Answering a telemarketer.

[Famine]

Originally posted by GilesGuthrie
In our last property, I got someone to come round and give me an estimate for a conservatory. When he arrived, he said "But sir, this is a 3rd floor flat." To which I replied "Not only that, but it's a Grade 3 Listed Building as well. Now will you please tell your company to stop calling me?"

Class.

The stupidest one was a double-glazing woman.

"If you were to replace the windows in your house, how many would you replace?"
"We rent."
"Yes, but how many of them?"
"We rent."
"So, you wouldn't want to replace any?"
"WE RENT! Are you deaf as well as stupid?"
"*Click* brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr"


Generally, 'cos I live in sin, they ask for "Mrs. Evans" (she's not a Mrs, and she's not an Evans). I politely tell them she died 10 years ago (which isn't untrue... I just don't say WHICH Mrs. Evans it was) and they go away. Quickly.

 

[Curveball]

One time, I told a telemarketer, "Are you hitting on me? Because if you are, it's working." After that they repeatedly asked for my parents, but I was still telling him this stupid stuff and then hung up.

 

[LoudMusic]

I go back and forth. Currently I'm just hanging up on them.

HOWEVER! I had fun with a toner salesman one time.

He calls up, "I'm with So-n-So Toner distributer and I wanted to check on your toner needs".

So I shoot an ICQ message to a couple of my friends. The first one says, "Go ****ing nuts! Tell him you're going to kill everyone in your office with a SPOON!" Nope, can't do that, I'm just not the irate kind of guy. But the other friend says, "Ask for white toner."

Now, after I stopped laughing and caught my breath I regained composure and calmly asked the man on the phone if he could supply white toner. He was pretty well stumped and started asking a slew of rediculous questions. My favorite was right after I told him I didn't have any white toner and needed a supplier he asked me where I was currently getting it from. These people, they're not smart.

 

[HIGH ON LIFE]

Well what i like to do is to talk like an unedumukated hillbilly and say are u married (if its a chik) and they usualy hang up. or just say uhhhuhh and be like really that too and just ramble on like "Me Too!" or just tell them about your day. or pick up and say please leave a message after the beep ass*ole! beeeeeeeeeeeep

 

[HIGH ON LIFE]

And o ya if they ask me if im over 18 or if im over a certain age and i say yes they are like are your parents there and im like i dont know are they oh its so funny their reaction is the best part!

 

[Gil]

Generally, I don't answer "no name, no number" calls.
If I do, and it happens to be a telemarketer, I say something about the "no call" list, and ask for their number so I can report them.
In lieu of that I always tell them that I was:
a. working the nite before and they have a hell of a nerve waking me up.
b. we are eating and I have a policy never to buy any thing from someone rude enough to disturb my family dinner.
c. I tell them I'm not interested at this time, but ask for their 800 number (which I never write down). They leave happy, and my quiet evening resumes.
d. I yell across the room and ask my wife (whether she's home or not) if the "bankruptcy" (never have been bankrupt) has cleared off the credit report. Then that company doesn't call me again.
e. I say something in my "Deliverance" voice/accent. "Hun, are you as purdy as you sound? You sound purdier than a whole batch of speckled pups. Are you gettin off work soon? Mebbe, we kin do sumthin?" Makes the women hang up. Makes the men hang up faster.

 

[Small_Fryz]

i have yet to have fun with a tele marketer but i bet i will have some good games with them

 

[TurboSmoke]

my sister has a great trick....

she hands the phone over her 3 1/2 year old daughter who just loves to chat away to anyone on the phone.....they soon hang up.

 

[audiracing]

I waste there time for wasting mine.

 

[hondaracer88]

I think it's fun to mess with them every once in a while, as long as they don't pester me to death by calling over, and over, and over.