Depression. . . How to deal with a short period of time alone?

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Originally posted by LoudMusic
Hey man, whatever floats yer boat. Though I think you'd see improved times if you just drank lots of coffee (:
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:D Well, I have a problem with coffee, but soda will work. I tried kicking a smoking habit with obtaining a coffee habit. . . It didn't work so I am quitting coffee now and going through withdrawls. . . I can't stray from the 12 step program that I made for myself. . . and if that doesn't work I am going to try Nyquil, you know that is the 13th step :D (Denis Leary pun intended) :D
 
Been there done that. I know the terrible pain before the goodbye. It doesn't sound well to me, the "breakdown" makes me think that all isn't right here..

Hate to say it but talking about marriage before separating for a good deal of time is easy, if you know what i mean.

You'll ride this through whatever happens though, have no fear miata.
 
Originally posted by GTJugend
Been there done that. I know the terrible pain before the goodbye. It doesn't sound well to me, the "breakdown" makes me think that all isn't right here..

Hate to say it but talking about marriage before separating for a good deal of time is easy, if you know what i mean.

You'll ride this through whatever happens though, have no fear miata.
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I was not ready for this to happen basically, I was really in denial of everything happening and how quick it came. . .

Yeah talking about it beforehand I guess is an easy thing, but it had come up in a few conversations before this whole cruise thing came up. . .
 
Well I talked to her today finally,Her cast and crew seem pretty cool she says. I know that she has some emotions looming around that she really doesn't want to talk about. . . It is hard enough sometimes to get them out of her, but then again, I understand exactly why, I too use to be the same way. Even work today I am just whatever. . . It is not the fact that I am constantly thinking about my life now, or for that fact her. . . I just seem to be day dreaming a lot today and unfocussed. . . Is it possible I am still in denial of this or in shock? I am starting to realize I was not prepared or ready for this at all.
 
So. . . what to invovle myself with tonight. . . I think a long cd burning session is in order over here. . . I only have 682 mp3's at work and I am now just starting to realize all the depressing music I have. . . :(
 
I have an adendum. Beer. Beer and GT3. GT3 and beer. Mix well. Consume until you feel better (or worse). Remember, GT3 only. Do not leave the house (:
 
Originally posted by miata13B
So. . . what to invovle myself with tonight. . . I think a long cd burning session is in order over here. . . I only have 682 mp3's at work and I am now just starting to realize all the depressing music I have. . . :(
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I'm going to run some Miatas at Cote. Care to compare times? I'm going to post in the "auto x interest check" thread.
 
Originally posted by LoudMusic
I have an adendum. Beer. Beer and GT3. GT3 and beer. Mix well. Consume until you feel better (or worse). Remember, GT3 only. Do not leave the house (:
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I can't right now anyways I have to rely on others to drive :lol: I am not driving the Mustang anywhere and the Iroc is still for sale so that is not getting driven either :lol: GT3 didn't do it for me last night nor did that case and a half. . .
 
Originally posted by LoudMusic
I'm going to run some Miatas at Cote. Care to compare times? I'm going to post in the "auto x interest check" thread.
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Oh, I'll be on top of that tonight at some point :D I'll compare some times. . . just wondering what class to run. . .
 
Well, last night I finally got back in touch with myself. I had been yearning to do it for a longtime because I had so much to tell in my tale. . . I sat down after work to run the PD Cup race number 7 and got 9 laps into it. . . I paused it and it is still paused at my house as we speak 9 laps into the race. . . I stood up and grabbed my boom box a set of headphones, a book, a pen , and my George Acosta cd "PM" . . .

I was outside on the porsch until 3:47am writing like a madman. I was possessed or something because I must have blew through a quarter of the book or roughly about 20 to 25 pages. . . It felt reliieving at the time and got me out of my gloom for a bit. It feels like an Autmun Gloom but I was just sitting in a Spring Mist. . . It is hard to explain the feeling. . . I view the gloomiest thing in life weather wise is an Autmun Gloom. . . It is an erie feeling upon yourself. . . That is how I feel, and I wrote of it. . . I might end up posting some of it here, but I am unsure as of now. . .

It is funny People lay burdens upon themselves throughout life. They constantly beat themselves up over uncontrollable things. The weight of the world is placed on our shoulders only by our selves. Any of us would love to prevent the hurt and despair in this world. The things we control and the things that we don't. If you could save the world, you would. Save one means the world, and saving the world equates to saving one. Everyone has lost and everyone has gained. . . Everyone has felt pain along with standing silently in the rain. . . .
 
