-McClarenDesign's-
Very Serious SLS AMG Review of the Car of the Week N Stuff
"The blessing is very important. The priest's presence gives us much more faith, a stronger belief in a safer race that transmits to a greater faith in the presence of God's helping hand."
-
Emerson Fittipaldi
Week 8: 1971 Nissan Fairlady 240ZG (HS30) and 1971 Nissan 240ZG (HS30)
A few days ago our producer called to inform me about this weeks car. Normally, I don't hear about what I'm driving until I show up at the office. It's a way for me to clear my head and cleanse the palate. Many other reviewers use this practice as a means of ensuring an honest critique of a car. Without it, sensations and memories often times get confused when it's time to convey them in print or on TV.
You can't ask a Top Gun fighter pilot to land an Airbus just after he's shot down Val Kilmer. You wouldn't put Buzz Aldrin in a Citroen 2CV upon returning from space.
Naturally, when I got the message that he'd called, I thought it a bit odd. Odder still, were the instructions to find a young priest and an old priest.
Oh
(expletive).
Icon. Some cars revolutionize the industry. Some revolutionize a particular market. Others still yearn for records at tracks they can't possibly pronounce. Icons, however, change everything. They change minds, philosophies, ideals... religions. Our icon is perhaps even a savior, providing a bright and shiny light in very dismal times, saving those who would only listen and believe.
So, if I'm to drive the automotive equivalent of Jesus Christ, what on Earth do I need two priests for?
Producer
It's the 1971 Nissan Fairlady 240Z.
......
The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you!
Everyone knows someone with a story about a Z car, and every one of those stories ends in one of two ways; death or taxes. During the gas crisis of the 70's, those in the know skipped the unreliable Britsh sports cars, saved a ton of money from the German exotics, and bought simple 240Zs. And nearly every one of those cars resulted in a fatality, or bankruptcy. If you still had your life, you'd find it wasn't worth anything once the local authorities received their due.
IF you could get home in one piece, your glovebox would be stuffed with reminders of the speed limit.
What you didn't spend in the shop would be spent at the local city hall. Buying more officers and more cars to keep up with you, and the other local hooligans in their Zs. And, despite all of this, you'd gladly do it everyday.
Producer
Oh, and this week, we're testing both of them.
Excuse me?
What?
According to Polyphony Digital via Translator-san:
Translator-san
The Nissan Fairlady Z was sold as the Nissan 300ZX outside Japan.
You know, this week we're doing the 240Z, right?
Translator-san
You put it in the script. And besides, this thing has more errors than Bill Buckner. My 2 year old has better grammar than what you've got written here.
Yes, but there's an asteri... you know what, nevermind, just continue.
Translator-san
Near the end of the 1960's, Japanese cars were starting to make a name for themselves in the international stage. One of the vanguards of this movement, was the Fairlady Z that debuted in 1969. Yutaka Katayama leading Nissan North America at the time convinced headquartes that "now was the time for a real sports car", and subsequently challenged European cars to a duel. The history of the Z began here.
One symbolic model of the Z is the 432. While other Z's were equipped with the type L engine, the 432 was given an S20, DOHC straigh-6 engine from the Prince R380. The "4" stands for 4 valves per cylinder, the "3" stands for 3 twin choke carburetors, and "2" stands for 2 camshafts. Its output was 158 HP, with a maximum torque 130.1 ft-lb.
This 432 also had a 432R racing spec model. Using a FRP hood for weight reduction, there were only 30 ever made.
But behind all this high performance was a lot of hard effort. The S20 was a sensitive engine, and it was said that the only ones who can make this engine really sing, were Nissan's own works mechanics at Oppama. That is why Nissan gradually shifted the position of the racing machine to the 240Z.
The U.S. spec 240Z, with its 2.4L type L engine was easy to work with, and its toughness and ability to push the car from any rpm range was its strong point. Once in racing sports, it performed well in safari races and international rallying such as in the Monte Carlo.
With this strong show of performance, the 240Z later began sales in Japan in 1971. Especially the 240ZG, known for its long "G nose" front end and bold over fenders became a huge hit, raising the name of the Z into a name brand in sportscars.
