Depression Thread

Discussion in 'The Rumble Strip' started by JohnBM01, Mar 24, 2004.

  1. MatskiMonk

    MatskiMonk Premium

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    19/27 for me... seems fair.

    If self debt in your ability to see through your degree, and build on it, is something that's in your head, I think that will be reflected in the scores.
     
  2. HenrySwanson

    HenrySwanson

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    Nice :tup:

    Sorry to hear. How long would you say it's been that bad

    I've actually passed the exams and so will graduate next month but I'm not convinced I have the abilities to be in the job the degree qualifies you for. But yes I agree, it definitely is skewing my score.
     
  3. MatskiMonk

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    Long enough for two separate groups of people to express their concern that I may be suicidal, which I'm not, but work and financial pressure over the last couple of years is clearly taking its toll. I'd expect the score to have been solidly in the teens for about the last... 25 years or so though.

    If you don't have to put anything on the line to follow that career path, I'd say go for it. It depends on the degree, but as an employer I'd always stress that qualifications are only half the picture, experience is the other half - and you can't get that unless you go for it. If you can walk away from the job in 12 months time and simply go to a 'lesser' job then, you'll be doing so having learned more, having applied more, and having experience that those around you in 'lesser' jobs won't have. Just my two cents.
     
  4. kikie

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    Thanks.

    It is actually less than 3 to be honest. More like 1.


    I did the test again, in English this time and was completely honest and scored 1 (=normal). I also did the test and answered how I should have felt during my severe clinical depressions (had 6 so far) and I would have scored 27.
     
    Last edited: May 15, 2019
  5. kikie

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    General anaesthesia (yesterday) made me depressed again. It is not that bad but still a bad feeling and no interest in doing anything. I did the test again and I scored at least a 10 - 12.

    :ouch:
     
  6. FoRiZon

    FoRiZon

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    Great watch. Big relation to the cause of Depression:
     
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  7. kikie

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    It seems that it was only a reaction to the general anaesthesia because I don't feel depressed anymore and I have a huge appetite.
     
  8. HenrySwanson

    HenrySwanson

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    I did not know this was a thing - thanks for highlighting it. Good to see you're on the mend.

    That's....a long time. Do you see anyone for it?

    I decided to withdraw from my job offer so am now looking at alternatives. It was a hard decision but I really felt there was a ceiling to my abilities and wasn't confident I'd be the right fit for the job. It's very annoying and depressing as it was 6 years of study and a vocation and I'm really not sure how to progress.
     
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  9. MatskiMonk

    MatskiMonk Premium

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    My local bartender. :D Seriously, no. I know it makes me stubborn and a bit pig headed, and I know people that literally can't get through life without therapy, but I've never done it. I was sent for CBT the first time I ever spoke to my Doctor about it, but never went. I don't believe words can fix the problems, I know it will take action and effort from me, a strangers words won't change that, they won't change the past, and without me doing what I have to do, it won't change the future (other than make me poorer). I've spent most of my life analysing the way I feel and the way I think, deep down, I know what I have to do, I just can't do it. The inhibition effects of alcohol always get me closer, but never close enough, and nothing prescription ever did any good.

    Maybe I will one day, when it's too late!
     
  10. W3HS

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    I don’t know if I’m depressed or just numb these days. The mood stabilisers seem to be doing their job but I’m certainly not well balanced.

    The 6 pints in the fridge should help me “feel” a little of something. Anything. Hopefully.
     
  11. kikie

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    It is maybe just a personal thing and other people don't have the same issue with general anaesthesia?
     
  12. phillkillv2

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    I could use a cigarette.

    The past two years have been bad for me and a lot of what I built up for myself is gone and I am back to square one.

    I have severe PTSD. I've been taking melatonin for the past month just to sleep at night.

    On top of that I have a form of OCD that not many people know of. It's embarrassing and noticable.

    I've taken medicine for this, but it made me feel like I was going for a ride in my own body.

    It's not that I want to end it all, I'm just thinking about it. There's so much potential for me, so much good to do, so much to see, but the question I ask is if I will ever see or live to my own potential.
     
  13. W3HS

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    Is it this? That’s what I deal with on a daily basis. You can’t imagine how much time I spend sweeping up after myself.
     
  14. W3HS

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    As expected on the road back to sobriety, I’m completely bummed out until the alcohol is totally out of my system. That could be up to a month, I suppose.

    The stress from all directions is wearing me down to the where I feel totally despondent to thought of the future. I’m just hurdling each day at a time with no particular direction or motivation.

    I honestly believe that if I didn’t have to hold it together for the sake of the job that I love, I’d be in millions of little pieces right now, metaphorically speaking, of course.
     