Originally posted by danoff

When I was dating my wife she was away for 5 months or so. I think we both knew about 2 weeks into it that it was a big mistake.
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How did you get by during the time? I am starting to feel the burn three days into this ordeal. . . How did everything go for you? How did you get by?

Last night was the start of me having to be the strong one between the two of us. . . She started to breakdown and I had to lift her up. . . It was tough having to be strong when I wanted to tell her to come home. . . Is the next five months going to be like this because I have a feeling it will be. . . :(
 
Is the next five months going to be like this because I have a feeling it will be
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Maybe, it depends on your relationship. I'd say the closer you are, the more likely that is, but it also has to do with your personality traits.

I don't know how I made it through that time. I think about it now like remembering a time when one of us was in prison or some terrible event happened. I don't like to recall it and it never got easier for me.

Talking to her didn't really help, being with her on the weekends didn't help... we always had an air of depression about being apart for another week. One thing that helped was to stay busy. I worked like a dog while she was away, partially to free up time for when she would be in town. It helped to have obligations and just kinda keep busy working on things.

Having people around to entertain you until you're so tired you fall asleep, and having work to keep you busy during the day... that's the only thing I can recommend. Try to keep your mind off of it. Nothing helps when you're thinking about it.
 
Originally posted by danoff
Maybe, it depends on your relationship. I'd say the closer you are, the more likely that is, but it also has to do with your personality traits.
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WE are extremely close about everything, and at the same time being away, talking on the phone it is so closed. . . It is tough to break that barrier with her. I have been doing tech support over the phone for more than 5 years. I can tell her emotions over the phone and I can see her face when she is talking. I can tell a lot about a person just by listening to them and hearing their voice (kinda freaky). So last night I heard it fully in her voice, and I called her on it. She started to cry for a bit and then that is when I had to go into action. . . I just hate it when I know she is thinking about something and I ask her and she says nothing. . . . that just is Teh Suck

I don't know how I made it through that time. I think about it now like remembering a time when one of us was in prison or some terrible event happened. I don't like to recall it and it never got easier for me.
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I think that is the answer I was unfortunately looking for. . .
Talking to her didn't really help, being with her on the weekends didn't help... we always had an air of depression about being apart for another week. One thing that helped was to stay busy. I worked like a dog while she was away, partially to free up time for when she would be in town. It helped to have obligations and just kinda keep busy working on things.

Having people around to entertain you until you're so tired you fall asleep, and having work to keep you busy during the day... that's the only thing I can recommend. Try to keep your mind off of it. Nothing helps when you're thinking about it.
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 That sounds like a good recipe of what I need to do. . . First off it is going over to the college in town and getting back towards getting my ASE. . . Step two . . . Still working on that. . .
 
It has been a while since I posted here, but I feel an update is needed for those that actually give a flying fark. . .

It has been tough over the past two weeks. I know now that what I expected was a totally under-estimated. . .

There are times in life where you feel on top of the world. There are times in this life where you feel bottom of the barrel. Life is a roller coaster ride through every experience. Most of you that have read this thread have supported me through a need to be heard. It sounds corny and maybe some of you have lost respect for me, whatever little respect that was :lol: . You can even put me on spot with doing something like "SNIFF" (those that saw understand that. It would not make a difference to me.

I must say, this is a true testament for me. Most situations in the past when something has occurred like this I would just turn up my collar and welcome the unknown. I kept telling myself that "One day I would walk alone" . . . There were a lot of times I gave up on things and just left. I was a class A A-hole to tell the truth. There are people that I purposely left and people that I accidently lost contact with them. There have been those that I let slip away from me and those that I isolated from. When she walked into my life, I felt the guilt of it go away as I talked to her about it. She listened to everything I said and told me her thoughts on it. She made me realize that it was human nature for things like this to happen. She didn't persay "complete" me, because only I can do that. . . She did however steal me from myself. I look at myself and don't want to be that anymore. I found the peace that I always searched for with her.

I have reassociated my life again with her away. Took a lot of advice from people here both good and bad and found peace for the time being. There truly is a piece missing from me that was intended to be there from the start. They say "If you love someone let them go, if they come back they are yours". I find strength in this statement. Anytime my mind strays from my feelings or has bad thoughts, I think of it. It settles me from cursing myself into a downward spiral. . .

