence-up-7-times-a-night in the house, I'm in a pretty bad patch. When you come home from work and they're pleased to see you is pretty awesome. When their teacher tells you they're really good at something, you swell with pride even if your brain is saying "why can't they do that when they're at home". Your children laughing is one of the best things ever.

Make of that lot what you will.
 
I might as well jump in here as my wife and I are expecting our first any day now.

I'll also say that we are pretty confident that we have our financial situation in order and that we'll still be fine when we become a single income family for as long as it takes for the wife to decide if and when she's going to go back to work.

However, I'm mostly concerned with the cost of our time. I've become rather used to being able to come home from a long day and relax quietly and get lost in a video game, movie, book etc. That's always been my escape and stress reliever. Not to mention finding time to spend with my wife. Luckily, our parents live fairly close and are already eager to watch the kid, but I don't know when I'm going to be comfortable enough with leaving a newborn.

Either way, I'm sure I have a lot to learn yet and I know our world is about to turned upside-down but we're still looking forward to it. Seeing all the parents in this thread gives me hope! :D Besides, I still have at least 6 months to adjust before GT5 is out...

:cheers:
 
Last edited:
Speaking of kids, what happened to DN?
 
Omnis
Speaking of kids, what happened to DN?
Click to expand...
I sent him a message on the PS3 a while ago and he said he was busy with the kids all summer and didn't have a lot of free time to be here, and judging by his PS3 activity, there either. He mentioned possibly having a bit more free time once school ramped back up, but so far nothing...

Bueller? Bueller? Bueller? D-N? D-N? D-N?
 
Kids, kids, kids.

Boy... do I wish I had more than one... But just one more than one... y'know... to even things out. :lol:

dsc0891photoeditrz6.jpg

(so sue me... I color-corrected this on a bad monitor)

Me, wife, kid (when she was two... now she's turning four and the car is turning five).

-

I quite agree... there is no "right" time to have a kid. You just do it, and you learn along the way. The money will never be enough... but, hey... hardship builds character... I'd rather have a kid who's used to roughing it every once in a while and to whose wedding I can go to without the use of a wheelchair than waiting till I'm old and financially settled and having a brat whose only two lines are "car keys" and "allowance".

Though the brat part is something you can avoid if you're careful.
 

Latest Posts

Back