CCYoshi's Momentum-O-Meter Super-Shiny-Gold-GTPF1-10th-Anniversary Edition
Round 1, Melbourne
The new Momentum-o-meter is a completely subjective (read: biased) ranking of each of the drivers' chances of not sucking at any given point in the season; thus, the cheesy title. In addition I'll give a short description of each driver's ups and downs in the past race, peppered with witty, insulting comments.
9 On the Momentumtosity Scale: Charkaoui
*An utterly, completely dominant weekend for him and also perhaps for Aguri. He was inches away from pole, burst out to a 4 second lead in 2 laps, and led wire-to-wire to pick up an easy 10 points. And let's make this clear:
HE
IS
DRIVING
A
#@*$ing
AGURI!!
Perhaps the Aguri is not a crapmobile as much as it was last season, but it's not the most desirable ride. Or, at this rate, is it? Falls short of a 10 on the scale because this is only one race - times may change (Dear Jules: nerf plz)
8 on the Momentumosity Scale: Spyker (Smith and Kawasie)
If there's one thing that supposed to sucks more than Super Aguri, it's Spyker. Somehow, this duo has managed to turn a moving traffic cone into cold points, and the two combined for 10 total in Australia. Both drivers were strong throughout the weekend, and go into Sepang with a promising outlook.
7 and a half on the Momentumosity Scale: McLaren (Horton and Trendell)
Two ends of the spectrum come together and shine brilliantly in the first race of the season. McLaren is definitely a competitive car, whether in the hands of Mr. 2nd Place (Champion who?) or Mr. Wooden Spoon (in Season 9, anyway). Horton in particular had a worthy drive from the rear of the field to a strong 4th place finish.
7 and 25 one-hundreths on the Momentumosity Scale: Dubois
A very strong race, overcoming Honda's power deficit (the VTEC has yet to kick in, yo) and lack of sponsorship (+10 HP per decal, Honda's missing out!) and driving from the rear end of the field up to a good points finish.
7 on the Momentumosity Scale: Haswell
He did not win, as classically predicted, but did finish in the points, becoming one of many 'drove from the back of the pack up to solid points in a junk car' drivers in this race.
VI and a half on the Momentumosity Scale: Skywalker
Could have had more, as he gridded 5th, but a slightly messy race hampered his chance of scoring high. Still, guiding a wounded car to the final point is worth something.
6.25 on the Momentumosity Scale: Machiels
10th place; not an incredible finish but a promising drive for the Red Bull team.
Was up in the podium spots at points during the race but the curse of the mechanics strikes hard again, robbing Machiels of points.
6 on the Momentumosity Scale: Williams (Chang and Shepherd)
Quite a drab day for Williams, although nearly anything is better than last season for the team. Two different approaches led to about the same result: Chang started from the front, Shepherd fell to the back and the two met midfield, just out of the points. Not good, not bad.
A Fiver and Change on the Momentumosity Scale: Butler
An extremely promising drive for the Honda driver, but let down by amazingly ridiculous pit decisions by the Honda team. Someone didn't want him to win? Better luck next time.
Midway on the Momentumosity Scale: Davidson
The Aguri driver here is mainly marred by the astounding success of his teamamte. Davidson had a decent start but got into a mess, and never quite fully recovered, picking his way through the field but not quite quick enough.
4 1/2 on the Momentumosity Scale: Dunstan and Nikolakopoulos
An early collision in the race prevented both drivers from ever getting off the ground, figuratively at least, relegating the two to extremely mediocre finishes.
One Tenth of the Meaning of Everything on the Momentumosity Scale: Renault
An extremely dull race for the formerly championship-winning (and good-looking) team. Collisions marred Graham's race, but he still managed to outpace teammate Taylor who sat in the back doing a lot of nothing.
Fore! on the Momentumosity Scale: Rees
Never cracked the top ten, plus negative points for taking out a home race favorite. Not much else to report on for this race.
3.14159 26535 89793 23846 26433 83279 50288 41971 69399 37510 on the Momentumosity Scale: Hutchinson
Drove a decently quick race for Ferrari but efforts were hampered and rivalries formed when he turned to be the honorary Kamikaze Driver of the Race, racking up almost as many collisions as passes.
3 (Running out of puns) on the Momentumosity Scale: AlMomen, Mason , Beyens
Can you guess the link? All 3 retired in this race, and with the exception of Beyens none were running particularly well in the race. Even if the retirement wasn't the driver's fault, it's still disheartening to have to put a new car together for the next track. Better luck next time.
Kamikaze Driver of the Race: Hutchinson
Drive of the Race: Horton
Wooden Spoon of the Race: AlMomen
And now onward to the Pacific Ocean Grand Prix, where it has yet to rain...
)
. I hope that it will be a good race us:tup:
👍
