Choosing your Destiny: WANT TO -VS- HAVE TO.

Why can't you play AC3? Were you grounded?

If you are playing the other games that must mean a certain amount of want, so you are probably enjoying it even though you are playing it only because you can't play AC3. But the want to play AC3 seems like such a simple wish - a wish so very easily fulfilled.

I suspect foulplay.
 
I WANT to watch the next season of MLP:FiM.

I HAVE to wait until December to do so. :grumpy:
 
I WANT to go offline and have fun IRL with my friends (who think I'm an oaf for ignoring them and hanging at GTP instead.)

I HAVE to stay online to respond to posts that need attention - or else those who have interacted with me here will think I'm a oaf for ignoring them and staying offline.

Choices, choices, choices.. . .
 
I want to smoke.
I have to stop.

So I got to the point where my want-to matched my have-to; I came to a full cold-turkey stop three days ago. Today is the morning of my fourth day without cigarettes.

It was a hard three days - but today isn't so bad. The cravings have subsided a lot, and I finally have got to the point where I don't want to smoke as much as I have to stop.

Hopefully I can break this habit permanently - or at least for the rest of my life. I want to. Now even more than I have to.
 
I want to have the best computer of all time.
I have to wait until I have an education, can get a job and then get the money.

I want to smoke.
I have to stop.

So I got to the point where my want-to matched my have-to; I came to a full cold-turkey stop three days ago. Today is the morning of my fourth day without cigarettes.

It was a hard three days - but today isn't so bad. The cravings have subsided a lot, and I finally have got to the point where I don't want to smoke as much as I have to stop.

Hopefully I can break this habit permanently - or at least for the rest of my life. I want to. Now even more than I have to.

Isn't it something like, if you can go with it/without it then you can go with it/without it forever?
 
Isn't it something like, if you can go with it/without it then you can go with it/without it forever?

That about puts the neuroscience behind it in a nutshell.

What's happening here is the rerouting of opiates - or to put it another way: I'm trying to regain control of my neuropeptide/receptor functions. It's all about microtubules.
 
That about puts the neuroscience behind it in a nutshell.

What's happening here is the rerouting of opiates - or to put it another way: I'm trying to regain control of my neuropeptide/receptor functions. It's all about microtubules.


I see I originally derped. I meant if you can go without it for 21 days, THEN you can go without it forever, but close enough. :P
 
I see I originally derped. I meant if you can go without it for 21 days, THEN you can go without it forever, but close enough. :P

The first three days are brutal when it comes to giving up smoking.
This is the point that the receptors that are usually demanding nicotine (I want, I want) are not getting it. In fact the bunch of receptors usually active in receiving would have been reduced by the intake of nicotine. Now at the same time they will be stressed into growing more receptors searching for the endorphin from nicotine.
But, according to neuroscience, every endorphin we feed on is already manufactured by the brain - so the relaxed high I should get from nicotine is now in the process of being manufactured, and I'm feeling a lot better already.

In addition, after the third day, the air I'm breathing tastes sweeter, fresher, and goes deeper into my lungs. So an additional plus for the brain since it's getting the goods it needs to function and take control of the processes.
I also feel more active - more energetic - and an overall 'lighter' feeling.

I can't stress how bad the last three days were. Today is a lot better.

Conquering our destructive 'want-to's into what would be considered better 'have-to's does give one a feeling of empowerment.
My advice would be to pick one, and go for it. Then tell us about it here. 👍
 
I want to check out and flirt with this really sweet, really cute girl on my team at work.
I have to accept that she's getting married and exercise restraint and respect.
 
I want to spend hours upon hours driving on a mountain road.
I have to write part of a paper about the german pensions system to help a friend of mine and I have been procrastinating that 🤬 for close to two weeks now. :guilty::ouch::guilty:
 
XS
I want to check out and flirt with this really sweet, really cute girl on my team at work.
I have to accept that she's getting married and exercise restraint and respect.

Good choice in accepting what you have to do as against what you want to do.
It's all about propinquity - which of course, makes the strangest of bedfellows. If that lady was yanked out of there and replaced with another, you might feel the same temptations. So it's not about a particular person attracting you, but a particular situation.
It's in casing these situations, and then deciding upon the right choices, that shapes your destiny.

Good choice . . . and Good Luck! ;)
 
This thread is a bit counterproductive.

There are definitely things in life that you have to do or accept. But they're not things like "write a term paper" or "go to work". You don't have to do those things - lots of people don't. Even if you think you have to go to work to provide for your family... you don't. Lots of people choose not to provide for their families.

You're more likely to have a healthy relationship with the work you do if you admit to yourself that it's what you want to do. Maybe you don't like every aspect, but you write that term paper, and you go to that job because ultimately, you want to. Maybe it's because you want the grade in the class, and that's because you want to go to a certain college or get a certain job. Maybe it's because you want to see your family well provided for and healthy. Whatever the reason, you ultimately want to do it. And if somehow deep down you can discover that you really don't want to do it... don't do it.
 
This thread is a bit counterproductive.

You might have to read the discussion in its entirety if you want to contribute productively.