Good thing we've brought two priests. Only we didn't actually bring two priests. You see, Father Martin Bishop represents the Irish Catholic Church, while Nathan Papadopoulos is actually a Rabbi.
Well what do we know about religion? You don't hear about how much horsepower Noah's Ark made, do you? Then how can you imagine us being anything other than asleep at church? Perhaps if God gave Adam and Eve a Ferrari, we'd be in, but he didn't.
And we're not. And besides, it's too late now.
Emerson Fittipaldi once complained to his team that the car he was driving was "diabolical". Unsure of the exact meaning, the crew looked it up in the dicitonary, and promptly contacted a priest. The next morning, the priest performed an exorcism on the car, and each mechanic threw a spark plug into the sea.
The next race he won.
At the garage, we took delivery of our two Devils, and found them both wearing a blue dress. The Fairlady wrapped in an elegant Bay Side Blue, while the Datsun was sporting a Midnight Blue Pearl evening gown. The site of the two cars left our priests mesmerized. While they watched in secret lust, I went to have a word with the mechanic Nissan loaned us, a man by the name of
Kou-chan, who has a silly haircut.
First up, My Fair Lady.
Performance as Purchased: May 20, 2011, Bay Side Blue (M), (
Blue)
Displacement: 2,393 cc
Max. Power:
154 hp @ 5,500 rpm
Max. Torque:
157 ft-lbs. @ 5,000 rpm
Drivetrain: FR
Length: 4,305 mm Height: 1,285 mm Weight: 1010 kg
Tires: Comfort (Soft)
Performance Points:
383
Mileage: 35,618.3 mi.
And the Datsun.
Performance as Purchased: February 28, 2011, Midnight Blue Pearl (
Blue)
Displacement: 2,393 cc
Max. Power:
153 hp @ 5,500 rpm
Max. Torque:
156 ft-lbs. @ 5,000 rpm
Drivetrain: FR
Length: 4,305 mm Height: 1,285 mm Weight: 1010 kg
Tires: Comfort (Soft)
Performance Points:
382
Mileage: 48,634.3 mi.
With Kou-chan's men on the job, we were relieved to find that the Fairlady was in excellent condition, inside and out. We spent 16,500 Credits on the engine, and a mere 27,500 on the body. For 41k, we didn't earn any additional performance, but we did purchase piece of mind. If this car had been in any fatalities, it sure wasn't showing any signs of them.
The Datsun yeilded the same results, although still not matching the power of it's Japanese counterpart. Kou-chan owes that to the mileage, saying some scars simply can't be removed. We're inclined to agree with him.
Each week, we've handed our cars over to our guest drivers to establish baseline performance. Each week, we've also managed to scrap together the worst society has to offer, then give them a car and hope like hell they don't wreck it.
This week, however, would be different.
Instead, I'd be running the test data, and it'd be my job to make sure that the two priests become members of Japan's elite
Mid Night Club.
Sounds easy enough. Drive in a straight line, then convince someone to put two silly little clergymen into a silly little video game on something called an xBox. How hard can it be?
Producer
No, not Midnight club, Mid Night Club.
Whatever.
At the track, and it's once again, ladies first. With minimal tirespin, I'm able to rocket of a quarter-mile time of
0:16.233 and a 0-60 mph time of
0:07.751. For comparison, that's over a second slower than the DeLorean we tested last week, but the car is also 30 years older.
For those keeping score at home, other notable data includes: 0-1 mi.: 0:40.416, 0-100 mph: 0:20.529, Max G-Force: 0.52G, Top Speed: 138.7 mph
Out of the succubus, and into the Demon Datsun, I drop the hammer and give it the beans. This time around, the satanist returns a quarter time of
0:16.218 and a 0-60 of
0:07.742. Despite her age and battle scars, she's .015 faster in the quart-mile, and .009 faster to 60 mph. I know that doesn't sound like much, but remember, we've got to somehow get two men-of-whathaveyou up to 190 mph.