Now, with that said, those that have been through something similar, I still question how did you get through this? Did you ever find yourself mindless staring at something and daydreaming a lot? Did you ever get any bad thoughts? Did you ever fear the results of the time? Did you know that everything would be ok? Did you have someone to lean on at the time? Where did you find strength in yourself? Did you feel you went on normally in your life with that missing piece?

I am certain that this will go through fine and she will be back in my arms in a short amount of time, but I am wondering, what thoughts and feelings did you guys go through when your time to go through this. . .
 
Miata, I'd say the best things you can do are the things you like to do. Keep yourself occupied, hang out with your friends, visit your family...maybe just concentrate on the ASE certification or maybe even finding a new hobby or skills to acquire.

Perhaps it's time to seek what's inside, finding yourself through religion, siprituality, meditation. Build some web pages, do something artistic, or take up something like drawing or graphic design. There's a whole Photoshop section here that can teach you (not that I'm any expert) a few things.

Maybe you need to do a few hot laps around the O-Ring, as I call it: wandering aimlessly at night in the Chevy around the fastest roads in the Orange County area (I-4, 417, 408...yeah, nearly everything's toll road around your area).

Just some ideas. Maybe you'll rack up a tremendous phone bill talking to her every day, but to hear a voice on the other end that cares shortens the distance you two.
 
Originally posted by pupik
Miata, I'd say the best things you can do are the things you like to do. Keep yourself occupied, hang out with your friends, visit your family...maybe just concentrate on the ASE certification or maybe even finding a new hobby or skills to acquire.
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Already in motion, but not until the Fall term starts at college because that is the next time it is offered. . . So I am starting back on that track : )

Perhaps it's time to seek what's inside, finding yourself through religion, siprituality, meditation. Build some web pages, do something artistic, or take up something like drawing or graphic design. There's a whole Photoshop section here that can teach you (not that I'm any expert) a few things.
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Funny you mentioned that. I finally picked up my guitar for the first time in over 4 years and started jamming out again. . . I need to fix it up because no amp and four strings is not working :lol:

Maybe you need to do a few hot laps around the O-Ring, as I call it: wandering aimlessly at night in the Chevy around the fastest roads in the Orange County area (I-4, 417, 408...yeah, nearly everything's toll road around your area).
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I would, but currently I am in search of a new car. . . The Iroc and Mustang have been sold : ( But it was due to lack of funds to get the IROC running with the parts I wanted and the 2 speeding tickets within a month with the Mustang that did it for me :( so the car search begins again. . . I was thinking of an first generation MR2 with maybe a 305 in it. . . :devilgrin:

Just some ideas. Maybe you'll rack up a tremendous phone bill talking to her every day, but to hear a voice on the other end that cares shortens the distance you two.
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Thanks Pupik. I talk to her everyday more then once and I feel blessed for being able to do that. . . Sometimes the Miata needs a slap in the face kinda like the scene in the moving Airplane with the chick going off and everyone lining up with a different weapon to hit her with :lol:
 
Originally posted by miata13B
Sometimes the Miata needs a slap in the face kinda like the scene in the moving Airplane with the chick going off and everyone lining up with a different weapon to hit her with :lol:
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Sometimes I have customers like that. They're fully in spaz mode: "It's a lease car", "I ought to get more than 30,000 out of my tires", and "So what if I put diesel fuel in the car"...(smack!)
 
Originally posted by pupik
Sometimes I have customers like that. They're fully in spaz mode: "It's a lease car", "I ought to get more than 30,000 out of my tires", and "So what if I put diesel fuel in the car"...(smack!)
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Oh I remember those folks, what fun they can be. . . I think they are more pissed because they realized how screwed they got. . .

Oh update. . . Kristien got the Dance Captain position : )
 
Now, with that said, those that have been through something similar, I still question how did you get through this?
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It just sucked for a long time.

Did you ever find yourself mindless staring at something and daydreaming a lot?
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I found myself thinking about her alot.

Did you ever get any bad thoughts? Did you ever fear the results of the time? Did you know that everything would be ok?
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Not really. I just couldn't stand not being near her - being unable to protect her, or talk to her or just look at her.

Did you have someone to lean on at the time? Where did you find strength in yourself?

Not really anyone to lean on. I had some friends that distracted me from the issue but I kinda dealt with it on my own.

Did you feel you went on normally in your life with that missing piece?
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Not at all. I felt like there was something wrong with the world and that normalness was not possible.
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Originally posted by danoff
It just sucked for a long time.
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I am finding that out myself, but I have come to a level of contentness now where I can deal with the ins and outs for the most part, but a few small things are making it suckinnate



I found myself thinking about her alot.
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Everynight I lay in bed with one of the dogs I find is the time I mostly think about her. . . Mainly the first thing and last thing of the day I think about is her. . .



