Depression and Anxiety Thread

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kikie
No news about @MatskiMonk?
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I am still here. Thanks for the concern.

I've been freaking out a bit recently. The news about my friends impending death has had quite an effect on me to be honest. A lot of things are going quite badly at the moment, I can't remember if I've posted here about it or not, but two groups of people independently expressed their concern over me appearing to be suicidal. I've not actually felt that I am, so I shrugged it off a bit, but last week it got a whole lot closer, mentally at least. I'm sure most people in this thread have questioned how much longer they can put up with feeling the way they do, and last week I felt that the answer for me, had become inevitable, hence, not long now, because I think I am at my breaking point.

I've been advised from a non-professional that I'm suffering from burnout, which I'd not considered before, but actually makes a lot of sense. Add to that, last week I attempted to end my relationship with my girlfriend, which also had a big affect on me psychologically... though as of now, I've not actually followed that through... and am feeling better about it this week.

My friend, who is starring death in the face, has told me to stop wasting my life... I don't really know how to deal with that.

Like I say, thanks for the concern though, I don't like to appear melodramatic.
 
MatskiMonk
I am still here. Thanks for the concern.

I've been freaking out a bit recently. The news about my friends impending death has had quite an effect on me to be honest. A lot of things are going quite badly at the moment, I can't remember if I've posted here about it or not, but two groups of people independently expressed their concern over me appearing to be suicidal. I've not actually felt that I am, so I shrugged it off a bit, but last week it got a whole lot closer, mentally at least. I'm sure most people in this thread have questioned how much longer they can put up with feeling the way they do, and last week I felt that the answer for me, had become inevitable, hence, not long now, because I think I am at my breaking point.

I've been advised from a non-professional that I'm suffering from burnout, which I'd not considered before, but actually makes a lot of sense. Add to that, last week I attempted to end my relationship with my girlfriend, which also had a big affect on me psychologically... though as of now, I've not actually followed that through... and am feeling better about it this week.

My friend, who is starring death in the face, has told me to stop wasting my life... I don't really know how to deal with that.

Like I say, thanks for the concern though, I don't like to appear melodramatic.
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Pfff, happy to be hearing from you again.

Your friend is correct. >> Take it from me a who had 6 severe, very severe depressions (I always scored more than the maximum score that signifies a severe depression), psychoses, phobia, one real suicide attempt in September 2006 and whatnot.

I don't know you except from your post here on GTP of course and I don't know what you are going through or what the reason(s) is (are) for feeling the way you do but you have to take action and do something about your situation to make it better. Find help, preferably professional help. Don't worry about medication because most of the time professional help try the help without meds first. And as a last resort, if nothing else works, they suggest meds but you don't have to take these.

Keep posting in this thread and write all your frustrations and problems down. It helps.
 
lbpomg95
I owe @HenrySwanson a thank you. I downloaded Wisdo. I've been feeling better, finding people who I can relate to. I can't recommend it enough.

It's simple, the problems are laid out, you pick one, and talk to people going through similar. Came across one person and we've been chatting non-stop for days.

I think I might have finally found some sort of path to happiness.
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Glad you find it useful!

Also love the profile pic - my dad is a mechanic who specialises in Volvos (especially classics like the Amazon and P1800) so the thread in your sig is great to read.
 
HenrySwanson
Glad you find it useful!

Also love the profile pic - my dad is a mechanic who specialises in Volvos (especially classics like the Amazon and P1800) so the thread in your sig is great to read.
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The P1800 is my dream car, but the prices are out of my league now.
 
W3HS
Unless you’re a stunt man.
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Maybe :dopey:

In all seriousness though I don't think I can handle doing dock work. I've had a back Injury in the past and it just seems to come back. I'm gonna see if I can change positions today. I originally applied for retail but I thought I could handle docking but it was too much for me. :/
 
MatskiMonk
I am still here. Thanks for the concern.

I've been freaking out a bit recently. The news about my friends impending death has had quite an effect on me to be honest. A lot of things are going quite badly at the moment, I can't remember if I've posted here about it or not, but two groups of people independently expressed their concern over me appearing to be suicidal. I've not actually felt that I am, so I shrugged it off a bit, but last week it got a whole lot closer, mentally at least. I'm sure most people in this thread have questioned how much longer they can put up with feeling the way they do, and last week I felt that the answer for me, had become inevitable, hence, not long now, because I think I am at my breaking point.