  15. Beeblebrox237

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    I don't know if it's something you've tried, but I'd suggest making some notecards or wallchart or something with a grid set up with either 7 or 14 columns. Label them by days of the week, and put an X through each day you go without having a drink. That way you have a visible and tangible record of just how well you're doing. It might help to see what you've already accomplished. Beating addiction isn't an easy task, but I've heard it helps to have tangible things to celebrate milestones, as well. Get a tattoo to celebrate a meaningful milestone, or save up some of your money that would otherwise have been spent on beer and buy something you really wanted after a year sober. That way you've not only got something to work towards, but you've got a trophy to show for your progress. You've got this!
     
  16. kikie

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    That is my life every single day.
     
  17. phillkillv2

    phillkillv2

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    It feels strange but having your own family to rely on
     
  18. MatskiMonk

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    Don't forget that alcohol affects your body and brain chemistry in indirect ways. I'd look at taking vitamin supplements if you don't already, particularly Magnesium. Alcohol flushes Magnesium out of you, and Magnesium deficiency is a cause of lots of problems including depression and anxiety (and lots of physical symptoms). It's only when I stop taking Magnesium that I really how much of an effect it has.

    I'm trying to kick it at the moment also.

    I've stacked on weight this year, and it's all because of alcohol and age. For the first time in about 15 years I went rock climbing a couple of weeks back, and after being almost competition level at the age of 20, at the age of 40 I can barely do a pull up. It's 'depressing' in it's own right. My intention is to at least get back from 95 kg to about 80kg in weight... and that's only possible if I cut my alcohol intake -- and don't substitute it with anything else. As you probably know sugar cravings can be high when you stop drinking.. and since I'm also on Huel (a vegan meal drink), I've already got strong cravings for fats and salts too.

    ...So far, over the past week I think the closest I've got is a day when I only had 1 bottle of Corona... so I've not actually stopped yet. I did pour away half a bottle of Whisky this morning to remove the temptation when I get home. We'll see.
     
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  19. W3HS

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  20. kikie

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    I've got more energy since I take Magnesium. Have been taking magnesium for about 14 days.

    *Is Magnesium with a capital letter? I think so but I want to be sure.
     
  21. MatskiMonk

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    I googled it, apparently you don't.
     
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  22. W3HS

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    It’s not a proper noun so there isn’t any need to capitalise it, unless you’re referring to a particular brand.
     
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  23. HenrySwanson

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    It's in the literature so it's been recognised before. Very interesting

    Have you or a doctor looked into high dose baclofen?

    https://www.rehabs.com/pro-talk-art...ses-of-baclofen-to-suppress-alcohol-cravings/

    It's not for everyone but it might be worth a shot, especially if you have anxiety problems
     
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2019
  24. kikie

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    That is actually good to know.
     
  25. Galaxander96

    Galaxander96

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    Chiming into this thread to share my troubles, I may need some help here....

    So, about a decade ago, I felt that life was good, I was optimistic, not to mention the summers of 2007-2010 for me were by and far the happiest times of my life. I was 11-13 years old then. I am painfully nostalgic about those days as a pre-teen/early teenager, and as much as I know those days won't ever come back, I desparately want to go back to the days when I was the happiest in my life, more than anything. My life now feels miserable by comparison.

    Now, I'm 22 y/o, and I'm not sure if i felt worse in my life. I failed all my college classes earlier this spring; forget about graduating college on time. I've been extremely depressed, disillusioned, insecure, and longing for my pre-teen days, back when I was actually enjoying my life and when I wasn't going through the living hell that I am now. I cannot seem to enjoy things like I could 10 years ago. I am extremely depressed, and doubtful that things will ever get better for me. At this point, I'm wanting to give up on life completely, and I don't know what to make of myself right now. At least I have my Game Boy Advance, PS2 and a copy of Gran Turismo 4 for me to relive my better days.

    I guess it turns out, 'Boulevard of Broken Dreams' by Green Day wasn't just a song that evokes nostalgia in me, it now seems like a prophecy of my current situation and all it's depressing misery. I wish I knew how to make myself feel better, but I don't. I think I need some advice on how to fix this...
     
  26. Dan

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    I don’t like giving out boilerplate responses, but I think you should look for a professional to help you through this. They’ll be able to offer better advice than we can.
     
  27. kikie

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    I feel mentally better since I don't eat that many nuts anymore. Could it be that there is a relation between certain nuts and how you feel mentally?
    Actually I barely eat any nuts anymore.
     
  28. W3HS

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    According to some dieticians, yes.
     
  29. kikie

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    Do you mean that?
     
  30. JohnBM01

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    First half of 2019 is over. Hopefully the second half of 2019 will go better for you if the first half wasn't that good. I try to have that "turn-the-page" or "tomorrow is a new day" mentality for when times haven't been very good. Depression will catch up to you when you're down, but don't let it win. Seek help if you can. Take certain supplements if you have to. Just try to keep yourself upright in the toughest of times.