For those keeping score at home, other notable data includes: 0-1 mi.: 0:40.547, 0-100 mph: 0:20.627, Max G-Force: 0.52G, Top Speed: 138.5 mph
The HS30 was only available in Japan, but the Americans could get the "G-nose" installed as a factory option, and those were generally also referred to in the same manner. During our flat out run, the engine seemed to have more revs left in it, meaning our aerodynamics were limiting us. The "G-nose" has to remain, however, as it was Nissan's solution to high-speed front end lift. I don't think I need to mention
how bad that can be.
The "G" in the moniker stands for Grand, which is a great adjective for the challenge ahead.
I'm sure the young Rabbi won't have a problem committing the sin of breaking the speed limit. He's got Yom Kippur, and thusly only needs one day of atonement. Father Bishop.. is that right?... is another matter entirely. Aside from the fact that he's 97, he does have a race history. A rather long one at that. Provided he survives, how many Hail Marys would this require? And, at 97, could he survive that?
Kou-chan and his spanner-weilding samurais went to work, quickly modifying nearly everything they touched. We were, however, disappointed by a few "compromises." First, no forced induction. Having a turbo, or supercharger, means more cooling, which also means removing the G-nose. Secondly, no other forms of proper front downforce. The only aero we could get was one of those AutoZone APC Paul Walker wings, which would do more harm than good for the holiest of street cred. What kind of hell would we be sent to if we took away two holy men's front downforce,
AND remove any chance they have of turning down getting laid, by adding a Paul Walker wing?
For Kou-chan's hard work, we got an extra boost of
122 hp, slimmed down
152 kg, and salvaged
93 extra Performance Points.
You know, Performance Points. Kind of like Camel Cash, or Marlboro Miles...
For those that can't do math: Max. Power: 276- Fairlady, 275- Datsun, Weight: 858- both, Performance Points: 476- both
Finally, with Father in the Infernal Fairlady, and Rabbi Papadopoulos in the Demon Datsun, we sent them off on Japan's infamous
Shuto Expressway. We had a few of the "official locals", whom knew some people, to officially time and score the event. It would be their sole determination whether or not we'd made it.
Through the first sector speed traps, things were looking promising. It'd be close, but they may squeak by and nail 190 mph. The second sector was just as promising, but as time came for the third sector, we heard the locals whispering to eachother.
And it didn't look good.
Five minutes later we were greeted by loud sirens and rushing first responders. Something bad had happened, and along the same route as our drivers. Sure enough, minutes passed, with only the Fairlady setting a time. The Demon Datsun still hadn't crossed.
Worse still, our third sector trap time looked too bleak to break the magic 190. Having driven both cars during the initial top speed tests, it's easy to see how aerodynamics can hold a car back from its full potential. Had we removed the nose, and stuffed a turbocharger or four, we'd be in like Flynn.
As it is now, days later, we're still missing both cars. The Rabbi passed away in a massive crash just after the turnaround, but Father Bishop gave a wonderfully heart warming eulogy.
Once the Japanese authorities had released him.
And decided to keep the car.
Despite all of this, we've come away with a few lessons. We've discovered how beautifully wreckless Japanese exotic street racing can be. We've learned the answer to the forces of nature is more power, and a damn-it-all ability to take risks. We've also learned that pushing a car with such a short wheelbase may sometimes be hazardous, particularly over 170 mph.
We're still alive (well, this week), we've manage to put two beautiful, iconic sports cars through their paces, and I've done all this without receiving a single speeding ticket. Okay, the Father got a few, but I bet Jesus helps him pay those.
Still, all in all, I'd say it was a rather good day.
Week 1: 2001 Alfa Romeo Spider 3.0i V6 24V
Week 2: 1966 Alfa Romeo Spider 1600 Duetto
Week 3: 2000 Toyota Sprinter Trueno GT-APEX (S. Shigeno Ver.)
Week 4: 2007 Audi TT Coupe 3.2 Quattro
Week 5: 1983 Nissan Silvia 240RS (S110) and 1985 Nissan 240RS Rally Car
Week 6: 1973 BMW 2002 Turbo
Week 7: 2004 DMC DeLorean S2
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Ed. Note: RIP Rabbi Nathan Papadopoulos (182 Wins/3754 Races)