I've been advised from a non-professional that I'm suffering from burnout, which I'd not considered before, but actually makes a lot of sense. Add to that, last week I attempted to end my relationship with my girlfriend, which also had a big affect on me psychologically... though as of now, I've not actually followed that through... and am feeling better about it this week.

My friend, who is starring death in the face, has told me to stop wasting my life... I don't really know how to deal with that.

Like I say, thanks for the concern though, I don't like to appear melodramatic.
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How have you been if you don't mind me asking?
 
kikie
How have you been if you don't mind me asking?
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I don't mind, thanks for asking.

Terrible, same as usual. I'm in a limbo where I'm waiting for change to happen, but I'm not doing anything to bring it on. I need to quit my job, declare bankruptcy, and get my girlfriend to categorically state our relationship is over. Then, perhaps, each and every day wouldn't be spent dreading the next, as it has been for years, and I might have a chance of being a person again.
 
MatskiMonk
I don't mind, thanks for asking.

Terrible, same as usual. I'm in a limbo where I'm waiting for change to happen, but I'm not doing anything to bring it on. I need to quit my job, declare bankruptcy, and get my girlfriend to categorically state our relationship is over. Then, perhaps, each and every day wouldn't be spent dreading the next, as it has been for years, and I might have a chance of being a person again.
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In other words, you need a new start. I truly wish your wishes come true and your life changes for the better.
 
My father got downstairs a few minutes ago, I hugged him and said good morning and the first thing he said was: "I wish I was dead". You can imagine how I feel now.
 
kikie
My father got downstairs a few minutes ago, I hugged him and said good morning and the first thing he said was: "I wish I was dead". You can imagine how I feel now.
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Damn. And for him to tell you that seriously, he must be in a really bad place.
 
If you have pets, one thing I thought of is that if you aren't feeling happy, your pet(s) may be. You could use energy from your pet(s) to help cheer yourself up. I often believe in doing certain things to where you can draw in energy and be able to use that drawn energy to help give you energy in return. It was something I sort of thought of for those of you who may have pets.

As always... stay in the fight! Don't let depression win.
 
Don't worry, not on the brink of anything stupid, but man, I'm so close to just saying '**** it'. Various strands of my life have reached the end of the line, and now the whole thing isn't tied together very well.

I've gotta change my groove man.
 
A few people have told me this year that I should start with Yoga which is a very good anti-depression thing, apparently.
 
kikie
A few people have told me this year that I should start with Yoga which is a very good anti-depression thing, apparently.
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I've heard similar things. I'm pretty sure there's been research into general exercise and its effects on mood too.

MatskiMonk
Don't worry, not on the brink of anything stupid, but man, I'm so close to just saying '**** it'. Various strands of my life have reached the end of the line, and now the whole thing isn't tied together very well.

I've gotta change my groove man.
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Damn that sucks to hear.

Even if things have come to an end can you not look forward to new beginnings or a fresh start in other parts of your life?
 
kikie
A few people have told me this year that I should start with Yoga which is a very good anti-depression thing, apparently.
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Sports is a very potent anti-depressant, as long as you don't overdo it or get too ambitious or expect to reach unrealistic goals fast. I started weight lifting to control my depressions and dull them down a little, I have no idea where I would be without this hobby. The last 15 years I have been spending 2 hours / day on weight training with like a total of 30 days downtime.

Also one side effect of sports is once you reach your first goals you'll get a little ambitious and to reach your next goals you will no longer give in to the looming temptations of alcohol or other drugs, which drastically undermine your fitness goals.

Regular sports and in combination with spending time in nature are probably the two biggest anti-depressants there is.
 
Michael88
Sports is a very potent anti-depressant, as long as you don't overdo it or get too ambitious or expect to reach unrealistic goals fast. I started weight lifting to control my depressions and dull them down a little, I have no idea where I would be without this hobby. The last 15 years I have been spending 2 hours / day on weight training with like a total of 30 days downtime.