When your want to matches your have to perfectly is when you have made the perfect choice - as has been discussed in here previously.

Did you want to make a post in here . . . or did you have to? :)
 
You might have to read the discussion in its entirety if you want to contribute productively.

I have.

When your want to matches your have to perfectly is when you have made the perfect choice - as has been discussed in here previously.

That's wrong. When your want to matches your have to, you are a slave - you have no wants outside except that which you cannot control. Your list of "have to's" should be very small. Optimally, everything is a want.

Did you want to make a post in here . . . or did you have to? :)

Want.
 
So you made a choice to be counterproductive?

You're saying that because I contributed to a thread that I considered to be counterproductive I am necessarily being counterproductive? That's an interesting assumption. Don't really see why you made it.
 
You're saying that because I contributed to a thread that I considered to be counterproductive I am necessarily being counterproductive? That's an interesting assumption. Don't really see why you made it.

You are assuming things. I understood that you wanted to be counterproductive:

I wanted to post because the thread is counterproductive.



If you said you had to (compelled to point out that the thread was counterproductive) I may have understood you better.

Maybe that was what you really meant - in which case I can accept that compulsion.

As for the thread actually being counterproductive, it's quite possible you missed what others in the thread have said (I can bring them back and quote them if you wish.) Your opinion that the thread is counterproductive flies in the face of what they said, contradicts them, and is an insult to their intelligences.

Let alone the discussion being not inspiring in any way.
 
You are assuming things. I understood that you wanted to be counterproductive:

You understood incorrectly. That is not what that statement says.


If you said you had to (compelled to point out that the thread was counterproductive) I may have understood you better.

I was not forced to participate, it was entirely by free choice.

As for the thread actually being counterproductive, it's quite possible you missed what others in the thread have said (I can bring them back and quote them if you wish.)

I read the thread.

Your opinion that the thread is counterproductive flies in the face of what they said, contradicts them, and is an insult to their intelligences.

It's not meant to be an insult, but people can choose to be insulted by anything if they want. I fully intended to contradict many of the posts in this thread.

Let alone the discussion being not inspiring in any way.

You can choose whether or not to be inspired if you want. I, personally, think that many people would be inspired to discover the level of choice they have in their own life rather than assuming they are powerless to control their own circumstances - which is what many of the posts in this thread are focused on.

Here's an excellent example of a counterproductive viewpoint:

I want to smoke.
I have to stop.

So I got to the point where my want-to matched my have-to; I came to a full cold-turkey stop three days ago. Today is the morning of my fourth day without cigarettes.

It was a hard three days - but today isn't so bad. The cravings have subsided a lot, and I finally have got to the point where I don'twant to smoke as much as I have to stop.

Hopefully I can break this habit permanently - or at least for the rest of my life. I want to. Now even more than I have to.


You don't have to stop, and it's unhealthy to look at it that way. You should embrace your choice to stop. Unless someone is holding a gun to you telling you "smoke or die", it's your choice - and it's all the better that way.
 
Now before we jump off a building because we want to fly and embrace the hard pavement (fatally) because we have to deal with gravity, let's look at the OP again, so that we can reset our minds after the deraillment (or dopamine-feeding-frenzy, as a resident neuroscientists may call it) that is taking place here (I'll deal with the derailment (since it's not really a priority) later.)



Here is what the OP details about willpower in a metaphorical way:

You WANT to stay home.
You HAVE to go to work.

You WANT to be at the Racetrack.
You HAVE to be at the Doctors.

You probably WANT to hang out with a buddy, drink absinthe, and plan kidnappings.
But . . .you HAVE to do your Homework.


Actually - I don't really know what you HAVE to do - let alone what you really, really WANT to do instead. You tell me.

I WANT to be riding a KLR up the trail to Maccu Picchu right now.
I HAVE to get back to work at painting walls.
:grumpy:


Your turn.. . .

P.S: Please, Keep it Clean, so everybody has a chance to express themselves. ;) Thanks.


This is all about 'Willpower' isn't it?

There are some things we like to do, desire to do, love to do, want to do - but unfortunately they may run counter to what we dislike doing, should do, hate to do, have to do.

Basically it's about what we'd rather do, than what we're obliged to do.

Let me detail a classic experiment on willpower conducted by the Standford University:

A group of four-year olds were presented with a marshmallow and told that if they wanted a second one, they would have to hold on to the first one for 15 minutes before eating it - a reward for exercising their willpower over wanting to eat the sweet right away.
Many of the kids did not wait long and gave in to their cravings, thereby losing out on getting the second marshmallow. Here 'want to' defeated 'have to'.
The test was conducted in the 60s, in various forms with the same group of children.
It turned out that when these indivduals were tracked later, that the ones who mastered their compulsions and acquired two marshmallows (thereby postponing the 'want to' with a 'have to' and multiplying their reward) went on to reach greater academic success as well as an overall better quality of life compared to the children who gave in to their immediate 'want to' and couldn't bother with the 'have to'.

