Why I fired my Secretary

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ledhed

ledhed

Ultraextreme sanity
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Why I Fired My Secretary...
> >>>
> >>> Last Week Was My Birthday And I Didn't Feel Very Well Waking Up That
> >>> Morning. I Went Downstairs For Breakfast Hoping My Wife Would Be
> >>> Pleasant And Say, "Happy Birthday!", And Possibly Have A Present For
> >>> Me.
> >>> As It Turned Out, She Barely Said Good Morning, Let Alone "Happy
> >>> Birthday."
> >>>
> >>> I Thought... Well, That's Marriage For You, But The Kids Will
> >>> Remember.
> >>> My Kids Came Into Breakfast And Didn't Say A Word.
> >>> So When I Left For The Office, I Was Feeling Pretty Low And Somewhat
> >>> Despondent.
> >>>
> >>> As I Walked Into My Office, My Secretary Jane Said, "Good Morning,
> >>> Boss, Happy Birthday!" It Felt A Little Better That At Least Someone
> >>> Had Remembered. I Worked Until one O'clock and Then Jane Knocked On My
> >>
> >>> Door And Said, "You Know, It's Such A Beautiful Day Outside, And It's
> >>> Your Birthday, Let's Go Out To Lunch, Just You And Me."
> >>>
> >>> I Said, "Thanks ! Jane, That's The Greatest Thing I've Heard All Day.
> >>> Let's Go!" We Went To Lunch. But We Didn't Go Where We Normally Would
> >>> Go. We Dined Instead At A Little Place With A Private Table. We Had
> >>> Two Martinis Each And I Enjoyed The Meal Tremendously
> >>>
> >>> On The Way Back To The Office, Jane Said, "You Know, It's Such A
> >>> Beautiful Day.. We Don't Need To Go Back To The Office, Do We?"
> >>>
> >>> I Responded, "I Guess Not. What Do You Have In Mind?"
> >>>
> >>> She Said, "Let's Go To My Apartment"
> >>>
> >>> After Arriving At Her Apartment Jane Turned To Me And Said, "Boss, If
> >>> You Don't Mind, I'm Going To Step Into The Bedroom For A Moment. I'll
> >>
> >>> Be Right Back."
> >>>
> >>> "Ok." I Nervously Replied.
> >>>
> >>> She Went Into The Bedroom And, After A Couple Of Minutes, She Came Out
> >>
> >>> Carrying A Huge Birthday Cake...
> >>> Followed By My Wife, Kids, And Dozens Of My Friends And Co-Workers,
> >>> All Singing "Happy Birthday".
> >>>
> >>> And I Just Sat There..
> >>>
> >>> On The Couch...
> >>>
> >>> Naked.
 
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH that's funny as hell! Now you have to fire the rest of the people because they'll make fun of you.
 
*Rains on parade*

ultrabeat
LAST WEEK WAS MY BIRTHDAY AND I DIDN'T FEEL VERY WELL WAKING UP THAT
MORNING.
I

WENT DOWNSTAIRS FOR BREAKFAST HOPING MY WIFE WOULD BE PLEASANT AND
SAY,
"HAPPY
BIRTHDAY!", AND POSSIBLY HAVE A PRESENT FOR ME.

AS IT TURNED OUT, SHE BARELY SAID GOOD MORNING, LET ALONE "HAPPY
BIRTHDAY."

I THOUGHT... WELL, THAT'S MARRIAGE FOR YOU, BUT THE KIDS WILL
REMEMBER. MY KIDS CAME INTO BREAKFAST AND DIDN'T SAY A WORD.

SO WHEN I LEFT FOR THE OFFICE, I WAS FEELING PRETTY LOW AND
SOMEWHAT
DESPONDENT.

AS I WALKED INTO MY OFFICE, MY SECRETARY, JANE SAID, "GOOD MORNING,

BOSS, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" IT FELT A LITTLE BETTER THAT AT LEAST
SOMEONE
HAD
REMEMBERED.

I WORKED UNTIL ONE O'CLOCK AND THEN JANE KNOCKED ON MY DOOR AND
SAID,
"YOU
KNOW, IT'S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY OUTSIDE, AND IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY,
LET'S
GO OUT
TO
LUNCH, JUST YOU AND ME."

I SAID, "THANKS JANE, THAT'S THE GREATEST THING I'VE HEARD ALL DAY.
LET'S GO!"

WE WENT TO LUNCH. BUT WE DIDN'T GO WHERE WE NORMALLY WOULD GO. WE
DINED
INSTEAD
AT A LITTLE PLACE WITH A PRIVATE TABLE. WE HAD TWO MARTINIS EACH
AND I
ENJOYED
THE MEAL TREMENDOUSLY.

ON THE WAY BACK TO THE OFFICE, JANE SAID, "YOU KNOW, IT'S SUCH A
BEAUTIFUL
DAY... WE DON'T NEED TO GO BACK TO THE OFFICE, DO WE?"
I RESPONDED, "I GUESS NOT. WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN MIND?"
SHE SAID, "LET'S GO TO MY APARTMENT."
AFTER ARRIVING AT HER APARTMENT JANE TURNED TO ME AND SAID, "BOSS,
IF YOU DON'T MIND, I'M GOING TO STEP INTO THE BEDROOM FOR A MOMENT.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK." "OK." I NERVOUSLY REPLIED.
SHE WENT INTO THE BEDROOM AND, AFTER A COUPLE OF MINUTES, SHE CAME
OUT CARRYING A HUGE BIRTHDAY CAKE... FOLLOWED BY MY WIFE, KIDS, AND

DOZENS OF MY FRIENDS AND CO-WORKERS, ALL SINGING "HAPPY BIRTHDAY".

AND I JUST SAT THERE...

ON THE COUCH...
NAKED.


Copied and pasted straight from an email I got.

I got rid of the arrows on the side, but I can't be bother sorting out the paragraphs.
Click to expand...
 
An extremely similar bit was used on Coupling when Jeff's girlfriend/boss takes him into the conference room after hours, excuses herself, and comes back with all his coworkers and even his parents to find him dancing naked...
:lol:
"Oh, Jeffrey..."
 

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