Also one side effect of sports is once you reach your first goals you'll get a little ambitious and to reach your next goals you will no longer give in to the looming temptations of alcohol or other drugs, which drastically undermine your fitness goals.

Regular sports and in combination with spending time in nature are probably the two biggest anti-depressants there is.
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Yes, I know about sports being an antidepressant. But it is more cardiovascular exercises that are very effective, mainly jogging. Power and weight lifting are less effective.

I stopped jogging because of the side effect and the 15kg of overweight. I have been jogging (running) for years and finally decided to stop because I got serious injuries due to the side effects.

Oh yes, (the bold text) is so true. I completely agree! 👍 Except for the "the two biggest". There are many natural antidepressants besides sports and nature. And it also depends on what kind of depression one has.

My depression is very easily treatable but it is also very easy for me to relapse. My body is perfectly capable of producing the neurotransmitters that I need to be depression free but because I'm one of those people who are hypersensitive, it is also very easy to get in depression.

I have been told several times this year (last Friday was the last time) to start with yoga. I'm also going to start with alternative treatments to get rid of my childhood and young adult traumas and hope that this makes me less sensitive. These things are also very good antidepressants (at least for my kind of depression). Oh, before I forget, the best antidepressant for me is relaxation and meditation (even better than jogging, yoga and nature) but as long as I have these traumas, it will always be possible to relapse.
 
kikie
Yes, I know about sports being an antidepressant. But it is more cardiovascular exercises that are very effective, mainly jogging. Power and weight lifting are less effective.
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I find serious weight lifting far more potent in its anti depressant effects than cardio. Before I started lifting I was a hardcore cyclist, the problem was the way I did this sport I could only do it three times per week, otherwise I would have ground my body into oblivion. I simply could not do 120 kilometers more than 3 times a week in this very hilly place where I live, and if I did more my body ached horribly and depression got worse. Not to mention in winter I could not do any cycling at all and in summer I got fried by the heat.
Now weight lifting I can split so I can do 2 hours every day without killing myself, and that's 365 days / year. And, a personal thing, I'm happier with being able to deadlift 250kg or strict overhead press 110kg instead of doing 100+ km on the road, I think its a bigger achievement, but that's just a personal thing.

Also I need the constant daily workout, for my kind of depression I need a constant stimulant. For me nothing is worse than relaxing, sleeping or having nothing to do, I need to be moving constantly and focus on something. When I have nothing to do at work I instantly feel the intense urge to stand up and walk around randomly just to be moving - which I often do. Relaxing is like death for me.

My depression is very easily treatable but it is also very easy for me to relapse. My body is perfectly capable of producing the neurotransmitters that I need to be depression free but because I'm one of those people who are hypersensitive, it is also very easy to get in depression.
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That sounds promising, its also a good thing that you are so aware of your state. 👍
 
I've been looking at various online sites trying to learn about worldwide rates of depression. Afghanistan seems to be worst off. There seems to be quite of a bit variations between countries, regions and even within the same country. For instance, for the UK, I've seen rates of over 20% and as low as 10%, but with women being somewhat worse off. In Euro countries, Iceland seems to be worst off. Why do you suppose that is?
 
Dotini
In Euro countries, Iceland seems to be worst off. Why do you suppose that is?
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Since depression rates climb rapidly the further north you go I think it has a lot to do with staying indoors due to the climate and lack of sunlight - especially in Iceland, in winter the sun hardly rises beyond the horizon, and that just for a couple hours. AFAIK Finland is also pretty high on the list of most depressed populace.

I think lack of outdoor activities, being trapped indoors for many months and living a lifestyle with very little physical activities skyrockets depression in the populace.
 
Michael88
Since depression rates climb rapidly the further north you go I think it has a lot to do with staying indoors due to the climate and lack of sunlight - especially in Iceland, in winter the sun hardly rises beyond the horizon, and that just for a couple hours. AFAIK Finland is also pretty high on the list of most depressed populace.

I think lack of outdoor activities, being trapped indoors for many months and living a lifestyle with very little physical activities skyrockets depression in the populace.
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Thanks! That makes much sense. But stats I've seen show countries in North Africa and the Middle East to also be extremely high in depression rates. It couldn't be due to cold weather, so it must be something else. And in Afghanistan it is insanely high. Do you think economic conditions or conflict zones could be implicated?
 