Not really. I just couldn't stand not being near her - being unable to protect her, or talk to her or just look at her.
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You nailed it right on the head Danoff. . . I find myself pondering over thoughts of protecting her, and I kick myself in the rear all the time over it. . .



Not at all. I felt like there was something wrong with the world and that normalness was not possible.
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Normalness, that concept only comes together with a routine in life that is unchanged. . . I definately do not feel that anyday of the week now. I feel robbed from this world in times, but When she is around I am on top of the world. . .
 
I now you already said you were getting a hobby. But why don't you make something so that you can surprise her when she gets back?
 
Originally posted by ExigeExcel
I now you already said you were getting a hobby. But why don't you make something so that you can surprise her when she gets back?
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You know, I read that on my way out and I am sorry I did not reply. . . I did though. I wrote her a song and played it for her last weekend. . . Thanks my friend I will continue to try to do things for her like that. . . That made me happy. : )
 
Well folks, this is it. . . I will be off of GTP until next Monday. . . I took off the rest of this week from work to go be with Kristen down in Fort Lauderdale for the rest of her Reheasals. This is going to be the last amount of time I can spend with her until I can get some more time off and a plane ticket to Puerto Rico to get on the ship. . .

I am scared ****less right now. I am worried about her in many ways currently. Throughout rehearsals she has had the tendonitous (sp.) in her right ankle act up and it is also occurring in her left ankle now. Her hips are bothering her and she thinks her back is misaligned. I am very concerned for her health, but she already knows her dancing career is coming to an end and this might be her last chance for it. I need to be extra strong for her at this point. There was a point when she was ready to quit and come home last weekend and a few times during the week. When she told me her reasons for it, I stopped bitting my lip in wanting to tell her I wanted her home and how I felt about everything. I told her if I could I would want her here the whole time. But, I told her she needs to re-think that decision in many different perspectives. I will not let her quit for the reason she wants to be held by me every night (even though I feel the same). I will not let her quit because of a family problem that is being worked out (no deaths or anything, that would definately be a major reason to quit). I told her I was concerned about her future, and she wants to train and be a Casting director for this company. If she bails on this contract, I am pretty sure her dreams of working for this company are down the tubes. I can't let her ruin her future for 5 extra months on being held by me at night. It was really tough when she told me she wanted to stay two weekends ago. . . I did loss it right before she left. . .

So, I am scared basically, I am looking for strength and sort of found some. I accept everything that is happening and I did not think I would actually accept this before she left. . . It is tough and hard on me and I thought I was strong enough for it and realized I was not ready at all. . . I grow a strong love for her everyday that goes by and know that I need this time alone with myself to better my life and my life with her. . .
 
Originally posted by Tercel_driver
[Removed by moderator]

100% reliable.
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WTF , I should ***** Smack You. . . Don't post that Crap in my thread, take your sorry arse out of here!

Could someone remove that post from here?

I am out right Pissed after that comment. . . I need to cool down, I almost wanted to hit something over that. . . Good thing Sniffer is not around. . .
 
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Does his post is good enough for three strikes at once? :rolleyes:
 
Originally posted by jpmontoya
Does his post is good enough for three strike at once? :rolleyes:
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You know I would have been banned a longtime ago then :lol: , but as in "Coming to America" "YEAH!"
 
Well. . . The week went by too fast. She left yesterday morning at 9 am from Fort Lauderdale Intl. Airport. I spent the past 6 days with less then 6 hours of sleep with her. It was tough Saturday I was a sobbing mess. I spent 3 hours detailing her car because I could not watch her pack all of her belongings. It sucked. . .

I don't know what to feel now. She wrote me a letter describing what she felt for me and gave me a picture along with it. It meant the world to me that Krosten did that. . . On the Letter she wrote how she felt about me. . . The funny part is, it would have been exactly what I would have written to her too. . .

I am just lost right now. . . I think I am going to go post elsewhere . . . : (
 
been through what you've gone through
sounds like ur lot older than I am though...
I was in highschool when it happened... but yah.
I just call up my buddies and we go chill... make some new friends... and drive around.... sleep... play some games...

but i never had to deal with it with such a long duration. So I dunno EXACTLY how u feel and to what extent... all i can say is good luck.
 

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