To get back to my 'want to' smoke versus my 'have to' stop - it's now well over a month (not really counting since I have no craving at all - but I'll get to why that is later - when we have discussed some neuroscience) and I'm enjoying my new 'want to' - after having given in to my 'have to'.
Now, unless one is a 'smoker', people don't really have a good idea of what it takes to quit smoking. Non-smokers can be very blithe when it comes to discussing quitting, unless they, of course, have studied the effects of smoking - for instance a doctor or clinic worker involved in addiction control.

Smoking is a pleasure - and so, yes, smokers, (and I was one,) once they get addicted to the pleasure of that on-command dopamine hit, will reach for it over and over again. Scientists can make lab rats do it, till they starve themselves to death, only wanting to press that lever and get a hit of the nicotine, even having to starve to death to continue doing it.

But whats to stop us from wanting this pleasure? After all . . . if there were no adverse effects, why should we stop? Why do we 'have to' stop?

Let me count the reasons why:
1: Nicotine is a natural insecticide.
2: Nicotine causes a change in brain metabolism and interferes with the cortical and sub-cortical regions of the brain responsible for the integration of expression of emotions with perceptions.
3. Nicotine causes long-term binding of the acetylcholine receptor site subtype inducing desensitization.
4. Nicotine causes adverse cardio-vascular symptoms such as increase in heart-rate and blood pressure.
5. Nicotine alters the firing pattern of neurons in the nucleus accumbens region of the brain.

There's more - but hold on . . . we're talking 'nicotine' here (the extremely addictive, and destructive compound in cigarettes) not 'smoking' - which is another thing altogether.

I had to stop 'smoking' - I wasn't chewing this stuff, or plastering a patch on my arm. What was wrong with smoking that I told myself that I had to give it up, even though I wanted to experience the pleasure of smoke?

Let's look at smoking:
Researchers have isolated some 4700 chemicals from tobacco smoke, but up to 100,000 more compounds wait to be discovered.

Here's a partial list of some of the compounds discovered (remember I said 4700 have already been identified):
Acetaldehyde, acetone, aceturitetrile, acrolein, acylonitrile, ammonia, arsenic,
benzene, butylamine, carbon monoxide, carbon dioxide, cresols, crotononitrile, DDT,
dimethylamine, endrin, ethylamine, formaldehyde, furfural hydroquinone,
hydrogen cyanide, hydrogen sulfide, lead, methacrolein, methyl alcohol, methylamine,
nickel compounds, nitric oxide, nitrogen dioxide, phenol, pyradine . . . and yeah, lots, lots more - I've bolded some of the more familiar compounds.

Did I mention a compound called 'nicotine'? A more addictive substance than cocaine.
I had to stop smoking.

They've also identified high levels of radium and polonium-210 in cigarette smoke - these are radioactive compounds - when we smoke we are basically inhaling Chernobyl. And building it up in our bodies. And brains.

Cigarette smoke also contains many poisonous burned plant resins ('tar'), which build up in the lungs.

There are also at least 60 known carcinogens in cigarette smoke.

Other compounds found in cigarette smoke result from herbicides, fungicides, and rodenticides sprayed on to the tobacco prior to harvest - as well as machine lubricants that come into contact with the paper and tobacco as they move along in the manufacturing process.
As well as other compunds not intended for introduction into the human body that are in the various perfumes added to the tobacco to give cigarettes their distintive aroma.

Heres more 🤬 :
Up to 40% of today's average cigarette is composed of leftover stems, scraps, and dust, some of which is swept off the floor before being added to the tobacco. Where in 1955 it took 2.6 pounds of tobacco to produce 1000 cigarettes, the use of this 'filler' has made it possible to produce a 1000 cigarettes with only 1.7 pounds; this allows for a 44% profit margin.

There is also strong evidence to show that manufacturers add nicotine to the raw cigarettes, making them more addictive.

Yeah - smoking this stuff basically fries your brain, alters your behaviour, hits you in the pocket-book, and is overall bad for health. Very good reasons, I would think, to want to have to stop, eh?

But there are other reasons for which I had to stop smoking - I wanted that wonderful 'fresh -air' feeling in my lungs again - the kind I used to talk about in the 'Veggies' thread. I had already stopped, and only restarted a year and a half ago, and realised recently that I had to get that feeling back, and now after well over a month of non-smoking again I have that feeling, as well as renewed energy, and a fresh zest for life - and no cynical curmudgeon reeking of unhappiness is going to prevent me from keeping it up - whatever the semantic skullduggery - so I don't really listen to people (smokers or otherwise) who taunt me into wanting to embrace smoking again (or the sidewalk for that matter from a hundred feet in the air.)

In fact, most of my smoker friends are amazed at my willpower in just stopping overnight, just making up my mind, telling them I was going to stop, and stopping.
Some of them of them have asked me the secret - and I've told them - and so some of them have really cut down, and I do have a strong feeling that many of them will just quit; the envy shows - and they want to get there themselves. I do encourage them.

More about willpower later - since my time is limited - but in closing - do take charge of your life - start with the small things - willpower can be built up.
For a start - use your non-dominant hand to brush your teeth every morning. Show your body who's boss. That's simple neuroscience for everyday living.

:cheers:
H.
 
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