I've always had a social anxiety issue, especially when it involves making sure that someone's happy with a service. Mostly why I've preferred jobs that were in the background and had little customer interaction. But a sudden change in my workplace has fellow co-workers and managers encouraging me to take a promotion, however I feel myself doing nothing but fearing the worst outcomes. It feels stupid of me to be given these "great" opportunities, only to be too scared to take them and possibly make a huge mess of it. I'm sure this could just be called getting out your comfort zone, but all I do is think of past mistakes and fear that I'll disappoint everyone.

It feels like anytime I've tried to do something, I fail and am told "I knew you couldn't do it."
 
I was just randomly reading this thread regarding sports. As former competitive swimmer and long distance swimmer I can tell you in my opinion lifting weights is probably best for getting "high" with sports (again it's just my opinion, and I'm not depressed) because when you lift HEAVY in big exercises like Dead lift you will stimulate your hormones and seratonine much more opposed to if I go and do 10 km swimming training that will just drain me and will want to go to sleep.
 
HenrySwanson
Social anxiety is crippling and can lead to people not realising their full potential. Are you on any medication or currently seeing anyone for it? There is a good forum that may be able to help: https://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/
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I was recently prescribed Sertraline and I have been seeing a therapist. But this was all pretty recent, so I'm not sure if I'm really over it and ready to take on a full on customer service position.
 
Easy come, easy go this depression business. While I will state that I’m a chronic depressive, I do have some respite from time to time, even if the break is chemically induced.

All I can think to say is that death may be the answer, it might be that we ascend after biting the bullet but that’s just a hypothetical. The real reason to stay alive is because of the unexpected; tomorrow.

Don’t change yourself, change your environment, your situation, and if you still feel like crap then consult a bar tender, they’ll help you with all your worldly woes.
 
W3HS
....and if you still feel like crap then consult a bar tender, they’ll help you with all your worldly woes.
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Heck, I cant even go to any bars anymore because my chronic gut inflammation prevents me from ingesting even the tiniest amount of alcohol.
Haven't seen the inside of a bar for 5 years now. This also prevents me from attending to any parties, twice I've been at parties without consuming any alcohol, lets say it was incredibly boring - for me. So I just stopped.
 
W3HS
Easy come, easy go this depression business. While I will state that I’m a chronic depressive, I do have some respite from time to time, even if the break is chemically induced.

All I can think to say is that death may be the answer, it might be that we ascend after biting the bullet but that’s just a hypothetical. The real reason to stay alive is because of the unexpected; tomorrow.

Don’t change yourself, change your environment, your situation, and if you still feel like crap then consult a bar tender, they’ll help you with all your worldly woes.
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It hits you hard and always at the wrong time.

I was sitting up all last night having nervous tics due to my PTSD. I haven’t gotten help for it, yet.

2019 has been the loneliest year in my life, but it has been a great one. Although having my issues, I cut out a lot of people from my life that were just using me as a prop or just to have a laugh.

2020 will be a definite struggle, but I have a feeling that it will be better than this. There’s a lot of financial pressure that I’m going to have to work off and I plan to finish school.

I need to figure out a way to shake old memories and all the crazy stuff I saw as a kid.
 
MedigoFlame
I was recently prescribed Sertraline and I have been seeing a therapist. But this was all pretty recent, so I'm not sure if I'm really over it and ready to take on a full on customer service position.
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There's a good quote from Balzac that might give you something to think on:

“Our worst misfortunes never happen, and most miseries lie in anticipation.”

phillkillv2
It hits you hard and always at the wrong time.

I was sitting up all last night having nervous tics due to my PTSD. I haven’t gotten help for it, yet.

2019 has been the loneliest year in my life, but it has been a great one. Although having my issues, I cut out a lot of people from my life that were just using me as a prop or just to have a laugh.

2020 will be a definite struggle, but I have a feeling that it will be better than this. There’s a lot of financial pressure that I’m going to have to work off and I plan to finish school.

I need to figure out a way to shake old memories and all the crazy stuff I saw as a kid.
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You say you plan to finish school - have you come back to education as an adult learner?
 

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